A/N: Finally, the spuffy lovin'. This last chapter took forever. Sorry for the wait. I probably should have split it into two but I wanted to finish this in seven chapters (for the fairy tale theme and all). Thank you very much to everyone's that's posted a review! This is the first story I've finished and I hope to make it a habit.
Chapter Seven
Spike waited as patiently as he could in the training room. The poof was long gone. He'd heard the roar of his sports car a few minutes ago. That was a good sign, unless Buffy went with him. He shook his head for thinking that especially since he could feel the slayer's heartbeat reverberating in him like a drumbeat. She was still out there, in the alley. Probably too damn scared to come in. Well, he'd give her two more minutes. Then he was going out there.
Needing to do something, his hands patted his chest, looking for his cigarettes. Too late he remembered he had taken off his duster in the main shop area. Well, he wasn't going back there. He could still hear everybody else in there. And though they hadn't killed him yet, he wasn't taking a chance until he knew where he stood with the Slayer.
Spike glared at the back door with all his might, as if it would open under the power of his stare. He jumped back in surprise when the door actually did open.
Buffy looked a little startled to see him too, as if she thought he'd be gone. Where else on earth would I be? Spike thought to himself.
They stared at each other for several minutes without speaking. Spike wasn't going to go first. He refused to go first. He wanted her to take the initiative for once. He almost caved when Buffy finally said, "We should talk."
"So…let's talk." He swung onto the pummel horse once again. He suddenly remembered, "Hey, you never said how you got up here."
"No, I didn't." Buffy answered and sat down on the mat across from him.
Spike was bemused. "You musta had some strong legs, pet." He looked down at her human legs. He knew just how strong those were. His concentration was lost as he recalled one particularly physical night. He had bruises on his hips for a couple of days after.
"Stop staring at my legs, Spike."
"Huh? What?" Spike jerked his attention to her face. "Oh yeah, talking. So, where were we? Doesn't matter. Let's move on to the part where we're meant for each other."
Buffy expelled a long sigh. "It's a lot to drop on a person, Spike."
"What? Hey, it wasn't my spell. You'd do well to remember that before you start slinging accusations this way."
She glared at him. "I'm not saying it was your fault."
"Damn right, it wasn't!"
"And I'm not even going to try and deny the truth of the spell—"
Spike placed a look of mock surprise on his face. "No denial? But that's what you do best."
Buffy continued as if he hadn't spoken a word. "I know it's…true. But you've known you love me for a long time now. I'm not there yet. I just finally accepted that I could even have deeper feelings for you when this spell knocked everything over. And now, suddenly, you are the one. My one." Buffy shook her head as the thought just hit her again. "But you're still you, and that really throws me for a loop."
"I'm still me?"
"You're still you. You know, you with the happy meals on legs. With the kidnapping and icky chains. With the illegal eggs."
Spike hopped down from the horse, irritation welling up quickly inside of him. He didn't want to hear one more thing about those damn Suvolte eggs. "I didn't—"
"I know, I know, you didn't do it. But how do I really know?" Buffy asked.
A lot of responses came to his head. Spike batted each of them down as quickly as they came. She looked like she desperately wanted an answer. And that was when it hit him. Buffy really did want to trust him, but she didn't know how. He'd always assumed she just wasn't trying. That she could, she just wouldn't. Seeing how wrong he was completely deflated him. He must have looked like a fish with his mouth opening and closing every few seconds.
"And how can you trust me?" She asked.
Spike shook head at the change in subject. "Trust you to do what?"
"To not stake you. How do you know that one day I'm not going to decide to carry out my sacred duty?"
"I don't."
Buffy stood up to face him. "That's exactly what I'm talking about. How can we go into this without knowing what's going to happen?"
Spike chuckled. "We're not soddin' soothslayers, pet. Nobody knows what's gonna happen in the future. This isn't a slayer/vampire thing. This is a man/woman thing. Joyce didn't know your dad was gonna cheat on her. If she did, you wouldn't be here right now."
Buffy shook her head, mostly in frustration because she knew he had a point. She said, "But we have every reason to believe that this won't work." She threw her hands up. "So you're the one. Is there really a happily ever after anymore?"
Spike sighed, exasperated with the discussion. It didn't feel like they were resolving anything. She would make every excuse she could find so he decided to hand her the final piece. "I know 'm not good enough for you, luv."
"What? That's not what I'm saying Spike. I don't like…don't put me on a pedestal."
He began to pace. "It's the truth and you know it. I'm not putting you anywhere but where you are right now. And right now, you're a right bloody mess. But even with your faults, I'm still not good enough for you. And that's what this is all about isn't it?" He stopped his erratic movements and just looked at her. His eyes were begging for her to understand his heart. "But I want to be. With every bit of my soulless being, I want to be enough for you. And I wish that counted for something." Spike paused, waiting for a response and continued when there was none. He was so tired. "I don't know. I'm gonna stop pretending I understand anything anymore. Maybe you'd be crazy for trusting me. Maybe I'm crazy for trusting you. But maybe you should just stop being so damn scared of this."
