AUTHOR: Goddess Isa
EMAIL: [email protected]
SUMMARY: Buffy's daughter has issues on her wedding day. This fic sorta sucks, but Tam did say to write anything, so....
SPOILER: Nothing *really* I mean, if you've watched the show at all, you know the general gist and that's enough for this fic!
DISTRIBUTION: Sandee, of course - My site - http://planetslaythis.homestead.com - Crystal and Butterfly if they want it - A Soul's Redemption - Anyone else - sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =)
FEEDBACK: Please, I'd hate to have to Slay for it. =P
RATING: TV-14
DISCLAIMER: Okay, Amanda, Jessica, Damien, Kendra Lynn and Arrica are mine. Everyone else belongs to Joss and except for Xander, he can keep them g 'Mandy' belongs to Barry Manilow & 'I Will Always Love You' is chopped up pretty badly and sung by Whitney Houston in this story.
I have always regarded myself as a relatively sane person. For a girl who was stripped of her high school and college existence to Slay the undead and other Hellbeasts, I'd say I've done damn well. I've got a wonderful husband, two beautiful daughters, and a fabulous home and career as a dance teacher. Life, as they sometimes say, is perfect.
I lost all my sanity today though. No, I take that back. Sanity left weeks ago when I began planning my daughter's wedding.
The need for Prozac is what I have today, because I am throwing a fit.
The wedding day is here. I've waited for this day since she was born, twenty-one years I've been planning this so it would be perfect for her. We came so close. The church was decorated beautifully, everyone came on time and dressed accordingly, there was only one problem.
The bride was absent.
"She'll be here Mom," Jessica tried to assure me. "She loves Michael."
I wasn't so sure. I knew that Amanda cared for him, a great deal even, but was it enough to marry him? Was it enough to pledge to spend your entire lives together in front of God and everyone? I just don't think she'll ever do it, she's never been the type to commit. A once-a-week acting class was too much of a commitment for Amanda Leighanna to handle. And even though she's my daughter, and I love her, I'd like to throttle her right now.
"Mom, relax," Jessie said, putting her hand on my shoulder. "Breathe. She'll be here." she adjusted in her dress. "Soon, I hope. This damn thing itches."
*****
I'm supposed to be getting married right now.
I can marry Michael and be appeased. Content, maybe. He's a nice guy, caring, sweet. He's got a good job and he really loves me.
I wish I felt the same.
I mean, I do feel that way. I have this intense feeling of never-ending love for a man. It's just not him.
Before I got engaged, before Michael and I even met, there was Damien.
Cordelia and Xander named him after the doctor who saved his life. Damien Kristoff Harris. I remember being seven years old and thinking that was the most beautiful name on this Earth. I've loved him since we were five.
We're the same age, born just two weeks apart (I'm older! Ha!). Our parents have always been best friends, so it just made sense that we were always together. We used to build forts in my backyard and play video games in his rec room. I thought he was gross when we were little. In junior high, I thought he was cute. In ninth grade, I wanted him to take me to my first dance. When we were seventeen, we lost our virginity together in the back of his van.
It was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. I can't imagine something better, even though all my friends claim sex gets better and better every time you do it. Damien was like mine after that. We spent three wonderful months dating in secret.
Then I met Michael.
I shouldn't have been impressed by his money, or the BMW he drove, or the mansion that made Cordelia's parent's house look like a shack. But for some ass-backwards reason, I was. Damien aspired to be a teacher. A simple career, simple salary, simple life. We could live off it, of course, but not the way I wanted to. I wanted enchantment, elegance. And when Michael offered me all that and more with the price of my hand in marriage, I did the foolish thing and said yes.
For some dumbass reason, I thought I could grow to love him. That I could get to a point where he was the one I saw in my dreams. The problem was, when I looked at Damien, I saw love, and when I looked at Michael, I saw dollar signs.
I wouldn't even be sitting here now, I'd be married, if it wasn't for the other night. I was closing up my mother's school for her as I always did on Wednesdays and Damien showed up.
He didn't say a word. He just went over to the piano and began playing.
//I remember all my life
Raining down cold as ice
Shadows of a man
A face through a window cryin' in the night
The night that goes into
Morning just another day
Happy people pass my way
Looking in their eyes
I see a memory
I never realized how happy you made me
Oh Mandy well
You came and you gave without taking
But I sent you away
Oh, Mandy well
You kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today
Oh, Mandy!\\
After he finished, he just got up and left. That was it. He sang and he disappeared.
