Chapter Sixteen: I Am Downright Indecent

I was a bit worried that Aubrey may feel left out or take offence if I didn't invite her to come as well, but as it turned out, her family had plans to visit an aunt in Somerset, and so she wouldn't have been able to come anyway. I decided to not mention my own plans beyond, "Oh, you know, family stuff too," because really, what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

Thus the only obstacle left in inviting Lily was actually inviting her. I chose to go about this in my usual manner with the charming Miss Evans.

Friday's Arithmancy class was as glorious as ever, now that Ackerman seemed sure that I was back to normal (er… back to myself, anyway) and he was no longer casting me wounded looks in between calculating the degenerative half-life of a radioactive Flobberworm.

Glorious. Really.

The bell for lunch went and I quickly gathered my things together, then waited until Lily glanced my way, caught her eye, and signalled for her to come over.

She gestured to her friend to go on without her, then met me by the doorway, a look of ever-present suspicion on her face.

I opened my mouth to begin, but she cut me off with a firm, "No."

I blinked, then scowled. "You don't even know what I was going to say!"

"You've got that determined look on your face, the same one you take on whenever Potter manages to convince you to have a part in another of his asinine schemes to get me to go out with him. And the answer is, as always, no," she concluded, with evident agitation.

I cocked a brow.

"I'll be sure to let him know. Incidentally, I think you should probably steer clear of the fourth floor prefect's bathroom for the next couple of days; James has been spending rather a lot of time lurking about there, and making Remus do research on some of the dodgier Cupidum charms in relation to toilet seats. I will never understand the way that bloke's mind works, I swear. Anyway, that isn't what I wanted to ask you," I finished, dryly.

Her face registered surprise and possibly a touch of confusion before her features rearranged themselves into a mask of polite interest. "Well. Yes?"

"Cracking. Have your things packed and ready for Tuesday morning. I'm allowed to bring a guest for the hols and you, m'dear, are the lucky victim."

She snorted, but regarded me curiously a moment before asking, "I'll have to meet your family, I suppose. And Potter will be there?"

"Yes, and yes, but we can double-check the toilet seats every time you need to use the loo. Or we can always lie and say you're really a Swedish exchange student called Elsa who is both completely androgynous and a lesbian. Shouldn't be too difficult to transfigure your hair and freckles."

She stared at me, then took on an expression that suggested she may be in a certain amount of pain. "I'm not even going to touch on the logic of my lacking in reproductive organs and still having a homosexual orientation… and will instead focus on the fact that you understand and are attempting to help. For which I thank you. I think."

"You're welcome. Any other questions, worries, objections?"

"Yes. When you say 'for the hols,' does that include New Years? Because I'm not kissing you at midnight."

"Of course not, you're a female eunuch, it'd be dead boring for you and my renowned snogging talents would go to waste. But yes, it does include New Years. Is that a problem?"

She shrugged. "Only trying to gather information for parental purposes. Still a minor in their eyes, you know. Speaking of—will there be drinking?"

"Lily. I am half-Irish. Contemplate that for a moment, then ask me again if there will be drinking and we'll see how silly you feel."

"No need to be snarky." She heaved a dramatic sigh. "Where do you live, then? I'll need to send my parents the address."

I grinned. Ah, sweet success.

We had wandered our way out into the hallway during the course of this conversation, walking along with the other students heading toward the Great Hall for lunch, and as I searched my bag for a bit of scrap parchment and a quill in order to write down my address for her, I heard somebody shout my name, their tone quite distressed.

I looked up and saw Sirius pushing his way through the crowd towards me, an odd, strained sort of expression on his face.

"Is he all right?" Lily asked over her shoulder—I was using her back as a surface on which to write.

"Doesn't look like it," I replied grimly, scribbling out my telephone number as well, as I knew her family were Muggles and so they might want to contact her that way instead. I folded the parchment and handed it to her, and she pocketed it with a murmured, "Thanks," her mildly concerned gaze fixed on a fast-approaching Sirius.

I turned just as he reached my side, standing quite close to me as if he needed the warmth, and his eyes flickered with uncharacteristic uneasiness over at Lily.

"I need to talk to you," he whispered urgently, his fingers closing over my elbow with an almost desperate grip.

Lily said immediately, "I'll see you later, yeah?" and then turned, disappearing into the crowd heading for the stairs.

"Erm… my Arithmancy class is empty," I said, gesturing to a door a short way down the hall.

