Disclaimer: I do not own: FF7, 8, 10 & 10-2, Dragon Quest 8 or Slayers! If I did I'd be rich and you would be paying me to read the insane things I came up with! Seriously…no harm is intended…
"Don't call him a Prince in front of me!" – Sylphiel after meeting Prince Philionel
"Official Report on the subject of Prince Philionel's Image…"
From the files of the Seyruun Department of Public Relations…
Written by: Garen Gabriev
Far and wide a legend spreads like wild fire…
Once upon a time girls all over the world had thought of a prince as a handsome, courageous and wonderful man who rode upon a noble white steed to the rescue of the damsel in distress. They dreamed of sleeping princesses awakened by love's first kiss or wicked stepmothers foiled by a gallant and heroic prince's determination to find his lady love! Far and wide girls would dream of attending that one ball that would make them a princess or riding off on the prince's beautiful white horse to his castle in the sky…
And then there was Phil…
Philionel de Seyruun the Crown Prince (and I use the term loosely because I fear my mother's wrath!) of the fair land of Seyruun. He dashed all those young girls' dreams with one simple flash of his ogre-ish teeth. The effect was more devastating than Lina Inverse's infamous Dragon Slave! All over the world girls tossed away the old fairytale books and young mothers refused to pass along the old stories.
Traumatized females across the world deeply mourned the loss of the old Prince Fairytales as Philionel's "legend" grew across the world. To this day there isn't a single female who has not laid eyes upon Philionel's likeness and to this day there is not one woman young or old who would ever believe that there could ever have been such a thing as a "handsome" prince. Much less one from the Seyruun household!
Not to say that Phil was by any means a bad guy! On the contrary Philionel was a fair and just leader. He was revered by his people and his daughter Amelia was much loved in Seyruun as well. He looked out for the well being of every citizen and strived constantly to keep the peace between his neighbors. You can never judge a book by its cover after all! He judged people by the content of their character rather than their birth titles. Of course this became a lucky thing for a certain chimera!
His "legend" was offset slightly by the dramatic entrance in to the royal house of one Zelgadis Greywords! By foiling a neighboring kingdom's plans to eliminate the royal family and destroy the prosperous and peaceful land of Seyruun Lord Greywords (as the people Seyruun called him during the years he befriended the princess) won him self much recognition but he was never called a prince! At his wedding to Queen Amelia Will Tesla de Seyruun Zel became known through out the world as the great Stone King. Please refer to the report: Magic of Carealot Part two for complete details. Suffice it to say that it provided a relief for the mourning women whose image of a handsome prince had crumbled to dust.
So the legend of a beautiful princess in disguise who went off to help the infamous Lina Inverse save the world grew as we the members the Seyruun P.R. corps sought to do some damage control. Zel and Amelia's daughters turned out to be as drop dead gorgeous as Phil was ugly. However, as a result of Prince Philionel's shall we say "unique" looks the idea of a handsome prince disappeared from all the lands well before his time ended!
There was of course the occasional handsome prince as was the case with Prince Squall Lionheart. However, he entered the Royal house of Galbadia and became a prince by virtue of his marriage to Princess Rinoa so technically he didn't count. Neither did Prince Vincent Hero from Trodain who married Princess Medea, Prince Tidus who married Princess Yuna from Besaid Islands or Prince Cloud who married Princess Aerith from Gaia. Most of those men were strong and clever warriors who made names for themselves and captured the hearts of their princesses through honesty and hard work.
In conclusion the Department of Public Relations recommends that Prince Phillip Greywords continue to be hidden from the public eye until said time that we could determine it safe for him to appear publicly as the Prince of Seyruun…
(Scribbled at the bottom of the page)
Forget what those old farts say! Knock 'em dead kid! – Your brother-in-law Garen
…ha…ha
…ha…ha…ha
…ha…ha…ha…ha…ha…ha…ha…ha…ha…ha…ha…ha…ha…ha…ha…ha…ha…ha…ha…ha
Prince Phil laughed as he closed the file and stood up from his desk. He walked over to the portrait of his grandfather Philionel and again he laughed. It's true that growing up he had been skinny, weak, awkward and a little weird looking but a year away adventuring with his father, Uncle Gourry and Uncle Zangalus had cured him of the weak-skinny-awkward part!
He was born a year after his grandfather Philionel had passed away. His oldest sister – who is married to Aunt Lina's oldest son Garen – is fifteen years his senior and his other two sisters were twelve and ten years his seniors. He even had nieces and nephews who were almost as old as he was! His mother occasionally referred to him as "Daddy's parting gift" and Aunt Lina just called him an "Ooops!" moment.
His father however had a more practical explanation. He knew thatAmelia – distraught over her father's death – had on purpose not cast her birth control spell on her self (without telling him) hoping for one last chance at having a boy whom she could name after grandpa Philionel. His father had not revealed this to him until they were away adventuring.
He had also learned that Aunt Lina had threatened to Giga Slave Seyruun Capital City on the day he was born if his mother called him Philionel. According to Aunt Lina he had been much too cute a baby for such a name! In the end his eldest sister came to his rescue and settled the dispute by proposing the name Phillip.
