Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and all associated materials are property of Squaresoft. The song "Iko Iko" originally belongs to Belle Stars.

Iko Iko
By: Nanaki BH

"And rule number ten!"

"Shit-fuck, Reno! There's a rule number ten? Can't we just play the goddamn game already?"

Reno sat back down in their circle of, as he called it, "mutual employment", crossing his arms over his chest in a childish display of irritation. "The rules of the game are very important, Rude," he said, balling his fists "And if you can't sit down and listen to the rules then I'll have no choice but to exclude you from the game."

"I see Rude's point," Elena agreed, shifting uncomfortably as Reno's glare became focused on her. "I'm sorry Reno!" and it came out as a kind of yelp. She was quick to compose herself, noticing Tseng's own vicious glare. "It's just that this game doesn't have many rules."

"Of course it does!" Reno said, standing up with his hands adamantly placed on his hips. "Just listen to the last rule because it's the most important!"

A collective sigh was shared and they all listened in. "You too, Rufus. Listen!" He yelled, a finger being pointed fast in their president's direction. The half-laugh, half-sigh Rufus gave him made his eye twitch. Luckily, no one caught it in the dim light of the room.

"Now then," Reno said through an exasperated sigh. "Let's get down to business."

"Business…" Tseng scoffed quietly to himself. "What does Reno know about –" Elena jabbed him roughly in the ribs before Reno had the chance to hear him. None of them were quite certain why they were even in the room at that point, "intent" on playing a game with Reno. It was probably because he had suggested it and once one person agrees to anything Reno says then it must be followed through until completion. It was quite the tangled web but Elena wasn't about to let Tseng get electrocuted by his own stupidity… not that she doubted Tseng could hold his own against Reno or anything…

"Rule number ten: if you smile, you're out and you must kiss the person who is it."

This time, a collective exclamation of shock sounded through the room. Reno sat back down Indian-style in the circle, folding his arms over his chest. "Rules are rules," he said, giving them a slight shrug as consolation.

"But that isn't any fair!" Elena whined. "Why would the person who is it want to kiss the person they just got out?"

Reno grinned, offering another flippant shrug. "You tell me." Upon seeing her confused and bewildered expression, Reno decided to explain for her. "It makes the game more interesting. We have to make "Honey, do you love me?" a more interesting game somehow, you know."

Tseng, being the no-fun, stick-up-his-ass guy he is, decided to throw in his two cents. "If by interesting, you mean disgusting, then okay."

"And if by disgusting, Tseng means amazing, then okay," Rude said, grinning. Somehow Rude had managed to follow Reno's logic as usual. If it bothered Tseng then it was bound to be an awesome game. They had him trapped; locked in a room with no choice but to play their game. If he didn't… well, then they would think of a suitable punishment.

"May I also add that if at any time you feel uncomfortable, you may use a safe-word. The safe-word will be "lollipops". Use it wisely." Now that Reno was confident that his assembly new the rules, he decided to let the game commence. "I'll start first," he said. He pushed himself up onto his knees and began with the first person immediately on his right. Tseng's face paled to a sickening white color when Reno approached. "Honey, do you love me?"

"Like fucking hell I would say I love you, you freak!" Reno drew closer on his hands and knees, staring him down seductively.

"LOLIPOPS!"

Mission accomplished; Reno moved on to Elena.

"Honey, do you love me?" he asked sweetly, batting his eyelashes.

The edges of her lips twitched and for a moment she just sat there. "H-honey, I love you but I just can't smile." Reno noticed as she practically broke out in sweat with the effort to keep herself from grinning madly. Now that's how the game is played, he thought, giving her thumbs up.

Satisfied with his answer, Reno moved on to Rude. "Honey, do you –" Quite unexpectedly, Rude plowed into Reno, smashing their lips together. Reno had to use both hands to pry Rude from his face. "Goddamn, at least let me finish the fucking sentence!"

"Who cares? It's my turn now." Reno rolled his eyes at him and sat down in his place.

"Dude, you're so weird," he said before Rude moved on to Rufus. Rude simply shrugged and Reno couldn't resist a laugh. "See, I would have been the one laughing! Good job!"

