A protest to all the NaruHina pictures I've been seeing plastered over the internet lately. Fluff ahoy! YAOI! (let's hear an amen, fanboys and fangirls!)
And sorry about not having an 'at' sign; doesn't allow 'at' signs. Which is silly.
Internet Perdition
Sasuke sat down in the computer chair; heaving a weary sigh and leaning back to rest any and all aching muscles. Naruto's snores from the other room informed him that the kitsune hadn't had any trouble getting straight to sleep after their extensive training exercises in the forest. A docile meow from his feet also informed him that Naruto's stupid cat was on its preparation stage of 'torment Sasuke until he pets me'.
He turned to the computer and rolled the mouse across the pad a few times to wake the sleeping machine from its hibernation. It blinked to life, a brilliantly bright picture of Team seven with Iruka. The academy teacher grinned sheepishly from beneath Kakashi's arm, while they all stood in front of the Konoha mountain with wide grins. He smiled at the picture affectionately, as far as Uchiha Sasuke affectionate smiles went, anyway.
The mouse glided over to hover above the internet icon, which he double clicked and waited patiently.
Before he could chance a thought about the volume, an overly drastic voice blared through out the surround sound system that Sasuke had mail, the word 'mail' making the windows shake and the floor rumble. He scrambled at the speakers, taking the 'controlled' approach and beating his fist on the seven or eight knobs until the sound snapped off with an exiting thud.
He breathed in relief and leaned back to see if Naruto had woken. The blonde stirred, rolled over, and continued breathing evenly. Sasuke scowled at the offending speakers and clicked on the mailbox, sorting through the list of emails.
shurikens'r'u s -at- shinobiweapons .com(Shinobi Weapons) Sub: Sasuke! You have not bought your yearly supply of shuriken! With this two dollars off coupon…
SPRINGTIMEOFYOUTH -at- shinobiline .org (Gai-sensei) Sub: HELLO ALL OF MY YOUTHFUL STUDENTS! I INVITE YOU TO COME WATCH A DUEL BETWEEN ME AND MY ARCH RIVAL ON SATURDAY!
Ichaichaparadise -at-shinobiline .org (Kakashi-sensei) Sub: Saturday training?
mylovesasu -at-fangirl .com (spam) Sub: Sasuke! Are you sure you don't want to reconsider your sexual preference?
Ramenluver -at-shinobiline .org (Naruto) Sub: Ha! I'm emailing you even though your in the other room!HAHA!
lazyshadow -at-shinobiline .org (Shikamaru) Sub: Hey, Sasuke! Get a load of this!
Sasuke clicked on the read button grimly, opening the next window and skimming through the short email with semi-dread hanging on his heart.
I found this while I was surfing the web and thought you'd get a kick out of it! (Don't kill me if you don't get a kick out of it though, I'm not the one that drew it)
-Shika
Sasuke grimaced again, and against better judgment, clicked on the link and leaned back, waiting for the page to load.
A soft shift in the bedroom snapped him to attention. He rolled the chair back further to peek into the room once again. Naruto was groping at the bed and mumbling, his face beginning to grow angry as he reached further across the bed and muttered unintelligible pleas. "'Suke?"
"I'm on the computer, I'll be there in a little bit… just checking my email." He called in return, snorting as the young man growled and grabbed Sasuke's pillow, squeezing it to him as if hugging a body. Naruto had grown too accustomed to sleeping with someone. Sasuke made a mental note to fix that problem sometime in the near future. After all, it was not good to have a fussy Shinobi muttering in his sleep while on a dangerous mission, or even while spending the night at Iruka's house.
He looked back to the computer screen, heart palpitating momentarily. "Mother of…" he muttered the face he made mixed between disgust, hate, and anger. "Who would…?" he snarled just below his breath, scanning the picture to try and recognize any type of watermark. He scrolled to the bottom of the page and violently hit the 'email me' button.
Pale fingers dashed across the keyboard with livid tapping. He glanced up at the picture one more time, the anger making his blood throb. What a horrilble picture. To top it off the artist wasn't very good either. Naruto's hair did not bend like that (it didn't bend at all in fact) and Hinata's eyes were all wrong. And their mouths didn't even look like they were pressed together, it looked like Naruto was eating her face. It was a blood curtailing picture to the sulky boy.
To whom it may concern-
This picture is disgusting and offensive, and not just to Naruto, but to me. Hinata and Naruto may have had a childish crush in the past, but this is ridiculous. Having my boyfriend plastered to a good friend of ours by the lips is rude, and unless you want your ass kicked I suggest you take it down and delete it.
-Uchiha
PS. I don't care if your flipping ANBU. I can guarantee your death anyway.
He hit the send button with a harsh snap, nearly breaking the mouse beneath the strong and deft finger. His shoulders didn't relax, but his heart lightened a bit at allowing himself the pleasure of threatening some stranger ruthlessly.
After shutting down the computer without further ado, Sasuke stood and began stripping from his clothes on the journey to the bedroom, finally crawling beneath the covers beside his lover's nude form.
"Whaz wronnngg..?" Naruto mumbled into the mattress, abandoning his death grip on Sasuke's pillow and instead encompassing the real material.
"Nothing." He grunted, leaning down and meshing their lips together fervently. "Someone was trying to get their ass kicked over the internet is all." He muttered, snuggling down into the bed more to hold the back of Naruto's neck possessively.
"Hn. I trust that was difficult with the computer screen being in your way and all." Naruto smirked ruthlessly through his veil of exhaustion.
"Shut up and sleep." The Uchiha grunted, kissing gently at the blonde hairline and squeezing.
"Whatever, 'Suke… just don't kick all night again. You need to learn to sleep peacefully."
"Whatever."
Naruto cracked an eyelid slowly, examining the scowl on his boyfriend's lips. "Sasuke…"
"Hn?" he grunted, eyes closed in a faux relaxation.
"Love you." The blonde placed a soft kiss on Sasuke's jaw, then nuzzled into the inviting neck before him.
His dark features melted into a surrendering compassion, even if slight. "Love you, too."
Fluuuuuuff. Yummy boy fluuuuff. And this concludes my protests to NaruHina pictures and fiction everywhere.
And tell me if there's something wrong with all of this, because when I went to preview, it had every type setting on, and none of the emails were there at all. So I don't know if it showed up for anyone else.