Wooing Phoebe

            It was recess and everyone was playing and having fun.  Rhonda climbed onto

a bench and shouted to everyone's attention.

            "Hello, everyone!  In one week my birthday will be here, and I'm going to

have a party.  All fourth-graders who want to come see me later for details.

Thank you for your attention, you may go back to playing games."

             "Another party?" Arnold asked Gerald.  "Didn't she just have one a couple

weeks ago?"

             "Man, Arnold, you should know by now that Rhonda has parties all the time.

She throws them for no reason and every reason.  She once threw a party to

celebrate that she was throwing a party, remember?  I don't think this one

will be any different.  I don't think I'll go unless there's nothing else to

do."

            "Yeah, you're right.  I don't think I'll go either."

            "Of course I'm right, man!  I'm always right!"

                    "Whatever you say Gerald."

            "What does that mean?"

            "Come on, let's go play kickball."

            "That's not what it means!  What does it mean?!..."

*****

            "A party, Helga!  Do you think Gerald will go?"

            "Why would I know?  And more importantly, Phoebes, why do you care?"  Phoebe

looked at her feet to hide her light blush.

            "Oh, no reason."

            "Who cares anyway, I'm not going to that party.  Rhonda throws too many and

they're all the same."

             "It might be fun."

             "Come on, Phoebe, it'll be one of the most boring ways you could spend your

weekend if you went.

            "There could be worse ways to spend your weekend."

                   "Maybe, I guess."  The bell rang for class.

                "Welcome back class!" said Mr. Simmons happily. "I have a very special announcement

to make!"

            "All his announcements are very special," Gerald whispered to Arnold.

            "What was that Gerald?" asked Mr. Simmons.

            "Uh, nothing," said Gerald.

               "Anyway, this weekend I have arranged something very special for us to do. Whoever

wants to come can spend a fun-filled weekend in a beautiful flower garden that I have

discovered about five hours away! We will walk through the beautiful garden, while

having every flower named and its origin told about by a trained botanist! Then, at the

end of the day we will pick our own special bouquets to take home to our families and

spend the night in a fabulous bed and breakfast. Then the next morning we will eat a

scrumptious breakfast and then take the five hour bus ride back home!"

            "But, this weekend is my party," said Rhonda, a little miffed.

            "Party, Rhonda?" said Mr. Simmons, confused.

            "Yes, party.  I'm having a birthday party this weekend!  I was going to have

it at nighttime in the park.  It was going to be great!  But now there's

this stupid flower garden and Bed & Breakfast thing!"

"I--I'm sorry, Rhonda, but I've been trying for weeks to get Principal Wartz

to approve this!  He finally agreed and if I move this, it could take

forever to get his permission again.  I hate to say this, but you're going

to have to reschedule your party."

"What?!?!"

"I'm afraid so.  Either that or don't go.  And prepare not to have anyone at

your party because I was going to give 200 extra credit points to whoever

wants to come!"  Of course everyone signed on after that.

*****

            It was Saturday morning.  Everyone was packed and ready to go, waiting for

the bus.  Rhonda was still a little disappointed about her party, but she

had those great 200 extra credit points as a consolation prize, and wasn't

feeling too bad.  Arnold and Gerald were talking while waiting for the bus.

            "Man, remind me again why I signed up for this."

            "I know Gerald, two hundred extra credit points don't really seem worth it,

do they?"

            "No, they don't.  Well, at least I'll be free of Jamie-O and Timberly for

the weekend."

            "sigh Oh well, there's no turning back now, though.  I will be soo bored

this weekend.  At least you're with me Gerald."  Arnold and Gerald did the

thumb thing.

                    "Criminey!  I can't believe I traded my weekend just to be away from Bob

and Mirriam!"

            "I don't really mind.  It might be an interesting trip.  Though my dad

promised to teach me a new trick in fencing, but it can wait."

            "Hmph, oh well.  And Bob has been especially unbearable since he got that

huge order for a thousand beepers and Olga won that contest up at school."

The bus came and everyone got on.  All the seats were full except for the

four-person seat in the back.  Arnold and Gerald sat on the left and phoebe

and Helga sat on the right.  Arnold glanced at Helga.  She was shooting

spitballs.

            'I don't want to sit next to her for five hours!  But I can always talk to

Gerald.'  He turned to Gerald to start a conversation and found him asleep.

He was stuck talking to Helga.

                    "Hey!!!"

                    "Hahahahahaha, gotcha, Pink Boy!"

'I'm gonna die,' thought Arnold.

*****

            "So Helga…."

            "What, Football-head?"

            "Um, you bored?"

            "Ya', what's it to you?"

                    "Wanna talk?  I can't talk to Gerald," Arnold pointed to his snoring

friend.

            "And I can't talk to Phoebe when she's like this," Helga pointed to Phoebe.

She was engrossed in a book past the point of being aware of the world

around her.  "I guess I can talk to a football-head without dying for a

while."

            Arnold and Helga started talking.  At first Arnold was reluctant and afraid

and Helga was resistant and bully-like, but soon they relaxed and started

acting like normal people, once they got into the flow of conversation.

After what seemed like a very short while of talking, Arnold glanced at his

watch.

            "Whoa, Helga!  Can you believe it's been three hours already?!"

            "Wow, time really flies when you're having fun."  Arnold thought about her

absent-minded comment.  'Fun?  Talking with Helga….fun?!'  Arnold thought

about all they stuff that they'd talked about.  They'd told each other

practically everything about themselves.  Arnold had revealed the truth

about his parents and Helga had described her horrible home life and Olga's

overshadowment.  (She'd even almost revealed that she loved him until she

realized whom exactly she was talking to.)

            'Wow,' he thought.  'I really have had fun talking to Helga.  And it's like

she's a whole new person, too.'  Arnold sat there in deep thought, puzzled

by these new conflicting emotions.

                    "Arnold, hello?  Earth to Arnold."  Helga was waving her hand in front of

his face.

            "Wha-?  Oh… I was-uh-just thinking about what you said.  Time does fly when

you're having fun."  'Yeah,' he thought.  'Talking to Helga IS fun.'  He and

Helga talked the rest of the way there.

*****

            They had left at seven and got there at twelve.  They ate lunch before

going to the garden.  During lunch, Gerald was talking to Arnold.

            "And you say you were actually enjoying it?!"

            "Yes Gerald.  I know it sounds weird and suspicious-"

            "Damn right, it does!!"

            "-but you should have seen her.  She wasn't Helga.  She was a completely

different person."

            "And so are you.  Who are you?"

            "What?  What are you talking about, Gerald?"

            "Who are you?  And what have you done with my best friend?!"

                    "Gerald, you're being stupid.  You've taken leave of your senses."

            "I'VE taken lea-!  Listen, man, you're the one who enjoyed a FIVE-hour talk

with Helga G. Pataki!!"  They looked at Helga.  She was challenging Harold

to a fight outside while Phoebe tried to calm her down.

            "I know it sounds weird, but like I said, it was like she was a different

person.  It was a whole new side of her.  She wasn't cruel and vindictive,

she didn't call me names and make fun of me.  It was…" he trailed off,

staring at Helga, puzzlement and confusion very clear on his face.  He

sighed in resignation and turned back to his lunch.  "I don't know, Gerald.

I just don't know."  Gerald continued eating his lunch, muttering things

about it being unnatural and weird.

