Disclaimer: Now and forever, they exist for us because of Kubo. We totally owe him.
He tried, but he did not succeed. Not quite. Hours of laying very still and he had only reached that limbo, that hazy place where his blood roared in his ears and the darkness had to fight the encroaching light. For those long years after the knowledge of Hou Gyoku, it was here that he would meet her. She would lay close to him and touch his hair, his chest, his body. She never said a word, but her eyes were always lit with conversations they should still be having. And some they never had at all. But in the end she would always go, excusing herself by brushing her lips to his forehead.
This time, however, those lips settled on his own and he could not see her at all, only hear her shallow breath and feel her hands gripping his shoulders almost possessively. And he heard it. "I won't say it. I won't leave my heart behind and take yours with me. I won't wrong you that way, Juu-chan. Hate me if you wish. I would never begrudge you that."
By the time he understood that he was not dreaming, it was already over. He sat up. The door was open just a crack, and next to it there was a large, wooden shield. The markings on it identified it as something that was not his. He got out of bed to examine it more closely. Wood hard and smooth, the Shihouin insignia burned into the center. A thing he had now to remind himself of her and, by that route, Kisuke. A keepsake. A memento. He could hear the alarm bells now. The pieces fell together and his whole body went numb. Juushirou ran his hand along the edge of the shield. "Goodbye," he murmured to himself.
When Kiyone came to confirm the alert, he sent her away and asked to be left alone. For the entire day his wish was obeyed. He sat in cold silence, looking toward a future without them, dreading its emptiness. What was he before then? He could barely remember. It was unfathomable that anything should return to the way it was before. At least before they had interrupted him, there was color in the world, no matter how dull, and the sure sense of safety. Now there was nothing but harsh gray doubt. He had failed at something. He had not even called out after her.
He dragged himself to his feet sometime after dusk, slid his door open and came face to face with Shunsui. The brown eyes were sympathetic but not pitying. If Juushirou were the kind to give in to tears, it would have been at this point. Instead he took a deep breath, looked his friend in the eyes, and said, "She left me something. Come and look at this."
Shunsui nodded and followed him back into the room. Juushirou closed and carefully locked the door as he knelt to examine the crest. "Do you remember learning about this at the academy? I never thought I'd see it up close," Shunsui mused. "One of the oldest objects in Soul Society, capable of destroying the Soukyoku." He paused. "She loves you."
"She left me," Juushirou said.
"Do you think she'll never come back? Only Kisuke has been banished. Aizen convinced someone at Central 46 they weren't worth pursuing. They're still alive. Doesn't that mean anything?"
"She'll stay away for his sake, and I don't blame her. The chance—the chances—I've had to keep her here, I've wasted."
Shunsui rose to his feet. "Do you believe they'll never come back?" His head tilted in a way that suggested that he already knew the answer, he just needed to hear Juushirou say it aloud.
Juushirou stared at him, caught between annoyance and gratitude. His mind was clear and his instincts sharp again. Kisuke, at his core, was a servant of the world he imagined Soul Society could be. Yoruichi was a servant of Soul Society who made no distinction between what was, what is, what could be. Juushirou knew this better than anyone. He had heard it from them, in their own feral, reverent words. He had seen it in their wild but somehow calculated actions. "Until they do, we should seal this." I'll wait forever if necessary, his eyes said.
Shunsui smiled. "So we should." I'll wait with you, friend, his heart answered back.
In the way they did many years ago as callow Academy students beset with a task, they went to work.
"Ironic, isn't it." It's more of a statement than a question. "I never thought that thing had any practical use," Yoruichi says.
"So why was it that, of all things, that you left me?" he asks.
She shrugs. "It was the only thing I had of value to give you. My whole life I had been told it was the most precious Shihouin heirloom. I am the last of the Shihouin. I didn't want to take it with me. I thought maybe you would want it."
"I would rather--" he begins, but stops.
"Have had me?" Her lips are twisting, half a sneer, half a grin. "I require more maintenance. It would have been troublesome."
"It doesn't matter how I felt then," Juushirou says, blushing. "Talking about it won't change anything."
"I know. I just remembered how enjoyable it is to tease you."
He smiles back at her. "You want me to say you haven't changed. You know you have."
"How so?" She crosses her arms.
"Why didn't you come to me when you got here? That's where the difference is. Shihouin Yoruichi, former commander of the Keigun brigade, was afraid to face a sickly old captain. It was written all over your face before you took off with the boy."
"I was a little shocked to see you there," she says ruefully. "Byakuya-bo is one thing. You are completely another. But you always did take care of your people. I should not have been surprised to find you at Rukia's holding place." She opens her mouth to say something else, catches his eye again, and quiets.
"How is Kisuke?" Juushirou asks softly.
She smiles to herself. "Free to experiment unfettered," she says. "We wandered for years after we left. He managed to settle down, but I never could. Once we argued and I left him. Didn't go back for at least ten years. I hated that he hadn't left anything behind, you know? I was jealous of him for a long time."
"And now?" he asks.
"No point in it. We finally have separate souls. Not too far apart, but separate. It was hard, but it's for the best."
"What will you do when you return to the living world?"
"Gather our resources and do all we can to help with the Aizen problem," Yoruichi says without a moment's pause. Then looks at him in shock when Juushirou begins to laugh.
"Shunsui called you both heroes," he says. "He always knows."
"And just what else did the all-knowing Shunsui say?"
"That I'd better take you home before you leave me again," he said, still laughing.
"What's so funny about that?" She leans forward.
He leans forward too, close enough to touch. When he kisses her, it's a short one. "He's wrong about that one. I won't take you home with me."
She slams her hands on the table. "You haven't changed a bit, you old tease."
Juushirou smiles at her wickedly. "When I take you home, it's going to be for good." Then the smile falls away. "I won't say goodbye to you again."
"I never said it in the first place," she scowls at him.
"Right," he says. "Just as long as we're on the same page."
She doesn't hesitate, not for a second. "Same paragraph, same sentence."
"Same word?" he asks hopefully.
She smiles at him. "I'll catch up. I never thought I'd come back to find you ahead of me," she says, and the warmth in her eyes is enough to make him concede again she's worth waiting for. A little while longer, at least.
A/N: Where did they wander? What did they do? And just what changed Kisuke's mind? I'll tell you later. Thanks for reading.