Title: For Me

Author's Note: This story was inspired by Cath1's For Her and is a "part 2" of sorts of that story. Thank you Cath1 for writing it and allowing me to expand upon it. For Me was written with Joe's Girl in mind… I hope you both like it.

Summary: He changed for her… but I had to change for me.

"Since you keeping turning me down for a date, why don't we meet at the park Sunday" Jake had said to me Thursday night when he came into the coffee shop.

He had been a regular for the last 3 years or so and had, about a year ago started asking me out. Naturally, I said no because men were the furthest thing from my mind. The first few times I turned him down I was polite but he continued asking so I tried being short with him. When that didn't work, I was down right rude, but that didn't work either.

He was persistent and didn't take offense at my rudeness. He even told me once that he knew what I was doing and that I was wasting my time. He wasn't going stop asking me out until I went out with him at least once.

So, finally, I gave in and told him I'd meet him at the park and that it would count as the one and only date we would go on.

My life has been so busy the last couple of years and I don't remember the last time I had time to sit and just think… and now, while I wait for Jake and our first and only date to commence I let my mind drift back…

Four years had passed since I made the most daring decision of my life. Four years had passed since she walked into the coffee shop. Four years had passed since I was forced to take a long hard look in the mirror… at my self.

I did not like what I saw… a lonely, bitter, envious woman who was wasting away at the coffee shop, too afraid to reach out for her dreams… a woman who was dying bit by bit day by day, too afraid to hope in life because it only seemed to hand out disappointment.

That night as I looked into the mirror I cried … something I had not done in a long time. That night I threw myself a pity party… something I did quite often.

And then I did something that took me by surprise.

I forgave him… for not being my knight in shinning armor… for not rescuing me from my hellhole of a life… for loving her and not me…

I forgave her… for being beautiful… for being his wife again… for being the mother of his child… for being the keeper of his heart…

And then I forgave myself… for all the wrong choices I made in life… for wasting so much time in a loser job and on a loser boyfriend… for sleeping with him just to get back at that loser cheating boyfriend… for using him and allowing him to use me… for being bitter over losing something I never had…

I cried and I cried and when the morning came I still cried. But somewhere amidst the tears, I made a daring decision… I would reach for my dreams.

The morning after she came into the coffee shop, I went down to the university and took the first steps to enroll in school. And now, four years later, I am about to graduate with a BS in accounting, will be starting a new job and will begin my Masters program in the fall.

It was hard… working full time and going to school full time, but it was worth it… I was worth it.

I have learned and am still learning that I am worth it. I am worth all the hard work it has taken over these last four year. I'm learning that it's OK for even me to have my dreams come true.

I can have a career I love and maybe, just maybe one day in the distant future I can love and be loved by a good man.

Glancing down at my watch, I see that my date is late and for no reason that I can fathom I begin to wondered if my late date could be… but no he can't be because that part of the dream still frightens me a little.

I shake my head and push those thoughts far far away as I look up. Glancing around the park for my late date… I pause when… I see him… and then I see her.

He's carrying a little girl, no doubt the protrusion I saw four years ago, on his shoulders… she has her arm linked with his and she's again rubbing her protruding stomach… still so perfect, still so pretty and still so pregnant.

They are laughing… all three of them and it's obvious that he is happy, that she is happy, that they are happy with their life together… And I don't feel one ounce of envy.

I am happy… I am happy for them.

Tony Almeida and Michelle Dessler Almeida… I am happy for them.

Four years ago, if you had told me that I would say that, I would have told you that you had lost your damn mind. But four years later, I am a different woman. No longer am I that lonely, bitter, envious bitch.

I am a woman who is in control of her life. I am a woman who isn't so afraid to dream anymore. I am a woman who respects herself now. I am a woman who loves herself now. I am a woman who is happy now.

I see my late date making his way over to me… and I realize that I am a woman who has changed… and I changed for me… and maybe it's time to reach for that part of my dream that still frightens me a little.