*****

            After everyone finished lunch, Mr. Simmons and the botanist, Trevor, (he

just has all sorts of jobs, doesn't he? Hehehe) took the kids around the

large garden.  Some of the kids were picking flowers for bouquets, Gerald

included.

                    "Gerald, why are you picking flowers?  Gerald shuffled his feet nervously,

and repeatedly glanced at Phoebe.

            "Oh, no reason, man.  They're-uh-for my mom."  Arnold wasn't fooled.

They'd been walking around the garden for a little less than an hour when

something unexpected happened.  It suddenly burst out raining, drenching

everyone in seconds.  Mr. Simmons and Trevor rushed everyone into the B&B

just before the lightning started.  The kids went into their rooms and

changed out of their soaking wet clothes.  Some wore spare clothes, others

changed into their pjs early.  Everyone gathered in the common (a living

room, lounge type of room) in the middle of the B&B.  Arnold was wearing a

spare flannel shirt, unbuttoned, and a spare pair of pants.  Gerald

was wearing a spare pair of his normal clothes.  Helga and Phoebe were

wearing pink and blue nightshirts.  Mr. Simmons, Trevor, Eugene, and Brainy

weren't there.

The kids saw a lightning flash.  As the thunder sounded, the lights went

out.  Some of the kids screamed.

"Mommmmyyyyyy!!" yelled Harold, quivering in his pajamas while clutching his

Wally doll.  With the rain outside it was as dark as midnight, though it

wasn't even 2:00 yet.  Everyone got quiet all of a sudden.  What was that

noise?  There were heavy footsteps and hallow breathing sounds.  They heard

Eugene in another room shriek.  There was a booming crash and a thud.  This

was followed by an eerie, rolling sound.  Phoebe ran to Gerald.  Everyone

could her Harold whispering, "Easy squeezy lemon peasy," over and over.

Two points of light floated toward them.  One went ahead of the other.  As

it came closer it revealed the horrible silhouette of….Brainy?!  Mr. Simmons

came forward, holding a candle. Eugene came from another direction, limping in pain from his

fall.  The rolling sound had been his candle when he dropped it.

"I'm sorry!  Did we scare anyone?  Eugene!  In the name of specialness, are

you hurt?"

"I'm okay."  Mr. Simmons started passing out candles to the recovering

students.  Phoebe blushed at Gerald and walked back to Helga.

"Lightning struck the power lines.  We found candles and Trevor is searching

for flashlights.  Everything will be fine.  I think everyone should go to

their rooms."  Everyone had separate rooms though some people went to others

so they wouldn't be scared.  Phoebe, Arnold, Gerald, and Helga all went to

their own rooms.  After a while, Gerald heard a knock on his door.  He

opened it to find a very badly frightened Phoebe.

"Gerald?!  I thought this was Helga's room, I'm sorry."  She started to walk

away.

"Phoebe, wait!  I'm not gonna let you wander around here in the dark alone.

You stay in my room till this is over.  We can be scared together."

"Thank you, Gerald."

*****

Helga was nervous and she was worried about Phoebe.  Phoebe should have come

to her room by now.

"What if she's lost in the halls!" she said to herself.  She took a candle

and went to look for her.  After she'd thoroughly searched the halls she

figured that either Phoebe was in her room toughing it out or she was with

someone else.  She started heading back to her room when she realized that

in searching for Phoebe, she had gotten herself lost.  She headed for the

nearest door, intending to ask where she was.  She knocked and the door was

answered by….Arnold?!

"Arnold, I was searching for Phoebe and I lost where my room is.  Can you

tell me where I am?"

            "Why not, instead of you going to your room alone and me staying in my room

alone, you just stay here?  I know it's childish, but, I'm kinda scared."

Helga went into Arnold's room to stay for the storm.

*****

            The loud, sudden roll of thunder forced a surprised squeak out of Phoebe.

            "I know I shouldn't be frightened.  The lightning is only the negative

discharge of energy between the sky and the clouds and the thunder is only

the gasses in the atmosphere reacting to being quickly heated by the

lightning, but I AM scared!"  Phoebe started crying.

                    "Phoebe, don't cry, come on!"  Gerald sat down on the bed next to her, he

held her in his arms.  She cried into his shirt.  He lifted her chin to

speak to her more, but before he had a chance to say anything, their eyes

locked.  Then, because it felt natural, he kissed the tears away from her

eyes.  Following it, he gave her a long, full kiss on the mouth.  Before he

knew what he was doing, he said,

            "De-licious."  She giggled.  She caught a glimpse of the bouquet of flowers

on the table behind Gerald.  She hadn't seen them before.

            "Who are those flowers for?"

            "They were picked for you, my de-licious Phoebe.  Because they looked as

de-licious as you!"  Phoebe giggled, then gave Gerald a long kiss.  He

started showering her with small, swift kisses on her face and neck as she

giggled.  She stopped his roving lips with her finger, than replaced her

finger with her own lips, giving him another long kiss.  When she finally

pulled away, he whispered in her ear,

            "De-licious!" Meanwhile, Arnold was sitting on his bed watching the storm. Helga tried to turn on the television..

                "Crimeny!, even the television is busted! there's nothing to do here

football-head!"

            "Well, Helga," said Arnold as he turned his back to the storm and sat to face her,

"I brought some travel games for the bus, but I never got around to playing them with

Gerald as planned... I've got travel Cluedo, Connect Five, Guess Whom, and I've also

got a deck of cards."

            "How about we play some Guess Whom then?" asked Helga.

            "Fine by me," said Arnold.

            They got their Guess Whom boards all set up.

            "You can go first, Helga." said Arnold.

            "OK, does your person have a football-shaped head?" asked Helga, smiling.

            Arnold had a dopey grin on his face. "Sorry, No, Does your person have a head

shaped like Gerald or Harold's?"

            "Yes," said Helga.

            They continued playing Arnold's Travel games for about an hour.

            "Now what? we've played all your games a whole bunch of times, and I'm sorry to

say, that it is getting very boring beating you every time," said Helga to Arnold.

            Arnold just sat there, staring at Helga, lost in thought. 'Man, I've spent over an

hour with Helga, alone, in my room, and five hours talking to her on the bus ride here.

I just can't stop thinking about her. She's so smart, she makes really good

conversation, and she was just ever so cute when she beat me at all those games.. Wait

a second? ever so? where'd that come from..  Lila! I just realized! I haven't thought

about Lila this whole trip! She's usually on my mind almost every second. Does this

mean what I think it means? I'm finally over her? And I think maybe, I'm starting to

like Helga like I liked Lila? I'm so confused!'

            "Hello! Earth to football-head!" said Helga to Arnold who was still lost in

thought.

            "Huh? oh, Hi Helga," said Arnold

            "I asked, what do we do now? Sheesh! You seem lost in thought or something!"

            "Oh, I was just thinking about--" suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

            "I'll get it." said Arnold. He opened the door and found Lila standing there.

            "Lila, hi! what are you doing here?" said Arnold a bit uncomfortably

            "Oh, I was just ever so scared of the storm, and so I went down to the lobby and

asked Mr. Simmons where you were. and here I am. I wanted to be with someone who I knew

cared about me ever so much."

            Arnold became lost in thought again. 'Man, if this had happened just last week it

would have been perfect! But my stupid emotions have to mess with me! I guess I really

don't like like Lila anymore if I'm even having second thoughts about her staying with

me.'

            "Hello, Arnold?" asked Lila.

            "Oh, um, Lila, I know who can comfort you even better than I can. Stinky's Right

next door." He took her next door, but before he knocked, she stopped him.

