Hello all!

Another chapter for you! I'm not feeling too great right now so I was making this quick update.

Not a lot of action in this one either... but unfortunately ...theeere's a lot of... things that need to be established for the story to flow smoothly enough. Plus I really like tormenting Kiros...

Really.

I'd probably asked the same question around a thousand or more times in the past week or so, and already, we both knew how hopeless it was to answer. No matter how much I was reassured, there was little that could stop that sneaking, slinking suspicion that there was something to distrust about the entire situation, that something could go wrong, and would, if for even one second any one of us stopped thinking on it. Maybe my years of slavery had conditioned me into never letting my guard down if I could help it, or maybe it was just that innate dislike of the man and all that he was a part of that I simply could not find a reason for but supported all the same, but I just couldn't bring myself to believe that that television screen would display those few little numbers that apparently would be the crux of our entire operation, as much as it still eluded me how after so many explanations.

We had spent that entire night planning it all out…. Everything, and I mean everything, rested on this single moment. The plan, my race, the remainder of both my and Maya's life… We'd only get this single chance, and if anything went wrong…

It was enough to make me want to chew my own leg off from the tension. Well… maybe not literally, but the stress level still remained pretty high even with all the efforts of distraction. There was a knot in my gut that refused to untangle, making even eating something hard to do. I'd never been so nervous in my life… even when my former master had brought out the whip…

I shook my head to rid myself of those memories.

She looked at me, and I let my eyes drift to hers in return, forcing a bit of an innocent smile to my face. It still felt so odd and uncomfortable, being back to our old routine after all that had happened that night outside the store, even after a week to try and get used to the normality. But I supposed that I'd better enjoy it while it lasted. After all… if everything went according to plan like it was supposed to, we wouldn't have much longer to just sit around, lounging on our beds and watching television like two outlandish roommates.

Now there was an odd thought….

"Kiros, I've told you a million times; if he can't do it, no one can. So hey, shut up and watch TV, alright?" the tone was lightly exasperated, but not angry to my extreme relief. At least Mouse seemed to understand my insufferable apprehension and how I simply couldn't stop it. In fact, I'd guess that she'd probably been asking herself the same question as many times as I'd been vocalizing it, yet as always she had a much more quiet and controlled way of dealing with it…. something that almost surprised me, since I had never used to be so vocal... But at least she was nice enough to be optimistic as well. Myself, well… yeah, of course I had hope, but you could have a truckload of hope and still feel overwhelming anxiety to go with it. And I wasn't nice enough not to say I didn't trust Salamander, or perhaps I just didn't like him enough to want to trust him. Either one.

Hey, try to lighten the mood, dumbass! The thought shot through my head completely unbidden, shocking me out of what was certainly going to turn into a bout of brooding if I would have continued. I seemed to do that more than I really should have; if I wasn't complaining or making a dry comment on some form of something, I was always thinking to myself… Even my own brain was starting to get tired of the constant noise.

Well, I suppose I couldn't argue with myself, there.

"What if I don't wanna watch TV?" I asked after a moment, clear by my tone that I was at least half-joking as I pointedly turned my face from the television, snorting lightly and forcing my antennae to snap down against my head, enhancing my look of a pouty, whiny individual. If I were going to be pulled into a banter against my will, I was certainly going to get it right and try not to have any misunderstandings. Who knew, maybe I'd even catch Maya off guard with something. I always did like to outdo her in something like this.

It made me feel like I'd actually accomplished something, strangely enough.

"Then you miss everything and will never be privy to the first glorifying step of the plan."

I grinned despite my resolve to continue to act as if I were having a tantrum. Her answer was just as toned as mine yet sans the whiny part and added in the droll tone of pure fact, and I was glad that I'd at least gotten it right for once when I'd figured that some sort of joke was needed. It was so difficult to be… normal, I guess. When all you were expected to do was keep your head down and serve quietly, I suppose it left no room for really learning any social niceties or subtle signs beyond the ones you needed to know to tell if someone was going to hurt you or not, even with the other Irkens it was so much like a pack of rabid dogs fighting over scraps... The thought was more than a little infuriating, the beginnings of cold yet hot anger starting to stir in my gut alongside that gigantic knot of apprehension, but I squelched it as quickly as I could. There was no reason to get pissed off at nothing, here… I was in a different life now.

Heh… a different life… is that really how I think of it?

"You sure that's a bad thing?" My reply was quick, a quip that I was pretty proud of, considering that even with how much practice in it I'd gotten in while living with Maya, I'd never been quite as able to throw in a comment with as much smoothness as she could. Maybe I just thought too much… Did I think too much? It's not like I had a reference or anything… thoughts couldn't exactly be broadcasted unless you said them, and there was no way to tell what other people thought or how much they thought.

