At The End of The Day
Authors Thoughts: Well here it is, the last chapter. I guess on reflection I think I could have done a much better job with things like character development and including all the characters more. (I sort of dropped the ball on Peyton and Kevin) But things like that are something that I believe you develop with more practice as a writer, and this is the longest story I've ever written, and the one with the most intricate plot. Some things I had planned from the beginning and other things came to me as I went along. Ultimately I am proud of my accomplishment but think it could have been so, so much better if I had more experience. But anyways on to this last chapter. I had typed 10 pages of this and was practically done until Microsoft Word went crazy on me and quit and when I opened it up again AutoRecovery had only saved it up to page 3. Needless to say I was upset and almost cried haha because I had been right at the end and was so happy with what I'd written and then I had to let it flow again and I don't know if it came out as good as the first time. Technology hates me. Anyways it all culminates here so I hope you've enjoyed the ride. I just also want to say that I have read every single reply on and on the RC the two places where this story was written and just thank you SO MUCH for every single kind word. I know its probably a surprise that this is the last chapter because considering the pace of this story this ending is so rushed...but I had to finish it for my class so I just had to get it done. Just thank you so much for all your kind words it means a lot and I wish I had time to reply to each of you individually but just know I DO read your feedback and thank you. Enjoy the finale tonight. It sure as hell better not be the last episode ever. This season has been so amazing and I will miss it. I love this show so much. SIGH. Ok enough of that...onto the story ;)
Chapter 17 "You don't get to choose, you just fall."- UnknownHaley stared at the wooden door in front of her. She'd often gone right through to the other side without knocking, walking in was her custom. But today she felt like she needed to knock. The nerves in her stomach felt like they were biting at her insides and she took a few deep breaths to try and calm herself down. She was a nervous wreck and it was ironic that the one person who could usually calm her down was the one making her feel this way. Being brave she lifted her hand and knocked on that wooden door.
She heard the knob turn a few seconds later and the door opened to reveal Nathan on the other side who immediately grinned.
"Hey Hales," he let her walk into his arms for a tight hug, "I haven't seen you in like over a week," he spoke into her hair. It was true they hadn't seen each other since before the team left and she hadn't been able to catch up with him since the team got back. It'd been about a week and a half since they'd last scene each other.
"I missed you," she told him as they began to release their hold on each other.
Nathan grinned down at her, "Yeah I missed you too."
"Sorry about the game," Haley said softly but Nathan's smile didn't waver.
"Thanks but it's ok."
"What you're not heartbroken like the rest of the school?"
Nathan shrugged, "Well it would have been nice to win of course but we went all the way to the final game and I got to play in a college ball championship game. I have absolutely nothing to complain about."
Haley smiled happily, that was the guy she knew. Nathan Scott could teach everyone a lesson or two in maturity, including her, for ever doubting him because of his age. It really was just a number.
"But anyways I'm glad you came over I actually have something to tell you."
"Yeah me too that's kind of why I came over here…" she laughed nervously.
"Oh well go ahead."
"No you first," she smiled going over to sit on the bed the way she always did when they hung out in his room.
"Well it's more like I have to show you something," he smiled moving over to his desk and shuffled some papers around as Haley wondered what it could be.
The butterflies in her tight stomach softened a little seeing as how she wouldn't have to tell him anything just yet. Nathan finally turned around holding an opened envelope in front of him. Handing it to Haley she looked at the top left hand corner where the letters UCONN were spelled out in a large font.
"Wh-what's this?"
"It's my acceptance letter to UConn," he told her as he sat down next to her on the bed. She felt the mattress dip underneath her with his added weight, as those butterflies returned to her stomach.
"I didn't know you'd applied there," she spoke in an airy voice afraid to hear what might be coming, what it might mean...
