First place winner in the Week #199: SHOCK competition at Live Journal's Inuyasha Fanfic Contest. October 2009, Rating: PG, Humor/Romance!, 246 words. Beta read by the wonderful Fenikkusuken.

In the Family Way

"You're doing this to get back at me."

"Sesshoumaru, darling, I care for you very much but you are not the be-all, end-all of my existence. Your mother is still a very attractive dog demon, young at heart with a lot of love to give. That hasn't changed just because you've gone and made me a grandmother."

"You're doing this to get back at Father."

She dismissed the notion with a cheerful, elegant wave. "I have long since reconciled myself to your father's shameless abandonment of his family. Obviously, gallanting around Japan with human hussies of questionable character was quite important to him and his development as an individual. Who am I to judge?"

"Mother," Sesshoumaru began again. He took three calming breaths and mentally counted to ten. He pictured his Happy Place: a field full of little Rins picking little flowers where there was absolutely, positively nothing he would possibly want to maim, throttle, or kill. "Mother, this—

"Be respectful," she warned ominously.

"This… person… is very, very, very far beneath you."

"Sesshoumaru, son... sama?" tried Jaken. Sesshoumaru growled.

"Look at it this way, dearest. Your new half-sibling will be a full-blooded youkai!"

CRASH!

"Sesshoumaru-sama! Sesshoumaru-sama! Will—will he be alright?" Jaken asked his new bride, nervously clutching her arm as Tenseiga and its master slowly clattered down the stone steps of the shiro with a faint clank, clank, clank.

"Of course, my love!" She affectionately patted the green hand. "He's simply overcome with happiness."