The One-Hundredth Way

Disclaimer: I own my soul, and sadly, that does not include the Harry Potter world.

A/N: So here's a sequel I felt like writing to, "Third Time's A Charm". You don't have to read it to get this, but I'd suggest you do anyway. (It was only a one-shot, after all.)

The One-Hundredth Way

Tonks could still remember the warm and gentle feel of Lupin's lips against hers, but it had ended all too soon. He may have gone on saying that he was sorry about it, that he didn't want to lead her on, but it was too late, she was hooked. And judging by the feel of his kiss, by the almost reluctant way he pulled away, she suspected he might feel the same. A first kiss might have been nice, but now, she wanted more. It was time to get a first date.

It had been over two days, since she gotten that kiss. Two bloody days, and since then, he'd been avoiding her. It would be no problem if he didn't have feelings for her back—well okay, maybe that would not be fine—but the point was, she could accept it if he wasn't interested. But she knew him, and she saw it in it eyes; had felt it in his kiss. Oh no, he was definitely interested, almost in a desperate way.

So why push her away? Some absurd excuses had come out of his mouth after he told her he didn't want to lead her on. Excuses about his disability—that what he called it—his disability of being a werewolf. And if that wasn't bad enough, he argued, he didn't even have a job, he was living at Grimmauld! So what, she had retorted, it wasn't like it was his fault he didn't have one.

Oh, and what about his age, was she just going to ignore the fact that they were over thirteen years apart? She laughed at that. She knew couples with bigger age gaps, and besides, her parents were thirteen years older then him, so it wasn't like she was attracted to someone who could be her father. Thirteen years was nothing to her.

He wouldn't back down though. No, even if she didn't care, others would. She could lose her job, being with someone like him, not to mention the comments she'd get. Before she could protest, he ended it at that. He left the room, retiring for the night, and she was left standing there, stubborn. Oh he could run, but he couldn't hide from her, not forever. She was determined.

Sirius Black, ex-convicted and now prisoner of his own house looked up from the Daily Prophet to see his high-spirited little cousin enter the kitchen.

"Morning Tonks, I thought I just heard Mumsie say hi to you."

"It's that stupid troll stand, it keeps tripping me." She grumbled, taking a seat next to him at the table.

"It trips you, or you keep tripping over it?"

"Shut up."

"Well," he smiled, "help yourself to some food. It's a little late for breakfast though."

"No thanks, where's Remus?"

"In the study reading, and hiding from you, I suppose."

"You knew I was coming?"

"Well, not definitely but you have been coming every morning for the past couple of days. You know, since the day you attacked him."

"I did not attack him," She protested, and added in a lower voice, "I just tried to kiss him is all."

"Yeah, and I know all about it. You got the poor bloke scared Tonks, he fears for what you might try to do next."

"Hey, he's the one who ended up snogging me in the end."

Sirius pulled his newspaper back in front of his face, hiding his grin. "I know, he told me. He also told me what he told you, and I know what you're gonna say, that it's all rubbish."

"It is all rubbish!"

"Yes Tonks, I know that, but he's stubborn, he's not going to see it any other way."

"Well I haven't given up." She pulled out a small red book from her pocket. "I pinched this from mum not long ago, she once told me she used it on dad."

Sirius put the Daily Prophet aside, and took the book from her hands.

"Ninety-nine ways to get a wizard out on a first date?" He read the title slowly, and then let out a bark of laughter. "Oh Tonks, you can't be—"

"I am serious, Sirius." She claimed, which caused him to laugh even more. "Oh Merlin, what have I done!"

"You know, I never get tired of that pun." He smiled, opening the book and flipping through it. "What is this though? Number 10, play the part of a bad witch. Sneak up on him, hold your wand at his throat and tell him he has to come with you or else he'll pay for the consequences. Tonks! Come on…actually, that would probably work on me."

"Well duh, anything would work on you. But no, that's not for him."

"Hmm…maybe you'll find something in here, after all." Sirius continued to flip through the book, laughing occasionally at what he read.

"Give it back." Tonks made a grab for it, but Sirius held it out of her grasp.

"I'm not done with it yet." He answered, looking back down at the pages. "Ah, number sixty-three, yes, some girl did that to me in fifth year. Quite ingenious, actually."