"I know I didn't tell you, I didn't tell anyone not even Luke. It was just that remember how in the beginning of the year I wasn't sure I was going to like it at Duke? Well my head was still all wrapped up in UConn so I applied and before the game I found out I got in," he smiled. "I wasn't sure about what it changed if anything but getting to spend that week up there for the game I got to hang around all my old friends and walk around campus and I really like it there Haley. Duke's good too I actually don't hate it the way I thought I was going to but at UConn the schoolwork won't be as hard for me. And besides Lucas and you guys are all graduating in a few weeks and my life is Connecticut you know? My friends and parents are there and my dad can't tell me it's not as good as Duke for basketball because hey they won right," he laughed.
Haley had been frozen in place looking at the letters spelling out UCONN on the envelope as she took in every word Nathan said. She could feel her stomach sinking.
"So…you're going?" she finally managed to lift her eyes to his. His eyes were warm and smiling as always, but she felt cold all of a sudden, as she already knew his answer.
"Yeah I think so, I'm going to transfer there and be closer to home and my friends and stuff."
Friends? What about her wasn't she a friend?
"Hales say something," he searched her face, "You're happy for me right?"
Noting the gleam of excitement in his eyes Haley knew in that instant she had no place to say what she had come to say. This wasn't the right time, and apparently she'd lost too much time. "Oh yeah," she exclaimed and pushed a smile onto her face, "Congratulations Nathan."
Nathan grinned pulling her into another hug and then took the envelope from her hands placing it back on the desk when they'd let go. Haley's mind raced and the quiet of the room was deafening.
"So what about you?" Nathan turned to her as he shuffled around with the mess of papers on his desk.
"Huh?" It was like she was in a daze, an alternate reality of a world, a world where Nathan was leaving. It couldn't be her world it just couldn't.
"You said you had something to tell me…?"
"Oh I um," she ran her hands through her hair, "I forgot what it was actually," she laughed out as she stood up, "It wasn't important."
"Leaving already," Nathan asked her as he saw her heading for the door.
"Yeah sorry I uh, have to go work on a project…" Really she just needed to get out of the room, and away from him.
"Ok I'll see you later then," he smiled politely and it reminded her of one of the many things she liked about him, his smile.
With a nod Haley closed the door behind her and headed for the exit of the dorm.
Unfortunately it was her reality and it was her world. Nathan Scott was leaving.
Brooke was beginning to get worried. Haley had been concentrating on her schoolwork ever since Nathan had told her he was going to transfer. The last couple of weeks of school that she should be enjoying she wasn't and Brooke could see that. The problem was that she still had to be around Nathan, knowing that she liked him, and knowing that he was leaving. It was a hard thing to do and part of Haley wondered if she would have preferred to find out he was moving to another country or something. Something that meant not having to see him ever again, she wanted to believe, would be easier than this. Because the fact remained that if Haley was going to maintain her relationship with Lucas, which she wanted to, then chances were that she'd still end up seeing Nathan around, and she didn't know how to feel about that.
Haley was delving into her work and whatever else she could to get her mind off of Nathan and Brooke was beginning to worry about her. Haley had always had an upbeat positive spirit, but that personality had been missing for weeks now. Brooke hated seeing her friend like this but she understood where all her confusion was coming from.
About a week ago Brooke and Haley had received a new piece of information that made everything messier. Nathan's family had moved because of Karen's great new job but even though the pay was really good, and more than they even needed, the hours were insane and Karen had tired of it. Nathan's mom missed the calm of life in North Carolina and she wanted it back. Dan of course did whatever made his wife happy, and he loved being near his brother Keith and everyone else. So Nathan's parents had decided they were moving back home to North Carolina this summer.
Brooke treaded slowly into Haley's room searching for her friend and seeing her lying in a fetal-like position on the bed. Today was moving out day. Everyone was packing to go home except for seniors who were staying on campus until graduation. The fact that his parents were moving back home hadn't changed Nathan's mind, and after several long talks on the phone with Dan he'd convinced him to let him go to UConn. He was going home today and he'd return in about 2 weeks with the rest of his family to see his cousin graduate. For now though he was going back to Connecticut seeing as how his family wasn't moving until mid-summer. Nathan was excited and happy about UConn and Haley was miserable and Brooke knew it. Promises of "we'll still see each other" didn't mean anything to Haley because that wasn't the essential problem. In fact seeing him kind of made it worse in a way. Walking around to the side of the bed where she could see her face Brooke sat down on the corner.