I couldn't believe he did that for me. I'd never heard him sing before, and he really had talent. If I hadn't been so busy wondering what the Hell I was going to do about my life, I would've chased after him for the sake of telling him to switch his major to music.
The song was sort of reversed though - I'd walked away from him, hadn't I? I was the one who broke it off. Or was it? Maybe he really was to blame, because he wanted our relationship kept a secret?!
I'm so confused now. I haven't seen Michael or Damien in three days. My wedding was over twenty minutes ago and I'm standing in the middle of my mother's dance studio in my wedding gown trying to dance without snagging the lacey skirt. ` I've done barre work, pirouettes and even a couple routines, and still, I don't know what to do.
*****
I *love* Mandy. I really do. I know I'm the only person ever to call her by a nickname, and I think that makes her all the more special to me.
I've always hated that damned Barry Manilow song, but I'll do just about anything to get her back. For good.
If I had only been up front, told her earlier how I felt, maybe I'd be the one up at the aisle waiting for her to join me in marriage.
Of course, if I were up there, I wouldn't have an annoyed look on my face as I checked my watch every five seconds.
Then it hit me.
Mandy is thirty-one minutes later. For her wedding.
"Always act on impulse," Mandy once told me. "You might not get another chance."
I heard her voice in my head as I sprinted out the door and down the back hall. I didn't even really hear my parent's voices, though I know they both called me.
I knocked first, 'cause I *am* a gentleman. Even though I'm a uber-jerk, I have manners.
*****
"Who could that be?" Willow asked when someone knocked on the door.
"Amanda?" Buffy asked hopefully.
"She wouldn't knock on the door to her own dressing room, Mom." I said. "Come in," I called.
Damien entered and looked at all of us, standing or sitting, nervously doing something meaningless like doodling in a diary or tying knots in a piece of ribbon from our bouquet.
"He is hot," Kendra Lynn said. "Great ass."
I rolled my eyes. Just like her mother.
"It would probably be stupid to ask you if you were out looking for her, huh?" Arrica, her maid of honor, asked.
"Did they send you in here to find out what the hold up is?" Mom asked. "'Cause if they did--"
"Um, no. Actually, they haven't said a word, though Michael looks a bit preturbed. It's just that.....I think I know where Mandy--where Amanda is."
My eyes widened and I stared at him. Everything was coming into place in my mind now. Amanda was in love with *Damien*!! It all makes so much sense now. She's been humming that horrendous 'Mandy' song around the house for days now, and I saw her sign an email 'Mandy' the other day. Plus, when I was snooping around in her dresser for her new glitter socks, I found a note that said "To Mandy - forever and longer, I will love you." At first I thought nothing of it, but now....wow!
"Go!" I ordered him. "Go now."
"Wait," Mom said, frantic. "Where is she? How can you be sure she's there?"
"Just go!" I shouted.
He took one look at me and I think I communicated volumes with my eyes because he sprinted out of here like Oz sprints around his cage when he's a werewolf.
"Jessica Colleen, why on Earth did you do that?" Mom asked.
"I can't stand in the way of true love, Mom. You of all people should know that."
*****
Amanda was dancing when Damien got there.
It was as though the number had just started, and even in her gown, she managed to flow like an angel.
//If I should stay
I would only be in your way
So I'll go
But I know
I'll think of you every step of the way
And I will always love you
I will always love you
I
Will always
Love you
I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you've dreamed of
And I wish you joy
And happiness
But above all this
I wish you love\\
The song ended and as Amanda finished, she saw him standing there. He began clapping and she just shook her head as she looked at him.
"Damien. What are you doing here?"
"You look beautiful."
She blushed, then smiled at him. "Damien, you have to leave. I'm getting married."
He shook his head. "No, not to Michael."
"Yes. I....I love Michael?"
He almost smirked. "Why do you sound like you're trying to convince yourself of that instead of making a statement to me?"
"I hate you," they neared each other. "You know that?"
"I do. Always have. Kiss me now?"
"Uh-huh."
~~~
I didn't say it made sense!!! Feedback would be nice anyways though g