Pairing - Yami no Yuugi/Yami no Malik/Yami no Bakura
Rating/Warnings - R! I cannot stress this enough! There is no sex, but this is still pretty blatant, so please, please, please do not proceed unless you can handle it. There are naughty words and naughty notions, but again, there is no sex.
Notes - I don't normally write yamishipping, but Daimeryan Rei requested this fic, so here it is.
"This is all your fault, you know," Yami no Bakura grumped, wiping at something sticky on his skin. His hair was more mussed than usual, eyes tired and bloodshot, but despite his moody words and disheveled appearance, his grin showed exactly how pleased he was.
"Mine?" The once-Pharaoh looked miffed, but that was one of his few facial expressions, so he didn't take it personally.
"Yes, you. And if it weren't for Yami no Malik knowing…"
"It's Malik," he snapped, giving the thief a glare. "Omote no jinkaku isn't worthy of the name. I'm the real Malik."
Yami no Bakura rolled his eyes. He had never much cared about how the others wished to be addressed, but he was in a good mood, so he decided to humor the boy. "If it weren't for Malik knowing the location of a convenient hot spring, we'd both be jammed into your tiny shower right now."
"We could have taken turns."
Yami no Bakura stopped dead, causing the once-Pharaoh to walk into him. Turning to fix him with a patented "don't fuck with the thief" glare, he hissed, "You're the one who started this whole thing, and then decided you were too good for us and had to pull out every single time…"
Yami no Yuugi's cheeks flared bright red, and the reaction caused Yami no Bakura to go silent for all of thirty seconds. Then he threw his head back and laughed.
"I'm going to play hockey with your head," Yami no Malik muttered.
The other two ignored him.
"And you were the one begging for us to pull out, panting about how much you liked it all over your skin, especially on your—"
"Shut up!" the Pharaoh squeaked, sounding like he had just hit puberty.
"And of course we can't mess up your precious sheets by sleeping in your bed, so you insisted we clean up before passing out, and Little Miss Muffet over there…"
"…choke the life out of you and carve you into pancakes…"
"…refuses to cram into that tiny shower cabin of yours. But of course, I do prefer hot springs Myself, so it works out quite nicely for Me."
"My shower cabin is not tiny." The Pharaoh sniffed, looking, if possible, even more annoyed and self-righteous than normal.
"Whatever you say," Yami no Bakura replied indulgently, starting down the path again. He didn't seem the least bit self-conscious of his nudity, nor did Yami no Malik, but Yami no Yuugi was continually looking around as if expecting people to pop out of the trees and point and laugh at any moment.
As they caught up to Yami no Malik, they caught more of his mumblings.
"You know," Yami no Bakura said conversationally, "I was rather surprised that you continued to say such things during sex, though really I shouldn't have been."
Violet eyes flashed murderous intentions at Yami no Bakura, and he spat, "Your intestines would look so pretty wrapped around a Christmas tree."
"What do you know about Christmas?" Yami no Yuugi asked, tone deceptively innocent.
"I'm not a sheltered little bint like you. You don't so much as piss without Yuugi's permission."
Yami no Yuugi's expression resembled a fish out of water.
"And you're much smaller than I am, so you really should just shut up and stop causing problems for us."
"I am not!" Drawing himself to his full, unimpressive height, the once-Pharaoh leveled the Egyptian with an icy Pharaoh stare. However, its effects went to waste, as Yami no Malik has already turned away and sped up his pace.
Snickering softly to himself, Yami no Bakura followed, quickly growing less interested in their destination and more interested in the sexy tanned backside he couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from. Quickly catching up with the Egyptian, he grabbed him roughly by the shoulders and spun him around, grinning.
"What the hell…? I wonder how your eyeballs taste…"
Somehow unsurprised at the comment, Yami no Bakura leaned up and smashed his lips against Yami no Malik's, forcing his tongue into his mouth and pushing him back against a tree. The Egyptian squirmed, likely more to be troublesome than from any real desire to get away, so the thief quickly turned him around, pinning his arms behind his back.
"You're in too much of a hurry," he purred, running a tongue along a tanned neck, flicking over the rapid pulse. White hair tickled along Yami no Malik's skin as the thief nuzzled him. "We'll get there soon enough."
"Hey, what about me!" the once-Pharaoh demanded, as petulant as a child denied a sweet.
"I'll gut you with a broken rake…"
"Oh will you give it a rest?"
Yami no Yuugi put his face in his hand. "We're never going to get clean."