Nightmares
Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar, though I so wish that I did.
I started writing this story a long time ago, but after I saw the new episode 'The Avatar State', last Friday, I just had to continue it. I tried to play into the nightmares that Aang was having, and expand upon Katara being there for him. I love these two together, and I can't wait for Tomorrow's epidode, 'The Cave of Two Lovers'. Though I have a feeling that they are going to cut the two off right before anything good happens and we're going to be left with awkward moments for an episode or two. It seems to be a pattern with shows, you can't let couples be happy together until the very end of the series, if at all.
Regrettably this one-shot is more AK friendship than romance, but I hope to get a romance fic up soon.
So on with the story…
ZZZ
The smell of freshly laundered linens permeated her nose as she lazily rolled over with a sigh. It wasn't often that she got to sleep in a real bed, let alone one as nice as the soft down filled one that she was reclining on now. Beautiful sheer white curtains danced in the warm breeze wafting through the window and she smiled as the same wind brushed across her face. The hint of flowers was carried on the breeze, giving the room such as soft comforting scent that she felt herself once again being lulled to sleep, but a sudden frightened whimper shook all thoughts of sleep from her mind. Sitting up quickly, her back ramrod straight, she turned to the boy sleeping curled up in a ball next to her. He was having another nightmare; she could read the signs of it as clearly as she could read her own language, and from the furrows forming on his forehead, this was a bad one.
"Aang," she murmured, as she disentangled herself from the sheets and crawled to his side, "Wake up it's just a dream." Placing her hands on his shoulders she gave him a light shake, he began to rouse from his troubled slumber and she could see already that she was going to be spending the rest of the night awake. He was moving lethargically, and each small motion was as jerky as an infants first steps; with silent determination, the boy sat up, his face turned from her to hide the shame of waking her with yet another one of his bad dreams. Slender arms wrapped around him and pulled him towards her, she was used to his behavior by now; he hated that she knew about his nightmares, it embarrassed him that he couldn't deal with it on his own, and they had been getting increasingly worse since they had left the Earth Kingdom base nearly a week before.
Sokka grunted and mumbled something from the far side of the giant bed that they had all passed out on a few hours before, and Katara shook her head at him with disdain. He had no idea how much Aang's nightmares tortured him, he wasn't even aware that the young Avatar had nightmares, from the time he fell asleep to the time he would awaken the next morning, he was dead to the world. But she supposed that it was for the best, if Aang was uncomfortable with her knowing about his nightmares than she was sure that he would be completely mortified with the older boy knowing. A whimper left his lips and slowly his face turned towards her, burying itself into her shoulder; her arms tightened around him as she cradled him to her chest, she could feel hot tears beginning to turn the front of her pale blue robes navy.
Tenderly she rested her head atop his and began to run a hand along his back in slow circles. It was times like this when she wished for nothing more than the ability to take away all of his pain, she would gladly sacrifice her ability to water bend for him to have a chance at a normal childhood. But the point was moot, he was the Avatar; savior of the world, bringer of peace, bridge to the spirit world, and everyone's last hope. He had no chance to be normal, he was born different; some would say gifted, but sometimes she wondered if it wasn't more like a curse than a gift. She had personally seen his Avatar Spirit rip him apart more times than she could count, and he hadn't even begun to learn earth bending yet. How would he survive to adulthood with the weight of the world already crushing him into the ground?
"Shh," she crooned, nuzzling her face against his brow, "Its okay. I'm here, nothings going to get you now."
Burrowing his face into the pillow, Sokka tried to reclaim sleep; truth be told, the young monk's piteous noises almost always woke him, but he never let it show. His sister always moved so quickly to their friend's side, she knew just what to do to settle the young man. It always felt like such a private moment between the two, that he felt mildly ashamed to be intruding upon it. At these moments when Aang's true weakness became evident, and he saw his sister become more than just the boy's best friend, but more like the mother that he had lacked when he was growing up at the Southern Air Temple.
She had become such a dynamic part of the young Avatar's life, forcing herself to conform to whatever type of support he needed; she was his best friend, his mother, his teacher, his shoulder to cry on, the one person that always believed in him, and as of late she had also become the object of his affection. It amazed him how one person could so easily fill the role of so many, yet she did it and didn't think twice about it. Suppressing the sigh that would signal that he was in fact awake, he snuggled deeper into the pillow and fell quickly to sleep, leaving his sister to do what she did so well.
Provide comfort.
Continuing to rock the young man in her arms back and forth she began to sing softly, her voice as flowing as the waves she commanded. Almost as soon as the calming sound began to spill from her lips, he began to relax into her arms. It was always her voice that drew him back after his worst nightmares left him lost in his own insecurities. The simple act of her singing a childhood lullaby that her mother had always sang for her was enough to chase away even his most monstrous doubts. The sheer immensity of her belief in him was seemingly transmitted straight to him by the words she sang in her people's ancestral language. When he had been young, he had learned enough about ancient languages from the monks to know that she was singing him a slow ballad about one of his past lives, but that was all he knew.
