A/N: I am a very patient person, but please, if you have the time to add my story to your favorites list and story alert list, can you at least tell me why you liked it? haha
Lily was chatting amiably with her friend Melanie Greyloy on her way to Potions. "Yeah," she agreed, "he really shouldn't have slapped you back."
Melanie rolled her eyes. "I can't believe the nerve of Sirius Black! In the first place, he shouldn't have been cheating on me. But in the second place, when I caught him making out with what's-her-name and slapped him, he had abso-bloody-lutely no right... No right at all!"
The girls shook their heads, contemplating the stupidity of some guys.
"You know, we're going to be late to Potions if we don't hurry, Melanie."
"Yeah, you're right. Why don't we take the shortcut down-" Melanie saw something reaching out from under a door and tried to warn her friend. "Wait, Lily, watch out for the-"
"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" Lily screamed as a hand grabbed her ankle, tripping her and causing her to land heavily onto her other ankle. She heard a snap! and saw an explosion of stars and then nothing.
Nothing at all.
"Ugh," she moaned, as she regained consciousness. As it was very dark, Lily didn't know where she was, but the space seemed to be incredibly small.
The world slid in and out of focus, but she could tell that that there were two other people in the room.
"Padfoot," growled a familiar voice, "when you said you would get Lily into a broom closet with me, I was somewhat counting on the fact that she would be conscious."
"But mate," said Sirius, clapping the speaker on the back, "it's so much more fun when they're unconscious!"
Lily snorted in disgust but was unheard by her two companions. The first speaker, whom Lily suspected now to be James Potter, laughed and said, "I think you better solve your little problem outside. She's definitely awake and enjoying life."
The series of small thumps that Lily had taken to be coming from the nearby Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom grew louder and she heard Melanie's voice. "POTTER AND BLACK!" she bellowed, "LET LILY OUT OF THERE! I'M GOING TO YELL 'RAPE' IN FIVE SECONDS! FIVE... FOUR..."
She saw Sirius stand up, and though she could not see his expression, she imagined him to be grinning. "Good luck, Prongs. I'm out." And he left them, shutting the door with a bang.
"Git," sighed Potter, and he took out his wand, muttering, "Lumos," and cast them into better light.
Lily struggled to sit up, causing James to start. "What?" asked Lily coldly.
"I just- just didn't know you were-"
"Alive? Conscious? In excruciating pain? Take your pick, Potter."
He winced. "I didn't know Sirius was planning on tripping you, Lily."
"That's Evans, Potter. We are most certainly not on first name terms."
"Fine, Lily, fine."
She glared but didn't pursue the matter. "So what's your plan for getting me to the Hospital Wing?"
James sidled closer. "Well, actually, I was thinking that since you and I are in this lovely broom closet together already, we should-"
She kicked him with her good leg.
"-enchant the brooms and fly there," he finished weakly.
"If that's what you were planning on saying, Potter, I'll eat a newt."
"Some girls say my tongue looks like a newt," he said, opening his mouth and wagging it at her.
Lily kicked him again.
"Lily, if you keep doing that, I'm going to need the Hospital Wing more than you do."
She changed the subject. "Enchanting brooms sounds too risky. I think I'll just try to walk." Using the wall as a brace, Lily stood up, pushing hard on the wall with both hands to reduce weight until she got her ankle into a standing position.
James watched her, amused. "There's no way you can walk on that ankle."
"Wanna bet?" she taunted, taking a step forward. But her ankle gave out, and she fell backwards.
Straight into James's arms, the author might add.
"How dare you touch me!" she shrieked, jumping out from his arms and glaring at him.
"I just saved your life! Blimey, girls make no bloody sense..."
"Hello, Melanie," said Sirius, sauntering out into the hallway.
"Where's Lily?" asked Melanie, ignoring the fact that her heart was racing at the sight of him and his stupid muscles bulging through his stupid shirt and his stupid hair falling all over his stupid forehead with those stupid lips that were -Oh dear- meeting hers.
With the greatest surge of willpower she had ever felt, Melanie shoved Sirius off of her. "You," she spat, "cheated on me and slapped me!"
"Now Melanie baby-" Sirius started, a little worried when he saw her rolling up her sleeves and tying up her hair.
"Oh," she hissed, "don't call me 'baby', Sirius Black. In fact, you're going to be very lucky if you can even have babies after I'm finished with you!"
Sirius gulped. "I'm alright with it as long as we actually test out the Sirius-can't-have-babies-anymore theory."
Melanie's wand flashed out of her pocket. "Do you see this stick?"
His eyes narrowed. "Don't you DARE tell me to fetch that stick, Melanie Greyloy! That only works when I'm in Amimagi-"
Sirius saw her questioning look and stopped mid-sentence. "Sorry, what were we talking about?"
Her eyes flashed. "Oh, but we weren't talking, you see. I was about to hex you into oblivion."
"Of course you were," he said, deciding to humor her. He saw the look of determination in her eyes and decided to prepare to defend himself, just in case. He reached inside of his pocket for his wand.
Which wasn't there.
He found a note instead, which he hastily opened and read.
