Come Come Kakashi!

Chapter 5: Taming of the Fox

Author's notes: I have forgotten how fun it is to write fanfics. Ah well, nothing much to say, except that I would like to give a JOLLY GREAT THANKS to everyone who commented so far, and that I will try to keep the fic as reasonably logical as possible. For a given value of logic. On to the story!

(P.s. it's not going the way I would like it to, quite similar to a cart careening down mountain path. It seems to steer itself. But then, this way is pretty much more fun. Maybe I can squeeze a bit of plot in. Somewhere.)

"Naruto!" Yelled Konohamaru as he galloped down the path to the river. "You won't believe this!"

A pale Naruto stared blankly at the flowing water as he sat on the bank. He didn't want to think of anything anymore. "Go away, Konohamaru." Murmured a voice desperately devoid of its usual sunshine. "Just go."

"He's alive, Naruto, Iruka-sensei just came to class!" Blue eyes widened in disbelief.

"Alive?" Repeated the blond, dumbly. The other boy nodded vigorously. Naruto scrambled to his feet and took off toward the village at breakneck speed.

"Heee-ey! And he has a nice set of boobs!" Yelled Konohamaru, at a figure already out of earshot.

"Iruka, there's only one way to stop three jealous men from getting into a brawl over a beautiful woman."

Kurenai and Iruka sped along the streets in pursuit of the duo, Gemna and Raidou. Iruka looked at her.

"Okay, maybe there's more than one way. You could strip naked in front of all three of them."

"NO!"

"That'll stop a train for sure."

"I'm not going to strip!"

"Or you can Henge into a jealous brother."

"But you just told Kakashi I was dead!"

"Oh yes. Forgot about that." Kurenai dodged a vegetable stand. "It's either that or have half of Konoha destroyed by three powerful nins brawling with their trademark ninjutsu, you choose."

Iruka groaned. "Why do I seem to get into even more trouble with you around?"

"Hey, hey, blame your own dumb luck! How the hell did you manage to get Kakashi on your case? He's practically asexual! He's virtually capable of self-propagating with all that porn of his!"

Iruka cringed, "I don't think people have kids that way, Kurenai-chan."

"It's tragic! There are about a few hundred kunoichi in this village and these three idiots take notice of the only one that's been female for seventy-two hours!"

Iruka was about to reply when a blond boy crashed into his side, throwing both of them to the ground. Kurenai yelled, "Watch where the hell you're going, kid!" Naruto picked himself up and gave them a brief look before dashing off.

Iruka scrambled to his feet, staring after the boy. Oh no, he was so busy with all the dressing up that he had forgotten to tell Naruto! The look on Naruto's face had been one of determined hope, as though searching for something. Or someone. Iruka took off in the boy's direction, leaving behind a staring Kurenai.

"Iruka!" yelled the jounin, "Where are you going! We need to save the village from certain destruction!"

Gemna and Raido spotted their target on the ground, strolling with his face in a book. They narrowed their eyes.

Kakashi froze as he felt murderous Ki from behind him. He spun as he whipped out a kunai, deflecting the ten shurikens in a smooth sweep of his arm. The two nin landed in front of him, falling into battle stances. Gemna's senbon flicked to the left side of his mouth like a metallic grin.

"What is the meaning of this?" Demanded Kakashi.

" You have commited a serious crime, Hatake." Smirked Raidou as he circled round. Kakashi eyed him warily.

"Can't we settle this like civilized people? I don't even know what I did!"

Raidou gave a yell as he launched a physical attack faster than the eye could see, limbs coming down on Kakashi's defense blow by deadly blow, "After what you did, this is civilized!"

The silver-haired nin languidly dodged the spray of senbons from Gemna's direction, expression worried. Gemna cursed and flipped overhead as Kakashi's blow shattered the ground under him.

"What did I do?"

"You fiend from the deepest pit of hell!"

"What did I do?"

"You stealer of women's virtues! You cheat, you argh, over-prepared overachiever!"

"What did I do!"

Naruto felt his arm being grabbed from behind. He spun. A young kunoichi wrapped him a tight embrace, his face buried in her shoulder. Voice muffled in fabric, he tried pushing her away. She wouldn't budge.

"Naruto! I'm so sorry! I forgot to tell you!" She whispered into his blond hair.

"Huh? What do you mean? Look lady, thanks for the hug and all but I really need to find someone!"

"Naruto!" The note of urgency in her voice puzzled him. "It's me."

He pushed free from her embrace. "Huh?"

"It's me! I'm Iruka-sensei!"

"What?" The boy took a few steps back in astonishment. "You have got to be kidding me!"

"It's true! Tsunade-sama saved me with her jutsu! She put me into this body!"

"Sexy no jutsu!" A naked female burst into being, assets and all. Iruka turned a furious red and slammed a righteous fist onto the blond's skull.

