"Crack is Good" and the general
sexiness/wrongness of "Crack is Good" is completely
copyright Orin Drake 2006. The ideas for this are blamed
entirely upon Cosmotwitch for putting the idea of Cloud + Reno + Zack
Crack into my head, and "Snap" (a.k.a. Orin's insane
husband) for the initial challenge: "Write some yaoi about
dropping the remote in front of a video game console." All
characters contained within are owned (and sometimes "pwned")
by Square-Enix. Not mine. I've tried and failed to make
them mine. Believe me.
Background: Could there ever possibly be a good reason
for this? It was... a challenge. In a lot of ways.
Oh boy. Takes place at some AU point where Cloud is around 15
and he and Zack were still in training together... and Reno was
hangin' around... like Reno would probably do. I'm not saying
this makes sense. So don't pretend it does.
Crack is Good
by
Orin Drake
It was Saturday night.
And everybody was out. Everybody.
Except Cloud, of course. No one ever invited him out... not
that he'd accept. He'd heard enough stories from Zack about
what happened when everyone got together and got drunk--someone
always wound up pantless in an alley in the morning. Strangely,
that person never seemed to be Zack...
No matter. At least everyone being out meant no one would
bother him. Being alone was okay. He was used to it.
And really, it wasn't so bad when one had a nice new video game
console in the room, all to themselves.
--Or so he'd thought, until he'd heard a knock at the door.
Sure he could have ignored it...
Actually, he couldn't have. The knocking seemed to shift
rather quickly into someone insanely slamming their whole body into
the door... and only one person would pull something like that.
"Reno!"
Cloud shouted at the door. "Give it a rest!"
Silence. The kid was fine with being acknowledged. Not
that he wouldn't have gladly continued if the door hadn't opened when
it did. He gave a chuckle when he gained a glance inside.
"Nice jammies."
The blond glared. "Well, no one was supposed to be here.
I thought I could spend the evening in comfort, thanks."
Yeah they were old and worn, but... he liked his moogle pajamas.
He just... didn't usually like to show them off. "You
wanted something?"
"Yeah." Reno sloughed off the non-invitation.
"I felt like wandering around. Got bored. And I know
you've got games in there."
"And what do I get out of it?" Cloud dared to ask, knowing
it was never a decent exchange.
"Dinner?" the redhead suggested, holding up the plate
wrapped in foil that he'd been hiding.
--Well. That was tempting, despite the fact that inviting
Reno anywhere was always a bad idea. He stood aside and
closed the door after boy and food were safely inside.
Without waiting, the foil was torn off. Cloud peered over at...
a plate of fries. Drenched in ketchup. "That's
your dinner?"
Reno just grinned and shrugged. "You got something better,
huh?"
"Well...
no..." Honestly, he hadn't even thought about food until
then. Though, since it was mentioned... he was kinda hungry...
"So."
The redhead interrupted. "Where are your video games?"
Cloud's eyes
narrowed. "Still bored, huh?"
"Yeah! And as a guest, I really should be entertained."
It seemed rational enough.
The blond just shook his head and went about what he'd been doing
before his "guest" had arrived. Televisions were
found in every room... but gaming systems weren't allowed. So,
obviously, it had to be hidden under a mattress. Cloud went
about pulling out the controllers and setting everything up, having
learned from the best exactly what he needed to do to override the
"security features" on the TV that weren't supposed to
allow that sort of thing.
Speaking of "the best"--there was an astoundingly familiar
knock. Another knock. Only that time, Reno had the
gaul to answer it himself.
"Hey!" Cloud protested, knowing it was useless. It
just felt better. It wasn't as if he didn't know who was on the
other side of the door, anyway.
"Reno!" came the surprised yell from outside. "Hey
Spike! You having a party and didn't invite me?"
He shook his head and sighed at Zack. "I thought you were
both supposed to be out."
His friend gave him a well-faked hurt expression. "What,
don't want us here?"
Cloud rolled his eyes. "I didn't expect you to be back
until someone dragged you here. Literally. Too drunk to
crawl."
Zack
perked up again when he saw the gaming console all set up and ready
for bet-taking and competition. "Well, yeah. I was
going to but there wasn't room in the car and... well, nevermind.
One Saturday night with my best friend won't kill me!"
"Gee. Thanks." Said friend mumbled, handing out
the controllers and going through the games.
"Oh." As usual, the wild-haired boy realized his
mistake too late. "I didn't mean it that way! I like
hangin' out with you, Spike!"
