My Name is Ijuuin Enzan: (Chapter 1: Behind your mask of Indifference)

"If I have been cleverer then I wouldn't have been back to you at all. Now it's my turn, to declare again: You are a mere distraction, another worthless mortal. I don't give a damn, Enzan."

That was it.

The smirk on Blues face, it was eerie.

Sure, Netto take Blues as one of his best friends, but the bond of friendship wasn't as great as the one he shared with Rockman.

Maybe that was why.

Why he only grimaced and shuddered, and let the cold inferno run down his spine, while on the other hand, Enzan fainted silently without another uttered word.

"That's why, huh?" He asked the boy, whose head was nosed in his shirt, sleeping soundly.

"You told the first blow, but you didn't expect that to happen again."

He sighed, softly ruffling Enzan's hair. As if to answer the pat on his head, the boy shivered. He gently pulled duvet to cover both of their necks.

"It was not your fault, Enzan. You shouldn't have ended up in here."

Here. In a small room and walls so white that it seemed blinding. A small wooden bed, with very little space underneath where Enzan had most of his 'treasures' hidden. And a door always locked. A few doses of sedative drugs each day whenever calming down seemed impossible……

The psychiatric hospital.

It is a whole week since the 'incident' has happened, and the antisocial boy hadn't spoke a single word.

Not that Netto didn't like the silence; it fitted Enzan.

But it shouldn't have been here.

The darkloids were defeated; Dr. Regal was gone. They should be celebrating. Blues should be here. And… "You should be here…"

"You know, Enzan, how strictly the nurses restricted me from staying overnight with you? It is just lucky dad have pulled a few strings…" Netto yawned, holding onto the cold hands of said boy. Who didn't stir as Netto's world began to blur.

He was exhausted. He had only been 'taking care' of Enzan for a day, but it was then he saw why it was necessary for the locked doors and sedative drugs. Netto had tried to explain things; anything to the boy, but the words didn't seem to reach Enzan's senses. Various words unsettled him, and all kinds of communication were blocked.

Actually, not all of it. There was still a way: Writing.

Not that Enzan could reply, but writing while listening to soft music reassured him, and he could fluently express everything; the horrors he had seen, the tears he had tried to captivate with futile struggles… And the blood he had shed, both physically and mentally, for Blues.

His heart clenched at the name; Blues hasn't known. Blues hasn't known what had happened to Enzan; as being the Vice Precedent of the IPC Company, Enzan's health states were hushed, as not to attract the media, as even in the hospital, his name and personal details weren't recorded. But then, why did it had to be Enzan?

He gently stroked the older boy's cheek, who, in return, snuggled deeper into their blankets. "Those things you wrote… Doesn't sound like you…" He mumbled, feeling sleep take its toll.

Those poems Enzan had wrote, hidden under the bed… And one, he could remember particularly clearly… One that sounded like a defeated warrior, isolated… But angry.

"My hope was soaring across the sky,

like embers in darkness, sure to die.

I'll avenge my death one day,

Before fading far away,

To the concealed heart where one would cry…"

For these, Netto knew Enzan could still feel, even if though he cannot tell.

-----

A blue navi was having quite a hard time waking up his Net opt, as he was trying to keep his… yelling…down as not to disturb the other occupant of the room.

Netto groggily cracked open an eye. Sunlight came pouring into his insulted iris.

"Nnnnn……" He slurred as he clasped a pillow over the PET lying beside him.

"Netto-kun, you are not at home! You have come over to the hospital to see Enzan yesterday." Even though Rockman's voice was muffled under the pillow, they had their effect.

Netto shot up, suddenly wide-awake. Enzan? Oh yea…

"That sure makes sense," The thought was swept away as soon as it had popped up in his mind.

He looked around the room, but Enzan was nowhere to be seen.

He yawned. "Then I guess he's…" Sure enough, soft shuffling sounds from under the bed.

Netto lowered himself onto the carpeted floor, "Enzan?" He asked, squinting to see in the misty darkness under the bed.

The shuffling sounds halted. There was a few seconds of silence, and a pale hand tugged out a teddy bear and Enzan hesitantly crept out of his hiding space.

Deep sapphire eyes stared at Netto. For a second, the skunk haired boy seemed to understand. Then, he dragged the teddy to a corner of the room.