Buffy's reply was caught in her throat as she looked at him. He wasn't pacing anymore. But even at a standstill, looking about as worn out as she'd ever seen him, Spike looked like a spring, tightly coiled. There was so much energy in him. She wondered how it got there. She doubted William (the real version of William she'd had squirmed out of him one night) ever had that much energy. If Buffy remembered just one thing from her chemistry class it was that energy couldn't be created or destroyed, but converted from one form to another.
She had felt some of that energy leave him and go into her when they slept together. Buffy knew because she had never felt that sort of heat with anybody. She didn't have a vast amount of comparisons, only the one night each with Angel and Parker and then her time with Riley. But she had never even imagined half of the things she and Spike did with each other. She had never felt that hot with any of them.
Buffy thought of the times in the past few months. The hours she had spent under, on top, around him. The way his hard body felt under her fingertips. The way his hair felt both hard and soft when she ran her hands through it. The way his skin tasted on her tongue. Her heart began to beat faster. Buffy knew he could sense it, but she didn't care.
She was never like that before. It must have been Spike. He had changed her on a very real level. And here was the kicker: she didn't want to go back. That Buffy might have been safe, but she was also so weary. And that was much more dangerous to a slayer any day. If she ever became that world-weary again, she'd be a second away from the grave. Now, she wanted to live. Maybe Spike wasn't safe, but at least she wanted to live, and that counted for something. It counted for a lot.
Buffy hands almost itched to touch him; to allow that electrical energy of his to seep into her again. She gave in and took one of his hands in hers. She could feel him physically relax and marveled at how her calm energy transferred into him. Chemistry had never been this much fun. She felt another flush of heat run through her.
He looked a little puzzled at the changes in her. "What are you thinking of?"
"Your nipples," Buffy murmured without thinking. She jerked her hand back and flushed again, this time entirely from embarrassment.
Spike smirked. "They are things of beauty, I've been told."
"By who?" Buffy's eyes narrowed.
"Jealous, pet?"
"Never," she replied. For once, Spike didn't call her on her lie and merely gave her a little smile, the hint of sadness around his mouth not allowing a full grin.
Buffy's eyes began tingling and she had to look away before he caught on to the little droplets of saline at the corners of her eyes. Oh, she was in trouble. She could never hurt him again, could she? Not when it hurt her too. How had it come to this? She thought she had only invited him into her bed. How had he gotten into her heart?
"It counts for something." She admitted in a whisper. She looked back up at him and saw his questioning gaze. "I know you're trying. I did see it and I kinda ignored it. I'm sorry I cut you down so much and denied everything you did. Acknowledging it meant making your feelings real and this thing between us… I'm sorry."
"It's okay Slayer. I din't hold it against you. I wasn't the most supportive bloke either. All that darkness stuff." Spike actually looked apologetic. "It couldn't have helped you much. And I'm sorry for that."
Buffy shook her head. She didn't want his pardon. But she knew she was already forgiven before she even said sorry. At times like these, she wondered what she did to deserve that kind of love. He had his jackass foot-in-mouth tendencies. But the side she got to see, the side she doubted many people had seen, could be so…sweet. She knew he definitely wouldn't like that word, but he was. Spike could love like nobody she'd ever known and that fact had always comforted her. When she found out he loved her, Buffy knew that it meant his complete and utter devotion. She had seen the way he was with Drusilla. And she had used that weakness (or was it a strength?) against him. Buffy sighed; she was sorry for that too.
"You were right Spike; I'm scared of having a real relationship with you. But mostly I'm scared that I already do. And if there's anything I know about my relationships, it's that the guy always leaves." She struggled against the water accumulating in her eyes, but gravity could only be fought for so long. They spilled over her cheeks. She brushed them off in frustration. "See, tears!" She said pointing at them. "If I'm this upset now, imagine when you actually leave."
Spike reached and brushed off the last tear with his thumb. He continued to rub the spot on her cheek softly. "Know this Buffy: I will never leave you. The only way you could get rid of me is by killing me."
She sniffled. "That won't make me happy either."
"Then I'll make sure it never comes to that." He promised and then asked, "So what do you really want, love?"
She looked up into his eyes and searched them. At that moment, she let go. Spike was right. There was no way to know what would happen in the future. And she had told Angel herself: there are no guarantees in life. Buffy wanted this; she wanted Spike. Maybe it was time to just take him, fully, and let the future take care of itself.
Buffy gave the question careful deliberation. "I just don't want to rush into this…again. I do care about you, Spike. You, you've become important to me. I want us to…be together."
Spike raised an eyebrow, half in question and half in suggestion.
"Not like that. Well… Yeah, like that. But mostly I want to get to know you. I want to learn to trust you," She added, with a determined look. "I mean, the sex was great, but I want to make this about something else."
"So, you want to, what, bloody date?" Spike asked, dubiously.
"It sounds stupid, I know, after all we've done with each other. Mainly though, I just want to take this slow."
"We've never done it slow, have we?" He arched an eyebrow suggestively.
"Spike!"