                "Arnold, what's the matter?"

                "Nothing, its just uh, well,"

                "There's something I need to tell you Arnold. I did a lot of thinking on the bus ride

here and well, I wasn't really scared of the storm, I came up to tell you that I think

I'm finally ready to like you like you."

            Arnold just stood there shocked. These were the words he had been waiting to hear

from Lila for months. But strangely, he didn't feel excited or anything. Suddenly, Lila

leaned forward and started kissing Arnold right there in the hall Arnold was frozen in

place, scared and confused. Just then, Helga came out of Arnold's room and saw Lila

there kissing him.

            "You slut!" she called at Lila and before her or Arnold could do anything, Helga

ripped Lila off of Arnold by her braids and shoved her to the ground. "You stay there,

I'm not through with you yet!" she shouted at Lila, but Lila ran down to the common

room crying, ready to tell Mr. Simmons the awful thing Helga had said and done.

            Helga, still fuming, let her go. She just didn't care anymore. She still had

unfinished business. Furious with Arnold for letting Lila do that to him, she dragged

him back into his room and pinned him up against the back wall by his shoulders.

            "How dare you let her do that you... you... IMBECIL!!!"

            "It, It wasn't wh-what it l-looked like," stammered Arnold trembling.

            "Of course it was! Everyone on the damn playground knows you have the hots for

little miss perfect!!" screamed Helga with increased rage.

            "Not anymore!" screamed Arnold, and with that, he regained control of his free

hands, pulled Helga's body closer to him with his left arm and with his right, pushed

her head right in his face, gave her intense flirty eyes for a split second, and then

began kissing her with all his might.    

            Lila was crying, angry with Helga.  And confused about Arnold.  What had

happened?  He didn't want her in his room?  He offered to let Stinky comfort

her?  What was wrong?  And he was in his room with Helga!  Her bewilderment

turned to anger.  And then a thought occurred to her. He was so stiff when she kissed him.  She had thought it just to be shock, but maybe he didn't like her!  But what would have changed his

mind so quickly, just on Thursday she had to make him realize once again

that she only liked him, not liked him liked him.  And why would he let

Helga, who always acted like a bully to cover her feelings toward him, into

his room, and play all the travel games she'd seen strewn about?  She

reached the room that Mr. Simmons was staying in.  She knocked to have the

door answered by...Trevor?!  What was he doing in Mr. Simmons room?  It

didn't matter, she pushed it out of her head.

"Mr. Simmons!  I have something I need to tell you!"

"Lila!  What is it?  Why are you crying?"

"Well, all I was doing was talking to Arnold in the hallway-"  'I can't tell

him what I was really doing, it makes me look guilty too.  And this will

make Helga seem guiltier.'  "-and suddenly Helga rushed out and grabbed my

braids and threw me to the floor!  For no reason!"

"Oh my, we should go talk to her."  He walked into the hallway, followed by

Lila, muttering things about un-specialness.  They headed to Arnold's room.

The door was ajar.  Mr. Simmons pushed the door lightly to reveal Helga and

Arnold, Arnold pinned against the wall, kissing Helga furiously.(not

angrily, strongly)  Before Mr. Simmons could say anything, Lila was a green

streak across the room.

She leapt onto Helga's back, knocking her away from Arnold onto the floor.

She started pulling on Helga's hair, screaming things even I won't repeat.

Helga started to fight back.  Mr. Simmons and Trevor pulled them

apart as Arnold stared, not sure how to feel, back pressed against the wall

so he wouldn't be injured by the pink and green blurs duking it out on the

floor.  (Trevor had an easy time of it being so muscular because he was a bicyclist and all.) They sat them down in some chairs.  Trevor left to let Mr. Simmons do his job and Mr. Simmons gave them a stern lecture about the fight.  Helga and Lila didn't hear a word, they were just scowling at each other, concentrating on how much they hated the other.  Them Mr. Simmons got

to the reason why they had come.

"Now, Helga, if Lila was doing nothing but talking to Arnold, why did you

rush out and throw her to the ground with her braids?"

"Talking?!  Is that what that lying viper told you?  She wasn't just

talking!  She kissed him!!  She was kissing him when I came out!  And she's

known that I li--"  She stopped abruptly, realizing what she'd almost said.

"What, Helga, what did she know about you?  Tell us."  Arnold looked at her,

an expectant smile on his face.  Helga remembered then with a clear

security, 'He likes me!  He kissed me!  And it was really good!!'  She knew

it was safe to tell now.  She turned to Arnold, talking as if no one else

was in the room.

"Arnold, I've liked you since, well, for a really long time only, I've always been afraid to tell you.  I love you so much Arnold, and you don't know how wonderful it feels to know that

you like me too."  He gave her the flirty eyes.  She then turned to Lila.

"And that bitch-"  Mr. Simmons and Arnold gasped.  "-has known that fact

since Romeo and Juliet!!  Not only that, but she's been torturing Arnold!"

"What?!  How was she torturing me?" he asked Helga suspiciously.  Mr.

Simmons was just watching this play of surprisingly complex emotions for

their age unfold.

"Think about it Arnold.  Wasn't she constantly telling you that she didn't

like you like you, she only liked you?  And considering the fact that she

only liked you, didn't she go to an awful lot of places that seemed like

places for a date?  And she was always acting like she felt the same way you

did!  She was dragging you on a string!!"  Arnold glared at Lila.

"Yes, now that I think about it, she was."  The cold anger for Lila was

evident in his voice.

"But Arnold, now you know that I really DO have feelings for you!"  Lila was

speaking nervously, feeling the tables turned against her.

"But you said you only started to like me on the bus ride here!  Lila, quit

lying!  And even if you had liked me before, that would make the playing

with my emotions worse!  And why were you afraid to tell Mr. Simmons that

you were kissing me against my will when Helga attacked you?"

"Against your will!!  Everyone's known since practically when I first came

here that you've had a crush on me!  I thought you would be ecstatic to

learn that I actually like you back!"

"Maybe a couple days ago, but now I like Helga."  Lila glared at the

smirking Helga.

"Oh, enjoy it while you can!  But just wait till he leaves you for another

girl like he did me!"

"I left you because you weren't doing anything on your half of the

relationship!  Relationship?  Ha, that word is a joke to describe how

blindly I worshipped you.  What a fool I was!"

"I hate you both!!  I hope you're never happy together!!  I hope you both

rot in Hell!!"  Lila ran out of the room crying.

"Well that was certainly, um, special, I guess.  It seemed a bit complex for

fourth-graders, and speaking of that, why are you kissing at your age?"

"Well, it seemed the best way at the time to tell Helga how much I love

her."  Mr. Simmons seemed dazed.

"I'm not sure if I should punish you, but, no, no I won't punish you.  You

weren't hurting anybody.  Just make sure you don't do it where people can

see you, okay?  Otherwise I'll have to punish you."

"Don't worry, if anyone saw us, we'd never be away from the teasing.  Arnold

and I will do it out of the way."

"Ok, you can go back to what you were doing if you want to," said Mr.

Simmons, walking to the door.  Arnold and Helga blushed.  Mr. Simmons left.

            Arnold and Helga closed and locked the door and recommenced kissing. Helga and Arnold continued kissing as they walked toward the middle of the room. Arnold, in a fit of passion, threw Helga onto the bed where they continued

fiercely making out. Arnold threw off his flannel shirt, warm from the heat they

were generating. (remember he was wearing his unbuttoned flannel ) After a

while, Arnold took a quick glance at the clock and realized it was nearly six!