"And what am I?" Reno called, lazily sprawled out on the
floor in front of the TV, eating the fries slowly.
"A real fun wanna-be Turk with french fries! Can I
have some?" Zack nearly pounced on top of him for the food.
"Geez, yes."
The boy replied, pushing him away. "Just... relax, there."
The oldest of the
three (in physical age only) sat back with a pleased expression...
and a couple of fries. "C'mon, Spike! We got gaming
to do!"
"I'm
getting there." Cloud mumbled back, trying to get the TV
on. It was a delicate process--of hitting the remote button
several times in a row, hard enough to get it to work. Really,
the best security feature on a Shin-Ra television set was the fact it
didn't turn on all that often. He moved back a bit...
then further forward... then directly in front of the censor.
He even shook the remote, several times, and pondered drop-kicking it
for his own amusement.
Oops. Dammit, dropped the remote. He thought nothing of
it, really; he was clumsy like that. He bent over quickly to
pick it back up.
A
number of things happened at that instant that he wasn't aware of.
The look that the two boys behind him exchanged, for instance.
The simultaneous dropping of controllers. The rise in heart
rate. The many conversations had about him before that
moment.
Zack did it.
He broke... and took matters into his own hands. Literally.
Cloud was so surprised
that he couldn't even yelp. Two very warm hands had settled
over his ass.
All
things became stillness. Totally unmoving. No one
breathed, no one blinked. Even Reno was motionless and gaping.
"...Zack..?"
came a very timid voice from the blond, still bent over and reaching
toward the remote.
"...Yes..?" he tried very hard not to sound as surprised as
he felt.
Another long
moment of silence stretched over the room before Cloud found his
voice again. "Is there a reason you're grabbing my ass?"
A good question, he
had to admit. "Yes."
At least the pause was shorter that time. "Could you tell
me what that reason is? Please? Now?"
Zack shrugged--but did not move his hands. "Because it...
seemed like the right thing to do."
Clearly, they were getting nowhere with conversation. Cloud
glanced over his shoulder in Reno's direction to see if he had
a better explanation... but only found him watching on with a half
amused, half fascinated expression on his face, eating french fries
one at a time. Alright, no help there. He looked over his
other shoulder at the boy groping him and tried to come up with an
appropriate question. "Why would that ever seem
like the right thing to do?"
Even with a mild and very foreign look of embarrassment playing over
his face, Zack managed the hint of a grin. "I dunno.
It just... seemed like a good opportunity."
Finally, the blond stood up straight and shifted away from the
touch... but had absolutely no idea of what to say or do next.
He must have been blushing by then... and dammit but he was...
confused. Really, utterly baffled by recent events. Or
maybe in shock. Possibly all of the above and then some.
Yeah, probably that last one.
When the boy didn't speak or turn around, Zack actually became
worried. "Uh, Spike..? Look, man... I..."
"Pft."
Reno made a scoffing sound, placing his plate of fries safely on the
bunk next to him and wiping his hands on his pants. "Dude."
He addressed Zack, cool as ever. "If he had a problem with
it, I think he would have knocked your head off. Cloud's kinda
quiet, but he's got that whole 'rage under the surface' thing going
on."
The other
two boys marveled at the redhead's occasional lucidity. It was
always... surprising. And usually pegged him as a bit more
aware of what was going on than anyone actually liked him to be.
Cloud blinked at the
sudden realization that no one in the room seemed surprised by Zack's
actions. --Not even himself. That was enough reason to
remain silent.
As if
just realizing the same thing, Zack's blank face slowly changed into
a rather... feral expression. It was a damn good thing his best
friend wasn't looking just then; he'd probably have run off and never
come back, dreams of SOLDIER be damned. Reno had a point,
surprisingly enough. They gave each other a too-knowing look as
the blond continued to blend into the television.
Reno moved first, off the ground and pulling Cloud against his body
in one fluid motion. Good thing the kid was too shocked to
react; it would have made the redhead's next move a hell of a lot
harder. Somehow he'd turned the blond and gotten him to kneel
in front of him while kneeling himself, knees meeting--Cloud's wrists
firmly in his grasp so he didn't get punched. The
Turk-in-training pushed his luck to the limit when he transferred
both potential weapons to one hand, tugging a controller away from
the console with the other and looping the cord numerous times around
the trapped boy's wrists.
Cloud's eyes were absolutely enormous as he tried to comprehend the
events that had lead up to being bound and pulled against Reno's
body. Even more shocking were the low, smooth words purred
directly behind him. "Give me one reason we shouldn't fuck
you straight to paradise, Spike."
