Chocolate Ice Cream and Onions
By: Yamiko #7
This is possibly the weirdest title I have ever written. Credit for the simile goes to Simon Cowell - yes, THE American-Idol-British-People-Are-Never-Happy Simon Cowell. He amuses me.
And yes, the title does have a purpose. Believe me on this one.
A word of warning (or a plea for mercy, depending on how you see things): this is my first-ever Danny Phantom fic, and of course I have to make it harder on myself by making it a crossover...with Chrno Crusade...I believe they call this "sadomasochism." Pain for the characters, pain for the authoress, pain for what few readers ever read this ('cause I'm probably never gonna get it done)...and everybody's happy. n.n' Just kidding. I'm trying, I promise.
Let the craziness begin!
Chapter One: The Fenton Ghost Portal
"I'm almost afraid to ask, but...what're you making?"
"Ah! Danny!" Jack Fenton turned off the welder's flame and flipped the metal shield off his face. "Just the guy I was looking for. It's the Fenton Ghost Portal." He gestured grandly towards a piece of metal about the size and shape of a ballpoint pen lying on the table.
"Isn't it a little small?" Danny pointed out the obvious. "And don't we already have one of those?" He gestured towards the door to the Ghost Zone, which was thankfully closed at the moment.
"No we do not!" Jack picked up the metal and waved it around, using it as a makeshift pointer. "That's a door." The contest in obviousness continued. "And this -" the metal was now pointed towards what looked like the bastard love child of a large metal picture frame and Technus. "-is a portal. This little thing is just a piece." He tapped the pointer against his hand. "The portal transports ghosts elsewhere without actually putting them in the ghost zone. That gives us time to think about how to fight it before it comes back."
"Oh." Danny had nothing more intelligent to say. His brain was still trying to wrap itself around the idea of the portal. For his dad, that was brilliant.
"Your mother came up with the idea."
Well that explained a lot.
It did not, however, explain just why his dad had been looking for him. He decided to let that one slide.
As if on cue, Jack snapped his fingers. "Oh yeah! That was why I was looking for you!" He turned to his son. "It's time you installed the handle on the inside of the door to the weapon safe."
Danny sighed. "Right. Right. Whatever." And in an undertone as he started up the stairs, "Just make sure you don't lock me in..."
"Dammit!" Rosette swore angrily as she dashed down the hall of the abandoned apartment complex. "How long is this thing going to chase us!"
"Why are you asking me?" Chrno whined, hot on her tail. Considering her tail was no more than three feet ahead of the snout of the giant creature, there really was no better place to be.
Except for maybe in front of her, but seeing as that wasn't an option at the moment...
He reeled his mind back in and kept it on the task of running.
"Staircase!" Rosette called to him as she jumped on the bannister and slid down backwards, aiming her gun as she went.
"Right!" He opted for the safer route and thundered down the stairs themselves. A Sacred whistled past his ear and the creature behind him squealed in surprise.
"All right!" Rosette cheered.
The creature snorted and sneezed. That same Sacred once again whistled by Chrno's ear, this time in the opposite direction.
"Jeez, Rosette! You shot it in the nose?"
"That was all I could see!" She hopped nimbly off the bannister before she hit the very uncomfortable-looking knob at the end. That had been one long staircase. She glanced up, eyes widening at what she saw. "Chrno, look out!"
Chrno only caught a glimpse of the creature, which had rolled itself up in a ball in order to clear the staircase faster, before he vaulted over the rail himself in order to get out of its way, executing a beautiful landing after a fall of several yards. That really had been a long staircase. "Now what?"
"Gimme a Gospel!"
"And blow up another building!"
"Ya wanna get eaten!"
"...well, no." He handed her the Gospel and got out of the way.
Rosette took the bullet without another word and loaded it into her gun. She cocked it and aimed towards the giant furry ball nearing the bottom of the stairs. She hadn't seen much more of this beast than a pig snout, but it had to go. Anything that had a pig snout had to go. Except for maybe pigs.
"Now!" The creature had landed, unfurled itself, and turned to face her. She supported the gun with her left hand and pulled the trigger with her right. She was prepared for the explosion upon impact and the ensuing concussion of sound and movement. She was not, however, prepared for her world to turn on its ear and fade. In a sudden, bizarre, and mostly inexplicable turn of events, she whited out.
She wasn't alone, though. Chrno went with her.
"...And it took him four hours to remember I was in there!"
"Man, that's harsh." Tucker took time out from rooting around in his locker to give a sage nod.
"So why didn't you just phase out of the safe?" Sam was unimpressed.
A "what're you talking about" look came over Danny's face, followed in quick succession by "oh!" and "it's official, I'm an idiot." He facepalmed. "I can't believe I didn't think of that!"
"Believe me, neither can I." Sam rolled her eyes.
Tucker slammed his locker and stood. "Well, at least you'll know for next time."
"Believe me, there won't be a next time," Danny griped as they walked out the school doors. "I'm never going back in there as long as I live."
"What if you need to get a weapon?" Sam pointed out.
"Why would I need a weapon?" Danny laughed. "I have all I need right here." He held out his hands.
"Riiiiiiight." Sam rolled her eyes again. "So sorry, Mister Hotshot Ghost Boy."
"Don't be that way, Sam," Danny laughed. "You know I was just..."
Danny never managed to say what he was "just." He stopped short at the sight of a wisp of blue vapor escaping from his mouth. He sighed. "Great. Just what I wanted to do with my afternoon." The group of three looked up to see Johnny Thirteen soaring overhead on his motorcycle towards the center of the public park. "How the heck did he get out of the Ghost Zone?"
"Good question." Tucker nodded. "Better question: Why aren't you up there?"
"Good point." Danny handed his backpack to Sam - "Hold this." - and dove behind a convenient bush at the entrance of said park. Several split seconds later, he flew out from behind the bush as Danny Phantom, already in hot pursuit of the rogue motorcyclist.
"How did he get out of the Ghost Zone?" Tucker questioned.
"Got me," Sam shrugged. They exchanged a look and set off in pursuit of their friend.
I know, a bit of an akward place to end a chapter, but I figured after a month-long fanfiction hiatus, I should have something to post. (Y'know, seeing as Chapter Seven of "The Source of Power" is still not done yet...eh heh heh whoops...) That will be remedied somewhere in the near future, I promise. I will finish that fic.
Uncharacteristically short authoress paragraph...not much to say. Except for maybe, Thanks for sticking with me for this madness, please leave some semblance of a review in my mailbox, and see ya next chapter!