They had been making out for hours! Not wanting to, but deciding that he must,

Arnold parted from Helga and put his shirt back on.

            "Helga, it's six o'clock. We should go down for dinner and see what the

plans are. I think the storm is over, and the power seems to be back on."

            Helga, exhausted, got up and checked herself in the mirror.

                "Arnold, we look so obvious."

            Arnold checked himself as well and saw that his hair was ruffled and his

face was sweaty. So Arnold and Helga took quick showers, and freshened up a bit.

By the time they looked presentable it was 6:15.

            "You go on ahead, I'm gonna go see if Gerald is in his room," said Arnold.

            "Ok, I'll see you in the common room my orzo-shaped Prometheus,"

                "Helga," said Arnold turning bright red.

            "You're blushing, my football-headed love-god."

            Arnold gave her a quick kiss goodbye followed by the famous flirty eyes and

went to Gerald's room. Too dense to think to knock, he opened the door to see if

Gerald was in there. He put his hand to his mouth to stifle a giggle at what he

saw. It was Phoebe and Gerald, still at it!

            "Excuse me." said Arnold so as to get their attention.

            "Arnold man!!! What are you doing here?!?!" Gerald squealed embarrassedly

scrambling to put his shirt back on. Phoebe just hid under the covers.

            "Don't worry Gerald, I won't tell. How long have you two been making out

anyway?"

            Gerald looked at the clock. It was nearly 6:30. "A long time man." he said

proudly.

            "Well, I understand Gerald" said Arnold not wanting to tell him about Helga

just yet. "I'm going to go to the common room, I'll see ya in 15."

            "Do we have to?" moaned Gerald.

            "Yes, we do," said Phoebe emerging from under the covers a little ruffled.

            "But Phoebe-Cakes!"

                "Gerald! We've been kissing enough!"

            "We can do more than kissing if you want," said Gerald winking to Phoebe.

            "I think I'll just go now," said Arnold walking out the door.

                "Gerald!" said Phoebe very shocked.

            "What? I'm just getting started!"

                "Gerald, I don't want to! we've been kissing for hours. I don't want to kiss

anymore, OR DO ANYTHING ELSE!! I just want to go down to the common room for

dinner and to see what Mr. Simmons has planned for us now that the storm is

over!"

            "But we don't have to Phoebe-Cakes! Phoebe-Baby! Phoebe the De-licious! I

want to taste some more of your de-licious kisses! Come on! I thought you loved

me!"

            "I do!" screamed Phoebe, "But you're not acting like the Gerald I know, and

until you do, that was the last of my delicious kisses you are going to get!"

With that, she threw the flowers that he had picked for her in the trash,

straightened her ruffled hair and stormed down to the common room.

            "Man! What have I done?" said Gerald to himself. "At least we're in a place

where I can easily get some flowers," and he ran down to the common room to join

the others.

            "Ah, here he comes," said Arnold to Mr. Simmons as Gerald trotted down the

stairs.

            "Ok, now that everyone is here, Let's all go into the dining hall and have a

scrumptious feast prepared by the wonderful owner of the B&B, Trevor's brother

Curtis!" Mr. Simmons smiled at Trevor and they walked into the dining hall,

followed by the rest of the kids.

            Gerald waited for Phoebe to sit down first and took a seat next to her.

Phoebe quickly got up and went to sit next to Helga and then she motioned for

Sheena to sit on the other side of her. Gerald took the closest seat to Phoebe

he could, which was next to Arnold, who was of course, next to Helga. Arnold and

Helga were holding hands under the tablecloth.

                "Gerald, you must have really made Phoebe mad if she won't even sit by you,"

said Arnold with concern.

            "Yeah man, I feel really bad, but she won't let me get near her." Suddenly,

Gerald noticed whom Arnold was sitting by. "Hey Arnold, why are you sitting by

Helga?"

            Arnold didn't quite know what to say when he was saved by Mr. Simmons. "Ok,

class, now that the storm has passed, after dinner, we are going to go back to

the flower garden for more educational flowery fun! We can make it a moonlit

sort of deal if you will. My good friend Trevor here will be more than thrilled

to help you learn about your favorite flowers and make special bouquets for your

families! No one is to leave without a special bouquet! Now on to the delectable

feast!"

            Arnold smiled at Helga. Now that they were together, a romantic stroll

through the flower garden didn't seem like such a bad idea. Everyone started eating dinner. Gerald started bugging Arnold. "Come on, man. You didn't answer me before, why are you sittin' next to Helga?"

"It was an open seat, okay? Does it matter that Helga was in the one next to it?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Gerald looked very depressed.

"Gerald, what's wrong? You haven't touched your food."

"It's Phoebe, man! I don't know how I could've pissed her off so much so early!" He looked around Arnold and Helga to Phoebe. She was laughing at a joke Sheena'd told. Gerald moaned.

 "Come on Gerald, cheer up. Everything will turn out okay. Tell me what happened after I left, maybe I can figure out why she got mad."

"Well, before you left, I suggested more than kissing."

"First mistake, we're only in the fourth grade, Gerald."

            "She said that, and a few other things. Well, first, right after you left, she said my name in a way that said she was shocked at me for my suggestion. Than I said 'What?' and then she said the things about what you just said." Gerald related the rest of the conversation, trying to make his begging seem less like begging.

"Okay, she told you what the problem was in the conversation."

"What, man?! I gotta know! I must woo my Phoebe back!!"

            "First of all, she's not YOUR Phoebe. She's her own Phoebe. Don't start treating her like a possession."

"What?! Where did that come from, Arnold?"

            "I don't know, but second, she said 'But you're not acting like the Gerald I know, and until you do, that was the last of my delicious kisses you are going to get' so what were you doing differently, Gerald?"

            "I don't know!"

            "I do. Come on, think."

            "I just don't know, Arnold! What was I doin' differently?"

            "First of all, you were begging her to stay and kiss more."

"I was not begging!"

"You were begging Gerald."

            "Okay, I was begging, but what else?"

            "You were too eager for her love."

            "But I've loved her since….since forever, man! And I want her back! I wanted her sweet, de-licious kisses again, man!! You gotta help me!" Gerald had Arnold by the front of his shirt.

"I can't help you."

             "WHAT?!?!?!"

            "I've always been able to help you before, but this is your own problem, and I can't help you. This time you're on your own." Gerald let go of Arnold and looked like he was going to start crying.

"Gerald, think about it. If I help you, the ideas will be mine, not yours and will mean nothing. If you do this yourself and really try, and succeed, the gesture will be stronger than if you used my ideas. Women are idealists. They don't care if you did it if you didn't think of it. They're weird that way. OW!!" Helga had squeezed Arnold's hand very hard at his comment.

"What happened?"

"I just-stubbed my toe, that's all."

"Is that true though, I mean about women being idealists?"

            "As far as I can tell it is."

"But I don't know what to do!"

            "Just think about it for a while, Gerald. It'll come to you." Gerald moaned. Helga tried to get Phoebe's attention.

             "Phoebe, I think you should give Gerald another chance," she whispered.

"What! How do you know what's going on?"

"I overheard Arnold and Gerald talking about it. He's really sorry and he doesn't know what to do. He's already miserable."

"Too bad." Phoebe had her nose in the air.

"You're gonna lose him right after you just got him!"

"With him being the way he is, I'm not sure I want him! Do you know what exactly happened?"

"Yeah, Gerald told Arnold. Did he really beg?"