Padfoot-
I have borrowed your wand to use as a bookmark in my copy of "Hogwarts: A History" because you never use your wand outside of classes anyway. It's bad for the pages to dog-ear them, you know.
Thanks,
Moony
Sirius roared in frustration and then saw a great flash of light.
He heard Melanie cackling in triumph as the ground came roaring up to meet him.
The broom hovered shakily in front of them.
"James," asked Lily nervously, "are we sure this is going to hold us?"
He could tell she was truly anxious because she had slipped up and called him by his first name. "Let's see," he said, swinging up on the broom.
The broom stayed in the air rather reluctantly. "Yeah," said James, "it'll hold."
"But I'm not on it yet!"
He eyed her, making her blush. "You don't weigh enough to make this broom fall out of the air."
Lily felt oddly flustered by the compliment and hastily replied, "Well, let's set off, then." She awkwardly stumbled over to the broom and swung her good leg over it, seating herself behind James.
"I enchanted this one for speed. You should probably hang on," he advised, though she knew that he just wanted her hands around his waist. (A/N: I just typed 'waste'. That's awkward...)
Kicking open the door with his foot, the broom darted out into the hall and was turning the corner when-
"Was that SIRIUS?" asked James incredulously. He turned sharply, which made Lily gasp and hold on tighter, and they circled back, where they indeed saw Sirius out cold with the mark of a hand on his face. "Oh great, what are we going to do with him?"
"Well," said Lily, "you could always flag down a teacher and-"
"Hey kid!" yelled James to a passing first year. "Wanna make a sickle?"
The first year nodded eagerly.
"Drag this bloke down to the hospital wing." He flicked a sickle over to the boy, who caught it easily. "No magic allowed! If you use magic to get him there, this sickle will-" he paused dramatically, "spill your darkest secret to the entire school."
The boy nodded fearfully, grabbed Sirius's hands, and started pulling.
After they had flown away, Lily pinched James's side, hard.
"OUCH!" he yelped. The broom swerved wildly, and for a second Lily regretted pinching him. "What was that for?"
"You shouldn't have charmed that sickle! That's almost black magic, James, and you of all people should-"
"I didn't charm that sickle! I just wanted him to develop upper arm strength! Upper arm strength, Lily! Did you see him catch that sickle? All he's lacking his arm strength, and he'll make us a great Chaser next year!"
"Guys and Quidditch..." sighed Lily.
Madame Pomfrey glared at everyone present. "Do you really expect me to believe that it is a mere coincidence that you are all here at the same time?"
Sirius, Peter, Melanie, Remus, Lily, and James averted their eyes.
"Apparently you, Mr. Black, are here because you (she squinted at her clipboard) were Stunned?"
He nodded meekly.
"Then why is your entire body covered in bruises? Why, it looks like you were dragged through half of the school!"
James snorted, and Madame Pomfrey glared at him.
"Mr. Pettigrew, Polyjuice Potion is against the rules here at Hogwarts! Why on earth you would take it, and in such vast quantities..." She turned to face Peter Pettigrew, half boy and half sensuous blond.
Peter made no reply.
"And you, Ms. Greyloy! It says here that you were 'laughing so hard you ran into a wall'? Pray tell, what was so humorous that you decided to lose three teeth and fracture a skull over?"
"Well, Madame Pomfrey, I found out that the girl I saw Sirius kissing yesterday was in fact him (she pointed to Peter) after he took the Polyjuice Potion. He paid Sirius to give him snogging lessons."
Madame Pomfrey blinked, revolted, before moving on with her assault of the room. "Mr. Lupin, my assistant wrote down that you were 'hexed over a bookmark'?"
Remus nodded with all three of his heads, miserable. "I'll ask next time, Sirius, I swear..."
Madame Pomfrey watched the heads in fascination for a moment before pressing onward. "Ms. Evans, I can understand your ankle, though I do wonder how you snapped it in three places... But I wonder if you also sustained injuries to your head! Why didn't you just flag down a teacher to walk you to the Hospital Wing instead of enchanting your own broom?"
"We were but- Then the- I didn't mean to- Oh, I don't know!" she wailed. "I wasn't thinking, Madame Pomfrey!"
"As I suspected. And you, Mr. Potter. Your injuries have the most peculiar story of all. My clipboard here reads: 'Mr. Potter says he was too engrossed in snogging and forgot to steer the enchanted broom, which then crashed into the statue of Harry the Hidden, causing the breaking of six of his ribs'."
James grinned sheepishly.
"And what have you learned from this experience, Mr. Potter?"
"Well," he said thoughtfully. "Harry's a great name for a kid, you know."
"DETENTION, ALL OF YOU! And Anne?" she asked of her assistant. "Make sure that Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans do not have beds near each other... If there is going to be a child named Harry in this Hospital Wing, we don't want it to happen anytime soon."
A/N: I confess, that chapter was by far my favorite to write... Was it your favorite to read, by any chance? -wonders if her enjoyment is in any way related to yours-
I also rather like Melanie... It makes me laugh that the first original character I write in here is exactly like me. Expect to see her again in later chapters...
Thanks for all of the reviews!