MatchMakerYuffie
Final Fantasy VII
Acrimony Stealthe-Chan
Disclaimer: Acrimony does not own anything that is in this fanfiction (Keyword: fan) except the plotline. Even though it is incredibly cliché; Acrimony hopes to do it justice.
MatchMaker
Yuffie
Chapter Five:
"Yuffie?" Tifa's voice cuts through the sleepy haze of sleep sharply although her tone is that of sheer serenity. I blink and nod dumbly; not really caring how much of an idiot I might appear to be should she be asking my opinion on the stupidest matter. Thankfully; she didn't. I don't know who's messed up idea it was to board the Sierra so damn early, but they won't be alive for very long. As soon as I hunt them down… oh they'll be literally heading down after I kick them off the ship. That is, after I take their Materia at least. Can't forget the Materia!
"Uhm. Yuffie?" Tifa tries again; she's wearing her typical attire again, though I don't see how she could possibly wear such clothing when we're heading to Icicle Town. Doesn't she get it? Icicle. It has something to do with Ice. And Ice means Cold. Freezing cold. Though I suppose I really shouldn't be talking since my outfit has been considered a lot more… skimpy.
But hey; it's not my fault some blinking idiot whose name has something to do with those fluffy fairy floss-like, white things in the sky; decided to wake me up at four o'clock in the frickin' morning! I don't care what that stupid Mako did to his system and whether or not he has bloody insomnia, but that does not mean he has the right to wake me up at such an ungodly hour!
I'm a Princess for Leviathan's sake!
Not that this has anything to do with my choice of clothing at all. No siree.
The morning had gone by fairly quickly and uninteresting. Although I was interested to note that Tifa had spent a suspiciously long amount of time in the Vampyre's room in order to uh… how should I put it…? 'Awaken' him? Chyeh right. It must have been a very… interesting awakening for the Vampyre.
Anyway, got woken up rudely by Spike and then had a breakfast of Pancakes and maple syrup. I am very proud to say that my love of maple syrup has not diminished in the least. But I suppose I was only beaten in the Maple Syrup 'challenge' by Marlene whom I must say poured an absolutely disgusting amount of Maple Syrup on her pancakes. The poor pancakes literally drowned in the thick liquid. Oh well. I should probably stop musing about the pancakes and pay more attention to Ms. Boobs before she chucks a mental spazz at me.
"What?" I snap irritably as Tifa continues to pointlessly ask if I'm awake or not. Doesn't she understand what a nod means? I'm sleepy anyway! It's not my fault her Spike is a schizophrenic sociopath! Although, I suppose you could use that title for Vinnie too…
"…Never mind, but if you're interested I was going to tell you that we're about to go" Ms. Boobs replies equally as irritably as she stands with a slight frown and heads off towards the door of the place. The Place. What a fitting name for… this 'humble' abode. I don't think I've mentioned where we're currently situated now have I? Well; we're residing at Vincent's mansion. Yes. I said mansion. How the hell does a bloody vampyre earn that much money anyway? Even if he was a Turk; you don't see Reno or Elena flaunting a whole heap of money. But yes, Vincent's mansion.
Unfortunately, today is the day that we're supposed to leave this warm, cosy, hauntingly spacious and somewhat gloomy mansion; and head to Icicle Town. And the worst part is, we're going to fly there.
You'd think people would understand by now that people like me just don't cope very well with flying. Or staying in lop-sided elevators for one.
Damnit; Spike just glared at me. Screw him.
"Oi! Brat, if you're gonna hurl get a fuckin' bucket or somethin'!"
Insert Cid Highwind's highly… colourful vocabulary. I honestly wonder how his and Shera's kids are gonna turn out. What with his disgusting addiction to those stupid Cancer Sticks and his vocabulary… I honestly feel sorry for the poor toddlers. And that's saying something.