"Sirius."

"Seventy-eight, that's been done to me too. The summer after seventh year, her name was Bonnie. Damn, was she a great shag."

"Sirius!"

Tonks lunged forward, grabbing the book out of his hands.

"Thank you." She ran out of the kitchen before he had a chance to take it back.

"Aw, come on Tonks!"

Standing outside the study, Tonks opened her book and began to look through the index.

99 Ways:

1-10 – For the wizard that likes aggression … Pages 3-13.

Hmmm…perhaps Lupin didn't like aggression, but Tonks had a feeling he might need it. She flipped through the first ten reasons, stopping on number six.

Number 6 – steal something of his and ransom it off for a date. If he really likes you, he'll find this funny and cute, instead of creepy.

Well, she wasn't certain that he liked her, but it was worth a try. Maybe she should go and take the book he was reading from his hands. Yes, that would do nicely.

Lupin sat peacefully in his one-sitter couch, his eyes looked glazed over as he read from his tatty old novel. It was one of his favourite ways to pass the morning by, and when one was avoiding the advances of a persistent witch, what better way to do it?

Which is why he didn't exactly appreciate it when the very book he was reading was tore from his hands, and held behind the back of said persistent witch.

"What are you doing Tonks?"

"You want your book back, don't you?"

Lupin sighed. "Of course I would like it back."

"Well, you can have it…if—"

"If?" He rose in eyebrow, though somehow he knew what was coming.

"If you take me out on a date." She answered, a gleam in her eyes.

Lupin stood up from his seat, and at an impressive six feet four inches, Tonks felt like shrinking into oblivion. But no, she would hold her ground.

"Is that right?" He asked calmly, looking down at her.

"Yes, yes it is." She nodded, thinking maybe now would be a good time for her to metamorph to his height.

But it was too late; he had already reached behind her and grabbed the book from her grasp.

"Thanks." He said, turning and walking out of the room.

Damn it. Okay, so maybe aggression wasn't the way to go. She took her red book from her pocket, and looked back at the index.

11-20 – for the wizard that likes sweetness … Pages 14-24.

Well, wasn't sweetness the opposite of aggression? He was such a nice man himself; perhaps all he needed was the love of a gentle sweet lady. Hmm…could Tonks do it?

She looked through the section, and stopped at number thirteen.

Number 13 – write your name on a piece of paper, buy a chocolate frog, and magically transport the paper into the frog. Wrap the chocolate in a note that says "Guess who wants a date with you? See inside the frog." Let him eat the chocolate and find your message!

That did sound sweet, and Remus adored chocolate! Okay, the new plan was on!

Lupin sat in his room, his book had been put away, and he was busy writing a letter Dumbledore. The Headmaster liked to be updated regularly, after all. He had been finishing up the last of his sentences when he heard a knock at the door.

"Come in." He said, preparing for the worst.

Because he knew it had to be Tonks. Sirius didn't bother knocking most of the time.

"Hey Remus, I've brought you something as a present for earlier." She stepped into his room, holding a neatly wrapped box.

"For earlier?" He questioned, but soon recalled the incident by the look on her guilty face. "You mean for holding my book hostage? Don't worry about that, it was hours ago."

She passed him the gift, and he tore the paper off. Uh-oh, this wasn't how it was supposed to be. He had just torn the note off without realizing what it was.

"Ooh, a chocolate frog, my favourite." He smiled kindly, throwing the crumpled note she had used for wrapping the box, into the garbage.

The frog took a couple of jumps, but Remus had his hand firmly round it. Once it stopped, he put it in his mouth. The smile on his face faded as he began to chock on it however.

"Oh Remus, are you okay?" Tonks yelped, running behind him and smacking him on the back.

He coughed a couple of times, and then spit out the ripped and wet message with one word; Tonks.

Even in it's damaged state, Lupin could make out the words.

"Tonks…why was there a piece of paper in that frog that says…Tonks?"

"Well…you weren't supposed to eat it, you were suppose to…er, find it."

"But, why?" Remus swallowed the remaining chocolate in his mouth and looked down at her quizzically.

"Well…you were supposed to read the note I used to wrap the chocolate frog in," she mumbled, "but you tore it all up and threw it away."

