Authoress: Well, here's a little Naruto one-shot. Non-yaoi, as always. Uh…beware of creepiness and oddness.

Um…I don't own Naruto or any characters in this fic.

Yakushi Kabuto learned something that day. Actually, he learned a few things. First and foremost, he learned that couches aren't particularly comfortable. Especially when they smell. Secondly, he learned that his master was human. And that, in all truth, scared him to death.

He was curled up on said uncomfortable couch. However, he was so tired that he didn't care about the springs digging into his spine. He didn't care about the stale odor of sweat that hung in the cushions. It was 1:27 in the morning and Kabuto wanted to sleep. He'd been watching a movie, but had gotten bored and put the TV on mute. The colored light from the screen bounced off of the ceiling, lulling Kabuto into a daze. He blinked and rolled over, burying his face in his pillow. He lay there for a few minutes, listening to his own heartbeat.

And then he was poked.

Kabuto growled. Being poked was not something he enjoyed. And whoever was prodding him would pay dearly. He kicked out blindly and came in contact with something that was definitely human. Probably his assailant's leg.

"Kabuto?" a male voice inquired mildly.

"Nhngu?" Kabuto groaned, pulling his blanket over his head. He was poked again.

"Ka-bu-to."

Kabuto was getting annoyed. He sat up abruptly, throwing his blanket on the floor. His ponytail had fallen out at some point and the sudden movement had jarred his glasses, causing them to fall into his lap.

"Will you knock it off?" he screamed hoarsely, clenching folds of fabric from his pants in his fists.

What Kabuto saw horrified him. Even though he was dreadfully nearsighted and his glasses were currently not on his face, he was able to make out the general appearance of the person who had been poking him. Long, dark hair. Pale skin. Eyes that looked suspiciously golden.

He had just screamed at (and previously kicked) Orochimaru.

His master.

Who was decidedly insane.

"Orochimaru-sama, I…" he choked dryly, hastily shoving his knees under him in a sort of crooked bow.

"Hello, Kabuto," Orochimaru purred. Kabuto chanced a look at him, after discreetly putting his glasses back on. There was something different about him. His eyes…they shone with an almost childlike curiosity. No, "childlike" wasn't an appropriate description, but it was as close as he was going to get. The point was that Orochimaru, S-class criminal, dangerous renegade originally from Konohagakure, looked virtually harmless right now.

Harmless.

Orochimaru.

Two words that, in a sane universe, could never exist in the same sentence.

Of course, Kabuto knew his master well enough to realize that the snakelike man could never be harmless. But to an outsider, at this moment, Orochimaru would appear to be a gentle (albeit odd-looking) man.

All of this weirdness made Kabuto very, very nervous.

"Kabuto?"

The pale-haired young man focused his attention back to Orochimaru. He grinned at his young servant, exposing unusually sharp teeth. A grin that would have seemed spine chilling to any other person actually calmed Kabuto greatly.

"Were you sleeping?"

"Trying to."

"I apologize for disturbing you."

Now things were getting odd again. Orochimaru didn't apologize for anything. Kings don't do such things. Then again, Kabuto supposed, "king" was not a fitting word for his master's rank in Otogakure. A "king" cared for his subjects and tried to make their lives pleasant.

Orochimaru didn't care.

And he didn't make any lives pleasant. It was usually quite the opposite. In fact, the only person Orochimaru had anything close to affection for (besides himself) was Kabuto. Everyone else was disposable.

"You seem to have quite a bit on your mind, Kabuto," Orochimaru observed casually, shifting his weight. Kabuto shrugged. It seemed that Orochimaru meant no harm, so he twisted out of his bow and sat on the couch normally. He pulled his discarded blanket onto his lap.

"Not really, sir. I'm just tired."

"Sleep then." It was a command, but it was spoken in a somewhat mild tone. And since it was a command, Kabuto obeyed, repositioning himself to lie down. He pulled the blanket over his body.

"Sleep well, Kabuto," Orochimaru called softly from down the hall. He had left without his servant even noticing.

Kabuto closed his eyes and smiled. His master had been in a very odd mood. Perhaps it was the late hour, or the full moon that night. Regardless, Kabuto realized that Orochimaru really was a king.

Sometimes.

Authoress: Wow, this is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Hope you enjoyed it.