Netto walked over to him. "Hey Enzan, Meiru, Yaito and the others are coming over to see you."

No response.

Enzan didn't even seem to acknowledge the fact that Netto was right next to him. The blue eyes were strained on the stuffed toy with a blank stare.

Netto took Enzan's hand in his. That was the easy way to get his attention, according to the psychiatrists.

Enzan looked at him, but his gaze didn't seem to focus. It seemed to penetrate through his eyes, to the back of his head, the wall, and to the world beyond.

"AND they are gonna bring CURRY!" Netto declared, hoping that it will cheer him up; what's so funny? He cheered up!

Enzan continued to stare, but the blank look was replaced with one of serenity.

Ever so gently pulled him to his feet, Netto leaded him to the centre of the room so where the pencils and papers laid. And that was when the door flew open.

Netto stared, and gaped, as Enzan took a step backward, a genuinely anxious look on his face.

There, at the doorway, stood the one and only president of the IPC Company, the man, none other than Enzan's father.

"Enzan." He greeted, but his voice was hard, and Netto felt goose bumps just feeling the suppressed fury the man seemed to be trying to control.

He suddenly noticed Enzan was clutching to his shirt tightly with his hand, and the older boy's legs had long ago given away.

"Hikari, please have a walk outside, and stretch your limps. I hope to have some private time with Enzan, as to understand and communicate with my son."

He smiled, but anyone with a brain, (yea, even him) could see that it was forced. Disappointment seemed to be raging inside the man's veins.

Netto looked at the hand still clutching his shirt, and a sudden urge to protect the boy burned up in his guts. Without thinking, he blurted out a sentence, frank and childish and even a little insulting in its simplicity: "What's wrong if I'm in here with him?"

The little patience wore off the man completely.

"Out." Ijuuin-san hissed. His hand was curled up into a fist, almost crunching the doorknob.

Netto gulped, walked out of the room, all the time aware of Enzan's terrified gaze boring into his back and the PET that was still lying on the nightstand.

He didn't have a choice, did he? A father visiting his son and wants some private time… That was reasonable.

It was when Netto closed the door behind him, in the ringing silence, he suddenly realized: Is this counted as failure to Enzan's father?

And he had hit the nail on the head. It was barely a minute when the man yanked open the door, and strode towards the exit in full speed, face flustered.

Netto rushed inside the room, only to be greeted by a… really upsetting sight.

Chairs were turned over, sheets of paper all over the room… The bed was turned upside-down, crushing everything Enzan had stored in 'his' place.

Everything of his inside world, the thoughts he couldn't express through his vocal skills, the emotions well locked inside the aura of pride…

All demolished.

Anger and guilt swelled up in his guts; the room, in its simple nothingness and everything…sickened him.

And on top of all that, there were choked, almost screamed whimpers, rattled with uneven breaths. The wailing echoed around the corridors, and in a second, nurses and doctors were by Enzan's side, holding him still while he thrashed around; thrashing that soon halted as the sedative drug was injected.

Netto gently held him in his arms as people came in and set the room back into order. He patted the older boy's head and rubbed his back, trying to sooth him… Sooth the frantic pace his heart was racing at…

For Netto could see, Enzan's eyes were wide and dry.

Too petrified to cry and call for comfort.

And as he seemed to calm down a little, those cerulean eyes blinked, letting a silver droplet of water fall, landing onto the carpet, splitting into millions of diamonds… and soon, torrents of it followed, rolling down his cheeks, dripping off his chin.

Confused tears of agony, sweeping anger on their way. Confused tears matching his actions, as he was burying his head into Netto's embrace, as well as having futile efforts trying to pull back into the walls of ice he had built. Hands clenching and unclenching the fabric of his shirt, trying to capture the only comfort he could find, as well as trying to stand strong on his own.

"No, Enzan. Relax…" He mumbled numbly. Maybe that's what Enzan's father categorized, as Enzan has followed the example…

That's what his instincts thought of…

Tears are pathetic.

Tears that were pouring down his cheeks.

Tears that cannot be stopped; they were out of the fragile boy's control.

Tears that seemed to carry on for eternity… As they were meant to be there.

Tears that seemed… Pained.

Really pained.

AN: Care to write a review? Seeing it's the first fan fiction of my life… Some comments? Suggestions for chapter2? Thanks! .-

Solitude Sky