"Hey Hales," she almost whispered it.
Haley lifted her head a little and sent Brooke a small greeting smile of acknowledgment but Brooke could see the shine in Haley's eyes, a tell-tale sign of pushed back tears.
"He's leaving today Brooke," she said softly. "And God I'm such a baby sitting here about to cry over it." Brooke patted Haley's jean-clad leg softly. "I mean seriously," Haley sat up suddenly, "How pathetic am I?"
Brooke looked at Haley pointedly, "You're not pathetic, you're just sad because you're guy is leaving."
"He's not my guy," Haley reminded her.
Brooke searched for words to say to Haley, for something to say that could make it all better but she didn't know what to say. It just wasn't right. Haley had fought herself all those weeks and when she finally admitted that she liked Nathan she got the rug pulled out from under her feet making her fall in a crash. It sucked that just as Haley was finally going to put herself out there she got hurt. It just wasn't fair not to Haley and not to Nathan. It wasn't fair to Nathan because Brooke knew that she wasn't exaggerating things in her head by believing that at some point Nathan had had feelings for Haley. She saw the way he looked at her the first day they met. She saw the way he was there for her to calm her down when she stressed over tests. She saw the way he smiled when he was around her, and how for a pretty reserved guy he seemed to open up to her. She saw the way he let Haley lean on his shoulder when she needed to and how he relied on her for that too. And Brooke had had her fair share of experiences with boys to know better than anyone that boys simply weren't that nice to a girl unless they liked her. And it was too bad Haley only realized it too late that she liked him back. Then sitting there it came to her, the idea popped into her head and she blurted it out.
"Go tell him."
"What?"
"You need to tell him how you feel Haley."
"What? Brooke what do you want me to say, Hey Nathan don't go to your dream school because I like you?"
"Yes."
Haley looked at her friend incredulously, "You're insane."
"Haley you know what the biggest difference between you and Nathan is? It's that he's not afraid to take chances and take risks with his life. He goes for it, like in basketball. He knows it might not work out in the end but he's going to try anyways he's not giving up without a fight. And I'm telling you Haley to do the same. This isn't fair to Nathan. He's making this decision without 100 of information. He deserves to know how you feel Haley. You know someone once said the biggest risks in life are not taking them. Go Haley, tell Nathan how you feel."
Haley saw the conviction and in resolve in Brooke's eyes and suddenly it hit her that Brooke was right. She had always been a positive person and for the past couple of weeks she'd been moping around and that was so unlike her. The worst that could happen couldn't feel any worse than what she already felt like.
"Ok," Haley jumped up off the bed and ran out of the room.
Brooke was slightly taken aback by how easy that'd been. She'd been expecting a much bigger fight from Haley but at the same time she was relieved. Brooke smiled pleased with Haley's decision and with herself.
About ten minutes later an out-of breath Haley ran back into the room and Brooke looked up surprised to see her back so soon.
"He left for the airport already," she said exasperatedly. "I'm starting to think the Gods above are trying to tell me something because both times I've tried to tell him I haven't been able to."
Brooke momentarily faltered for something to say before she stood up and dug into her pocket tossing a set of keys at Haley.
"The Gods above are telling you to take my car and go."
Haley stared at the keys she'd caught in mid-air for a second before she got what Brooke meant. "Oh Brooke you're such a good friend," she began to move in for a hug.
"GO!" Brooke's voice cut her off, "And for once in your life will you please speed on the highway!"
"Brooke! I don't even know what flight he's taking."
"All the more reason to hurry missy," she explained as she pushed Haley out of the room.