My tangent thoughts on the matter were, of course, interrupted rather suddenly by the unexpected feeling of being hit by some soft object. Whatever it was; fuzzy, light… it scraped across my head and antennae, bouncing off almost before I had time to register it enough to jump and yelp. My hands moved instantly, wiry muscles snapping to grab whatever it was, and at seeing the fuzzy black pillow, I could do nothing but stare blankly at it for a moment, before my eyes snapped up, throwing Maya as indignant a glare as I could manage. Infuriatingly, she only smirked, crossing her arms over her chest and trying to fight to keep laughter in. I could tell, because she was attempting pretty unsuccessfully to hold her breath.

"I'll get you back for that," I said promisingly. Throw a pillow at me, would she? I could play that game… and I could win it, too.

"I'm sitting right here," despite how she couldn't stop the giggle from her voice, the challenge in her tone was still quite evident to me, and I found out in that moment that I was very competitive as she spread her arms out, showing that she was, indeed, right there. That added to the challenge more than anything; she was daring me to back down. That much I knew…. I could remember hundreds of other incidents from way back when in the less fortunate past.

The only difference here was that it was all in fun.

"You asked for it," my glare seemed to just drift into another grin, and I wondered for a second if I actually had any control over those expressions that I kept finding myself sporting. It didn't seem like it anymore…. I remembered there was a time when grinning seemed completely impossible. Now it was an everyday occurrence… I even felt… younger. I know it was strange, as I wasn't all that old for my race, in any event. Hell, I didn't even know how many years I'd spent in slavery, but I knew I couldn't be much more than the equivalent of maybe twenty one… if that. Old enough to drink if I were human….

Not like that had anything to do with, well… anything. Technically, I was old enough to be dead if I were a human.

It wasn't a great thought. But then again… hadn't I just been trying to have fewer thoughts?

The black pillow flew through the air on a course straight for the girl that I had so recently been somewhat forced into sharing my life with, and to avoid the instant catch and retaliation I knew was coming, I ducked to the side, flipping the covers on my bed back to grab the pillow there, using that as a type of double-pronged attack as I threw that as well to either hit her with it or deflect the pillow that was probably well on its way to returning to me. After that, I attempted to make a quick leap over to Maya's side of the room to leap onto her bed and grab her other pillow before she would have a chance to. I mean, disarm and conquer was better than letting yourself get bombarded any day. Maya had more pillows than I did.

And for once in quite a long time, maybe even my whole life, I stopped thinking as much.

It was all just fun.

A squealing giggle told me that at least one of my 'attacks' had hit, and I grinned even wider than ever, my antennae rising as I snatched up Maya's pillow before she could get to it, shouldering her out of the way a bit with a victorious 'hah!' as I clutched the pillow to me, turning to 'face my adversary'. Mousy brown hair flew as she whirled to grab not only the original thrown pillow, but mine that I had thrown at her as well, and for an instant I was a little dismayed at such an obvious disadvantage that put me in. Well, that wasn't fair! She had two pillows and I only had one!

I'd just have to make it fair.

"Cheater," I accused, still grinning to lessen the impact of it, though I figured it would be easy enough to tell that I had something up my sleeve from my expression, even with the differences between human and Irken. But it wasn't like I'd give Mouse the time to figure that out or get away. It was almost instantly after I said that that I lunged. Not well, though, since it was incredibly difficult to lunge well at anyone from a sitting start on a surface as hard to balance on as a bad and twice as heard to make any sort of 'flying leap' from. But I did manage at least a good resemblance of it, I think, or else I made a spectacular flop. It was enough of a flop that I actually grabbed my pillow by a corner before I managed to lose my balance, in any case.

Losing my balance, or even lunging in the first place, probably hadn't been the best idea on a bed as high as that one, in retrospect.

No shit, Sherlock.

It was another one of those moments where time seemed to stand still for just a second, a clarity snapping into focus just long enough to make one realize exactly what was going to happen next, yet still be as powerless to stop it as ever. As my fingers closed on that pillow, as Maya began to snatch it back to her, and as I lost my balance on the edge of the bed, well… there was only one logical thing that could happen. On that note, I wasn't even certain why I'd been lunging from the edge of the bed in the first place. Had I just not noticed where I was? It seemed so.

"Whoa!" It was all I could manage to say before everything was just a confusing tangle of bumps, what would certainly soon be bruises, and then a very final, jarring impact of shoulders against a hard surface that signified the end of the journey to the floor. I blinked, just staring up at the ceiling for a second. How did I get on the floor? And since when was that spot there? It looked as if the ceiling needed repainting, as unlikely as it was that it would ever be done.