            "Yes. And I hated it."

"Why?! OW!!" This time Arnold had squeezed Helga's hand.

"What is it Helga?"

            "I just stubbed my toe, hehehe."

"I hate being mad at Gerald, but he deserves it. I just hope he tries to make it up to me."

          They all chatted and enjoyed the rest of their dinner. Gerald was sitting there quietly trying to think up ways to get Phoebe back.

         ' Well, we're going to the flower garden after dinner, I can pick her some flowers and then we can go on a romantic stroll through the moonlight and then I can get her into a dark corner and... no, no,, she wouldn't like that. Ok, I can ask for her help naming some flowers, say that she is more beautiful than all the flowers combined, then take her back up to my room and ... no no no! arrrg! OK Gerald, keep thinking...'

          Meanwhile, Arnold and Helga were flirting all through dessert, though they were trying to make it look as if they were fighting. Helga took some of her cake frosting and smeared it on Arnold's nose.

         "Watch where you put your face football-head." she said out loud.

         Arnold made sure no one was looking, smiled at Helga, wiped the frosting off his nose, gave her intense flirty eyes and wiped the frosting on her cheek.

          "Watch it football-head!" she said aloud, but then she smiled at him when no one was looking. He then wiped it off for her, still giving the flirty eyes.

         After everyone was done, they all went back into the flower garden with Mr. Simmons and Trevor leading the way. They all clustered in a big group as Trevor was explaining the flowers to them. Arnold and Helga decided they'd rather not be in the crowd with everyone else and wandered into another part of the garden.

         "Its so pretty out here with the flowers and the moonlight," said Helga

         "Yeah, but not as pretty as you are," said Arnold as he picked a pink flower and tucked it in her hair.

         "Oh Arnold," Helga breathed, "You are the most romantic, caring boy in this whole school! And you picked me of all girls. I feel so honored!"

         "Helga, I'm the one who should be honored." And with that, he began kissing her.

          Meanwhile, Gerald had finally thought of a plan he deemed sufficient to try to get Phoebe back. "Phoebe, come here, I need to talk to you!"

         "Go away Gerald," said Phoebe quietly.

         "No Phoebe! I love you and I don't care who knows it!" he shouted. Phoebe turned bright red and the whole class, Mr. Simmons and Trevor turned to see what was going on.

         "To Phoebe! The most wonderful girl in the world!" He then started to sing.

         "And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIII will always looooove you oooooooooooooooh. I will al-ways love YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU" (that last one was the really high note)

         Gerald finished his song looking proud, but Phoebe just gave him a dirty look and ran off into the garden.

"What did I do?" said Gerald to the class behind him. They were all trying to stifle laughter.

            "Phoebe!!!!" he shouted and ran off into the garden after her.

Phoebe had run into a separate part of the garden away from the class. She was beet red with embarrassment and starting to cry. She found a bench and sat down. She was crying badly now. Gerald was running after her and saw her on the bench.

"Phoebe!" He sat down next to her and she turned away from him. "What did I do?"

"What did you do?!?! You mean you don't know?!?!" She started crying harder.

"Com'ere, Phoebe." He tried to put his arm around her. She wrenched away and ran off. "What am I doing wrong?!"

 *****

            "I can't believe he's that stupid," Phoebe was wailing to herself in another part of the garden. "He didn't realize how embarrassing that was?! And then he tries to sob, sniffle make it better by hugging me!! I don't think he has any idea why I'm mad at him. And now everyone knows that he likes meheheheheeeee!" The last word dissolved into a fresh attack of sobbing. *****            

"Arnold and Helga were passionately making out when Helga pulled away.

"Do you hear something?" she asked Arnold.

"No, why?"

            Helga didn't respond. Instead she walked in the direction the sound was coming from. Arnold followed her. They walked for a minute or two till they found Phoebe, crying her eyes out. "Phoebe!" Helga ran to her friend. She sat on the ground next to her. Arnold stood there, unsure what to do. "Phoebe, what's wrong?"

"G-g-g-gerrraldd," she cried out from the midst of her sobs. She made a bunch of squeaking sobbing sounds that were totally incomprehensible. At least they were for Arnold. Helga was responding to the sounds as if she and Phoebe were having a normal conversation.

When Phoebe finished, Arnold walked over to Helga and asked, "What did she say?" Helga related the entire incident for Arnold, as told to her by Phoebe.

"That idiot!" Arnold cussed under his breath. "I'm gonna go find him."

            Phoebe squeaked something to Helga. "Arnold, Phoebe says to tell him how she feels and how stupid that was since she's… um --indisposed right now."

"I was planning to." Arnold walked off to try and find Gerald.

*****

Gerald was still sitting on the bench when a very angry Arnold found him.

"Gerald, do you know what an idiot you are?!"

"What?! Arnold?!"

"Me and Helga found Phoebe and she told us everything that happened. Well, she told Helga, I couldn't understand a word. But Helga told me what she said and you are an idiot!!"

            "Helga? What were you doing with Helga?!"

Arnold blushed. "Nothing."

"What?! Arnold, I can't believe it, you and Helga G. Pataki!!!"

"You're getting off the subject. The subject is how stupid you are!"

            "Helga G. Pataki!!"

"Gerald! Do you know how embarrassed Phoebe was? You may not have cared that everyone knows that you like her now, but she does!" Arnold went on to fully berate and yell at Gerald and tell him everything about how Phoebe felt. He lectured him and told him the whole event from Phoebe's point of view. When he finished, Gerald was barely holding back tears.

"Oh man, I am an idiot!! I just made everything worse! Now how will I ever get Phoebe to like me again?"

"Well, she said that you weren't acting like the Gerald she fell in love with."

"How am I acting different?"

"I don't know."

"Well than how am I supposed to fix this? The only ways I can think of to fix this are what started it!"

"I don't know Gerald, talk to her. Try and see exactly what's wrong. That 's all I can say."

"Ok, man. But just tell me one thing. All right?"

"What, Gerald?"

"Helga G. Pataki?? How?"

Arnold laughed. "I don't know."

"That's not good enough!!"

Arnold started to walk back to the girls. "Come on, man!! Tell me! Come back here!" *****

Arnold found Helga and Phoebe again and told them that he had told Gerald. Phoebe had stopped crying by now and asked him what Gerald said. "I can't tell you."

            "What? Why not?"

            "All I can tell you at this time is that he sees the error of his ways now. You'll know the rest later."

     Phoebe then noticed something. "Arnold, why were you with Helga anyway?"

     "Should we tell her?" said Arnold to Helga.

     "Sure, maybe it'll get her to laugh."

     "Huh, why would I laugh?" asked Phoebe.

     "Well, Helga and I are sort of, together now."

     "How did that happen?" asked Phoebe managing a slight smile.

     "It's a long story Phoebes, I'll tell ya later."

     "Man, you're lucky Helga, I wish Gerald was more like Arnold."

     "No, you want Gerald to be Gerald, just give him some time, I'm sure he'll revert back to his old self soon. I gave him a little talk."

     "I'll give him some time all right!" And she walked off into the garden.

     "Well, that went well," said Helga.

     "Don't worry about it. I'm sure they'll make up soon. Come on! We have to get those bouquets of flowers picked or Mr. Simmons will be mad."

     The whole class was dispersed through the garden, picking flowers for their bouquets. Gerald was on the lookout for Phoebe and he spotted her picking some small, red flowers.

