Disclaimer: Don't own anything, not even Alan Rickman :(
Gwen wished for an Omega 13 device of her own. Although, of course, by now it wouldn't be of help anymore – three days had passed since what she referred to in her mind as "the incident", and no device in the universe could have the power to erase it. But if she had had one then, she would have activated it immediately, without even stopping to think about it.
The expression on Alexander's face had been terrible – a mixture of confusion and disappointment, only to be replaced by a pained smile and a mumbled "Sorry." He'd vanished immediately.
Gwen had stepped away from Jason instantly; her heart, the moment before skipping happily along in her chest, now frozen in icy terror. She didn't even remember what she had said to Jason as she left – some hurried apology, a meaningless excuse just to get away from him. But Alex had already been gone, and she hadn't seen him since. Gwen had thought of calling him up – thought of it many times within the last three days – but in the end she just didn't know what to say to him.
She sighed, exasperated at herself. It wasn't supposed to be like this. She was supposed to be happy, overjoyed even that Jason had finally realised what she meant to him, and even had found the guts to tell her. And really, she had been. And it had felt so good when he had finally taken her into his arms. But when they had broken away from each other and seen Alexander stand in the doorway, every pleasant sensation had fled her.
Three days. Three days to ponder her emotions, three days to find out why the hurt she felt mirrored the pain she had seen in Alexander's face. And the simple truth came as a shocking blow to her: she did not love Jason. Or she did, very much in fact, but she was not in love with him. Gwen had only thought so for years and years. Had believed him to be the one for her, had patiently waited for him to realise that behind all that stale flirtation true love waited. It didn't.
Jason was a part of her family and she would always love him, but it just wasn't him she phoned when she was sad. It wasn't him she would cuddle up to at spontaneous movie evenings, and it wasn't him whose hand she almost automatically took whenever they were together.
Gwen had cried a lot these last three days. Cried because they had, however unintentional, hurt Alex. Cried because now she would have to hurt Jason. But most of all, she had cried because of all the years she had wasted with her illusions, while all the time faithful Alexander had been at her side, always giving, always loyal, always overlooked and underappreciated. Ever since they had met he had been her closest friend, and ever since they had met she had never truly looked at the man in front of the personality.
But no longer. Her blindness was cured, and Gwen would cry no more. If they had lost twenty years – and Gwen wasn't entirely sure you could call the most important friendship she had ever had a loss – then she would take care to make up for it.
Gwen shivered, hugging herself in front of the apartment building. It was a cold evening, and her nervousness made her edgy and shaky. Alex was definitely at home – she could see the light from his living room windows on the fourth floor. It would be silly to stand out here any longer, especially as she had walked up and down the block for the last thirty minutes. Gwen rolled her eyes and started to mentally count to three while pressing the doorbell at the count of two to outfox herself. After a few seconds she heard the well-known voice of her friend on the speaker.
"Yeah, who is it?"
"Alex, it's me. Let me in?"
Maybe she just imagined the slight pause.
"Sure."
The buzzer sounded, and she walked into the complex and up the stairs to Alexander's small flat. As always, the front door was already opened. She stepped through, looking around.
"Alex?"
"In the kitchen!"
Gwen walked towards his voice, taking slow breaths to calm herself down. He was her friend. She had never felt awkward around him before, it would be silly to start now.
"Hey there."
Alex was standing in front of the fridge, holding two bottles of beer. "You hungry? I haven't got much, but we could always order something."
Ah. Denial. Gwen took one of the bottles from him. "Nah, thanks. Actually I wanted to talk to you."
Still no trace of any sentiment. He was the best actor of them, Gwen had to give him that.
Alex gave her a short half-grin. "Well, let's sit down then, shall we?"
They plopped down on the sofa, both taking a sip of the beer, Alexander obviously making a point of not avoiding to meet her eyes. "So."
"So. Uhm. Look, I don't know how to put this to you -"
"No. Gwen. Please." Alexander had silenced her rather hastily, putting his beer down on the sofa table and looking fixedly at her left shoulder. "Look. We all knew that you and Jason are made for each other. It was only a matter of time until he came around, too." Alex gave her a forced grin. "You have no reason to be worried about this. He's learned his lesson. Jason's a good guy, basically. You'll be very happy. I know you'll be, he'll take care of that."
Half of Gwen wanted to scream in frustration, while the other half briefly speculated on simply slapping Alex for being so goddamn noble about it. It was very disconcerting. Not that she had expected him to fly out at her for choosing Jason or fall down at her feet and pledge his undying love for her, but this was a bit of an anti-climax. She groaned, burying her face in her hands in exasperation. "For Christ's Sake, Alex! Jason and I are not a couple."
No reaction.
"Hello? Anyone home?"
"Sorry. What?
Gwen rolled her eyes. "I said, Jason and I are not. A. Couple."
Alex was the perfect picture of a man who had prepared a grand speech only to find himself fronting a completely empty hall. "Uh?"
"Exactly."
"But… Why? I mean, I saw you…" Alex was looking so confused that she had to smile against her will. If she ever told him she thought he was cute he'd probably never talk to her again.
"That was – nothing. It didn't mean anything. I mean it did, but not what you think."
"What I think?" Always so very careful with his thoughts and feelings.
"I'm not in love with him. I'm in love with you." Ouch. She hadn't meant to be quite that blunt.
Alexander didn't even move the tiniest muscle. "Me."
"Yup." Gwen took a large mouthful of her beer. "You."
"Okay." Still no evident reaction.
"You know, I had hoped for a bit more than that." Gwen couldn't help it. She started laughing softly.
"Uh – thanks?"
"That's better, yes." She bit back a chuckle. "You're welcome."
"I'm glad." Alex was obviously shell-shocked, trying very hard to keep his countenance. If she had waited for a good opportunity to throw him completely off-balance, now was the perfect moment.
Gwen set down her bottle very carefully, then proceeded to take Alexander's own bottle out of his unresisting grip to set it down next to her's. He was looking at her out of wide and anxious eyes, looking vulnerable and somehow very young. How could she have not known all this time?
Unconsciously biting her lip she moved closer to him, steadying herself on the back of the sofa, thrilled to find him instinctively moving in towards her. Cautiously she took his upper lip between her own, pulling away from him just a little bit, then moving back to apply more pressure. His hands came up to caress her hair, and suddenly she was sinking into his lap, her arms around his neck, their lips moving over each other's in a quiet rhythm. Alexander sighed softly into her mouth, causing a feeling of delicious nausea in her belly and making her moan silently. He pulled away from her, the sudden absence of his lips creating physical pain.
"I love you, you know." His eyes were searching her's, looking for some sort of proof, some sort of reassurance.
And this was it. This was the real thing. This was how it was supposed to feel, Gwen thought. No need for an Omega 13 device any longer. Some mistakes were obviously only for the better.