"It's on!" I heard the oh-so-familiar voice call from above me, and perhaps I would have quirked an antennae if both were not somewhat painfully pinned under my head. Wha- oh! The numbers! I chided myself silently from where I lay for thinking that my friend's sentence could pertain to anything else, especially with the excited manner in which she said it. It was odd, however; I never remembered myself being such a silly, giddy fool before, but maybe it was just the need to be normal…. Or the fact that before now, being a kid was something I'd never had a chance to do. I mean, why couldn't I fool around if I wanted to? Maybe I was older than usual for stuff like pillow fights, but I didn't see how age made a difference, not really.

The muscles in my brow pulled together, a somber look crossing my face as my eyes narrowed a bit. Was this the last time I'd get to be anything but serious? That responsibility weighed down on me again, the responsibility of being a Prince. From what I'd read, human Princes were noble, brave, serious people who always got the job done and were always so formal. But… what if I didn't want to be like that? Would an entire race follow someone like me? Ugh, maybe this wasn't the best time to be thinking of these questions, but, but I just couldn't help it. Nerves, anxiety, what ifs… they all built up on top of that lingering adrenaline from the pillow fight.

What if I wasn't good enough, and everything went wrong because of me? I knew I was the weakest of the three… It's just, how could I not be? I'd been a slave, used to keeping my head down, scared to death of most humans even now and even though I wanted so badly to defy them all, to break from this never-ending shithole that would be the end of my people if I didn't do something. How many times had Maya and I gone out, and walked around only to see some human pulling an Irken slave behind them, making them walk ankle deep in the snow and ignoring their whimpers of pain as it melted on their skin? I'd wanted to do something every time, and had just itched to grab the nearest heavy, blunt object and start pounding on the humans who did it… but even though I had warm clothing and new shoes and a friend to talk to… I just couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to move to help. What would happen to me if I did? Maya would be punished… I'd be killed or worse. And if you think there isn't anything worse that being killed, think again. They didn't call it the 'screamer bin' for nothing, with my old master… and though I'd never seen the inside, I'd heard the sounds. They'd haunt anyone, and they haunted me. My nightmares still echoed with it.

I jumped as something suddenly connected with my forehead, too surprised to even yelp as my thoughts were still swirling down that drain in my mind. What the-? Wait… was that… Oh, it was Maya. The human girl was crouched beside me, grinning her head off as she held her hand poised for another tap to my skull. How had she gotten there, and why hadn't I noticed? I'd probably been far too deep in thought to do so, and that was yet another change I'd noticed since I had come here. Even in a few short months, where before any movement from her would have put me on guard instantly, I was relaxed enough to not feel as if she were going to pull some trick at any moment. It was a sobering notion… What else had begun to change in me? Was I really the same Kiros that had started out, or was I going to be something different when this was all over..? If that was true….

"Kiros? Hey, Kiros, you in there? You missed everything, you know!"

I pushed away her hand quickly, sitting up. What? I'd missed…. But.. "Wha-?"

"Guess who pulled through!!" and with that, all I could do was give a strangled 'urk' as, again, I was hugged, and again, I just tensed up with wide eyes, staring at her as if she'd grown another head sometime within our conversation. Gah, I would have to get used to that. Maya seemed to feel that hugging and such physical contact was something that friends could do and be comfortable with, but I was a far cry from being comfortable with much of any contact. It was something I didn't think I'd ever get out of, and it was fine with me. But I'd let Maya have her fun…

Who had what…?

She must have been talking about Salamander, bu- Wait, though! Salamander had pulled th- holy shit! With the sinking in of that tidbit of information, I probably couldn't have been more surprised if a train had crashed through the wall and hit me, and I didn't even have to make an effort to keep my eyes wide and blank, just completely frozen in the moment. Before that instant, I had hardly believed that the human male could do anything of such a scale, not really. I'd nearly condemned myself to living on this planet with Maya for the rest of my days, which in itself wasn't a horrible thing to contemplate. A far cry, however, from what I'd dreamed of as of late.

But dreams… dreams had a way of slamming into you at high speeds when you least expected it.

"H-how much…. again….?" That… had been… a lot of money on the line there… But I had to get my thoughts back together, so I shook my head just hard enough to rattle my thoughts back into place. Had this additional knowledge sunk in yet? Oh yes… with the idea that both Maya and I had quite a bit more resources than before came the awareness that the plan was moving forward, and with that came the sudden and unexplainable fear of change. Wasn't I the one that had wanted change? There was no turning back, and it was like Maya had said not long ago. 'Now or never.' If I didn't do this now, I was never going to be able to, and I'd regret it all my life.

"Enough for everything we need" her reply came with a grin, and I suppressed the urge to look at her like she was crazy. Now… wasn't she seeing how insanely difficult this would be?? Wasn't she in any way, shape, or form the least bit worried about how things would turn out? I gave myself no chance at harboring the illusion that things would run smoothly from now on; I wasn't that stupid. There were problems to consider, gathering the things we needed, governments to convince, things to make…. The sheer magnitude of all that needed to be done was just overwhelming. I couldn't even count how many ways the plan could go wrong, but….

