Disclaimer: If I owned X, let's just say there would be a lot more chaos goin' down than a pair of handcuffs.

Warnings: moderate SK yaoi but nothing too graphic hence the happy PG-13 rating (don't let the censoring Nazis get me!)

A rose blush was painted across Kamui's face as he embraced Subaru in the afterglow in their… intimacies, and he wearily buried his disheveled, raven hair against the Sumeragi's pale chest. They rested exposed in the living room of Imonoyama Mansion on a fold-out couch by the stairway without a care. Earlier that afternoon, Sorata had received an invitation to some Chili Cook-off across town. With him came Yuzuriha, and with some convincing on the Kansai monk's part, Arashi. They would not be returning until the next afternoon, leaving Kamui alone in the Mansion; an opportunity he and his onmyouji lover were not about to ignore.

It had been about a month ago when Kamui had shyly admitted his feelings for the Sumeragi, surprising him one day at one of their tutoring sessions. Subaru's own feelings were a bit more complicated to make sense of given his history with the Sakurazukamori, but with Kamui at his side, he had slowly attained something akin to love for the amethyst-eyed boy, and it wasn't long until they were inseparable. Needless to say, however, they had kept their relationship a secret from the other Seals, unsure of what their reaction might be. This had been strongly Kamui's decision, the boy fearing that things would change between him and the others if they learned that not only was he gay, but he had shared the bed of a man nine years older than himself. So the fact that the house had been emptied for tonight was a blessing for the two.

Kamui smiled as he felt the other's heartbeat drumming melodically, and pulled him closer. Subaru, however, did not have the luxury of caressing the boy back. Around his thin wrists was a pair of fuzzy crimson handcuffs that had been looped around the railing of the stairs above the couch, leaving the Sumeragi restrained and helpless against the pull-out bed. Kamui had found them among the junk in the attic a few days ago, still neatly sealed in its packaging. He remembered how Subaru nearly turned the shade of the cuffs when he showed them to the onmyouji, yet in the heat of passion, he made no objections to Kamui binding him.

Subaru flashed a rare grin as he felt Kamui's soft arms wrap over his waist, and he responded by laying phantom kisses over the boy's hair, restrained as he was. Kamui purred and rewarded his lover with a gentle kiss over his stomach. Subaru moaned softly, and it seemed that the flame was going to rekindle when—

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!

Kamui broke away from the older man, and glared at the phone across the room. The phone glared back wickedly.

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!

"Let the machine get it," whispered Subaru in a hoarse voice as his head descended to steal another kiss.

The phone wasn't going to have any of that.

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!

At that final sound, the red light of the answering machine flickered on with a high-pitched beep. The two paled at the voice which played into the air.

"Kamui? Ya there? KAMUI!" shouted Sorata. He paused as if expecting an answer. "It's me, Sora! It seems that Missie had some kinda freak food allergy to the chili, so we had to cut our fun short. We'll be home in an hour! Ja ne!"

Disappointment flashed over Subaru's emerald eyes, and Kamui cursed under his breath. Their romantic night had been ruined by bad chili. They would have to clean up the living room fast or risk being discovered. With a pout, Kamui rolled away from Subaru, and retrieved the small key that came with the handcuffs. When he returned to unlock the red handcuffs and set the Sumeragi free, however, panic registered in his violet eyes.

"Eh, S-Subaru?" stammered Kamui.

"Yes Kamui?" answered the other man lovingly.

"Th-the key…it won't turn…."

Subaru's gaze shot up at him. "WHAT?"

Kamui flinched back, but redoubled his efforts to get the lovecuffs off the onmyouji. But the brass key remained stubbornly rigid, and Subaru's trembling did not make the matter any easier.

"Subaru, quit shaking!" cried Kamui as he frantically twisted at the key.

"Turn it the other way! The other way!" shouted Subaru.

"No, it doesn't go that way!"

"You're doing it wrong!"

SNAP.

The two fell into an uneasy silence, and Subaru kept his eyes tightly shut. Already knowing the answer, he began to address Kamui. "Please. Don't. Tell. Me."