Cid fixes his blue eyes on me in a glowering stare. I would laugh at him (because the situation really would be funny) if it weren't me whose fault it is. Is it my fault none of these incompetent delinquents have an insufficient memory that should tell them about my horribly low tolerance of staying put in moving vehicles which unfortunately also happen to be in the sky?
I didn't think so.
I'd snap back at him for being annoying and irritating my ego (Though I really have no idea why me hurling has anything to do with my ego); but I'm currently walking around the main deck of the Sierra. And feeling very queasy.
The only answer he receives is a glare (at least what I would call a glare) and a mess of incoherent moans from me. Cid automatically raises an eyebrow at me and I can't help but continue to glare at him; but this only elicits a loud guffaw from him.
Well what did you expect? A Materia Hunter who's about to barf up her disgustingly maple-syrupy breakfast and at the same time attempting to glare at you is bound to look somewhat hilarious.
Although; since I am said Materia Hunter, you'll have to excuse me for not laughing.
I suppose you're wondering why such a fantastic and perfect princess such as I, am on the verge of throwing up? Well the truth is; I get motion-sickness. And unfortunately, the simple term 'motion' has grown to include a drastic fear of heights. However idiotic this might sound, I am currently on a flying craft. That is currently moving. In the sky. Now do you see why my face has suddenly gone paler?
"Yuffie, if you aren't feeling well you could always go rest in one of the cabins," Elena says gently as she places a hand on my shoulder; bringing an abrupt end to my dizzying walk. I open my mouth to tell her exactly what I think about going to rest in a cabin when all of a sudden I feel the impulse to cover my mouth with my hands. The disgusting taste of bile clawing at the base of my throat as I moan slightly; and teeter towards the garbage bin.
"Ngn!" I groan as Cid automatically hands out a bucket; allowing me to take the liberty of emptying my breakfast into the plastic bag that fit so snugly in the basket. Cid frowns in a disgusted manner at me as I stumble backwards; Looking at your own spew is inadvisable after all.
Not that I've tried.
"Too late" Reno mutters disgustedly as he looks away and then stands near the railing of the Sierra; azure-turquoise eyes staring point blank at the swirls of nothingness that one could see from the observation deck of the air craft. How any sane individual could stand there and not get bored by the endless clouds is beyond me. But I suppose that's why you need to underline the word 'sane'.
It's not really about whether I'm feeling well or not; since sometimes my 'sickness' crawls up at the most unprecedented times and well, let's just say that the results aren't very pretty, but still… I sigh and I nod at Elena, allowing myself to be gently towed away to my cabin room. The only good thing I can see about this stupid flight is that Tifa and Vincent are sharing a cabin… room… thing… err… yeah. So, that means as soon as I feel better I need to figure out how to barricade their door.
I sit down on the bed that Cid had conveniently put in almost every single cabin's room and wait patiently for the throbbing headache and queasiness to subside; Elena looking at me rather sympathetically as she asks me if I want her to stay. I look back up at her from my bed and kindly read: rather bluntly tell her that she 'doesn't have to'. In other words I don't exactly need her with me at the moment. Because, knowing her; Elena will want me to stay in my cabin for the rest of the 'trip'. But that doesn't work because I have things to do, people to see and places to be; including a certain barricade…
So you see, I'll be employing my awesome stealthy skills and sneak out of this cabin as soon as she turns her back on me. So hurry up and go already! The Blonde exhales some pent-up breath that she's been unaware of holding and looks at me suspiciously. Damn Turks and their stupid suspicious training! I can't help but curse in my mind. Hurry up and go, I want to go spy on Vin- I mean, I want to go Barricade Tifa's doooooor
She looks at me in the same fashion that I would look at some creepy little ninja who was trying in vain to convince me that they weren't stealing my Materia. But I'm not as untrustworthy as that now am I? Right? I mean, I'm not the kind of person who would do something that lovely-itty-bitty Elena wouldn't like now am I?