"Hey, hey… Kiros, what's wrong?" Maya's voice broke through my thoughts, her tone and her question making me flick my eyes over to her, though little as she'd notice it with the absence of pupils. Along with the change in subject came the awareness of my back beginning to hurt, the dull ache spreading across my shoulders from where they were pressed into the floor. I could only be glad there was a rug here, and that I hadn't landed on hard concrete, something I knew all too well what landing on felt like. With the healing of my wounds from the fight, the old aches and pains in my shoulders had disappeared, perhaps one thing I could thank the disturbing technology for, but I had no wish to make new ones unless I had to.

"What?" my voice was almost indignant, and inwardly I winced. Great going, let's all sound much sharper than we intended, shall we? Even adding onto it, however, didn't seem to rid my voice of that tone. Damn. At that point I likely could have crawled under the bed to wallow in the mistake I knew I was making, likely ruining what should have been a rather cheerful and happy moment, but, like always, I kept talking. "Nothing! Nothing's wrong… why do you ask?"

Her eyes bored into mine, and I suddenly felt smaller than I was, nearly shrinking back from that gaze. Fear? No… well, perhaps it was a type of fear, mixed heavily with guilt, and disturbingly reminding me very much of long ago. I didn't like anyone looking at me like that, like they knew I was lying. I'd been accused of lying too many times, even when I wasn't. Most Irkens were afraid to lie, nowadays, and there was good reason… but that didn't stop the humans from telling us that we did it all the time. "Look at your hands…"

I did, the thought coming to me that just a few months prior, I would have refused to do even that. For Mouse, though… for Mouse there were exceptions. Her words weren't an order, nor were they said in a commanding tone, which softened the blow to my mind that had been caused by her expression. Maybe I was jumping to conclusions. There had to be something wrong, especially as, while I looked over the strangely smooth contours of my hand, I saw that it was shaking. No matter how much I willed it to be still, it continued, seeming to mirror that state of my conscious in which I couldn't decide if winning a rigged lottery was a good or bad thing.

It was no wonder Maya had assumed what she did. As much as I scoffed at the idea, I likely looked as harried and overwhelmed as I felt. And I did feel it, to my bones, that no matter what we did, we wouldn't be able to stop mistakes. What those mistakes would result, I didn't know… and maybe that scared me the most.

"I…." My voice caught in my thought, and I swallowed. The movement was harder than it should have been, the lump there refusing to dislodge. I wondered distantly why things like this happened when I needed so badly to say something, but I doubted I would get an answer even if I tried. It was a part of nature, and something I couldn't help. I just needed to spit out the words as best I could. "Mouse, what if we make a mistake? What if something happens…? Are we really-"

"Kiros…" she stopped me with a hand, raising it up until her own was by mine. Her hands were strangely delicate. I could feel my brow furrowing deeply as I looked at it, my confusion making its way to my face. How was it that something that could hold so much weight and responsibility still look so natural, so soft? The pale sheen of her skin made mine look rough and ugly by comparison. "Prince Kiros, people make mistakes. We can do our best, and then no one can say we didn't try, okay?"

I could hear the slight impact, the delicate brush of tiny hairs and membrane against skin as my antennae fell against my head with the onset of but the first word. One simple word, and my world could come crashing down around me, only to be rebuilt again. Princes didn't 'do their best'. Princes just did… and somehow they knew all the answers.

Do I know all the answers yet?

"Do you think I can do it…?" the question whispered its way past my lips before I had the forethought to shove it back firmly into my brain, and I winced even as the last words emerged. Was there even a time I had been so sure that I was a Prince? The gang in the ally may have lost the fight… but did they win the war by making me lose the idea that I'd always thought -no, that I had always known- was true?

"You've never failed me before." Her words came with a shrug, and as she stood, it was only then that I realized that I was still sitting on the floor. I couldn't have moved my limbs any faster as I slowly rose, feeling suddenly light and heavy at the same time. The daze kept a hold on me firmly as I watched to see a pillow thrown onto my bed, landing haphazardly on the edge, about where it should have been had it stopped a foot or so to the side.

"Let's get some sleep, okay, Kiros? We've got a lot to do tomorrow… meetings to go to… things to design… Good night."

I only stared at my pillow, still in awe as my eyes both saw and didn't see the scene around me. Even when the light suddenly winked out, leaving me in darkness, I remained still, staring into the void long after my vision had adjusted, those words echoing in my head over and over again.

The strangest thing was… I didn't think she knew exactly how much they'd meant to me.

I am Prince Kiros, and I can do this.

YAY SELF CONFIDANCE