AN: Hi guys I'm slowly getting back and I have been working on this bit buy bit to make it better and I have finally finished it. I am going to repost the corrected and improved chapters. Thanks to all who have stuck with me while I was recovering. I still have a bit to go but we're on an up hill climb now. Please let me know what you think of the corrections. If you spot any mistakes I will gladly fix them. –Tierra

Mia sat in her room with her head in her hands, letting the tears silently fall. Diary tossed aside laying open to her latest entry.

"Dear Diary, How do you repair a broken heart? Well how do you fix my broken heart? I used to dream that when I fell in love, everything would be perfect. But now I know that no matter how much you love someone, no amount of wishing will make them love you back…" tears splattered upon the page while pen and paper discarded on the floor

oOo

Sitting deep in thought, letting the tears freely fall, damn that being one thing her husband had taught her to do. Clarisse settle back into her chair more comfortably. Thinking of the latest situation with Mia. What had gotten into her? She was romping about the palace acting like a hormonal teenager. She was 21 for heaven sake. She had already proved to Clarisse to be ready for this by what she did on her wedding day with the members of Parliament. "I thought she was happy for me… For us" she said aloud. Not aware of her husband entering the room.

"What was that dear?" Joseph came walking in and moved to her side kissing her temple, then settling himself against, looking at his wife with concern.

"Oh nothing." Putting down her pen and wandering over to that all too familiar 'I'm upset and want to think window.' Gazing out over the rose gardens, crossing her arms with a sigh.

"Clarisse… I was you bodyguard for 35 years and now I'm your husband. I know something is wrong! Would you care to tell me so I can be a good husband and help?" He asked getting up from his place on the already over stuffed desk with documents and requests. Oh his beautiful with and their beloved Queen.

Coming up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders and began rubbing the tension out of them. Spending the next several minutes in a tense silence until he felt her begin to relax. She shifted her weight and toeing off her shoes. She was now shorter than he by a good four inches, Leaning against him, she exasperated "Joe she is mad at me... and I'm not sure why but it seems to be about us!"

"Mia…"

"Yes who else!" She pursed out. Putting her hands up in the air stressing her words. He took the moment to pull her closer.

Feeling her tense up again, against him. "Why would she be upset with us dear?"

"We where in her working on the New Spanish trade agreement, when she asked what it was about love and romance that made even the most complicated relationship work, Or how it could absolutely fall apart." She sighed and started up again. "I was not aware, that she was struggling with something when I said what I did… well I told her that here and now was not the time to discuss the issue, I told her that we need to focus on the issue at hand and that it couldn't wait to be dealt with. She got mad at me called me unfeeling and cold. That no matter how much I tried I was still too focused on being a Queen and not a human being. Then stormed out"

"Clarisse dear, I think Mia is having a hard time at the moment. She is dealing with a lot, becoming Queen, running the country with you. Broken heart…" He hinted

"Yes Joseph I know she is but I'm here for her I want her to know that."

"No Clarisse she needs you not the Queen, Mia was about to marry a man she did not love about a month ago and she had already found love."

"What... Joseph I don't understand"

"Well Clarisse while you and she were very busy planning her wedding to Andrew she was falling for another man."

"What you mean... Nicholas?"

"Yes and after he left the cathedral he was not heard from since only but once on Mia's Coronation day and then he was gone again. I knew he was a good young man and probably perfect for her."

"What?" Clarisse turned around looking a little shocked "How did you know that?"

"Clarisse my dear I made it my job and now nearly a month later she is getting into her new position as Queen and she is heart broken. It's killing me so I've been trying to find him, but he seems to be un-locatable. Even for me, her spark seems to just be gone for good. No matter what I do or any of the other staff do to cheer her up." He said softly.

A worried look crossed her face "Oh Joseph am I pushing her too hard again?"

"No Clarisse. But I think you should go talk to her." He hugged her tightly and gave her a reassuring nod.

"Alright that's what I need to do."

Clarisse loosened her self from Joseph's arms and headed for the door but stopped, realizing she did not know where to even begin to look for her

"She is in her room love."

"Thank you Joseph."

oOo

Quickening her pace into and almost run Charlotte entered the Queens office, with a grin that could rival the Grand Canyon it was so big.

"Sir I found him." She beamed

"Charlotte that's great! Where is he?"

"He is staying in a small cabin outside of Mertz." She was bubbling with excitement as she handed him the information.

"Good. I'll go get him now." Joe got up and head for the car garage

oOo

Clarisse had made it to Mia's suite and was now standing out side the door. Ringing her hands, was she actually nervous? No this is Mia, but she… oh… "What am I supposed to say to her?" she exasperated. Taking a deep breath and calming herself, "I can do this no problem."