He was pretty sure his heart stopped. Or exploded.
Something had to have ceased to exist in that moment, because
nothing was the same. He fought to understand anything,
trying to choose between catatonic numbness and actual
comprehension. He wasn't ready! ...Was he..? No, of
course not. Fantasies and what was actually happening were
completely different things... weren't they..? The only
response he found himself able to express was quite mechanical.
"Lubrication!"
He blushed immediately upon speaking the word--but he knew being
aware of that much might save him from a situation he did not want to
be in. "There's not even any lotion in the bathroom!"
Not that he was at all going to admit to why...
especially not when the smirk he'd caught in Reno's eyes before he
looked away told him that it wasn't a secret.
For one tiny sliver of a moment, Zack seemed to see his point.
Right up until his eyes lit up again with a brilliant idea. He
motioned at Reno for the plate of fries... and ketchup.
Unfortunately, Cloud saw--and somehow immediately knew what was being
planned. He struggled, moaning with disbelief and embarrassment
and... and just the sheer possibilities... "No, Zack!
That's--no! Let go, Reno!"
"Hey, we're training to be SOLDIERS, y'know." Zack
grinned and moved closer, dipping and then showing off his
ketchup-drenched fingers like they were weapons. "Gotta go
with whatever you have on hand."
"Besides," Reno threw in, "You're so fucking cute when
you're scared, Cloud."
"He's not supposed to be scared, asshole."
Zack teased his friend--but with serious intention behind it.
Of course... when he actually looked at his best friend... Oh,
fuck. "Cloud?" he tried, softly. "Is
this okay, Cloud?"
The blond was shaking. Just a little, but it was obvious.
And he knew it was obvious, which made him shake more and blush and
wish he could just crawl under the floor and die.
"Hey..." Zack's voice softened even past what his friend
was used to. Calm and gentle and... loving, in a way. He
carefully lifted Cloud's head with two cautious fingers beneath his
chin until their eyes met. "We'll stop now if you really
don't want this. I'd never force you into anything.
Okay?"
He
swallowed hard... still shaking, still blushing... but nodded.
He trusted Zack, and whoever Zack trusted. And, really... he
wasn't exactly opposed to little bits of safe experimentation.
It had just been... so surprising. Strange and new and
exciting, but... yes, a little scary. He knew his friend didn't
intend to hurt him, but he was still nervous. That, and he
didn't know Reno well enough to know exactly what his intentions
were.
"Here."
The redhead spoke up as if he'd sensed he was being thought of.
He released his hold on Cloud, uncoiling the controller cord from his
wrists. "Feel better now?"
Not really... but he sure as hell wasn't going to say so.
"I... uh..."
"Great." Reno interrupted, looking strangely...
hungry. "You can thank me by taking off your shirt.
Whaddya say?"
Cloud already had chills running over his spine. The request,
oddly enough, made him feel... warmer. As did venturing a
peripheral glance at Zack--fingers still coated with ketchup and a
very interested look on his face. Well. He couldn't very
well back out, could he... Slowly, he reached for the hem of
his moogle night shirt, not daring to meet the redhead's admiring
eyes as he pulled it over his head and let it fall to the side.
Reno only nodded
approval, not betraying his "exceptional cool" one bit.
His hands could be surprisingly delicate when he wanted them to be;
they tugged Cloud's pajama pants down and off of his hips with a
distinct carefulness, tugging as much as he could reach from his
angle and with the boy still kneeling in front of him--before Zack
grabbed and pulled them the rest of the way off with his free hand,
Cloud helpfully stepping out of each leg.
The blonde shivered with the sudden chill--not to mention the thrill
of the two fully-dressed boys watching with held breath. He was
still nervous, still blushing... but he was so ready to do more.
"C'mere."
He heard the redhead whisper breathily--and he obeyed. Still
kneeling, Reno spread his legs to pull Cloud's body fully against his
own, both of them shivering at the feel of rough fabric against soft
flesh.
One of Reno's
hands went to the back of the blond's head, running through his hair
and finally grasping it lightly at the back. But the other hand
slid further, trailing down his tailbone, reaching between the soft,
pale globes... and holding them apart for the other boy.
It was enough to make Cloud moan quite loudly. Just so... and
it... and too... oh.
"That's what you call Turk efficiency." Zack quipped,
breathing hard at the sight.
Reno winked. "Y'ain't seen nothin' yet."