… Shut Up
She nibbles at her lip for a moment and looks at me worryingly –DAMNIT WOMAN JUST GO ALREADY- and then finally agrees, backing towards the door and grabbing the handle to pull it shut, "Take care of yourself Yuffie, don't get too sick"
I continue to sit on the bed for a moment, ignoring the suggestive quip that I didn't know how to look after myself –As if, I'm the Great Ninja Materia Hunter Yuffie! Remember?- and use my ears to catch any form of movement from near my cabin room. It wouldn't do for me to sneak out of my room only to discover that Elena had pulled a trick on my ninja-senses and just walked in a circle through the corridors and back to stand 'guard' outside the room.
I count to myself in my head, waiting until approximately two minutes had passed before slowly standing up on my legs. The joints hurt in that paining way that makes you feel as though you'd been walking for three days flat out and only just then decided you wanted to sleep, but I brush it away. As soon as I stand the pounding headache comes back along with the unsettling feeling of bile clawing at me, but neither effects are half as strong as they were earlier on the main deck.
Waiting for another two minutes as I block out the headache and concentrate on getting my balance, I then edge covertly towards the door, making sure not to step on any of the squeaky floor boards; or make any sounds that might alert whoever it was that might be out in the Cabin Hall to my movements.
Placing a hand on the doorknob, I twist it slowly; praying that it was oiled well and wouldn't make any shrill noises as I turned it completely to the side, thus retracting the little triangle metal-y thing that kept doors closed, tugging lightly as the door swung easily inwards and grabbing the doorknob on the other side; making sure not to release on the inside doorknob.
As soon as I stepped outside the cabin I pulled the door shut behind me, releasing the doorknob and hearing a satisfactory 'click' telling me that it closed properly. As far as I'm concerned, as long as no-one checks on me I should be fine. And then I slip into the corridor.
Now, if my memory serves me right Vinnie's room should be right around…
I look around with my ears alert for any sounds or any odd sights; it won't do to be caught when I've just left my cabin room. I have no doubt that Elena told everyone that I should be staying in my room for the rest of the flight. That just shows to prove that these people are still unaware of my painfully obvious ninja skills.
Here.
Sliding against the walls and turning to the right until I passed another two cabin doors, pressing my ear against the door or one cabin in particular. Inside, I can hear two voices, one; deep and sombre with the other feminine and elegant. Bingo. Those two are like sitting ducks.
I'd intrude on their little party but I've got a plan to carry out.
Straightening up, I examine the door; occasionally glancing around the corridor in case Elena or someone comes and notices that I'm not in my Cabin when I should be 'resting'. My gaze lands on a pair of random cabinets sitting in the middle of the corridor. Jeeze, since when were the fates so kind to me? I can't help but wonder as I continue to stare at the door in the same manner as a psychopa- well no, in the same manner Sephiroth would be staring with at say, Aerith. Or the Holy Materia. Or Cloud.
…
Whatever.
Have I ever mentioned Cid's fixation with locks? No? Well I'm going to mention it now.
You see, along with an unhealthy addiction to everything unholy from those bloody cancer sticks to messing around with greasy machines; Cid loves locks.
He's a mechanic as we all know, but god damn it does he love locks. It probably has something to do with the whole 'illegally breaking into something' thing though. But whatever. The point is Cid is so obsessed with locks that he's made it a habit to put two locks on every door on the bloody Sierra!
And not as in one lock on top of the other for say 'double security', but one lock on each side of the door! He claims that he did so in case some idiot goes around locking them from the inside and creeping out of the strategically placed windows. Not that I can think of anyone who would do such a thing. Of course not. I mean; that's just so incredibly… I'll shut up now.
The thing is; there's also one advantage about the locks that I have discovered. The lock on the outside of the door almost always overrides the one on the inside of the door. No! Not inside the door inside. I mean like, well, when I say 'inside of the door' I mean the side of the door that faces the inside of the room not the inside of the door because I don't know how Cid would fit a lock in all of that solid wood let alone use it.