Lupin looked at the garbage, and then back at her. "So what did the note say?"

She couldn't look him in the eye anymore. Geez, another plan gone to waste.

"It doesn't matter. I'm sorry, bye." She dashed out of his room before he could question her any further.

Alright, so sweetness wasn't the way to go either. That was okay though, she still had other ways to go. She took her red book out again, looking at section three.

21-30 – for the Quidditch lover … Pages 25-35.

Remus liked Quidditch, right? He was a man after all! She remembered her seven years at Hogwarts, and all the boys; how crazy they went over the wizard sport. Right, this must be the answer, she told herself.

She looked through the different numbers, stopping at one she thought made sense.

Number 27 – Buy a case of Golden Snitches or Quaffles (Bludgers are not recommended) and magically write the message across each of them "Interested in a date on broomsticks tonight?" If your wizard loves Quidditch, as most wizards do, he won't turn down the opportunity to play Quidditch with you, under the moonlight!

Hmm…yes, that sounded fun. Only, she had just recently crashed her old broomstick, now that she thought about it. Maybe Sirius would lend her his, then she could get Lupin out for a nice moonlight game. When was full moon again, anyway? Not for another week, which meant it was safe.

"Hey cuz," Tonks said happily passing Sirius in the hall.

"What do you want now Tonks, I have to go feed Buckbeak."

She shrugged. "Lend me your broom?"

He let out a howl of laughter. "What, and let you crash it? I don't think so."

"I'm actually not that bad, you know. I helped bring Harry here with the advance guard, remember?"

"Yeah, and that was a lucky time. Please Tonks, I know what happened to your broomstick last month."

"It was a work related incident—"

"And why aren't you at work, by the way?"

"It's Sunday."

"Oh yeah." He scratched his head, irritated at the fact he that couldn't keep track of the days stuck in the batty old house. "Well, no you can't borrow it, sorry."

"Come on." She pleaded, grabbing his arm and shaking it. "It's for my ultimate plan of getting Lupin to go on a date with me. We can go play Quidditch together under the moonlight."

Sirius shook his head. "Don't' bother asking him, he'll just say no."

"I've got a plan to surprise him though."

"Doesn't matter. Lupin doesn't even have a broom of his own, he can't afford it. Besides, full moon's coming up, and he gets paranoid about being outside at night just before."

"But it's not for another week!"

"Don't count on him saying yes."

"Fine! You've just ruined another one of my plans." Tonks huffed, and left him in the hallway.

Quidditch was no longer an option, but she hadn't given up yet.

31-40 – for the wizard who needs an ego boost … Pages 36-46.

Remus definitely needed that. Wasn't he unwilling to go out with her because he thought so little of himself. Oh, this really was for him.

She read through the pages and decided on number thirty-eight.

Number 38 - Look into this week's Witch Weekly's most eligible wizard, and cut his face out of the magazine. Send the clipping to your wizard telling him, that you think that wizard is repulsive, and that your wizard is truly the most eligible bachelor out there.

Yes, this would do. She needed to show him he was wanted, sought after. Only…she didn't happen to subscribe to Witch Weekly. Hmm…Molly!

An hour later, Tonks held a copy of the week's Witch Weekly in her hands, as she sat down at the kitchen table. She went through it, searching for anything about eligible bachelors. But there was nothing. Perhaps she could find something else?

This Month in Witch Weekly, we're focusing on eligible Professors. Last Week we did a piece on the very eligible Professor Minerva McGonagall—

"Oh my G—"

And now, this week, our eligible Professor, is Professor Severus Snape. Professor Snape (see picture below), a startling man of thirty-five and friend to Albus Dumbledore, is for reasons unknown to this journalist, still single. He's currently the Potion's Master at Hogwarts, and—

"No, I can't use this!"

"Can't use what?" Lupin asked, walking into the kitchen.

"Nothing!" Tonks shut the magazine closed, putting an innocent smile on.

"I see. Well, I've come for lunch." He announced, opening the cupboard door. "That is, if there's anything to eat."

"Right well, you go ahead and make something. I'll, er, go get Sirius and tell him lunch is soon."

She slinked out of the kitchen, clasping the magazine close to her.