That was exactly what the wild-haired youth was hoping. He
crawled forward, taking his sweet time as he ran the lightest touch
of his lips over his best friend's shoulder. When that got a
soft moan and some notable trembling, he continued his assault with
teeth and tongue until even Reno had begun panting, watching closely
as he continued to hold the boy on display.
And glad Zack was for it. Just as he let his teeth nip a little
harder at the blonde's shoulder blade, he very carefully began to
press a ketchup-smothered finger against the entrance he sought.
He heard the gasp, felt muscles bunch underneath him--softly, he
kissed the shell of Cloud's ear to calm him. "Relax,
Spike. I promise, it'll feel good in a minute."
He hadn't wanted to say it... wasn't even sure he'd wanted to think
it, but... it already felt good. Too good. Much better
than when he did it himself... yet another admission he was painfully
unwilling to share.
But Reno knew. The bastard knew everything. "Bet you
prefer it this way, eh Cloud?" he whispered in the boy's other
ear. "Zack's a fucking miracle worker with those fingers,
ain't he?"
Lightly circling his single finger inside of the gasping blond, Zack
gave a bright grin. "You make me sound like a slut."
"You are a
slut." Reno teased--his voice gravelly and still breathing
softly into Cloud's ear very much on purpose.
Zack definitely felt the muscles clench at that--but not in a
negative way. Certainly not after that elongated moan he'd torn
free by finding just the right spot inside...
Oh, there it was again. Cloud hadn't even known he was the one
making the noises until the mild pain of the second finger being
worked into him knocked him out of his complete revelry. He
knew he was gasping, couldn't help rocking into the boy on front of
him--
Reno's moans
were something else entirely. Cloud's were absolutely
delicious, no doubt, but Reno's... it was the voice of a filthy
angel. "Dammit, Cloud... mmm... oh, harder..."
"You
aren't supposed to cum first." Zack teased, pressing that
glorious spot inside of the blond again. Having the two
of them moan at once was almost enough to get him to finish
way too early. Not that he wouldn't have been ready to go again
in seconds if they kept making those sounds.
"One more..." Cloud heard Zack's warning in his ear before
a third finger started to edge inside. That had started to
hurt--he'd never tried anything... that big... but the lips and teeth
and tongue returning to his shoulders and neck made it a hell of a
lot easier to take.
Finally satisfied that his friend was properly stretched, the fingers
were very slowly removed. Zack wasted absolutely no time
pulling his own clothing off, pressing his full naked body against
Cloud's without warning.
That got some wonderful sounds out of the blond as his eyes fluttered
shut, leaning back and allowing Reno the freedom to be the last to
strip. "Watch." Cloud heard his friend order,
finding it hard to obey--but once his eyes were open, he understood.
Maybe it wasn't
technically a strip tease... but Reno absolutely knew what he was
doing. Not an ounce of shame; he pulled both shirt and jacket
off at once, then spent some time exploring his own perfect, pale
chest with adept fingers. The button of his fly was next,
zipper sliding down far too slowly before he took himself in hand and
moaned with a couple of careful strokes. He met the eyes of his
audience with a knowing smirk before he finally rid himself of
everything, collapsing gracefully back into a kneel in front of his
latest conquest.
"Actually..." Zack rasped, closing his eyes and doing
everything in his power to control himself. "Why don't we
switch. I want to see his face when he comes."
Cloud shivered and bit his lip so the moan wouldn't turn into a
squeak. The thought of... and... oh...
The other two shifted, changing places. First contact came when
Reno's hands rested on Cloud's hips with no hint of uncertainty--but
he went no further. He could wait if he had to.
Zack chuckled quietly at the blond's expression: mouth open, eyes
closed, absolutely wanton. "Are you ready, Cloud?"
He swallowed, somehow
gaining the courage to open his eyes--met only with a pleasant,
understanding smile in the eyes of his best friend. "Yes."
Pure honesty.
Reno
didn't wait. It wasn't that he was rough, simply unyielding; he
positioned himself against Cloud's entrance. It was a tease
while he waited for Zack to pass him the plate of fries, the concept
finally making him laugh even as he smoothed ketchup all over his
length. "Man. I hope all SOLDIERS are this
creative."
Zack
grinned before taking a moment to distract the blond... and himself.
He hadn't planned for that deep, breath-stealing kiss--but damn was
he glad to indulge. He was even surprised (and gratefully so)
when Cloud returned the kiss only seconds later. It distracted
them both right up until the loud gasp that erupted when the head of
Reno's erection managed to push just inside.