"NARUTO! YOU IDIOT! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR! DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO NEVER USE THAT JUTSU IN PUBLIC!"

There were tears of pain at the corners of the blue eyes, as Naruto switched back to his normal form, laughing. "But that's the only way I know that it's really Iruka-sensei!"

This halted Iruka's fist and his expression softened. "Naruto, you…argh, why do you manage to do such things in such obnoxious ways?"

The blond scratched his head and grinned, "Dunno." Turning serious, he looked Iruka up and down, "So it's really you, Iruka-sensei?"

"Yeah."

"Nice bod." Iruka turned red again. Naruto was possibly the only one who could understand his situation right now, with his Sexy no Jutsu and all that. There was a loud crash in the distance and the sensei's head whipped around in its direction. He leapt to the roof, with Naruto on his tail.

"We have got to stop a fight!"

"Eh? Who's fighting?"

"Kakashi-sensei, Gemna-san and Raidou-san!"

"Why in the world?" They dashed toward the source of the sound. Already they could see debris flying through the air from an unseen ground zero.

"Long story! I'll tell you later!

Eight Raidous flung chains of solid steel through the air, crisscrossing the trajectory of the dodging Kakashi. The copy-nin danced lightly on the chains as they shot past, eyes widening as one whipped around his ankle as fast as a rattlesnake, throwing him off balance. He flung seven kunai, pinning the links of the chains to the ground as he worked to pull off the one around his leg.

Gemna came darting in, spinning a lightning kick to his head, which Kakashi blocked with a forearm. He grinned. "I don't know what you're doing, but this is pretty fun, you know?"

Raidou gave him a vicious grin, "Glad to see that, Hatake-san." They had fought through several streets, creating a wide swathe of destruction. Owners of ravaged stalls sat in the sidelines cheering, curiously ignoring the loss of property. Their insurance policy was inclusive of random acts of destruction, essential in a ninja village like Konoha. It was a good show, anyways.

There was a roar as Kakashi and Gemna both backflipped spectacularly, weapons at the ready.

Kakashi motioned with his fingers, cocky: Come and get me.

Gemna and Raidou charged him from both sides.

They didn't notice as two figures appeared through the crowd, one yelling "Stop! I said STOP!"

Naruto, seeing his sensei yell and wave his arms ineffectually, decided the only way to stop the fight was to do this.

He stood behind Iruka, eyes clenched shut, praying fervently that Iruka would find some way in his big, big heart to forgive him for this one sacrifice.

He pulled Iruka's shirt up.

Kurenai found Iruka in his apartment later on, hiding in a corner, clutching a bulky flak jacket to his form. His face was buried in the thick collar, revealing only his eyes.

"What are you doing with that jacket?"

The sensei's voice was slightly muffled. "Nothing."

"Come on, take it off. It looks like a throwback to Sandaime's era."

"I'm not going to take it off."

"I'll lend you something else to wear."

"No! I'm not going to wear any of your clothes again! I mean, I wore them and –and –and THAT happened!"

Kurenai's sly grin spread across her face. "What did happen, by the way?"

Iruka blushed furiously.

"Whatever it was, it was marvelously effective in stopping that fight."

Iruka managed to turn a shade redder.

Three nin lay on the dusty street as the crowd dispersed, feeling faint from blood loss. Naruto lay to one side, beaten black and blue, but with a stupid grin on his face. He gave a mad little chuckle, "Yay! Iruka-sensei!" And flipped over, still gibbering.

Kakashi was the first to sit up, and did so slowly. He groaned. Still stunned from what he just saw, he still had enough blood to blush a little. Did Minnow-san just do that? He turned to his right and smacked Gemna and Raidou on the foreheads.

"Guuuh." Moaned Gemna.

Kakashi weakly grabbed at the other man's collar. "You," he growled, "did not see that."

"Did too."

He shook the man again and said even louder. "Minnow-san is going to be my girl. You didn't see anything."

"Hah! As if!" Kakashi smacked the man again. Harder. Gemna irritably flicked his hand away. "Stop that! Can't you see that I'm an invalid. I said stop that!"

There was a cough as Raidou raised himself on his elbows. "We haven't got you back yet, Hatake, for what you did to her."

"What I did to her? What the hell did I do?"

"She came to us, literally crying. What did you do?"

"I just asked her out!"

"Huh. Really." Raidou struggled to get up. Kakashi rose to his feet and offered the man a hand.

Groaning, three nin leaned on each other as they made their way drunkenly to the Konoha Nin Hospital. Gemna smeared the blood from his nose with the back of a hand. "Huh. Women." The trio stumbled in a companionable silence. "We're not giving her up to you without a fight, Hatake."

"Would you like to discuss that with my fist?"

"Hah! I've got several senbons here with your name on them!"