            "Phoebe! I'm really really sorry! I thought the song would cheer you up and make you see how much I care for you! I was stupid! Please forgive me!"

      Phoebe just walked away. Gerald, crestfallen, decided to pick a large bouquet of the most beautiful flowers he could find for Phoebe. That way he could get his assignment done as well.

     Arnold and Helga were having a lot of fun picking flowers, but they were also kind of frustrated. Now that the class had dispersed, there were kids everywhere.

            "They're going to see us!" said Helga.

      "Don't worry, they have to find out eventually, just pretend we're at the same spot by coincidence or something."

     "But I want to do this!" she said, looked around to make sure no one was looking, and kissed him.

     "Yeah, I know you do," said Arnold giving her the flirty eyes, "but if you don't want anyone to find out, we can't be so obvious."

     "Oh, alright, but what do I do about this?"

     Arnold looked down at Helga's bouquet of flowers and noticed that it was a very good likeness of his head.

     Arnold giggled a bit. "Helga, that's really good, it looks just like me, but how 'bout you rearrange the flowers for now and put them back when we get home."

     "Oh, ok, goodbye my flowery vision of love," and she rearranged her peach, yellow, and blue blossoms.

     "I want these to be for you," said Arnold pointing to his bouquet of various different pink flowers.

     "Oh, Arnold, I love you!" she said and began kissing him. Just then Gerald ran up.

     "Hey Arn-- oh my god."

     Arnold released his lips from Helga's and said, "Hey Gerald, any luck with Phoebe?"

     Gerald just stared, gawking.

     "Earth to Geraldo!" said Helga.

     "Wha-- How-- huh?"

     "Ok Gerald, if you must know..." Arnold then proceeded to tell Gerald the whole story.

     "Ok, that clears up a lot," said Gerald sadly, slumping to the ground looking sad.

     "I guess things didn't go so well with Phoebe?" asked Arnold.

     "She's still ignoring me man, and now I hear this perfect tale of love between you and Helga and it just makes me even sadder. Tell me Arnold. Why do you have such flawless times with girls? First Lila throws herself upon you, then you turn her down to be with Helga for some strange reason, no offense Helga, and then you have this wonderful, perfect romance, while I, Gerald Johanssen, finally get the girl of my dreams, and then I blow it!"

            "Gerald, I don't go pressuring Helga into doing things she doesn't want to do. I just act like I think a guy should act toward a girl."

     "In other words Geraldo, Arnold lets me be the boss of the relationship."

     "No Helga, we're equals, and I think Gerald was trying to be the boss of Phoebe too much."

     "Maybe you're right Arnold. Now all I have to do is figure out how to get Phoebe to forgive me."

     "Good luck Gerald," said Arnold.

     Just then Mr. Simmons called out to the class, "Ok, class! Our time is up! Everyone back to the B&B for bed! Show me your bouquets on the way in so I can give you credit!"

            Everyone piled back into the B&B. Giggles could be heard every time Mr. Simmons squealed, "Ooh, lovely bouquet!"

     "What a throw pillow," said Helga to Arnold as they entered the common room.

     "Maybe the guy just likes flowers," said Arnold.

Everyone went up to his or her room for the night. Arnold and Helga waited in the common room. They had decided that since maybe some of their friends might try coming into their rooms, it wasn't safe to be together there. They waited till everyone had left to go to bed and then they snuck off to a smaller room, where it was darker, more isolated, and comfier. They didn't know though that one person was following them. Lila had seen them all day together and was infuriated. Every little touch, every smile and look added to her fury. Now they were going off together to a dark and quiet room! She had to do something, her wounded pride would not let her sit idle. She followed them in the hope that an idea would come to her. Arnold and Helga sat down on a divan. Lila watched in fury as the two exchanged a few words than started kissing. Lila stood there, digging her nails into the plaster on the walls, watching it crumble off and fall to the floor. She was making small dents on the wall, she was so angry. A part of her deep down knew it was her fault. She had played with him, and waited too long, but the angry part of her shoved the truthful part down. She didn't want to hear that it was her fault, she wanted revenge. But she needed a plan.

*****

Lila stood there watching, as Helga and Arnold were kissing. She hid halfway behind the door, ready to duck out of sight if they happened to look up. She didn't need to worry though. They weren't about to look up.

     Arnold and Helga began to get more into it. They were kissing more violently now . Lila could see that their mouths were wide open, and their tongues were moving rapidly. Arnold pushed Helga so they were laying on the divan. Their legs were next to each other's, Arnold was on top of Helga from the waist up, still kissing her violently in a fit of passion. He tossed off his unbuttoned flannel yet again from the heat they were generating. His hair was dripping with sweat. Helga just allowed herself to be kissed and seemed like she was the happiest she had ever been.

      Lila's nails dug into the wall corner so much she broke off a chunk. She decided that she had had enough. She had been watching them for a quarter of an hour and they hadn't looked up once. She decided she had to take action. She strode into the room.

"Gggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, STOP KISSING!!!!!!" Lila's growl rose into a shriek. Arnold was so startled that he fell of the back-less divan. She stomped up to Helga and threw her off the divan. Her intense anger was giving her unbelievable strength for a girl her size. In his surprise Arnold quickly put back on his shirt. That was a mistake. Lila reached behind the divan and lifted him up by the flannel shirt. He gasped; her normally cute and adorable face was twisted into a grotesque sneer by her rage. She lifted him above her head and threw him against the wall. He smashed into it hard, the breath was knocked out of him. Helga got up and slammed into Lila's back. Lila easily reached behind her and tossed Helga away like a rag doll. She advanced on Arnold. He scrambled up against the wall, scared of her unearthly strength. "Stop cringing! I'm not here to maim or kill you. Though I admit that would be fun, and ever so satisfying, I'm not doing it. Though with the way you've oh so carelessly abandoned me, you deserve it!" Lila had pushed the truthful part of herself down so far she would only believe her own black lies.

 Arnold glanced behind her at Helga, who'd been knocked out when Lila tossed her. Lila saw his eyes move. "You're looking at HER! Aren't you?" Arnold shook his head hard. "And now you're lying to me." She shrieked and punched the wall above his head. It cracked, raining plaster on him. "I liked you, I loved you and you repay me by leaving me for this…this….BITCH!!!"

Arnold's courage came back. He stood up suddenly. "Don't call Helga a bitch! She's nicer and kinder than you ever were! And she actually loves me back! You never loved me until the bus ride!"

"And now you defend her?!"

"Gladly, slut!" Lila gasped, anger ebbing and giving way to disbelief. "You're nothing but a two bit-whore!"

Lila gave a closed mouth shriek as she slapped Arnold across the face. Mr. Simmons came in the room just in time to see Lila slap Arnold. "Lila!" Mr. Simmons came up to her and grabbed her so she couldn't fight back. He put her down on the divan. Arnold went to Helga, kneeling down to see how she was. As he leaned over her, some of the sweat from his hair dripped onto her face, awakening her. She stirred.

"Arnold? Arnold! Where's Lila?!"

"Mr. Simmons is here. He's got her."

"Oh Arnold, did she hurt you?"

"All she did was scare me and slap me." Mr. Simmons stared at the destruction. There were broken tables, a crack in the wall, and a corner missing a chunk. He looked at Arnold and Helga. Helga was holding her head and Arnold was rubbing his cheek and trying to get the plaster out of his hair.

"Did Lila do all this?" asked Mr. Simmons faintly with disbelief.

Arnold nodded and told him what happened. "Me and Helga were just, um-well," he blushed. "You said as long as we were in no one's way we could."