He nodded once, swallowing hard, and slid his hand down my arm to grip my hand as we hurried back down the hall. His fingers were cold as ice and I absent-mindedly laced mine with his in an attempt to warm them. I couldn't recall ever seeing him this unsettled, except—

"Has something happened to Remus?" I asked, the minute the door was shut behind us. Full-moon had passed, but my suddenly fevered mind was plentiful with unthinkable possibilities at the strange, tortured light in Sirius' slate-grey eyes and what could have caused it. I was surprised to see a brief flash of hurt flit over his countenance.

"What's the matter?" I asked, my eyes widening helplessly.

In one fluid movement, Sirius had switched our positions so his back was against the door, and pulled me against his chest so suddenly and tightly I had to catch my breath.

Asking what was wrong again seemed stupid, but I did anyway, my own arms coming around his waist more slowly.

He still didn't answer, his head bent with his mouth pressed against my shoulder. He just breathed for a moment, then asked quietly, voice slightly muffled, "What are we?"

I blinked, attempting to lean back slightly in order to look at him, but he held fast. Curious as to where this insecurity that was rather out of character for him had come from, I thought about his question a moment. "Well… a couple, I would say, even if we've never made it official with words."

"Is that it, then?" Sirius said, his fingers at my hips digging in almost painfully.

I poked his side. "What do you mean, 'is that it'?"

"We used to be friends, too. You were my girly-mate."

"I didn't realise being your girlfriend cancels out all the rest," I said, my tone gentle but dry.

He was silent for a moment, then, "Do you know why I waited so long to snog you?"

"Because I made you blush and turn into a dithering idiot whenever I came near?" I suggested, then rested my head on his shoulder, deciding I was quite comfortable with this position.

It was his turn to poke me and I felt some of the tension leave him when he exhaled noisily. "Did it show that plainly?" he inquired, mock-aggrieved.

"As day." I lifted a hand to toy with his black silky hair which tickled my neck. "I could practically read your every naughty thought as you gazed covetously upon my gorgeous, unattainable bosom."

He laughed and I knew whatever it was bothering him was all right.

"Didn't think it was funny as all that," I muttered petulantly, though the corner of my lip curled up.

In another thrilling, liquid movement, he abruptly switched our positions again, so that my back was once more facing the door, this time with his body pressed up against mine—all of him.

Well. Hullo, there. Phew… was it getting hot in here?

His eyes, hooded and dark but glinting knowingly, were a few scant centimetres from mine and I had to resist letting myself go cross-eyed in order to see him properly.

"I waited so long to snog you for two reasons," he began, his voice low but matter-of-fact; his lips brushing mine as he spoke, as if by accident. "One, I wanted the moment to be right, because that's how it should be, like in all the books and films and whatever else. And two, there are plenty of girls in the world, but only one girly-mate and I know if I fucked it up, I would be fucked and not in quite the way I had in mind." His breath was feather-light on my face and smelled of toffees (which was somewhat of a bewilderment, as I happened to know he was allergic).

"Nnnyahh," I replied, swallowing deeply, unable to tear my eyes away from the pinkish-reddish blur that was his mouth, so close to mine and yet not bloody close enough. I let out a shaky breath. "Erm… so far so good, eh?"

"I think I'm in love with you," he told me, sounding almost accusatory, and looking more than a little upset about it.

I felt a slow, hot clutching somewhere inside me and my breath expelled in a rush; flashbacks of my afternoon with Remus zipping past in my mind. But Sirius had said the words, what else could he possible mean by them? And he was interested in me romantically and I had proof.

A faint tickle of hysteria started at the back of my throat, panic fluttering at the base of my spine and skittering upwards. I did the only thing I could think of.

I burst out laughing—though it sounded high-pitched and not a little mad.

Clutching his shoulders for support, I cackled loudly until tears sprung to my eyes. "HahahaaahaohmyGodyou'reserious," I blurted all in one breath, noticing the wounded look in his eyes with a jolt of shock. The laughter stopped at once.

He stared down at me, brows drawing together, gaze inscrutable. Then, without a word, he tilted his head and crushed his mouth to mine.

My head spun and I leaned into him eagerly and mindlessly, glad for something familiar, for ground we'd walked before, something solid and true. It was all hot, sliding wetness and crashing teeth, and I clung to him, reassuring myself with how real this was, under my hands and pinning me to the door.

His hands lost no time in finding their way under my skirt, sliding past my hips, pulling my robes up and bunching them around my waist; he cupped my bottom and hiked me abruptly upwards, so that his increasingly evident arousal was right between my legs. Feverishly kissing him, fisting my hands in the back of his robes, I hooked an ankle around his waist and pushed on his tailbone so that we came into direct contact but for the barrier of clothing, and he moved slowly, experimentally, both of us moaning breathlessly at the friction.