"No, I know, luv. We'll go slow. I'll ask you out; buy you flowers, and the like." He began to step in even closer to her. "Take you out to dinner someplace fancy. And we can talk rubbish about our hopes and dreams." There was a light touch of his fingertips on her cheek and Spike smoothly brushed the hair away from her face. He leaned in to her and spoke softly in her ear, his voice thick and velvety. "Then take you home, where I'll slowly lay you down on my bed. I'll worship your body with my tongue, slowly. And when I enter you, so slowly, you'll weep." He pressed his lips to her ear.
Buffy tried not to blush or raise her heart rate. But there was his proximity. And then the promise in those words. She failed miserably. She saw him smirk as he noticed the effect he was having on her. Buffy smacked him on his shoulder. His smirk became a broad grin. It was too infectious. She couldn't help but smile back and placed her hand back on his shoulder, this time rubbing the muscle through his t-shirt in a caress. "I think I'll like your dates." She admitted and she worked her way up his neck. Her fingers ran through the hair at his nape.
Spike rolled into her caress and held her at her waist. "You sure you wanna do this here? With your mates right next door?"
She moved her other hand to the back of his neck. "Well, they haven't come in yet. But it would be just my luck they'd come in when we're making out."
She let out a little sigh of protest as Spike stepped back from her embrace. "We are telling 'em, right?"
"Huh?"
"Your mates? We're telling them we're together. We are together, right?"
Buffy had a look of incredulity on her face. "I can't believe—"
"That's not right, you know! Tell a guy all the things he has to do to make this work, but the one thing I really want, you won't do. If mmmpphf."
Buffy used the only tactic that could stop Spike from talking when he got going. She kissed him. It was hard and short, but it got the job done. "I know it's not right," she said. "That's why we're telling them. We could tell them now if you want, but I haven't kissed you for several hours now and I'm going through some withdrawals."
Spike looked pleased. "Withdrawals, luv? You've gone longer without kissing me before." He pointed out.
"Oh I had them before, but now I have no reason to not give in. But really, less with the talking, more with the kissing."
Spike obliged and leaned down to capture her lips with his. Her body sagged in relief; maybe she was addicted to his kisses. He touched her lips with his tongue as he pulled her in closer. She clutched at his arms as the kiss grew deeper. She rubbed her thumbs across his nipples through his shirt. He moaned into the kiss and shuddered. She felt victorious until he did the same to her and she shuddered.
As if reading from the same script, they both slowed. The kiss took on a leisurely pace as they explored each other fully. Buffy decided she was an addict. She twisted her tongue with his again and again. She could kiss him forever. He always tasted smoky and sweet. Today the sweet was stronger. He tasted like…
Buffy gasped for air as she pulled back. "Hmm," She murmured. "Somebody stole my chocolate." She plunged her tongue back to lick in his mouth. "Yummy." She pulled back, suddenly all business. "You didn't eat all of it did you? Where's the rest?"
"What! I'm not more important than chocolate?"
"Nothing is, stupid boy." She twisted in his arms to search for her secret hiding place.
Spike spun her back around and found her lips again. All thoughts of chocolate and anything else for that matter disappeared from her mind.
A squeal from Dawn and a groan from Xander finally pulled her attention away. They both turned to the door and saw the Scoobies standing there, varying degrees of surprise on their faces.
Xander moaned, "Oh God, take my eyes now. I don't need them anymore. They've been burned through."
Spike looked ready to make a scathing remark and Buffy looked sharply at him. She laced her fingers through his and turned to her friends. "Spike and I are together now." She declared and stopped there. She didn't know what else to say.
Tara merely smiled. Willow looked torn, wanting to ask questions but also wanting to be a supportive friend. She finally just nodded and said, "Okay." Xander still looked upset, muttering to himself. He had opened his mouth to speak again when Anya slapped her hand on it. "That does good things for my seating charts," she said and dragged Xander away. "We have to go home. This thing took away some valuable orgasm time."
Dawn ran up to her sister, giddy as she hugged her. "This is so great! You guys are so meant to be! I knew that even before the spell!" Spike smiled in amusement and didn't pull away as she hugged him too.
Tara came to give Buffy a hug too. She whispered, "I'm glad you figured out what you wanted. You won't believe our clear your aura looks."
Anya stuck her head back in the room, "Are you guys leaving? I want to lock up."
They all packed their things and headed out. Buffy noticed Xander in his car, banging his head on the steering wheel. She shook her head and hoped he'd come around soon.
Spike took one of her hands. "Let me walk my two favorite girls home," He said and pulled her closer. They began to walk in the direction of her house. Dawn's joy was palpable as she practically skipped next to them.
Though Spike's arm was slung low on her waist, he talked to Dawn the entire walk home. Something about friends and boys, Buffy wasn't really paying attention. She was too busy feeling…happy. It had been so long, she had almost forgotten what it felt like to be happy. She grinned stupidly and unconsciously squeezed Spike's waist. He turned to her and smiled, leaned down to give a small peck on the lips, and went back to his conversation with Dawn.
Buffy's grin remained on her face. It was a relief to be able to give in like that. It was a relief that she could touch him without looking around for her friends first. They could just be wherever and whenever they wanted.
She was ready to fall in love with this man (if she wasn't already). And for once, she wasn't afraid.
The End