Title : Dirty Worth
Author: TheMadPuppy
E-mail: themadpuppy85 AT yahoo DOT ca
Permission to archive: Yes, just tell me!
Category: Drama/Death/Humor…horrific romance?
Genre: Hetero
Rating: M, for cough very suggestive material
Summary: Indeed, Harley was worth something, and he'd gladly demonstrate how. Joker X Harley, One-Shot
Keywords: Joker, Harley Quinn, Arkham, Roberts, Leland, The Aftermath
Spoilers: This is a companion fic to The Aftermath, by Amanda (Gladrial10). Reading her fic first is heavily recommended.
Disclaimer: I don't own Batman nor make money out of this. It's only for my pleasure and yours. .

Author Notes: For Amanda, who suffered computer loss to a flood and was thus abruptly missingTT. Welcome back, sweetie, glad that you're back hugs.

DIRTY WORTH

Really, Joan didn't mean to. God in His Mercy kept her from becoming a morbid voyeur, and even in the name of Science or—society forgives her—curing Harleen, she wasn't interested to know. Not a little, not the details, not the beginning or merely the last word of it, nothing was as precious as a clean mind in this matter, be blasted what Roberts thought.

So how exactly did she learn that the Joker liked deepthroating?

The word, ugly, twisted, was scribbled hastily on her notepad, almost unreadable, and her eyes carefully passed over it to check upper, discover why and when it went wrong, how a normal, nicely boring predictable psychoanalytic session could have turned to Sex Confessions, and more importantly, what was the one single horrible mishap that permitted Harley's raving to slip from Joker's encompassing omnipotence on how he appreciated his blowjobs.

After all, if she had to be haunted by nightmarish visions from now on, perhaps she could prevent Harleen's next therapist to suffer the same fate?

Ahhh, there.

"You're wrong! Puddin' likes plenty of things I do for him!"

-x-x-x-

Really, he was less and less subtle about it. His patient's quirked eyebrow tells him as much—but even the prospect of experimenting again the Joker's highly insane gaze rampaging on his body like a colony of disgusting tarantulas can't refrain him anymore of pushing the subject.

He would know, damn it, the sordid topic was worth millions in those ass-licking papers. And quite frankly, why was it so difficult? The Joker was always happy, famished for any opportunity to boast about his sick achievements and god-like prouesses, so why the hell did he keep ignoring this (golden) one? For Christ's sake, he just did it in a closet last week!

It didn't make any sense. Roberts was no grinning ego-maniac and still would have taken some pride at reducing a smart, pretty blonde to a willing (and satisfied, quite obviously!) fucktoy—but apparently the clown didn't agree. Unless brainwashing doctors to be your plaything was daily bread for him—which could be, who knew—he had to face the possibility that Harley really meant nothing for the psychopath.

Not even on the most revealing, primal level.

Adios.

Millions.

"Come on, she surely must be worth the trouble in bed!" he finally exploded, a despaired note edging in his voice.

In front of him, the Joker laughed, reassessing his position in the couch with a funny, almost sane glint in the eyes.

"Oh! Absolutely, that's not a question…in fact, Doc, you just gave me the most perfect idea!...Promise, next session, you'll know exactly how Harley felt the first times she did me a special favour…now won't you be happy to understand at last?"

End Notes

Come on, we all wanted some smut to go with that fic! But was it the sex with the mop or the mop in Robert's throat, I don't know, at some point I screamed "Eureka! Deepthroating is the answer!"(a-hem yeah, luckily no one was home when I said that...) and we were on Innuendo Road to keep our creepy minds satisfied. So, this not ECP—but damn was I feeling like a sinner writing it!