The fingers of his right hand slipped under the elastic of my knickers, and in a pathetically short amount of time, with pathetically few firm and determined strokes, he had me shuddering and incapable of coherent speech.

Blood wanker with his bloody clever fingers. Surely it wasn't supposed to take so short a t—

"Ohhh God… fuck!"

I rolled my hips in time with the movement of his hand, feeling the delirious mounting pressure already and dizzily panicking now too, because he was in love with me—he thought—and he could make me come with so little effort and God, I liked it. I wanted it this way. Ought I to have, though?

His eyes still boring into mine with that restless intensity, he said, a bit hoarsely, "Tia, I love you. Do you know how fucking weird this feels for me? But I do love you, and it hurts sometimes when I think of how much, and I need to know what you feel for me."

I was feeling quite a damn lot just then, but I made myself look at him, made myself breathe—and I panted, sounding choked and utterly exposed, "I've always loved you, you stupid sod. The blushes and dithering every time you came near, the gazing c-covetously upon your bosom—oh, oh fucking God, i Sirius /i !"

And I went blind to everything around me but his eyes, pushing my hips tight against him to prolong the shivery, pulsing heat that speared through me. Then, as that glorious weakness stole over me, I slid down the door, a wide, blissful grin on my face, eyes shut as I savoured the sensation.

When I opened them again, Sirius was still watching me intently, though the glint in his eye had returned.

"I made you blush, did I?" he said, sounding quite smug indeed.

I made a face. "No. Shut up, now, please."

Lifting my mouth to capture his again, I slipped my hand under his jumper and then his waistband to return the favour, and I felt the muscles low in his abdomen ripple and gather together at my touch. With a thrill, I broke the kiss so I could watch his eyes darken and slide out of focus; I was a bit disappointed when he let his head fall back with a groan, propping his hands against the door on either side of my head, and I wasn't able to see his eyes anymore.

At that precise moment, the door at my back swung open. With a shriek, I lost my balance and tumbled gracelessly backwards into the hallway, Sirius landing hard on top of me, causing us both to let out a breathless, "Ooof!"

Blinking my vision free of the stars that had appeared when I hit my head, I cursed in pain then looked slowly up at whoever had caught us… in the act, so to speak.

Lily stood with her hands on her hips next to Remus, both of them looking disparagingly down at us, though the latter's face was stained with colour and he had politely and stubbornly averted his eyes, which were fixed on my forehead.

"You were taking such a very long while," said Lily peremptorily, by way of explanation for her rude intrusion.

"We—aren't—finished—yet," I bit out with careful enunciation, maintaining perfect dignity despite the unimportant fact that my hand was still very much down Sirius' pants and pinned between us.

Sirius, for his part, had propped himself up on his elbows, and was regarding them both with an amiable expression. "D'you know, this sort of situation could be rather embarrassing if we let it."

Remus nodded his agreement, eyes now fixed politely on Sirius' forehead.

"So," Sirius continued reasonably, lifting his hips a bit so that I could remove my hand, and he bit his lip quite hard as I did so, "there's only one s-solution." His voice thickened as he lowered his hips back onto mine, his raging hard-on probably a tad uncomfortable, I thought.

"This is downright indecent," Remus whispered weakly to Lily, who nodded grimly, her own colour a bit high.

"Yes," I agreed with the boy lying on top of me, then tilted my head back to glare upside-down at the two rude Interrupters of Private Moments. "Get out of it."

"I think we will," Lily replied gravely, then turned on her heel and strode purposefully away, Remus following close behind.

"How does skiving off next period sound?" Sirius inquired of me, after a moment.

"I've got it free," I answered.

"Well." He breathed through his nose, his obvious discomfort increasing. "I'll skive off, and you can wait to not do your homework 'til tonight, like the rest of us."

"Black, your brilliance is astounding."

His shoulders slumped, and he dropped his face onto my chest, hips rocking forward once, as if in reflex. "Oh God, then please reward me already before I go mad," he pleaded, his voice muffled and rather adorably desperate.

I giggled. "Off we go, then."

He leapt to his feet, helped me up off the floor, and we ducked into the nearest secret passage, with the intention of finding the shortest route to an empty seventh year dormitory and then, luck providing, shagging like rabbits.

I loathed packing. It was my least favourite part of going home, right down there at the bottom of my list with "unpacking" and "holiday weight-gain."