His young lover cringed. "…The key broke…"

The handcuffs rattled as the Sumeragi slumped, his face conveying an odd mixture of panic, disgust and shame. And as if matters could not have worsened, another loud ring echoed through the living room.

DING DONG!

"Damn. Damn!" growled Kamui. He quickly scooped up a pile of clothes not bothering to look at what he held, and hurriedly redressed himself.

DING DONG!

As Kamui was pulling a shirt over his head (actually Subaru's shirt, but he was too busy to care), Subaru reddened at noticing his own state of undress. "Ka-Kamui…" he pleaded. The door rang again, and a pink blush crept over the younger boy's face as well, as he mercifully threw a blanket over the naked onmyouji's waist.

When the bell rang for a fourth time, Kamui threw open the door to find a taken aback Keiichi. "S-Segawa-kun? What are you doing here?"

A charming smile spread over his classmate's lips. "Shirou-kun! I was just dropping by and I, uh, was wondering if you would join me for dinner?" he inquired hopefully.

Kamui sighed at this futile attempt to win his heart. "Not now, Segawa-kun, it's not a good time—"

Keiichi frowned in rejection and lifted a pleading, outstretched hand. "But I know a really great place, and we could—" SLAM. Kamui was already darting back to Subaru before poor Keiichi could get in another word.

"We're still all right," gasped Kamui.

Subaru was shaking his head to himself. In a time of such disaster, he did what he normally did: he blamed himself. "This is all my fault. If we did this at my apartment we wouldn't be in this mess."

The other did his best to put up a confident front. "We still have time! Maybe we can try using a different key!" he suggested.

"Just hurry," replied Subaru miserably, not at all keen on the idea of the others seeing him like this. As Kamui disappeared up the stairs, Subaru couldn't help letting his thoughts stray. "I wander what Hokuto-chan would say about all of this…"

Off in a distant cloud somewhere, a certain ghost was laughing her ass off…

Kamui had managed to pull out the remaining piece of the broken key out of the lovecuffs only to realize that none of the keys he had managed to find were quite the right fit. He groaned in defeat. Subaru, unfortunately, was much worse off than the boy. He buried his head against his shoulder and was letting out small moaning sounds at each new failure. When he had set aside the last of the keys, Kamui risked a glance at the clock, and found himself in a cold-sweat. They only had a half-hour left.

"It's hopeless!" wailed Subaru.

Kamui was pacing across the room. "There's gotta be something we haven't tried yet! How about we…no, no…we don't have any applesauce…Maybe we could…no, that's illegal…WAIT! I KNOW! We could—"

DING DONG!

"GOD DAMMIT!" screamed Kamui at the top of his lungs, and made his way back to the door.

"Look Keiichi," began Kamui as he swung the door ajar, but was very surprised to find Nokoru at his doorstep. "Imonoyama-san!"

The Chairman grinned amiably at the Seal. "Hello Kamui-kun! How are you tonight?"

Kamui sweat-dropped. "Wha-what brings you here…?"

"Well, I was just in the neighborhood…and Akira-kun gave me the best cookie recipe…and…GOD I'M SO LONELY! Suoh is on a vacation with Nagisa-chan, and Akira-kun's wife won't let him leave the house! Please don't leave me alone!" cried Nokoru.

"Well-err, you see, now may not be…(crap)" Kamui trailed off at noticing the Chairman's clingy expression. However, he quickly brightened with an idea. "Hey! Look! A pretty girl!"

Nokoru whipped around. "Where! WHERE! Is she a damsel in distress?" His eyes locked on a young woman walking down a sidewalk on the other side of the campus. "GOOD GODS! Her shoes don't match her purse! Nokoru to the rescue!" And he ran off screaming heroic music.

With an exhausted sigh, Kamui once again returned to our poor, bound Sumeragi, who was staring blankly at the wall. Upon noticing Kamui, he let out a deep breath. "I've been thinking," he began in the calmest voice he could manage. "So what if Sorata-kun, and Arashi and Yuzuriha-chan walk in and see me…see us, like this? I mean, it's not the worst thing in the world, your comrades seeing you cuffed to a stairway with an underage boy…naked…" he trailed away and his anguished, blank stare returned.

