Treats for Tricks
By Kay
Disclaimer: I don't own EW. Oh, the travesty.
Author's Note: Justa Halloween challenge, kind of cute. Hope you enjoy. :) :)
Jalil shows up on his doorstep in irritation, clutching the hand of a small girl with suspiciously similar eyes. They even move just like Jalil's, following Christopher's dropping smile to the candy bowl propped on his hip without turning her head at all.
Of course, Jalil has never looked at Christopher like he would eat him. And after having spent more than his fair share of time around cannibals, Christopher knows the greedy look of someone who wants to eat him.
"Trick or treat," the little girl says. Her eyes don't leave the candy bowl. Christopher considers just putting it down and stepping away from the door; cannibals and crazy gods and wizards he can face, but small children with sharp teeth are all sorts of scary. Especially Sherman children with sharp teeth. Or just Sherman children in general.
"Say something crude in front of my sister and I'll kill you, Hitchcock," is what Jalil says.
"Here, have some sugar," Christopher mumbles hastily, shoving the bowl out and hoping she won't take his fingers with it. All that pink lace and sparkly headband stuff just makes Jalil's sister look that much more frightening. "So, uh... got stuck with trick or treatin' duty, huh? I was lucky, Dad actually thinks taking out my brother's fun so I just have this job."
Jalil's scowl deepens even further, if possible. He hasn't even tried to dress up-- jeans and a long-sleeved shirt that's maybe been worn (and then promptly washed) three times since coming off the rack of shirts Christopher wouldn't be caught dead near is as casual as he's gotten for the night. "Children have sticky hands," he says flatly, distastefully eyeing the way his sister's still digging through Christopher's rapidly emptying candy bowl. "This entire holiday is stupid."
"Not arguing with that." Christopher wondered if it was worth trying to take the bowl back. "I saw three Galahad costumes, eight wizards, and about thirteen witches. I gotta tell you, once you've seen the real stuff, it just sort of seems depressing." Not to mention, not one of the witches looked anything like Senna-- though he still sort of wanted to tell the last group to head to David's house and kick him in the shins.
Jalil checks his watch impatiently, and from the huff of annoyance isn't happy with what he sees. His sister has discovered the bottom layer of Ring Pops in the bowl and is making excited noises.
"Sooo," Christopher says, quite bravely if he's right, "do I get a trick for all these treats?"
Jalil gives him a look.
"What? What? I just wanted a joke. You do have a sense of humor, don't you? Even the lame ones are good. They're at least worth a Tootsie Roll," although from the way her bag is bulging, Jalil's sister has taken every except the Tootsie Rolls, "and if you don't know any, I bet your little clone does."
"Clone?" Jalil sputters.
"Jokes are needless wastes of breath and time," Jalil's sister says, matter of factly. She takes the last of the Laffy Taffies and beams up at Christopher. "That's what he says, anyway."
Christopher snickers, enjoying the red tips of Jalil's ears and the glare now directed his way. "But what do you say?"
"She says thank you for the candy, and it's time we headed home," Jalil interrupts firmly, putting his hands on her shoulders and steering them away. "Goodnight, Christopher."
"Hey, I didn't get my trick!"
Jalil makes an exasperated noise in his throat and turns around, eyeing him. "Fine." A smirk curved his lips. "How do blonde brain cells die?"
"Oh, so we're making this personal, huh?" Well, Christopher figures he can give him one, especially considering how many times he'd made jokes of similar natures about Jalil's... erm... diversity. "Fine, how?"
"Alone."
Jalil's sister starts to laugh.
"I can't believe you knew such a bad dumb blonde joke," Christopher says.
But he throws Jalil the last Ring Pop in the bowl, anyway.
End