"I know and you two are at no fault for what happened. This is all Lila's doing and she's the one who'll get punished." Arnold and Helga went to Helga's room and Mr. Simmons took Lila to where she would be away from everyone else. They kissed each other fiercely, and made out passionately till they were too tired to do anything but sleep.  Arnold was too tired to go back to his own room, so they fell asleep in each other's arms.

    The next morning, Gerald woke up early. He had had a very rough night tossing and turning. All he could think about was Phoebe and he couldn't get to sleep. It was about 6:30 in the morning, and Mr. Simmons had ordered that everyone be down to breakfast by 8. Gerald got dressed and pondered over whether he should try to go visit Phoebe or not. He finally decided that since it was so early, Phoebe would just get mad at him again if he woke her up, but he needed to talk to someone. He finally decided that his best friend wouldn't mind being woken up so early, so he decided to set off to Arnold's room.

     Gerald crept out into the silent hallway and knocked on Arnold's door. He waited, but got no response, so he opened the door to find Arnold not there. Gerald wondered where Arnold could have gone, but then decided that maybe Arnold had gotten up early and went to Helga's room. Gerald wished that he had had this luxury with Phoebe, but still deciding not to bother her, he went to Helga's room to see if Arnold was there.

He knocked softly on the door and got no answer yet again. Feeling frustrated, he opened the door slowly and to his great surprise, he found Arnold and Helga sleeping in Helga's bed.

"Arnold!" Gerald cried out. "Arnold! What did you do?! How?! Why?!"

     Arnold and Helga awoke to Gerald's cries. "Huh?" said Arnold, still sleepy.

            "Arnold!" cried Gerald again.

     Arnold finally jolted up, fully awake and looked down on the bed to see Helga there trying to sleep. "Gerald... this is not what it looks like."

     Gerald wasn't listening. "Fourth grade man! Fourth grade! You said so yourself! Even I would never! Fourth Grade!"

            Gerald's shouts forced Helga fully awake. "Listen up tall hair boy! If you're thinking that we--- well, we didn't! And even if I had wanted to, Arnold would have never---" Arnold blushed at this comment.

     "Then why---?" asked Gerald, pointing to the bed.

     "Well, we were making out and then we fell asleep," said Arnold quickly.

     "Oh, that's all," asked Gerald.

     "That's all. I thought you knew me better than that."

            Gerald's face turned from shocked to sad. He sat on the floor against the door and buried his face in his arms. "I don't even know myself anymore. This whole thing with Phoebe is driving me insane. I really care about her, but she won't accept my apologies. I try to be the Gerald she wants me to be, but I just end up being this other Gerald, and I can't help it. I don't know what it is."

            "Hormones," said Helga. "The male hormone for kissing and junk. All guys have it; just most of them haven't found it at age 9. Nothing you can do about 'em. Just try to control them a little better."

     "How do you know all that Dr. Pataki?" asked Gerald.

     "I see it all the time with Olga's boyfriends. They all want it bad, and Bob keeps muttering stuff about hormones."

            "Thanks Helga," said Gerald. "I feel a bit better now. I just need to figure out what to do about Phoebe. Arnold ma man, you have a great girl." Helga smiled and Arnold blushed. Gerald left them alone and went back to his room.

     "I guess we better get up huh?" asked Arnold.

     "Yeah, I guess so, the throw pillow wants us down there in an hour."

     Arnold had to go back to his room to get ready, so he gave Helga a goodbye kiss and left for his room. Everyone got all packed and ready to leave and met down in the dining hall at 8.

     "Good Morning Class!" said Mr. Simmons. "I hope you all slept well! I know I did!" he gave Trevor a quick glance and continued. "The rooms were beyond compare, Curtis! Thanks for letting us stay!" He gave one more quick glance in Trevor's direction. "Class, I want everyone to give a big special thank you to Curtis for letting us use his wonderful B&B and to Trevor," he said smiling at Trevor, "for being such a fabulous help with the flowers!"

     There was a big chorus of, "Thank you Curtis and Trevor!"

     Then everyone began eating. Gerald wolfed down his eggs, bacon, toast, and orange juice, and then went to see if Phoebe would talk to him. He thought he had given her plenty of time away from him.

     "Hi Phoebe!" said Gerald happily.

            "Gerald." said Phoebe coolly.

     "Um, so, uh, did you have a good sleep?"

     "Uh huh," she said, still practically ignoring him.

            "Phoebe, look, I'm really really sorry. I just want things to go back to the way they were."

     Phoebe just sat there, eating her breakfast.

     Gerald gave up and went back to his seat next to Arnold. He noticed that Arnold and Helga were holding hands under the tablecloth again and sighed.

     After breakfast Mr. Simmons announced, "Ok, everybody get your stuff from your rooms! We'll be leaving shortly!"

            Everyone ran up to their rooms and came down with suitcases and bouquets of flowers.

     "Do I have to keep this sissy bouquet of flowers?" whined Harold pointing to his unHaroldlike gorgeous bouquet of blue flowers.

     "Well, no, Harold you don't, but it would make a very special Harold Berman gift for your mother or some other special lady."

     Harold thought about big Patty and decided to keep his flowers.

     "I'll rearrange these for you when we get back home," said Helga, pointing to her disarranged Arnold head bouquet as they got on the bus.

     "And I'll give these to you then as well," said Arnold pointing to his bouquet and giving Helga the flirty eyes.

            Everyone got on the bus. Mr. Simmons gave Curtis and Trevor one final handshake goodbye, his hand lingering in Trevor's for but a second. "Goodbye! I'll be back next year!" he called out to them and got on the bus.

            On the bus, Gerald was three seats behind Phoebe and watching her miserably. Surprisingly, no one had teased him about the song in the garden. He'd hoped they'd forgotten about it. He was trying to think of how he could talk to Phoebe and get her to stay and listen. And once she did, what exactly would he say? He was puzzled, but was working on it. 'I can't make what I'll say perfect; it'll sound like a speech. I know! I'll just say what I'm thinking and how I feel! Now how will I get her to stay put and listen? I could tie....no! I could lock......no! I could…NO!! All of these have to do with imprisonment and she still wouldn't listen anyway. Crap! What am I gonna do?!'

Arnold and Helga knew they couldn't kiss on the bus, and didn't want to be apart for an entire five hours. To all appearances Helga had bullied Arnold into playing his travel games with her, while they had actually planned this so that they could flirt quietly and everyone would think it was them playing the games. They did this for the entire five hours of the bus ride. Many times when she and Arnold were flirting, Helga had to restrain herself very strongly, mentally, from kissing Arnold. They finally got back home. Arnold and Helga went to one side where no one would hear them. "Helga, how long do you think it'll be before you can come over?" He gave her the flirty eyes, telling her quite plainly what they would do when she did come.

"Why can't I go straight to your house?"

"You mean your parents are so bad that they won't care if you go somewhere else first before you come home?"

"They probably didn't realize I left."

"Then by all means, come home with me."

             "Gladly, my football-headed love god." Arnold blushed.

Arnold and Helga walked back home to his house, putting a little distance between them to avoid suspicion. When Arnold got home he realized he'd forgotten a possible problem. Grandpa!!! What would Grandpa say when he found out, which he was sure to do. Arnold went up to his room, unpacking as he thought about the problem. Helga had arrived eight minutes after Arnold. She hid her bag in the alley and knocked on the front door. Grandpa answered it.