If she were going to give him an ego boost, it'd have to wait. She needed to find something that related more to him first.

Sitting on a couch in the drawing room, the very couch she where had fallen over and Lupin had kissed her, she took out her red book and looked back to the index.

41-50 – for the scheduled on the go wizard … Pages 47-57.

Hey, Lupin was a very organizes sort of person, wasn't he? Perhaps he did schedule things…he could, for all she knew. She glanced through the numbers, picking out the second suggestion.

Number 42 – If your wizard carries around a scheduler to keep his priorities in check, nick it from him one night, and quill in "Date with your name, this Friday." He should appreciate your organizational skills.

While the idea was great, she realized that perhaps it would take too long. What if he never checked it? More importantly, what if he didn't even have a scheduler? Only one way to find out.

She snuck back upstairs, making sure Lupin and Sirius, who were both in the kitchen eating lunch, didn't hear her.

Right, she had made it this far, now all she had to do was…

Tonks turned the knob of Lupin's room, entering it slowly. Good, no alarms went off or anything. She looked around, appreciating the site. Everything was clean and tidy, quite unlike her own flat. Oh well, opposites did attract after all.

Books filled the shelves, some of them even piled neatly on the floor because of the limited space. The desk had a couple of scraps of parchment, and an inkbottle and quill. But there was no sign of an organizer.

Perhaps he kept it in the pocket of his jacket?

She moved over to where he hung his jacket, over a chair. Fingering the pockets she found them to be empty, except for an odd Knut or Sickle. Perhaps he hid his scheduler. Some people did have strange habits, after all. She checked under his pillow, but nothing was there. After picking it up and taking in a deep whiff of his scent, she put the pillow back down and went back to searching. She went through his drawers, but there was nothing. Then she spotted a pair of pants lying across another chair. Why had he set them aside? Maybe he had a very small organizer, and it was in the pockets of those pants.

As she moved over to them and searched the pockets, the door to the room flew open.

"Uh…Tonks? Why are your hands in my trousers?"

His words caused both of them to blush.

"I—I mean, well…what are you doing in my room?" He stammered, trying to regain composure.

"If you must know, I'm looking for your scheduler."

"My scheduler? But I don't have a scheduler."

"Oh, now he tells me!" She raised her hands up in defeat, stepping away from the pants and walking over to the door.

Lupin got out of her way, as she exited. He was too confused about the whole thing to even bother to stop her.

I won't give up, she thought obstinately, scanning through her red book.

51- 60 - for the wizard who thinks with his stomach … Pages 58-68.

No, that sounded more like Sirius. Still, it was worth looking into. She looked over the suggestions stopping at number fifty-six.

Number 56 – Make your wizard a lovely meal, and enchant the plate you put it on, so that it reads, "Will you take me out on a date?" By the time he finishes his meal, he'll be able to read it. The better the meal, the more likely he'll say yes!

No, this definitely wasn't the way to go. Besides, after the chocolate frog incident, she doubted Remus would trust any food she gave him.

She flipped back to the index.

61 –70 - for the wizard who loves a mystery and chase … Pages 69-79.

He did read a lot. She wasn't sure exactly what, so who was to know if what he was reading were mystery books or not. She went and read the first suggestion.

Number 61 – Owl a message to your wizard; the message should be a riddle, telling him that he's just been selected to take part in a game of wits. In the riddle, give him hints as to where he is supposed to go, (where it is, you decide). When he gets to the place, he should find another riddle message, possibly someone you hire could be standing there to give it to him. Have him apparate all over town, until he finally ends up in front of a restaurant or the movies. Then usher him in, and tell him he's just found himself on a first date.

Now this without a doubt sounded good. What man didn't love a chase, honestly? And Remus would feel witty, figuring out the riddles and places to go. Yes, this was certainly something he'd like.

Lupin sat on his bed, looking around his room deep in thought. Maybe he was wrong about—no, he was right—but she was going through a lot of trouble, that much he could tell. What exactly she was up to, he hadn't figured out yet. But it was only a matter of time now.

Just then, a small barn owl flew through his open window, dropping a small note in his lap. The owl flew off, as he opened it.