So that basically means that even if they manage to pick the lock on the inside of the cabin room; Tifa and Vincent still have to break the lock on the outside of the door.
And there aren't any keys.
Because Cid doesn't believe in keys.
Because he's cool like that.
Anyway, all in all; that means after I lock the Locks and pile the two cabinets outside the door which thankfully opens outwards, well let's just say that Vinnie and Ms Boobs won't be going anywhere for a long time. And that's time enough for me to win this… bet? Is that what it's called? Nah. It's probably more of a 'mission'.
A MatchMaking Mission.
For the Great Ninja Yuffie!
Grinning impishly to myself I pull out my trusty set of lock picks from my back pocket –No I did not get them from Cid- unrolling the encasing cloth and twiddling my fingers above certain ones every now and then.
Well, I have to give it to ya, Old man; these are definitely some fine lock picks, I think to myself with a quick grin before my face morphs into an expression of concentration; my hands still hovering over the lock picks; or rather a certain pair of lock picks. They were silver and almost blindingly shiny; sharp and perfect for picking locks. Or setting them.
You see, Professional Ninjas like me don't actually like to take chances unless they're allowed to. And with Three Mastered Knight of Round Materia hanging in the balance, I'm in absolutely no position to take chances. So I'm going to lock the inside lock. Then the outside lock. Then drag the cabinets over and barricade the door.
Because I'm just cool like that.
Finally I manage to pick the slimmer of the two lock picks and ease it into the keyhole- Just because he doesn't believe in keys doesn't mean he doesn't believe in keyholesAnd no. Do not take that in a less than clean way. Because that just means you have a very perverted mind. So stop thinking. Now.
Several minutes of silent prodding around the machine-like lock and a soft; hardly audible 'Click' was heard. Signifying the lock on the inside of the door had officially been locked.
Score!
Grinning predatorily, I feel a flicker of fear when I hear the mumbling from inside the room come to a sudden halt; and I blink, praying to the Great Leviathan that Vincent didn't really have that acute and supersonic hearing that all Vampyre's are meant to have. Because if he did my life would be over.
Seconds later the talking starts up again and I can't help but mull things over in my mind. So obviously Vinnie hadn't heard me, right? So I wonder what made him stop… unless…
Ohmygod They kissed
Stomping down on the urge to squeal like a rabid fangirl at the fact that my plan had worked, I decide to get to work on the much more complex lock on the outside of their door. Glaring angrily at it after a good three minutes of pointless fumbling and jabbing and twisting and- and just trying to lock the damn thing; I finally hear a very satisfactory 'click'.
Yes! I think triumphantly and do a little, silent jig on the spot as I pick up 'my' lock picks and slip them back into my pocket; practically prancing towards one of the cabinets, quickly going through its contents-
Cough.
What?
-and finding absolutely nothing of moderate interest. Sighing angrily, I glare at the wooden box before digging my fingers underneath the ridge of its roof and tugging upwards.
After several moments of strenuous tugging, the side I'm holding onto tilts upward as a pair of legs come off of the floor. Grinning in triumph, I endeavour to drag the cabinet towards the door, pushing it as quietly as I can against the wooden piece and quickly doing the exact same thing to the other cabinet.
There! I think victoriously and chuckle evilly to myself (quietly of course) and then I disappear…
Never to be seen… ever again.
…
Just Kidding.
((Slightly earlier, in Tifa's Point of View))
"He's still hung up on her, isn't he?" I mutter slowly and focus my chocolate-y brown eyes onto the wooden walls of the cabin. After Yuffie's spectacular exit from the Main Deck, I had stayed up there for a while longer; talking occasionally to Elena and attempting to talk to Cloud. Cloud…
"It would be insulting to her memory if he did not" The usually quiet figure sitting opposite me answered in that usual nonchalant tone of his. I suppose if he were anyone but Vincent Valentine I would argue and say 'But she's gone'; unfortunately, that argument wouldn't work on Vincent Valentine, he knows only too well about those kind of matters.