Reno noticed that Rufus' usually placid exterior was beginning to crack even before Rude made his pass at him. "Honey, do you love me?" Rude asked seriously in his usually tenor. The absurdity was more than enough to make Rufus sputter, doubling over in laughter. Small sparkles of tears appeared at the corners of his eyes and reflected with whatever little light was left in the room.

Rufus sighed, coming down from his giggle-fit. "Alright, Rude, you win." He leaned forward and gave Rude a small kiss on the cheek. Rude was very clearly satisfied with his accomplishment and sat back down next to his buddy, folding his hands in his lap. "Now it's my turn."

Their president, who seemed to have been paying close attention to the way the game worked, got up on his hands and knees like Reno and Rude had before him. It was an odd sight indeed; Rufus on all fours, although to Reno it was sort of familiar – not that any of the others knew anything about that. The president began his slow crawl over to Tseng where he finally sat neatly, patting down the wrinkles in his suit.

"Okay," he sighed, trying his best to remember the words. "Baby, if you love me, smile."

For a moment Reno, from his place across from them in the circle, thought he was hearing things. Clearly, Rufus was an old pro at "Honey, do you love me?" given that he knew the alternative name of the game. None of them commented and he decided to let it go. For some reason, the game seemed ten times sexier with Rufus saying that instead anyway.

He focused back in on the game, just in time to hear Tseng screaming the safe-word again.

Rufus moved over to Elena and Tseng was left like a train wreck in his wake; grasping at his chest, looking as though he might be on the verge of a heart attack.

Elena, who had managed to survive Reno's advance previously, did just as well the second time. Of course, Reno could practically see the smoke rising from her ears, but it was a game of concentration, after all. And, if he wasn't mistaken, it appeared that she had donned a blush. Was Elena interested in his Rufus? Reno gritted his teeth, fists clenching and unclenching in silent seething jealousy as Elena and Rufus laughed together mindlessly afterwards.

A couple more seconds and Rufus came to Rude. "Now, Rude," he said, trying to suppress his own smirk, "I already know that you're good." He backed away a little bit, turning his face slightly to the side. "Promise you won't… attack me like you did Reno?"

Rude sighed. It was as if Rufus had seen right through his plans. "I promise," he replied begrudgingly.

Much to Reno's disapproval, he climbed into Rude's lap and very seductively whispered the words of the game. Rude said nothing. He was absolutely silent; his mouth slightly agape, as though he were their pondering what he should say in return or as though he was stunned senseless. Reno's jealousy was beginning to come to a peak. His fists were shoved into his pockets and he looked away on purpose to keep his concentration up.

"H-honey…" It was all Rude was able to mutter out. Each time he tried to speak, he kept failing, only able to mutter the first few words and nothing else. Rufus, triumphant, hopped from his lap and made his way on hands and knees over to Reno who had been so patiently waiting in agony. A sly smile stretched from ear to ear and his eyes narrowed the same seductive way they had to trick Rude. If a plan is tried and fails, why use it again? Reno wondered.

"Baby, if you love me, smile."

With those tempting eyes turned on him, the words finally struck him. The reason for why Rufus had even agreed to play finally sunk in. Their faces were already so unbearably close. He could have sworn he felt Rufus' heartbeat near his own, throbbing painfully fast and full of unrequited desire. Why hadn't it been obvious when they'd been saying it the entire time? Perhaps because it was in jest. But now… with Rufus staring him down so intensely…

"Do you give up?" he asked.

Without warning nor any further thought, Reno rushed forward and pressed their lips flush together, grasping his face in his palms, bringing them as close together as he possibly could without suffocating them. A small surprised whimper escaped their president's lips, but the surprise faded from his eyes quickly to be replaced by tenderness. Stunned silence surrounded them which was hint enough for the two of them that the others were watching incredulously. Neither particularly cared though; the game had been forgotten. Rules were no longer required for such a thing.

Elena dragged a frothing Tseng out of the room by the ear…

With a slight nod of approval, Rude left as well…

And the two of them continued their game.

Author's Notes: Yosha! It's up and over with! I… kind of like how I ended it though. It was short and fun either way (at least for me!) so I hope you enjoyed it as well! Comments are much appreciated.