Haley smiled at her friend's actions. Brooke hadn't had a lot of luck with her relationships, and things with her and Lucas were still up in the air, and yet Brooke still had faith and believed that relationships could work. Haley loved her for it, for her positive attitude. The girl had every reason not to believe, but she did and Haley knew that if Brooke could believe then so could she. Feeding off of that she ran out of the building.
Running through the airport, trying to find Gate 76 where they'd informed her the flight for Bradley Airport in Connecticut departed from, Haley's mind raced a long with her body. This had to be the most insane thing she'd ever done. Here she was running through an airport about to tell a guy she liked that she liked him. About to tell him that without knowing how he would react or how he would take it. In fact she didn't even know what exactly she was going to say to him. Her head was spinning but she kept running and slowed down as she saw the sign for Gate 76, hoping that Nathan hadn't already gone in to the waiting lounge because security wouldn't her past that point.
Looking around through the small crowd she spotted a tall boy with jeans and a red shirt on buying a bottle of water at one of the stands and she knew it was him. Good she hadn't missed him. She waited for him to turn around after paying and when he did he spotted her approaching figure. The butterflies in her stomach turned to giant moths and noticing how good his hair looked today was not helping.
"Haley? What are you doing here?"
"I uh…"
"All passengers for flight 2849 to Bradley Airport please make your way to the gate to board your plane." The operator's voice came through the speakers and Haley inwardly groaned.
"That's my flight."
"Yeah, yeah I know I just…" she ran a hand through her hair trying to find the right words to begin.
"Haley?"
"Did I tell you that I got into Duke's Graduate School," she blurted out.
Nathan's face contorted in confusion. "What? Haley you came all the way here to tell me that?"
"I'm going to be at Duke next year, I'm not leaving."
"Ok?" What was she getting at?
"So yeah I'm not leaving I'm going to be here and I just wanted to tell you that and tell you that I think you're such an amazing guy Nathan and I'm sorry I didn't realize that sooner. You've been such a great friend to me even though you know we don't really have that much in common I mean you can put a ball through a hoop and I can solve a mathematical equation they don't exactly go hand in hand but we're still good friends right? I mean we're good friends and I like being around you and…"
She babbled on and on and he swore this had to be the single most confusing moment in his life. One minute he was standing in an airport, buying water, and about to get on a plane, and the next minute Haley, of all people, was standing in front of him talking about…what exactly…what was she doing here? He still didn't know the answer to that.
"Look Haley I have a plane to catch what are you trying to say?"
"I'm trying to say this," he watched as she sucked in a deep breath and suddenly she lunged at him. Her hands encased his face and she was close enough that he could smell her perfume and her lips were on his and she was kissing him. She was kissing him like he'd never been kissed before. She was kissing him with meaning and determination. It wasn't a New Years kiss, it wasn't a friendly kiss, it wasn't a goodbye kiss; it was so much more than that. Now he wasn't just confused he was in some sort of alternate reality because not only had Haley come to the airport and started to babble, now she was kissing him with everything she had in her. And as she started to let go and her eyes slowly opened and he looked into them a multitude of feelings he thought he'd buried long ago came flooding back to him. He still liked this girl. He liked her even more at this very moment, and realizing that what she'd just done meant that she liked him too. The realization made him feel like he'd had the wind knocked out of him. Or maybe it'd just been kissed out of him.
"I'm trying to say that I like you Nathan. I like you for who you are and the person you are and as more than just a friend and I think at some point you might have felt the same way about me and I'm sorry I didn't realize the way I felt sooner. I know this is totally unfair and selfish of me to be telling you this now, here, but I don't want you to go to UConn ok? I want you to stay here at Duke, with me, and I know that is so selfish…"
This time he cut her off kissing her passionately the way she'd kissed him and he felt her smile against his lips. Haley had never felt what she was feeling now and she didn't know if it was happiness or relief or both or some other thing, all she knew was that Nathan kissing her was her new favorite feeling.