"Does he miss her that much?" I continue in that same lethargic manner. It was no big secret about my not-so-platonic feelings towards one certain Cloud Strife. But even though I feel that way towards him there is one thing that I have learnt to accept. No matter what happens, he will never feel that way about me. And so maybe I just want to keep being best friends with him. He is, after all the closest thing to family that I know of.
"Do you want him to forget her? She sacrificed herself for the Planet. He never…" He trails off and places his crimson gaze on me. There used to be a time where I would shudder if he so much glanced my way. But now I merely ignore the piercing force his eyes have and instead I mull his question over in my mind. I wait for him to continue, but he does not.
"Is it the same for you? Do you miss her too? And I don't mean Aeris… the other one. You miss her even more then you let on, don't you?"
"I-" He blinks and tenses coldly, "I-"
Suddenly we hear a creak of floor boards and a soft 'click'. Pausing, he looks around the room as though suspecting a spy or something in our midst. Not that anyone would actually try to put a spy in mine and Vincent Valentine's cabin room. After all, only suicidal people would try it. And unfortunately we only know of one person stupid enough to try.
"Yuffie" I sigh after a moment of silence and shake my head. No doubt she's trying to sneak along the corridors and go through someone's Materia Collection or something, "That girl never changes…"
"Hm…" Is his only answer.
Yes. Vincent Valentine is not exactly what anyone would call a very communicative person, if anything he's more of a listener.
"What do you think of the Turks?" I then venture to ask. That question has been bugging me for a while. And I want Vincent's answer. Because he's one of the most intelligent of us all. I especially wanted his views on a certain Turk.
"They're alright. Although I do not exactly feel much hatred towards any of these particular Turks, they have yet to do anything worth that. But I do not trust any of them either."
"What about… Reeve?"
"Reeve is trustworthy. Certainly he has proved his worth before METEOR and even now he works on healing the Planet… Why do you ask? You have a particular interest in him?"
I blink slowly at him and shake my head. "No, of course not"
We fall back into a comfortable silence; the occasional squeaks of floor boards reminding us of the existence of others.
Thud.
"Oof."
"Yo, Tifa! What're these Cabinets doin' at'cha door?" Reno's voice hollers at us much later. I blink and look at Vincent, he too seems to be slightly puzzled as I stand and head towards the door.
"Reno? What do you mean? What cabinets?" I ask him back, no. Seriously. What Cabinets?
"Damnit that hurt…" He mutters barely audible, before speaking up again, "These two wooden things piled onto each other blocking your door. You and Vinnie in there aren't trying anything are ya?"
"WHAT?" I yelp indignantly at such a stupid suggestion. I don't even know what the hell he's talking about! Vincent stands up and comes towards me, cloak swishing gently as he walks.
"Reno. Explain." Is all he says. But enough purpose is in his voice to tell Reno not to mess around.
"Ah, well. Why don't you try to come out and see for yourself?"
"What do you mean 'try'" I yell, annoyed.
"Just… try already!"
I sigh in annoyance and place my hand on the door, pushing gently only to find out that the door was…
Locked.
What. The. Hell.
"It's locked" I hiss, frustrated.
"Really!?" He sounds interested, "Do you want me to use my Knight Stick to get it to open?"
"No! Don't. It'll just melt the lock." Vincent interjects swiftly and pulls out the Death Penalty. I blink. Woah, telling a Turk not to be brutal about these kind of things really is hard. He quickly fires off three bullets, each blasting holes in the door and two smashing at the lock contraption. Damn Cid and his stupid fixation.
"Uhm. Well. That works too?" Reno says meekly as we push at the door. But it still won't budge.