The rest of the words simply blended together in an almost ethereal way that gave her voice the distinct sound of wind whistling against an ocean side cliff.
"What is that sound?" a young boy of only five asked the elder monk beside him.
The man smiled as he gazed out at the ocean that stretched from the base of the cliff on which they stood all the way to the distant horizon. "That is the sound of the wind spirit singing to the sea."
"Really!" the child asked excitedly as he looked up at the man with grey eyes full of wonder.
Sitting down slowly the man began to speak, "Do you want to know the legend of why the wind sings to the sea?"
The boy climbed onto the monk's lap, nodding his head excitedly. The man chuckled slightly at the child's enthusiasm and began to speak his melodic voice blending seamlessly with the song of the wind spirit, "It is said that the sea is the child of the moon and ocean spirits, it is smaller than its father ocean, and is still subject to the phases of its mother moon. But long ago when the world was still young and the first Avatar, an Airbender like you and I, was just beginning her rein, it is said that the wind spirit fell in love with the sea."
"But air and water don't mix," the little boy said confusedly, as he looked up at the man questioningly.
"That is where you are wrong, young Aang," the man smiled, his eyes settling on the horizon, "Water and air are constantly present within each other, air contains water vapor, and in turn, air is part of what makes up water." The little boy nodded in understanding and the man continued, "Well, father ocean and mother moon wanted to be sure that the wind spirit truly loved the sea, so they gave him a task to complete before they would willingly grant him permission to pursue the sea. They told him that if he could win the sea over with his voice then they would allow him to court the sea, but this presented a problem, the only voice the wind had was a menacing howl that he used during the worst of storms."
"What happened next Gyatso?" Aang asked in a hushed voice, as if afraid that if he spoke any louder that the monk would not finish the tale.
"The wind searched for years to find a place where his howl could become song, and what he found was these cliffs, overlooking the very sea that he loved." The monk had a sad smile on his face as he continued, "But the sea was afraid of the affection that the wind felt for her, even thought she returned it wholeheartedly. So she never responded, and 'til this very day the wind still sings to her, hoping that if he bides his time, one day she will respond to him."
"That's silly," the boy said with a huff as he crossed his arms over his chest, "The wind should just give up if the sea is so scared."
"You may think that this is silly now young one," Gyatso wrapped his arms around the boy in a fatherly hug, "But one day you will meet someone whom you would willingly wait eternity for, and then you'll understand."
Slowly the last notes of the song faded from the air, leaving the two in complete silence. Dull grey eyes were locked on the white linens covering the bed and blue eyes closed softly as her cheek rubbed gently against his head.
This was often how things would continue after he had settled from his nightmare; a silence would settle over them as she would continue to cuddle his prone form caringly. He didn't move, barely breathed, and never made any motion to speak, he simply lay there in her arms, drinking in her comforting warmth as if it was the one thing in the entire world that he could count on. But his complete and utter stillness, surprisingly, didn't bother her at all, it instead let her know that everything would be alright come morning. And shortly before daybreak, they would rise, and begin their day as if nothing had happened.
This, however, was not how this night was destined to play out.
"Katara," he whispered, being careful to keep his voice low so as not to wake Sokka, "That song you were singing… what does it mean?"
A blush spread prettily across her cheeks and she found herself grateful that he couldn't see her face, "It's a song about a past Avatar who saved the Southern Tribe a long time ago. The chieftain was so grateful that he offered him his daughter's hand in marriage to the Avatar, but as the Avatar was an Airbender he couldn't accept. Back then there were some really strict laws concerning marriages between the nations, and since the daughter was a Waterbender the sages of the Air Nomads and the Water Tribes believed that no good could come of the union." She chuckled dryly, "It's a really depressing song, I have no idea why my mother always sang it to me."
"Well it sounds pretty," he yawned, tilting his head back so he could look into her eyes.
"I guess you're right," a small smile graced her full lips, "I love to sing it because the words flow so well, I guess that's why my mom always sang it too."
A brief awkward moment passed between the two as all talking once again ceased. The regular calm just didn't seem to appear for them, and both were fidgeting slightly, unsure of what to do next. Grey and blue eyes stayed locked as they remained in their uncomfortable trance, until a sudden grunt from Sokka's sleeping form as he rolled over broke their intense and confused trains of thought.
"Let's go for a walk," Katara said softly, as she tugged at Aang who was still in her arms, "The full moon is really beautiful tonight, we should enjoy it."
Aang nodded, looking at her questioningly as he followed her out of the room and down the halls of King Bumi's palace. Moments later the pair stepped out into one of the palaces many gardens, the moonlight illuminating the foliage brightly. Sighing, the young Waterbender walked out into the middle of the garden and turned her face heavenward; her eyes were closed gently and her lips parted into a serene smile as the moonlight washed over her. The transformation was instantaneous and miraculous, one second she looked like she was so tired that she could easily sleep for years, and the next she looked ready to take on the entire world.