As he gazed upon the portrait of grandfather Philionel he regretted that he never had the chance to meet the old man. His mother and his sisters had plenty of good things to say about him. Today was the day of his eighteenth birthday and it was the day that he would be officially presented to the court of Seyruun and to the people of his country who had not seen him since he left a year ago.
He had returned in secret hiding his face behind a mask and hood as his father had once done. His reasons for hiding his face were much different! He had always resented that the PR corps was always worrying that he would further disrupt the image of Seyruun royal men! Today it was payback! The Department of Public Relations hadn't seen his face but because of his towering form they feared the worst. For today he had even gone out of his way to recreate his grandfather's ceremonial uniform.
'Perhaps they do have cause to fear…' Phil thought then laughed. He looked at himself in the mirror to make sure that all the proper accoutrements of prince hood were in their proper place. His magic was every bit as powerful as his father's in his prime and according to Uncle Gourry and Uncle Zangalus he could very well have given the two of them a run for their money in the old days.
His mother had bribed or otherwise threatened (with Aunt Lina's help!) many kingdoms into sending their daughters to his birthday party. Many more he knew were attending simply out of respect for his mother and father. He laughed as he looked up at grandfather Philionel's portrait and was suddenly struck with the desire to have him at his side today. He turned away as the door to his study opened.
"Son… it's time!" his father intoned seriously his smiling ever-cheerful mother walked in with him.
"Are you sure you don't want to walk in with us?" she asked unable to hide her disappointment at his choice of a more low-key entrance. He smiled and shook his head. His father nodded in approval and pulled Amelia away with him. Phil laughed as he heard his father's heavy sigh just before the trumpeters sounded the fanfare announcing the imminent arrival of the King and Queen. His father would always hate the heavy protocol and in that respect he was much like his father.
He left the study through a small secret door that would take him to a smaller staircase. He wanted this staircase because it allowed him to arrive at the back of the ballroom. The staircase was narrow which meant there would be no entourage to attempt to cover him. He smirked mischievously – much like his father did when he was about to pull a fast one on an opponent – as he prepared to descend into the ballroom.
He listened as the commotion of his mother and father's arrival died down and some of the women close to the stair case commented on how they wished this torment would be over already. He chuckled in a deep rumble that was very much like his father's. All eyes were turned to the balcony above the King and Queen where his entourage was waiting for him to arrive. Certain that his ambush was ready he walked out…
A single trumpeter near the bottom of the staircase saw him coming down. He stared for a moment in confusion as he watched the lone young man descend impressed by his regal and proud bearing. His eyes went wide suddenly when he spotted the Seyruun family crest on his jacket. Quickly he sounded the official fanfare and all eyes turned to the staircase. A complete hush fell upon the crowd as the fanfare ended…
Jaws dropped, women swooned and with more explosive power than Aunt Lina's Giga Slave the image of his grandfather Philionel was blasted away by his perfect smile. He reached up to flick his dark hair briefly away from his face and that simple action sent a ripple of swoons and giggles through the throng of women in the audience. Not even the giant painting of his grandfather that he requested to be placed on the side wall of the ballroom for just this occasion was able to diminish the effect.
Solemnly he walked through the parting crowd on his way alone towards the throne. His piercing blue eyes scanned the crowd occasionally nodding in acknowledgement to those who managed to keep some of their wits about them and greet him somewhat properly. From the corner of his eye he could see his sisters and all his brother-in-laws trying hard not to laugh. He stopped to hug his sisters then continued towards his mother and father.
Not a peep was heard from the crowd as the priest placed the circlet on his head. Phillip turned and smiled at the assembled crowd and as he opened his mouth to thank them in a deep sexy voice which was his inheritance as a Greywords several women hit the ground creating a loud thud as they hit simultaneously. It took the people around them several seconds to comprehend what had happened to the young women standing next to them. Even then they were too stunned to do anything…
Zelgadis watched with quiet amusement as his son managed to upstage the worrywart reps from PR who feared another Philionel fiasco. Slowly his smile grew as the stunned crowd watched unable to react. His son positively oozed charm and poise in the old school "princely" manner. Finally as half the female attendees hit the ground unconscious Zelgadis the very stoic Stone King did something he never did in public:
…HA…HA…HA…HA…HA…HA…HA…HA…HA…HA…HA…HA…HA…HA…HA…HA…HA…HA…HA…HA!
He threw his head back and laughed loud and freely. Amelia giggled softly next to him her handsome – no… handsome is too small a word to describe him but there is no other – son turned to her and winked at her. Aunt Lina signaled the band to start playing and soon enough a fight broke out as love-struck and starry eyed young women battled their way to the front of the line to get a chance to dance with the charming and handsome Prince Phil of Seyruun!
I had to write this after I watched my Slayers season one again. It is a sort of Ode to Philionel! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I hadn't watched it in a long time but I always loved how they made Phil to be the anti-thesis of the Prince stereotype!
Thanks for reading and reviewing