"Reno, move the cabinets" Vincent commands softly.
"What, so you believe me now?" He cackles gleefully and dances around. I can see him moving through the holes; he's such a weirdo.
"Yes. Now just move the damn cabinets!" I answer.
Moments later, and cabinet free; I push at the door and it opens as easily as it did when it was brand new. Stupid Cabinets. Vincent follows me out of the cabin room quietly, frowning at the holes in the door but ignoring them. I can hear him mumble something about apologising to Cid about the door and I can't help but giggle slightly.
"So, who put them there?" Reno asks. Yeah Reno. That's smart of you. How the hell would we know if we didn't even know if they were there in the first place?
"I don't know' I snap, irritably and we leave the whole situation just there.
((Yuffie's Point of View))
Now let's just get this straight. Karma is a bitch. Karma, is a bitch that insists on nagging you about one little thing that you've done. Many people are of the opinion that Karma 'rewards' people who do good things with even better things. But my experiences with Karma are quite the opposite. Karma, for me seems to have a habit of bringing hell on me whether what I've done is for my own purposes or someone else's purposes. Albeit that is a very rare occasion for me.
As you can imagine, Karma and I are close. Best friend material in fact if it weren't for Karma's conniving, scheming and evil tendencies to lash out and wreak havoc on me, if you will. Or rather, Karma is a lap dog that unceasingly stalks me; much to my dismay.
In all of my experience with Karma, I have learnt one thing –and I think Alicia Keys said it the best- when dealing with karma, 'What goes around comes around. What goes up must come down'.
Now normally, in my case Karma works like this. A few days after I… acquire something, usually an object of some value or power, I end up miraculously misplacing said object. Unless I take a few steps before Karma and stuff it in a safe and not lose the key. For example the other day I… found a Mastered Haste Materia. Now I don't really like Haste Materia, but since it was Mastered, I figure it would be useful for trading or selling. But of course, a mere hour or two after pocketing the Materia, it disappears! So you can totally understand my distaste towards Karma. Because Karma is a bitch. Understand?
But I digress.
You see, after my successful and ever so intelligent ploy of locking Vinnie and Ms. Boobs in a cabin room together, I took the liberty to spend a good deal of an hour in my cabin room, drinking cola, laughing at their misfortune, hunting for my materia –and not finding it, but whatever- and counting my copious amounts of Materia in my possession I have a grand total of eighty-seven (and would have been eighty-eight), in case you were wondering when I was, uh, struck by the sudden urge to, uh, relieve myself. For want of a better word.
So as you can imagine I took my own sweet time in walking towards the only bathroom thinger on this Cabin Floor only to find it shut. Now, remember what I said earlier about Cid's fixation with double sided locks? Good. Make sure you keep that in mind because that's important. So, I see the door is closed and automatically assume that it's looked. I mean, of course it's locked. Someone must be in it! See, I'm smart. SMART. I can spell that too! S-M-A-T!
So, I waited for a good two minutes or so; just patiently waiting for whoever it was that was in there to hurry up and come out already when all of a sudden I caught sight of our favourite red-gone-green haired Turk!
He grinned in that infuriatingly idiotic manner that he's practically famous for before he sauntered towards me, "'Sup, Yuffers?" He drawled thickly as he approached me, tapping his knight-stick casually against his shoulders as he leans against the wall and stares in a bored manner at me.
"Psh, nothing that matters" I reply impishly and couldn't resist smiling at him. Remember? I had just locked the Vampyre and Teef in a cabin together. I had a right to be happy! They'll probably be confessing and making out with each other right now! I had thought, all thanks to yours truly. And I suppose you could say that now I am the proud owner of ninety Materia and that includes three shiny new, mastered knights of round Materia! So. Ha. You lose Reeve! So of course I was smiling.
"Mmmhm," He answers and rolled his eyes at my apparent stupidity –And believe me, I took offence to that-.
