Psycho-logy
AHERM. ATTENTION READERS.
LAST CHAPTER. THIS IS.
NO MORE. OVER.
KAZA HAS LIFE. KAZA IN HIGH SCHOOL. KAZA TENTH GRADE. KAZA NEED TO COMPLETE FUCKING EDUCATION AND NOT FRET OVER COMPLETE BULLCRAP LIKE THIS FIC.
ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME.
The Last Session EVAR: THE END
The doctor looked at the pile of notes on his desk and turned to the man on the couch.
He sighed. "Itachi, I don't know how to break this to you,"
Itachi rolled his eyes. "Just get to the point, doc."
"Well, I want you to know that I hate you—"
"I already know."
"—I hate this job—"
"You're preaching to the choir, doc."
"—and I'm quitting. This is the LAST session I'll ever have with you. Ever."
Itachi looked pensive. "Oh. Well then, I guess I have no choice but to rant about everyone's bitchiness, now do I?"
"I didn't say that—"
"Alas, the list is extremely long and I suppose we'll have to start now, won't we?"
"What the hell?"
"Okay, I'll start with my brother. He's a bitch because he doesn't understand the INTENSE sexiness of nail polish. He also is a bitch because his mother and father were bitches, there forth making him a default bitch."
"Then shouldn't you be a bitch?"
"I have a fashion sense, there forth not a bitch. The Akatsuki are bitches because they suck. And they don't understand the severity of wearing purple polish with red, white, and black bulky robes. They also don't realize the potential of LIVES. Like, being something that ISN'T a stripper."
"I have no comment."
"Excuse me, but I'm speaking here. Now, TOBI is a bitch because—"
((THREE HOURS LATER))
"—and FUCK KISAME'S bitchy self for being such a blue-skinned bitch. I hate him long time, doc. Long time. Oh, and then there's Hidan, who thinks he's sooooo fucking PRETTY and SEXY and ALL THAT AND A BAG OF CHIPS WITH A CASE OF PEPSI. I hate Pepsi. Hidan needs a fucking life, the bitch. His partner though, Kakuzu, is fuck-ugly. I'd still say he's a bitch though. A MONEY-HUNGRY bitch."
((EIGHT HOURS LATER))
"—And then that Temujin guy from the second movie? FUCKING BITCH. And a flaming FAG-PIPE. I hated that movie, it made NO FUCKING SENSE. AT ALL. IN THE LEAST."
((TWENTY HOURS LATER))
"—oh man, you do NOT want to get me started on Edward Elric in the movie! What the fuck kind of name is Shambala? It sounds like some sort of gay salsa, minus the dip!"
"Itachi, shut the fuck up."
"Why? I wasn't done yet!"
"SHUT. THE FUCK. UP."
"Oh, I never DID explain how you are a bitch too."
The doctor tore off his glasses and glared at Itachi with narrowed golden eyes.
"YES. YES YOU DID. I AM OROCHIMARU. Get the fuck out my office and I hope to never see you again. EVER."
Itachi blinked and got off the couch.
"You are such a bitch."
And he was gone.
END
Wasn't that fun? Yaaaaay.
Niver supplied the session, by the way.
KTHNX 4 READING, EVERYONE.
I HEART YOU 4EVA.