My usual method amounted to opening my trunk, taking out everything school-related, then tossing in whatever I thought I might need that I didn't have another one of it home.

If I forgot something… well, I'd survive two weeks without it, or if I couldn't, then a trip to the shops would follow. Not a big deal. The lads packed pretty much the same way, all except Remus, who genuinely awed me sometimes with his organisational skills.

Lily, on the other hand, scared me with hers. She was quite literally mad over packing. She wrote lists; several of them. She had a list to keep track of all her lists. And after packing every item on those lists into her trunk, precisely and in an efficient, space-saving fashion (sodding terrified of this woman, I tell you; her and her near military-like order—I was rubbish at folding things and the whole mass-to-volume ratio was lost on me), she then had to take it all out again to make certain she'd remembered everything.

Like bloody Santa Claus, she was, making her lists and checking them twice.

Bugger. I'd break into song next. Still, first Christmas joke of the year—all at once, I found myself in the clutches of a vicious craving for Aunt Meg's rum cake. It truly was the season to be jolly.

Due to Lily's refusal to actually let me transfigure her into a lesbian Swede (her sole protest being, "I can't do the accent and if I'm going to bother with it, I'll do the thing properly"), it was a little difficult to hide from James the fact she was coming home with me.

As we went out into the chilly morning—having already bid farewell to those of our acquaintances not going home for Christmas at breakfast—and rode the carriages to Hogsmeade station where we then crunched through the snow coating the platform in order to find an empty train compartment, it became apparent to me that James suspected something, seeing as Lily was walking with me the whole way, instead of going off with the prefects or other friends.

But Lily insisted that she could handle him—she had been doing it for five-plus years, she'd gotten quite good at it, she told me. And so I chose to take her at her word and let her fend for herself, because I honestly couldn't be arsed with running around after them like an anal-retentive nanny, and anyway, I was very curious indeed to see how she would "handle" James, when they were stuck living together in the same house.

It was a bit fascinating to watch James' eyes gradually grow brighter and brighter as he "subtlely" stared at Lily all throughout the train-ride to London and she merely scowled in return. As realisation seemed to dawn, his expression could be described only as that of a child who's just been told that Christmas has come early.

Quite appropriate, for all that.

By the time the train had arrived at last at platform nine-and-three-quarters, James was positively glowing. Only his uncertainty that he wasn't, in fact, dreaming (I saw him jab Sirius in the ribs and ask this very question) kept him from hitting on Lily like nobody's business.

Or maybe that was just because both Lily and I would send him a quelling glare each time it looked like he was about to try. But who's for semantics when it's Christmas?

"Please tell me you've got your own bedroom? With a lock on the door, if the heavens choose to smile upon me just this once?" Lily whispered to me with fervent hope as we dragged our trunks down the narrow aisle, jostled by other students also trying to leave in a hurry.

"Oh yeah, don't worry about it, you'll have plenty of breaks from James. Nice long ones with the possibility of tea and gingerbread cookies. We can set a fixed time of day if you like," I offered, wrestling with my trunk to get it around the open door where Sirius was waiting to help me lift it to the ground.

"No, that isn't a good idea," Lily said darkly, with a shake of her head. "Too much regularity and he'll begin to notice a pattern. He may attempt to break in. Spontaneity and unpredictability are key if we're going to win this." She said all of this with a manic gleam in her eye, sounding a bit like a General planning her war tactics, and slapped the side of her fist into the palm of her other hand to emphasise her point.

I decided at that moment that if Lily did indeed see a fortnight spent in close company with James Potter as a matter of war, then my cousin had better get a new battle strategy.

Once we were all on the platform, bundled warmly in our Muggle clothing and our trunks safely at our feet, I said, my breath forming white puffs as I spoke, "Right, they usually meet me near the gate or on the other side, but it won't be hard to spot them if it's otherwise."

"I see my Mum!" Peter interrupted, pointing to a plump, fussy-looking blonde woman standing a few yards away, waving for his attention and clutching an enormous handbag.

Mrs. Pettigrew grated on my nerves, with her over-protective way with Pete and her needlessly fastidious mannerisms. But she didn't know I disliked her, so I raised a hand in greeting when she spotted me looking.

We all said goodbye to Pete and wished him a happy Christmas before he went off with his Mum, telling her happily of the events of the term past.

I wrapped my scarf more securely around my neck and said, "Let's start toward the gate, you lot, they aren't anywhere this far down the platform."

"What do your parents look like?" Lily wondered aloud curiously.