"I'll stay," he told her as he let go, "But if I do I need to know that it doesn't bother you."
"That what doesn't bother me?"
"The fact that technically I'm still a teenager," he looked her in the eyes as he said the words. It was a potential mood-killer and he didn't want to ruin the moment but he needed to know if it was a problem. He needed to know in order to protect himself from getting hurt again.
"No it doesn't bother me," she smiled as she touched her palm to his cheek. "And you know why? Because you're the most mature teenager that I've ever met," she laughed. "In fact you're one of the most amazing people I've ever met and when I'm around you I don't see you as younger or older or whatever. I can talk to you about anything and everything and besides when you're 40 and I'm 44 it won't be a big deal anyways. It just seems bigger now because of where we are in our lives."
He grinned, "So does that mean you think we'll still be together when we're in our forties," he teased her.
"Well I don't know it took us almost a year, or at least an entire school year, for us to admit to each other that we feel more than just friendship between us so it might be that long before we go on our first date," she joked and he laughed and she smiled and it was one of those moments both knew they'd never forget.
And it was true. Small age differences or small insignificant factors like that didn't matter and why should they? At the end of the day everyone just wants to be happy no matter whom with. The mind does a lot of thinking and rationalizing, but the heart just feels.
"This is the last boarding call for passengers on flight 2849 to Bradley Airport. Please make your way to the gate now in order to board the plane."
The operator interrupted their moment and Haley groaned out loud tugging on his shirt. "All right I guess I'll see you at graduation."
Nathan shook his head, "No I mean I was going home to spend more time with my family but what's the point they're coming down here for graduation anyways and since I'm going to be staying in North Carolina I don't think they'll mind."
"Are you sure? You don't have to do that for me you can go home and see your parents."
"I know I don't have to and don't worry. They'll be thrilled that I'm deciding to stay at Duke."
"Your dad is going to think you're bi-polar or something with you changing your mind."
Nathan shrugged, "No I'm doing it for a girl. He'll understand," he winked at her and she couldn't stop the giggle that escaped her.
Throwing an arm around her shoulder he couldn't help but pull her closer and lean down to kiss her lips again. He was already addicted to it.
"What are you going to do these 2 weeks anyways?" she asked as they let go. "Seniors have a bunch of things to do for graduation that's why we have to stay on campus. What are you going to do?"
Nathan shrugged, "Probably get some sleep and relax," he laughed, "Watch movies or something, you know, buy you a better DVD collection" he teased her which earned him a punch on the shoulder.
"Hey! You may not like the chick flicks but you do realize kissing in an airport is like the ending to 5 million different romantic comedies right?"
He looked down at her and laughed, "You're probably right."
She leaned up to snake her arms around his neck her face turning a little more serious, "Thank you Nathan."
"For what?"
"For everything I guess. For being there for me, and for staying at Duke for me."
"It's no big deal Hales I mean a school's a school right? And you were right I did actually end up liking Duke a lot more than I thought I would I was just going to transfer because I have friends up north and with all of you guys graduating I thought I'd be more comfortable there. But now that I know you'll still be here," he looked down at her, "It's worth it."
She smiled leaning up and hugging him. "I totally owe you," she whispered in his ear.
"Yeah you do, you owe me $500 bucks."
Haley's eyes widened, "What? Why?"
"Deposit money for UConn. When I call them up to withdraw my enrollment they get to keep the money," he mocked seriousness.
Haley laughed knowing he was only teasing her, "Ok I'll make it up to you in continuing to give you math tutoring-sessions when you need them."
He smiled and began to lead the way to exit the airport. Walking outside Nathan stopped when they were about half way to the door of the elevator that would take them to the parking lot.
"How'd you get here anyways?" he asked.
"Brooke let me borrow her car keys, there was so much traffic it was taking me forever to get here. I was afraid you were going to leave before I could talk to you."
"We'll I'm glad you made it."
She smiled, "Me too."