"Wait, Subaru! I remember what I was going to say now! What if we call the company that made the handcuffs! Maybe they can give us an idea how to get them off," cheered up Kamui.

Subaru's green eyes snapped open. "THEN CALL THEM ALREADY! FOR CRISSAKES, DON'T LET THEM FIND ME LIKE THIS!"

Kamui nearly tripped over his own feet searching for the package the handcuffs came in, and dove for the phone. His fingers drummed nervously against the table the phone was seated on as the other end rang several times. Subaru, meanwhile, had returned to making pathetic sobs into his shoulder. Kamui's purple eyes suddenly lit up. "Hi! I'm calling about your product. We seemed to have…" the boy frowned. "Yeah….Yeah….NO! DON'T YOU PUT ME ON HOLD!"

"Why God…why…." whimpered Subaru.

Kamui grumpily kept his ear pressed to the phone, but he found his foot involuntarily tapping to the music on the other side. "Hey…this song's pretty catchy…" he murmured to himself before humming aloud. "Hey, Subaru, you gotta listen to this song!"

"DO I LOOK LIKE I WANT TO LISTEN TO A SONG!" exploded Subaru, who had at last reached the limit of his patience. And then…

DING DONG!

"GOD DAMN THAT FUCKING DOOR!" screamed the Sumeragi, rendering Kamui speechless. When he regained his composure, the Seal was once again running to answer the door.

At this point, he was so frantic and pissed off that he nearly ripped the door off its hinges. "WHAT?"

Kasumi Karen winced at the other's verbal assault. "Calm down, Kamui-kun. It's just me. Sora-kun asked me to check in on you."

His eyes lowered apologetically. "Sorry, Karen-san. I…it's just…now…I can't…"

The soapland maiden's expression turned sly. "You have Sumeragi-san in there, don't you?"

Kamui's knees nearly gave out, and his white face had turned the color of a beet. "H-how…how did…"

"I've seen how you look at him…" she replied with a knowing smile. "That, and you're wearing his shirt. Do you want to talk about it?"

The amethyst-eyed boy began to stammer out a protest, but he realized that they had less than fifteen minutes left, and Karen might have been their only hope. He gazed at her weakly. "You have to help us!"

Once more, Subaru was struggling with the lovecuffs to no avail. He could feel the blood draining from his wrists, and his fingers were already numb. Yet this was the least of his problems. If the clock was correct, they had only ten minutes left until they were discovered. Then he could only imagine how the others would react. And poor Kamui…if anyone was afraid of having their relationship exposed, it was him. He doubted that the other three were astute enough to even suspect that their leader was gay.

"…Subaru?" called out Kamui from the other room.

Subaru decided it was best to comfort Kamui the best he could now. "It's all right, Kamui. You can come in…" Kamui obeyed, but his faced was clearly flustered, and Subaru soon saw why. He wasn't alone.

"Oh my…" gasped Karen, for a moment completely surprised at the sight of the introverted, quiet onmyouji handcuffed to the staircase.

"K-K-Karen-san!" cried Subaru, at loss for any explanation. He could feel his blood swarming to his cheeks, although he tried futilely to suppress the blush.

But Karen's soothing smile hastily returned, and she touched Kamui's shoulder in a motherly fashion. "When you said you had a problem, you weren't exaggerating."

At that moment everything poured out of Kamui. "EverythingwasgoingfinethenSoratacalledthekeybrokeandKeiichicameandwetriedanotherkeythenImonoyama-sancameandthenwetried
callingthecompanyandtheyputusonholdbutplayedthisreallycoolsongandthenyoucameandyou'rehereandnowyouknowandpleasehelp!" He paused to huff a little. "They're going to be back any minute…and I don't want them to see Subaru like this. And I also don't want them finding out that I'm…I'm…"

"That you're in love with another man?" asked Karen. Kamui nodded softly, his cheeks still tinted pink, and Karen pulled him into a comforting embrace. "It's okay, Kamui-kun. It's nothing to be ashamed of. And even if the others do find out about you and Subaru-san, they won't treat you any differently."