"You'll know when they see us," Sirius told her cryptically, before I could get a word in.

I didn't add anything to this statement, because it actually summed up the truth rather well.

Remus said, "I think I see mine," and I turned to follow the direction of his gaze, over the top of my head. Sure enough Dr. and Mrs. Lupin were standing near the conductor's office, chatting pleasantly with…

"Oh God," said James and I simultaneously. Sirius merely went a sickly, pale-green colour and stopped dead in his tracks.

"What? Who? What?" Lily demanded, clearly not pleased with being the only one in the dark about something.

Remus cleared his throat, scratching under his nose as if to hide a smile.

"She said… nothing to get worked up about… a few relatives… dirty rotten liar…" I spoke faintly, staring in mild horror at the woman currently laughing uproariously with her head tossed back at whatever Dr. Lupin had just said, and telling from his alarmed expression, it hadn't been meant to be taken in quite such a humorous manner.

"Prongs… Prongsy… I don't wanna go anymore…" Sirius groped blindly for James' hand, his expression and tone similar to my own.

"What is everyone seeing that I'm not?" Lily burst out, staring squint-eyed in the direction the rest of us were, her gaze flitting around without settling on anything specific.

It was at that moment the woman who was now hugging tiny Mrs. Lupin with as much amity to suggest they were practically sisters (to my knowledge, they'd only just now met) looked over and emitted an ear-splitting shriek of delight when she spotted us there.

"Robbie! Robert, they're here!" she cried shrilly, waving a crimson-tipped hand, her hair—which had been the same shade and texture as mine the last time I'd seen her, but was now a much brighter blonde and curled to within an inch of its life—bouncing with each excited movement. She tottered over to us on ten-centimetre heels—Good Christ, was that powder-blue fur on her boots?—, her footsteps tiny and quick due to the skin-tight, bum-in-a-vice, ski pants she wore.

"My schnookums!" she gushed, flinging her arms around me and engulfing me in a surprisingly flat chest—considering—and a cloud of Chanel perfume.

"Aunt Deirdre," I returned, with a frozen smile and poorly attempted enthusiasm.

"Oh, okay," Lily said, sounding satisfied now.

Aunt Deirdre squeezed me 'til I thought she'd snap me in half, then kissed me and pinched my cheek with wholly unnecessary exuberance, before turning to the three lads and repeating the whole process, with no less rapturous glee. James and Sirius both looked half scared to death, while Remus seemed a bit uncomfortable, but took it all in stride rather admirably.

"You are not allowed to hold this against me, I had no idea," I hissed to Lily, the moment I'd got the feeling back in my ribs.

"You had no idea, what?" she asked distractedly, watching with evident amusement as Sirius, the Leaping Wonder, didn't quite escape getting his arse pinched by my Aunt Deirdre, who then moved on to attack her schnookerdoodle (more commonly known as James) with another suffocating hug.

I just looked on in resignation as a gigantically tall, bespectacled madman came rushing out of the conductor's office, bushy black moustache and all, then bounded towards us at another ecstatic plea from Aunt Deirdre.

He promptly grabbed Lily from behind, lifted her off her feet, twirled her around twice, then set her back down, booming, "Bet you fifty pence I can tell what you had for breakfast in that skirt!"

Lily promptly spun round and brought her knee up between his legs, shrieking, "Shove off, you wanking perv!"

And it was at that moment when it really began to feel like Christmas.

"Lily," I said serenely, feeling like my safest bet would be to just turn tail and run 'til I could run no more, "meet my Uncle Robbie, James' dad. Uncle Robbie, this is Lily Evans, James' future sexcapade partner, who's going to stay with us all holiday long. Trot off, you two, and get to know each other better. Loads in common, you both read books; fast friends for life, I just know it. Remus, I'm coming with you to Florence. Let's be off."

I started off in the direction of Remus' parents, who I decided right then and there were a pair of genuinely gorgeous and brilliant people, with every intention of moving in with them and absolutely refusing to leave, ever—I was even prepared to stage a hunger protest, should such a thing it become necessary. There was no way I was putting myself through this stress when the holidays were supposed to be a time for rest, relaxation and revelry.

James and Sirius each caught one of my elbows, however, and started to drag me backwards, the latter hissing in my ear, "If you think you're letting me go this alone, you're mad!"

I thought he was probably right on that last point. I didn't put up much of a struggle after that, anyway, when I knew exactly where it would hurt the most to hit them and could have easily got away. Instead, I let out a forlorn sigh and allowed myself to be carted off to my doom.