"Is Arnold home?" she asked, though she full well knew the answer.

Grandpa raised a questioning eyebrow. "Yes. I'll tell him you're here."

"Oh, no need. I'll just go up there myself."

"All right then." Helga walked up the stairs to Arnold's room. Unlike other people would be, she wasn't confused when she saw door tag after door tag that either said the tenant's name or empty. And when she reached the end of the hallway she didn't think she'd missed it, as others would have. She saw the familiar string and pulled it for the stairs.

"Helga! Hi! Wait, how did you know to pull the string? Most people would just think it was the attic."

"Umm, well-uh, hehehe." Helga laughed nervously.

"Wait, never mind, you've been in here before. Everyone knows I turned the attic into my room. Common knowledge, sorry."

"So now that I'm here, what do you want to talk about?"

"Who says we have to talk?" Arnold said giving her the flirty eyes. She melted as he started kissing her.

*****

"It's odd, Pookie. I wonder if he knows."

"What's odd, Phil?"

"Arnold. I wonder if he knows that Helga likes him."

"Kimba knows about Idella? Why do you think that?"

"Well, Helga just came to the front door, and acted like Arnold was expecting her. And just a while ago, I said hi to Arnold as he was unpacking, and he was pacing and muttering something that sounded like 'Helga' when I found him, and he acted startled to see me, and he was acting wary around me."

"Wary? Why would Kimba need to be wary around you?"

"I don't know, but I'm gonna go up, excuse us from Helga, and talk to him." Grandpa headed up the stairs. He got to Arnold's room, and heard what sounded like kissing! He peeked through the keyhole, and saw Arnold and Helga making out! He ran back to the room Grandma was in before shouting, "HOLY SMOKES!!"

"What is it, Phil?!"

"He does know!"

"How did you find that out so quickly?"

"They were kissing! It's not that I've got a problem with it; it's just the shock! When did he find out? I'll have to congratulate him later."

*****

 Helga looked at the clock. She hated to admit it, but she'd been there long enough. She had to go home. She told Arnold.

"Do you have to? Your parents won't care, stay here a little longer."

"I can't, Arnold. Believe me, I want to, but I can't. I should go home and unpack my bags."

"All right, wait, where are your bags?"

"I hid them outside. Do I look obvious?"

"No, do I?"

"No. Okay, goodbye my beloved, till next time."

"Goodbye, beautiful Helga, till next time my eyes fall upon your sweet and gentle face." He gave her flirty eyes.

"You sound like Shakespeare." She left, giggling.

Arnold went down a little while after Helga left. Grandpa stopped him in the hallway.

"Howdy, Short man."

"Hey Grandpa," said a cheerful Arnold.

"So, anything happen with your friend with the one eyebrow?"

"Helga?" Arnold was nervous. Why would Grandpa be asking about Helga with that sly look in his eye unless he knew?

"Yes, Helga. How -uh- are your feelings toward her?"

Arnold was panicking on the inside, but outside he struggled to act normal. "She's a bully, picks on me more than almost everyone else, it's obvious she hates me, and I don't like her either."

"That's not what it looked like to me earlier, hehehe."

"YOU SAW US?!?!" Arnold turned crimson.

"There's no need to be embarrassed, short man! It's perfectly natural thing to do when you like a girl." Arnold turned redder, if possible.

"I was just thinking it's about time you figured out that she likes you."

"You knew?"

"Of course I knew! What kind of a Grandpa would I be if I didn't? Now let' s go eat dinner! Ooohhhh, your Grandma made loose meat sandwiches."

"But Grandpa……..?!"

*****

Gerald walked to Phoebe's house. He checked his pocket again for the precious note. It was still in his pocket. He went to the door. He put the note on the door, knocked, and ran into the alley so they wouldn't see him. Phoebe answered the door. She saw there was no one there, and then noticed the note. She took it off the door and went inside. Gerald sighed in relief, and then headed to the park.

*****

 Phoebe went up to her room after answering the door. She opened the note addressed to her. That was on the door.

Please, I need to talk to you! Come to the park as soon as you can today. Meet me at the clearing down the stream in the woods. I'll be waiting. -Anonymous

She was suspicious but curious. She told herself curiosity killed the cat, and argued with herself, but decided to go to the park. She left right away.

*****

Gerald was pacing around the clearing. He checked to see if he still had what he needed for his plan. Good, it was still safe under his shirt. His worries plainly voiced themselves in his head. 'What if she can't come today? What if she doesn't come at all? What if she doesn't listen? What if it doesn't work? What if I just make it worse? ' He was anxious and nervous. Phoebe was walking through the woods and she saw the clearing ahead. She walked into the clearing and saw Gerald pacing along the bank of the stream.

"You! I might've known!" She started to walk off, but Gerald ran after her and grabbed her arm.

"Phoebe! Wait!"

"Let go of me, Gerald! I don't want to hear your petty excuses!"

"Petty excuses? If that's what you think…." She turned around and glared at him.

"That is what I think! Now let me go!"

"Fine then. I didn't think you'd listen to me. I didn't want to have to do this, but I have to. You've forced me to it."

"What will you do?" Gerald let go of her arm, but she didn't walk off. He walked away from her a bit, and then turned sideways. 'Here you go, Gerald. You can do it.' He reached into his shirt and pulled out….a dagger!! He placed it point first against his chest.

"Gerald!!"

"No, Phoebe, stay back! I loved you, and you spurned me, tossed me aside like some old rag."

"I didn't!" said Phoebe, knowing full well she did, but not wanting him to kill himself.

"I still love you. I tried to get you to forgive me. I tried to talk to you, apologize, but you didn't listen. You mean the world to me. Even before we knew we loved each other, I loved you so much I would die for you,"

Phoebe was starting to tear up at how much he loved her, and what she had done to him.

"I was foolish, Phoebe. I let my hormones get away with me and asked for more than I should have, more than you were ready to give. I didn't know what I had done, not thinking. Arnold told it to me from your point of view and I saw what an idiot I was. I hated myself and knew I had to make it up to you, but you wouldn't give me a chance! Now that I know it 's hopeless to ever think that we can be together again, that I've lost the woman of my dreams as soon as I got her, I don't want to live. Why would I want to live when the only thing I value more than my own life hates me? You shunned me for my mistakes and now I shall die for both our idiocy." Phoebe was crying heavily now.

"Gerald, no! Don't do it!! I'm a silly idiot and I'm not worth killing yourself over!!"

She tried to grab the dagger, but he closed his eyes and plunged it into his chest. He fell to the ground, hand still pushing the dagger in even in death. His eyes were closed in a grotesque parody of sleep.

"NOOOO!!!!!!" Phoebe shrieked her sorrow to the sky. She fell to her knees next to his body. She pulled the dagger out of his hand and chest. Wait; there wasn't a hole in his shirt, or blood. She looked at the clean dagger.

"What the?"

"Collapsible," said Gerald, eyes still closed. Phoebe gave a closed-mouth shriek of anger as she flung the dagger away.

"I got it at a joke prop shop. All the things I said were true though."

"You idiot!" Phoebe lifted his head and kissed him on the mouth. "Gerald Johanssen, I hate you!" She gave him an even longer kiss. "Do you know how badly you scared me?"

"That was the idea."

"Were ALL of the things you said true?"

"All of it was true. And yes, I still would've killed myself if this hadn't worked."

"God damn, you are a foolish idiot, but I love you."

"I love you too, more than my own life." They kissed.

"De-licious."

THE END!!!