"Easy, Spike..." Zack whispered against the other boy's
lips, not willing to let go so soon. "Just relax."
He continued the kiss as if it had never been interrupted, making it
impossibly more distracting by lightly letting his tongue play
over Cloud's lips... then pressing between them, seeking entrance
into the mouth he'd been dreaming about for too long.
Taking advantage of the sudden kiss-caused limpness in nearly the
blond's entire body, Reno rocked forward slowly but unrelenting.
He was as careful as his libido let him be, but refused to stop until
he was entirely settled within the tight heat. It would be
murder, he knew that... but he had to stay still and let the kid
adjust. "'Kay... Zack..."
He took his cue, almost not hearing the redhead over the rush of his
own blood as he ravaged those incredibly soft lips... He almost
hated to end the kiss. But then... there was a good reason to
do so. He took a moment to catch his breath before asking,
"Y'ever done this before?"
"N-no..." Cloud answered, voice rough with anticipation.
Even the nervousness was bleeding away, arousal taking over
entirely. Any pain that Reno may have caused was forgotten as
soon as it had registered. Slowly, he let himself be positioned
on his hands and knees--coming face to face with Zack's rather
obvious need. He didn't even wait to be told what to do,
immediately running a tongue from root to tip--then back.
The unexpected pleasure almost made his legs collapse beneath him
entirely. The sounds he made in that moment of surprise and
bliss rivaled the other two, making them both shiver. "Oh,
Holy... Cloud..."
The blond allowed a quick, satisfied smile before attacking in full.
His lips parted, teeth cautiously keeping their distance as he
wrapped his mouth around Zack and delicately tasted him. Well,
alright, it wasn't... terribly pleasant, per se... but he
didn't really care. It felt good to make him moan like
that, and it felt good to have his friend's fingers thread
through his hair, not to control but to find a place to hang on for
the ride.
It was all
Reno could take, frankly. He pulled back in a slow arc, having
at least the presence of mind to look around for Cloud's sweet spot
before cautiously pushing back in. He didn't want Zack to
experience teeth, of course... but he just couldn't wait any longer.
Lucky for Zack, Cloud
understood. Even with the odd, tingling pleasure-pain, he was
able to control himself, using his tongue to stroke hard as he
sucked. The sounds his friend emitted only made him bolder,
reaching one hand up to slowly explore a leg, then a thigh.
"Oh, fuck..." Zack nearly whimpered. He'd expected
the blond to be a lot more timid. Not that he could find any
portion of himself complaining.
Reno had similar thoughts... or would have, if he'd been capable of
thought at all at that point. Even through the slow motions,
not yet having been quite able to ignore his own needs long enough to
get to Cloud's, it was... so good... "Mmm... oooohh... you
should... get a piece of this, Zack..."
He smiled at Reno appreciatively. "Hey, I'm happy here.
Cloud looks happy here." He chuckled through a sharp hiss
as his best friend moaned hard around his length--seemed Reno had
found the proper spot after all. "You give better
handjobs, anyway."
The boy between them would have loved to demand proof of that by
having them compete... but his mouth was a little full. That,
and Reno's hand had snaked around to prove it.
Time was lost. Cloud was lost, as well--but pleasantly so.
He was learning technique he'd only read about, trying things he
never thought he'd dare and getting noises out of his friend that he
was relatively certain most of his female partners never would have
managed. Maybe it was a matter of pride... or maybe it was the
occasional mumble on Zack's part that seemed to be part of a mental
conversation with himself about how he should quit the women
entirely. Reno said not a word, but kept making those
incredible sounds as he slowly built speed, stroking the boy
beneath him in time. The first orgasm for the night was, for
all of them, transcendent. Not that the second or third were
anything to scoff at.
Sephiroth had been
walking the halls in quite a mood early on Sunday morning. It
was the weekend, so naturally nobody was there.
Nobody but him. Having to deal with stupid, mundane
things like phone calls regarding noises. No one that he
had called about the matter had responded. So it was up to
him. Clearly. Someone would die on Monday morning.
He used his key card
on the door mentioned in each and every complaint. Within
seconds his security override took effect and it opened--
It wasn't the three unconscious, naked boys sprawled on the floor
that bothered him in the least. Or the fact there was a gaming
system, against regulation, hidden in the room. It was the mess
they'd left in their wake.
Ketchup. Everywhere.
As if I weren't going to Hell before I wrote this... Wow. I never thought I was capable of something like this. And I bet you didn't either.
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