Aang smiled slightly at her as she reveled in the light cascading down upon her; she always seemed so completely at peace when she was out during a full moon and a little bit of her calm couldn't help but wash over him. Sitting down heavily in the lush grass he watched her spin around a few times, her arms stretched out at her sides and her face still turned to the moon. She almost looked otherworldly, and he couldn't help but watch as she began to dance around the garden, skipping around the glassy pond in the center as big droplets of water pulled away from its smooth surface to join her. The drops of water shown like pearls in the moonlight as they spun around her, never touching her but skimming close enough to her to refract rainbows of color onto her robes and face from the moonlight shinning through them. Suddenly she came to a complete halt, her robes swishing around her as the droplets of water merged into one large sphere. Her arms shot forward, her palms barely centimeters from the water globe, and she began to bend.
The globe stretched into a water snake and she moved her hands in confidant practiced movements around her, causing the water to dance in the intricate patterns that her hands dictated. Each movement was soft and calculated, but Aang knew that at any second the seemingly harmless water could become a powerful weapon. He would never forget the look on her face as she formed that pillar of ice around Zuko and slammed him into the ground, rendering him unconscious. It was a side of Katara that he had never seen before. She always seemed so warm and caring, but in that instant, all of her considerable Waterbending skills were directed at a single person, and he saw for the first time just how destructive this girl before him could be.
He had always know that she was strong, and would do whatever she could to protect those she cared about, but actually seeing it was another thing entirely.
The growl to her voice, the swift movements, the sheer coldness of her glare, and the force behind each movement. It was almost frightening to know what she was capable of, and yet at the same time it was also very reassuring. As perverse as it sounded, he found comfort in the fact that he was not the only one capable of destruction when he was enraged. To see that someone who always seemed so gentle, regardless of her famously hot temper, suddenly become focused on the solitary idea of getting back at someone who was after her and those she cared about… He shuddered slightly, the memories of her fighting Zuko to free him also brought back the terrible memories of what transpired at the Earth Kingdom base.
And suddenly the horrifying moment were Katara disappeared beneath the ground was replaying before his eyes. Clamping his eyelids together tightly he tried to will away the terrible aching that settled into his gut as the emotions from that singular moment sunk into him once again.
The tip of her braid disappearing into the ground only inches from his fingertips as he dove to try and catch a hold of her. The sudden wave of indescribable pain that swept through his body as he crouched near the spot where she had been only seconds before. The sudden swell of rage that shook his body, and tore at what little control he was retaining over his emotions as tears streamed unchecked down his face.
And then there was the glow.
The sweep of energy in his body had overwhelmed his senses, and magnified the pain he was feeling a hundred fold. No coherent thoughts would pass through his mind, only the senseless rage that was fueled on by the clenching of his chest and the searing pain that was eating at his gut. He was no longer himself; he was his pain, and the pain of all the Avatar's before him. He had done the one thing that Katara had feared above all.
He had lost himself to the pain.
A whimper escaped his lips, despite how tightly he was clenching them, and Katara spun to face him, her eyes immediately locking on his prone figure. She didn't need to ask to know what was wrong. The look on his face spoke of so much anguish that it could only mean one thing. Moving slowly to his side she sat in the dewy grass beside him, she wanted nothing more that to pull him into her arms and never release him, but the frantic shaking of his head and the arms outstretched in front of him stopped her.
"Aang, what's wrong?" her voice was the barest whisper, and she surprised even herself with how weak it sounded, "I can't help you unless you let me in."
He shook his head harder still and did his best to keep her away with his outstretched arms.
"Please Aang," she pleaded, her blue eyes becoming glassy with tears as she clasped her hands together tightly in her lap, her fingers holding onto one another was the only thing keeping her from reaching out to him at that moment.
She didn't know how he would react if she touched him.
After all the time that she had known him, she finally was faced with something about him that she just couldn't seem to figure out. No matter how hard she stared at the array of emotions that the young Avatar was displaying quiet visibly, she just couldn't figure out what to do. Tears began to pour down her cheeks as she looked at him, he was keeping her out both physically and emotionally, and it was something that he had never done before. She bit her bottom lip to keep her tears from escalating into sobs. But looking at his face, twisted with pain and other intensely intermingled emotions, broke her resolve. A small whimper was the first sound to escape her, followed by a slightly choked back sob. All her walls and defenses were crumbling fast and before she knew what she was doing, she had thrown herself at Aang, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and sobbing openly into his shoulder.
He was her best friend and she hated to see him hurting, it made her physically ache to see him in such a piteous state.
His reaction to her launching herself at him came only seconds later as he wrapped his arms around her, burying his face into her neck. She could feel the hot tears streaming from his eyes as they trickled down the curve of her neck and it only made her sob harder. Seeing him seem so broken was almost too much for her to bear, and she wanted nothing more than to put all the pieces back together. To have her innocent and carefree best friend back, but it was too late for that.
A hundred years too late.
All she could do now was stay by his side and pray that she was strong enough to keep him from breaking any further. Because for him, she would wait for eternity.
ZZZ
A/N: This is the end of my fluffy little one-shot, I won't continue on this one, but I am planning on writing another, much longer one-shot, that will pick up after this Friday's episode, but we'll see.
Please R&R,
Dirty Thoughts of Bliss