Follow my words for where you ought to be,

You are now in pursuit to find the missing me,

And once you complete the tasks of going places,

You will come at last to the right spot, and recognize the faces,

For the face will be mine,

And we shall have a good time.

-. . .-

Now your first task is as so;

Go to the place where students of witchcraft buy their wands.

"What the—," Lupin frowned down at the note, not able to make much sense of it. Then comprehension dawned upon his face.

"Sirius," he called loudly, so his voice would echo through the walls and reach downstairs, "have you been writing me drunken letters again? I told you to keep off the Firewhiskey."

Tonks clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle her giggle. She had been standing outside Lupin's room, eavesdropping on him as he received her note. She should have been upset, and she was, that he didn't get it. But still, him accusing Sirius, that was just too funny.

Oh well, she could always try something else.

71-80 – for a wizard who needs a little push … Pages 80-90.

Yeah, he unquestionably needed that!

Number 75 – Send him a box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavoured Beans with a note asking him to send a bean back to you; the peppermint one if he'll go out with you, or the horse's dung one if the answer is no. Note: there is no such flavour as horse's dung, therefore, he can't say no!

Hah, now there's a thought! He wouldn't have a chance to say no, she liked the way that sounded.

Lupin walked into the kitchen, asking Sirius where he put the Daily Prophet newspaper. Sirius, who was cleaning out the pail that had just been holding Buckbeak's dead rats for food, told him it was on one of the kitchen chairs. Lupin retrieved it and sat down to read.

Minutes later Tonks walked in, and the gleam she had earlier had returned to her eyes, Lupin noticed.

"Hello." She said, sitting down across from him.

"Hi." He mumbled, keeping his eyes on the paper.

"Look about earlier, I wanted to apologize for it. So I've brought you some sweets."

"Have you now?" Lupin said, putting the paper down. "Where have I heard this before?"

"I swear, its not like before, there's no paper in these beans." She said, holding out a package of Bertie Bott's Every Flavoured Beans to him. "In fact, the note's right here."

He took the package from her one hand, and the note she held out with the other. "Thank you."

Sirius dropped the bucket and strode over to Lupin. "Did you say Every Flavoured Beans? I haven't had those in years!" He grabbed the package from Lupin, wolfing down the entire contents.

"Sirius!" Tonks squealed.

Lupin read over the note and looked up at Tonks. "Well I guess I can't send you back any beans, seeing as he's eaten them all."

The silly grin on Sirius' face vanished as the conflicting flavours began to kick in. Lupin and Tonks had a good laugh as he ran to the sink to spit it all out.

"I always forget they make me do that." He sulked, turning the tap on and taking in big gulps of water.

Another plan gone to waste, Tonks thought sadly. But somehow this time, just to see Sirius do something stupid, made it worth it.

By now Lupin had retired back to the study, Sirius was tending to Buckbeak again, and Tonks was left in the kitchen to plot out her next line of action.

The next section of the red book read,

81- 90 – for the bookish wizard …..… Pages 91-101.

But this was perfect! Surely there had to be a great suggestion here. Yes…number eighty-four looked exceptionally brilliant.

Number 84 – Find the current book your wizard is reading, and measure the page sizes. Take a piece of paper and cut it so it's the same size, spray it with your perfume and write "Drop the book and pick me up for a date later?" Stick it in, making sure it doesn't stand out from the other pages. While he's reading, he'll get the shock of his life!

Yes, this would do just fine. Only, he happened to be reading that very moment, so how was she to get his current book from him?

Lupin glanced up from his shabby old book, with darting eyes. He had been in the study for over an hour, and nothing had disrupted him. Something wasn't right. He knew, by feeling and by instinct that something was coming. It had to be; he was never given much peace to himself. The question was, when was it coming?

Nymphadora Tonks strolled into the room as if on cue, walking over to the shelf of books and scanning through the titles. Lupin eyed her suspiciously.

"Hmmm…no, no…hmmm…maybe, no, no…ah, here's a good one." She pulled a book from the shelf, and took a seat on one of the couches, not even glancing in Lupin's direction.

Oh yes, something was definitely up, he thought, something indeed.

He wasn't even reading his book anymore. His full attention was on the witch who sat not far off, and her face lit up, as if what she was reading was fantastic.