Kamui looked up at the woman, his crystalline eyes melting. "They won't?"

"What's important is that you and Subaru-san are happy together. And you are, aren't you?"

The boy managed a smile, although his face was even redder. "H-hai…but I don't know if I want them finding out quite yet."

Karen stroked Kamui's face. "That's your decision and no one has any right to take that away from you."

Kamui embraced her back. "Thank you, Karen-san."

Despite the tenderness of the moment, Subaru had been watching the clock closely. "Not to interrupt…BUT CAN SOMEONE SAVE ME THE LAST SHRED OF MY DIGNITY!"

Karen giggled to herself. "Sorry Sumeragi-san! I almost forgot about you!"

Forgot about me! Subaru wanted to scream, but to his relief, Karen was now approaching him. When she closed in, however, he found himself with what was by now a familiar mad blush and wishing he could have been better covered.

Karen's smile only broadened. "Don't be modest, Subaru-san. Believe it or not this sort of thing happens in my line of work all the time." She leaned her head closer to the onmyouji, with a teasing glint in her eye. "Although few of them are as cute as you are," she whispered. As she chuckled, Subaru's tense muscles eased a little, although he was still clearly uncomfortable when the Soapland girl climbed into the bed to examine the handcuffs. "Age difference or not, you two are made for each other…"

For the first time in the whole hour, a peaceful smile settled onto Kamui and he collapsed into a chair in the corner of the living room, very much surprised at how exhausted his body was. He caught himself nearly drifting to sleep when Karen let out a triumphant cry.

"Got it! There's always some trick to opening these things." she exclaimed, and the lovecuffs slipped off the Sumeragi's wrists.

Subaru let out a sigh of relief as he rubbed the circulation back into his hands. "Karen-san, I can't tell you how happy I am that you dropped by!" he cried with undisguised gratitude as he wearily threw his arms over her shoulders. However, the relieved scene quickly vanished as three Seals entered the room.

"HELLO KAMUI!" shouted Sorata merrily. "How are you—" are silenced quickly cut through the monk's words. There was Subaru, wearing absolutely nothing in the arms of a soapland prostitute (who by the way was still in uniform) while Kamui was sitting in an arm chair watching them. Well, there were only a few things that could have ran through their heads.

Luckily, Karen had saved the day once again, and to everyone's surprise, especially Subaru's, she pressed her mouth against his in a passionate kiss. Then, pretending to notice them for the first time, she innocently turned to them. "Oh! Hello everyone! Back so soon?"

"What…what is going on here?" wheezed Arashi, her throat still swollen by her strange chili allergy.

Karen rose, and put her hands to her hips. "Well, what does it look like? Truth or dare of course! Kamui-kun just dared me to kiss Subaru-san."

The young boy quickly caught on, and stood from his seat. "Uhm…y-yeah, but I didn't think she'd actually do it!"

"And Subaru! Where are your clothes?" cried Sorata.

Subaru hesitated, still dazed by Karen's kiss, but soon found himself reddening and pulling the blanket even tighter over his bare skin. "Uh…I-I-I…"

"He lost at strip poker!" rescued Kamui. Subaru furiously nodded in agreement.

"You should see how bad poor Subaru-san is with cards!" added Karen.

"Oh, you guys are so fun!" exclaimed Yuzuriha in her usual, bouncy voice. "Let me go next! I pick truth! This one time, there was this boy I had a crush on but he didn't know how much I would have liked him to like me to like him to like….wait…where was I?"

As the girl rambled on, Subaru and Kamui gazed at Karen with deep appreciation, but also with great relief. Their secret was still safe, Subaru still had the smallest amount of self-respect left, and Kamui was growing more comfortable with their relationship—a happy ending, sort of. Only after that, the two would never be using lovecuffs again—lesson learned. Speaking of which…

"Hey!' exclaimed Sorata as he climbed the stairs. "It's my pair of handcuffs! I wondered where these got to! Hey Missie!" But Arashi was already dashing past him up the stairs and to her bedroom. "Wait Missie! Why won't you just give my love a chance?"

And so things returned to normal (or what can be considered normal for their household) for our heroes.

Owari!