To Be Alone
Post Ep: Noel (Season 2)
Donna sat in a hard plastic chair at the foot of the gurney, while the emergency room doctor removed pieces of glass from Josh's right hand.
"Not much left," the doctor declared, as he irrigated the wound.
Josh groaned in response. He was looking kind of faint and sick, in Donna's opinion.
Before the doctor could start the next one, a nurse ran into the curtained-off bay and announced, "Dr. Hoffman, they need you in Trauma 2! A stabbing, ETA 2 minutes!"
"Excuse me," the doctor removed his gloves, and exited through the gap in the curtain.
Josh lay back on the gurney. He was still quite pale, and sweating slightly. He looked terrible. Donna couldn't bear to see him like this. She stood up and walked over to his side.
"Almost done," she tried cheerfully.
Josh didn't respond. He was looking straight ahead, his eyes fixed on nothing in particular. She slid her right hand into his free left hand. It was clammy. A siren rang out, announcing the arrival of the ambulance. The hallway beyond the curtain was a flurry of activity. Josh clutched Donna's hand tightly. She squeezed back. Gradually, the siren faded, and the hallway calmed. Josh did not.
"Hey…" Donna soothed, running her hand into his hair at the back of his head. He jumped slightly at the first, unexpected touch, but then relaxed against her hand. "It's okay, its okay…" Come on, Josh. Come back to me.
He took a deep breath and turned to look at her, slowly releasing the vice grip hold he had on her hand. "I just need to go home."
"I know. I know. Soon."
"This was a bad idea."
"This was not a bad idea. That cut needed to be looked at."
"Looking at it was exactly what I've been trying to avoid doing—"
"Exactly my point—"
"—but with it propped up in front of me here, I can't avoid it."
"Josh…"
"It was fine. I wrapped it."
"And what was your bandage of choice? An old ruined shirt? Josh, it was bound to get infected—"
"It—"
"—if you didn't change the bandage."
"I could have changed the bandage at home."
"You wouldn't have."
"You would have."
Touche. She would have. He was right. If Leo hadn't insisted she take Josh to the emergency room, she probably would have just taken him home and re-bandaged it herself. She probably would have tried to convince him to get it check professionally after she saw it, at which time it would be a mute point because he'd be home already, and she'd have much less sway.
They were both quiet for a minute. Donna could tell he saw the recognition in her face with his last comment.
"Josh, there was still glass in the cut. I could have done a decent job cleaning it up with some bactracin and big bandaids, but I couldn't get all of that out, and you know that."
"The noise is driving me crazy."
"I know," Donna sighed. "I should have taken you to the clinic."
"I didn't think of it either," Josh admitted, letting out a big yawn.
"Did you sleep at all last night?"
"Not really. Sleep has been elusive for some time."
"You should try to rest a little now."
"That's not going to happen here with—"
"Try—"
"—all the noise. No, I'm not going to try."
"Why not?"
"Because its futile…its just going to stress me out more to try."
Donna nodded. It was hard to see him so downtrodden.
"Donna, I'll sleep tonight. When I get home. Really."
At that moment, Dr. Hoffman walked through the door.
"Sorry for the interruption, Mr. Lyman. Where were we?" He pulled on a fresh pair of gloves from the box on the wall, and came over to the gurney. Donna slipped her hand out from behind Josh's head, and started for her chair, but Josh caught her hand in his and she stayed where she was. He glanced at her with a look of thanks, and squeezed her hand tightly.
Donna brought the car to a stop outside Josh's apartment. He had fallen asleep on the ride back from the ER. That had answered the question for her of whether she was going to come in and make sure he got settled. She pulled the keys out of the ignition, and got out of the car, crossing around to the passenger side. Opening the door, she gently nudged Josh, who startled slightly upon waking.
"Hey, sleepy head. Get up."
Donna offered her hand and Josh took it, coming unsteadily to his feet. As she led him to the door, Donna couldn't help but notice the front window with the piece of plastic over it, where he had put his hand through. They reached the top of the stairs, and Josh fumbled around in his coat pocket for his keys.
"Don't worry, I've got it," Donna announced, and found the correct key on her chain.
"I forgot you still had that."
Donna had had a key to Josh's apartment ever since Roslyn. Often when she came to visit him or bring him lunch, especially shortly after the surgery, he'd be asleep and she'd let herself in.
"You'd be lost if I didn't."
Since, it had come in handy when Josh sent her to his place to pick up things he forgot.
"Oh?"
"Uh, Donna, can you swing by my apartment and pick up—"
"Yeah, yeah," Josh smirked.
Donna pushed open the door and they went inside. His apartment was a mess, like usual. She had tidied it up a bit when she was there every day earlier in fall, but it had gone back to its usual state of clutter. Throwing h is coat across the kitchen table, Josh flopped onto the middle of the couch, and flicked on the TV. Donna picked up his coat and hung it on the coat rack that he had walked right by, along with her own.
"Have you eaten?" she asked, knowing full well he hadn't.
"I'm fine."
"You didn't answer my question."
"If you're hungry, there's a frozen pizza in the freezer. I think…"
Donna walked over to the fridge and opened the top. "Nope."
"Oh, well. Whatever you find is fair game."
Donna rummaged through his pantry. This man had hardly any food in his home, a testament to eating take out seven days a week. She found some cereal, and opened the fridge, not really expecting to find any milk. She was pleasantly surprised, and poured herself a bowl of the Cocoa Puffs. Leave it to Josh to have no food in his cupboard except for a box of Cocoa Puffs.
"Josh, do you want some cereal?"
"Nah."
"Josh."
"I'll have a few bites."
She sat down beside him on the couch and ate her cereal. His remained untouched as he stared at the television. She placed her empty bowl down, and picked up his.
"Hungry?" he smirked.
Donna filled the spoon full and brought it over to his mouth.
"What are you? My mother?
"Just eat it."
Josh did as he was told. They repeated the action until the entire bowl was gone. Donna brought the bowls back out to the kitchen and put them in the sink. As she returned, Josh's eyes are drooping.
"You should go to bed."
"Yeah."
He didn't move.
"Come on," Donna walked over to him. He was looking at the hole in the window. She sat beside him. "How long till that gets fixed?"
"Probably two more days. No one's going to come out on Christmas."
"Oh yeah." Christmas. With everything going on, Donna had forgotten that it was Christmas. All Christmas festivities were more or less done. She and Josh had exchanged small gifts and she'd gotten a few presents mailed from her parents.
"What are you doing for Christmas?" Josh asked, through a yawn.
"Nothing. My roommate left yesterday to go visit her parents in Philly."
"Awww, you shouldn't be alone," Josh turned to her with the sweetest look she'd seen on his face in a long time. "You'll have to celebrate with me, the way all good Jews celebrate Christmas…with Chinese food and the movies."
"Sounds like a plan. Bed time, come on."
Josh stayed put, leaning back against the couch, letting his eyes close.
"You can barely stay awake."
He didn't argue, just tipped to the side, so that his head was on her shoulder. She smiled.
"Josh."
"Just a little more basketball."
His eyes were closed, so he couldn't see that the basketball was over and the local news was on now. Donna put her arm around his shoulders, bringing him down to lay on her lap. He wanted to sleep so badly, but more than anything, he just didn't want to be alone. He'd never admit it. She sighed and clicked the lamp off, throwing her feet up on the coffee table, and wiggling down to a quasi laying position. She'd be there for him as long as he needed. Even if he didn't know he needed it.
FIN