"Oh!" She cried out, and went into a hysterical fit of giggles. "Ah!"

"What is it?" Lupin asked, and she stopped laughing.

"Oh Remus, I didn't notice you there."

So okay, she hoped it didn't sound as lame to him as it just did to her.

Yeah right Tonks, he thought. "Well, what are you reading that's so amusing?"

"Nah, you wouldn't like it." She teased.

"Can I see for myself?"

"Well, alright, but pass me your book. Fair trade while you're looking at mine."

He nodded, getting up and swapping books with her.

He glanced down at the book and read through the page. It was about the culture of muggle farmers and the kinds of magical artefacts they'd come across throughout history.

He looked up and said, "Hey Tonks, this isn't f—" And that's when he noticed she wasn't in the room anymore.

To his immense relief, she did however return a couple of minutes later, just in time to stop him from coming out in search for her.

"Sorry about that, I had to pop over to the loo. Well, here you are then." And she passed him his book.

"I hope you didn't bring the book into the loo with you." He said, sitting back down at his seat. "Because you know Tonks—" But then he realized, she had disappeared on him again.

He went back to reading his book, and a few minutes later as he turned the page, he found a page that looked different from the rest. It was lighter and newer, as if it had just been put in, and on it were magical shining words. Only the words he couldn't make out because they were soggy, as if someone had dripped water on them. In fact, the next couple of pages of his book were like that too; they were ruined.

"Tonks!"

And as she came back in she discovered that maybe he was right after all. It's never a good idea to bring a book into the loo with you, and especially not a good idea to put it by the loo's sink.

Well that hadn't worked either. Great, just great, there was only one section of the book left.

91- 99 – for the responsible, hygienic wizard … Pages 102-112.

Hygienic? Well he did smell nice, and clean and fresh. Sometimes he even smelled like chocolate, but still, clean. She supposed he must be a hygienic wizard. The suggestions though didn't seem that great. She finally came to the last one, the ninety-ninth one. Her last possible chance.

Number 99 - Write out the words "Will you go out with me?" Cut the sentence out into a thin line. Then take his floss, open the container, and tape the words to the floss. Put everything back together, and next time he goes to floss at night, he'll pull out his floss with your message. It's a sure way to make sure you're on his mind just before he goes to sleep!

No, absolutely not. Not only would that take too long for him to find—did she want to wait until he went to bed?—but that also meant she'd have to sneak back into his room to get to his personal bathroom. She wasn't going risk getting caught again; it was too humiliating the first time around.

Taking a deep sigh, she plopped down onto the couch, the same beautiful couch where he had first kissed her, and tossed the book aside. That was it, she gave up.

She understood now; he just didn't want her. Oh, he had told her he was too old, too poor, and blah blah blah, but in the end, it was probably just some excuse for the real reason. The kiss really was an accident; he wasn't interested.

"So this is what you've been referring to, huh?"

She turned to see him holding the book up from where she had thrown it. She hadn't even heard him come in. He smiled and looked down at it.

"This book is pure rubbish, you know?"

She shrugged, unable to speak. Part of her was extremely embarrassed that he had found it; the other part not really caring anymore.

"Look Tonks," He began, his voice serious but gentle, "you know how I feel about this. You deserve so much more than me. I'd ruin your career, and your social life if you got involved with me, which is why I can't allow us to be anything."

Tonks shrugged again, keeping her eyes straight ahead.

"However, since you've gone through so much trouble today, and yes, I've noticed, I will take you out on a date. Just one though, all right? No promises."

She looked up to see a small smile playing about his face. He wasn't mocking her; he was in earnest. She jumped up from the couch, and next thing Lupin knew he found her in his arms, snuggling against his chest with the most satisfied grin.

She looked up, and he returned the smile. And really, as she impulsively reached up to kiss him, she couldn't help but think ninety-nine ways was not enough. She should write in and give the book editors a one hundredth way to get a wizard out on a date.

"Let him do the asking."

The End.

A/N: the longest one-shot I've ever written, (it took me over two hours to write it), so I hope you guys appreciate it. If not, please, leave a review and tell me how much it stinks. Or if you like it, leave a review and tell me how much you liked it. Basically, either way, please review!

-rayko