She knocked on the door softly and waited for an answer to come, after feeling what she thought was being patient and no answer, she walked in to find the room empty. The only other door in the room that was closed was the bathroom door. She walked over to it seeing that it was slightly open she knocked while calling out.

"Mia"

"This is ridiculous it was just and argument she can't be that mad at me." Clarisse pushed open the door after Mia had not answered.

"Oh dear god… Mia!"

Rushing over to the tub where Mia had slipped under the water. Plunging her arms into the icy cold water Clarisse pulled Mia out onto the carpeted floor.

"Mia, Damn't don't do this to me, not you along your father and grandfather. Wake up! Come on…."

Mia was lying limp and unconscious on the floor, slightly panicking, Clarisse tried to think of anything…. Something she had to do something…. "Oh gads" shaking out her hands she remembered what one of the nurses had taught her years ago when the boys where young. She checked for a pulse, against her neck. "Good... good… okay now, breathing…." Placing her ear close to Mia's slightly open mouth she couldn't feel any air coming out nor the rise and fall of her chest. Moving as quickly as possible she arranged herself across Mia's lap and pressed down on her stomach, hoping to force out the water she had swallowed.

After what seemed to be and eternity, but only a matter of seconds, Mia began to cough up the water. Rolling her over Clarisse patted her back to help her bring it all up. After the coughing stopped Mia still was unconscious and not breathing still. "Oh Mia if you die on me I will never forgive you now wake up" Covering her mouth and nose Clarisse breathed into her granddaughter, while silently praying that she would live. A few more breathes and then cold younger woman gasped in air of her own violation.

Mia moaned coughing up more water "Nick?"

"No Mia dear it's me Grandma" Clarisse was sobbing uncontrollably, She and Mia where now soaked. From what Mia had brought up and also what came off of Mia from the tub.

Gathering Mia into her arms and holding her tight, "Mia my dear, Mia what has happened betweens us that would make you consider taking your life?"

"What? What makes you think that?" She responded angrily.

Mia was shivering as Clarisse was only covering a small portion of her naked body.

"Mia you were blue when I pulled you out of the bathtub and you weren't breathing." She exclaimed.

"I was just taking a bath thinking about…I fell asleep!"

Suddenly pulling out of her grandmother's grasp, Mia got up, pulled on her bathrobe and left the bathroom leaving Clarisse puzzled and on the floor still soaping wet.

Whipping away the tears… "Mia." finally mustering the energy to get off the floor and walk into Mia's bedchamber.

"Mia what has happened between us? Why are you mad about Joseph and I? And why did you not tell me you loved Nicholas?"

"Mia please speak to me" sitting down next to Mia, she began to run a hand up and down her back trying to comfort her.

"Grandma I can't you wouldn't understand." She choked out as she began to sob.

"Mia if this is about you being in love with Nicholas… I think he is a fine young man and would openly accept him…" Clarisse said in a comforting tone.

"Please stop…"

"Mia, we need to talk..." She said placing her hands in her lap and taking in a diplomatic posture.

Mia turned and faced her grandmother "NO… He doesn't love me!" and turned back and buried her face into the pillows.

"Oh" she said slightly taken back, her defence coming down, trying to repair the situation was not going to be done my a Queen it was going to need the tender care of a loving grandmother. Sighing Clarisse reached out a hand and placed it on the smaller woman's shoulder…"Mia…I…"

"I can't do this. I can't get up each morning and let my life be run by people who don't care whether I'm heart broken over a man I love so much and cannot have… I can't find a companion to help me and I will grow old and bitter being Queen. I can't give anymore I feel like I have lost so much already. I never knew my father and for fifteen years never knew you now I'm queen and I'm twenty-one for hell's sake! I feel awful inside because secretly I hate you for finding true love and being able to have it! I hate my self for it too." Mia somberly admitted.

"Amelia" Clarisse tried to sound comforting.

"What?" she snapped in return.

" I love you and I'm sorry I pushed you like this. I shouldn't have." Pausing as she cleared her throat and wiped a tear away "I love you so much. I want you to know that there was not a day when I wanted to be with you when you were younger; I wanted to know my granddaughter. To hold you, and spoil you, and it broke my heart and your fathers. But Mia we have each other now. You can relinquish your title if you feel you cannot do this. Mia you don't have to do this… be Queen. I grew up in this and you don't have to. All I want is for you to be happy. Find love."

Clarisse move further onto the bed lying down next to Mia she pulled her into a hug and Mia responded to it by moving closer and the two held in the warm embrace of each other and both cried.