"Okay fine, I have successfully managed to lock Vinnie and Tifa in a cabin room together. Isn't that awesome!?" I exclaimed gleefully, grinning at the Turk childishly as I danced up and down on the balls of my feet. Yes. I really needed to go to the loo.
"Oh," His face contorted in a funny manner, he looked as though he was about to laugh at me when all of a sudden his eyes got an evil glint in them. Those aqua-marine eyes really look evil, ya'know. Then his face had gone blank, as though he knew something that he was going to tell me but had decided against it. I arched a brow in a questioning manner but then waved it away because anything he knew was bound to be insignificant.
And that there was my biggest mistake in the past half an hour of my life.
"Hey, uh, Yuffie. Why are you standing outside the bathroom?" He suddenly asked me. Shocking me out of my suspicious stupor as I blinked at him slowly. What. The. Hell?
"I'm waiting to go to the bathroom, duh"
"Yeah, but; there's no-one in there" He answered still in that mockingly bored tone. I blinked again.
"What? But someone's in there!" I protested, "I mean; the doors closed isn't it?"
"Just because the doors closed, doesn't mean there's anyone in it" Reno said calmly and stood up straighter, stepping slightly towards me until I stood a few inches in front of the bathroom door. And to my surprise, there was in fact no sounds in the bathroom.
"I mean, doesn't Cid have a certain habit of closing doors?" He continued in a musing manner, seemingly oblivious to my discomfort as he peered around the corridor. And it was then that I knew my life was over. My life was oh so very much over and I couldn't do a damn thing to stop whatever it was going to be from happening.
"Yeah, so?"
"I'm going to do you a favour, Yuffs." He then said and put a hand on the doorknob, and a split second later a rough hand flung the door open; pushed me inside, closed the door and condemned me to hell.
Click.
Now, remember Cid's fixation with locks? Yeah. Well I can only vaguely remember Cid explaining something to us AVALANCHE members and Turks. There was a problem with the bathroom. Cid loves having locks on both sides of each door. Unfortunately, the Cabin Floor Bathroom Door –It Rhymes! - was lacking a Lock. And to make matters worse; the lock that was missing, was the lock for the inside of the bathroom.
And that 'click'?
That was from the lock on the outside of the bathroom locking. Which meant I was trapped. In a bathroom. As if things couldn't get any worse; I was about to find out that they actually could.
"RENO YOU BASTARD LET ME OUT!" I screeched furiously, beating my palms against the door. The only reply I get is the Turk's laughter and the sound of him switching on his Knight Stick. Okay, now let's get the definition of Knight Stick in place. Reno's Knight-Stick is like a club. A metal club that is kind of a club, but not a club. Well. It's kind of also like a stick. It's only interesting feature is that it can channel electricity. And no, I don't actually know how it works. It's kind of got a Taser effect.
"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM!?" I continued, bloody murder flashing in my eyes as I kicked the door. Great. What a brilliant time for me to leave 'my' Lock Picks behind! I could still hear his laughter, loud, clear and raucous. Asshole. But suddenly it stopped.
Instead, it was replaced with cursing.
"Reno!?" I asked nervously and pray that he didn't do anything else.
"Oh Shit! WhatamIgonnado!? Imeltedthelock! Cid's gonna kill me!"
"You… WHAT!? YOU MELTED THE LOCK!? YOU BASTARD! HOW THE HELL DID YOU MELT IT!?"
But that wasn't the worst of it all.
"…Yuffie?" A quiet, curious, surprised, and stressed voice said. Slowly, ever so slowly, I turned away; praying to the Great Leviathan that it was anyone other than that person. I would give five of my Materia away –low levelled, mind you- if only it wasn't him. Unfortunately; fate wasn't on my side. And as my stormy eyes laid to rest of a shirtless Vincent Valentine, my mouth opened and emitted a very loud, very high-pitched, shriek of abject mortification.
And that brings me to where I am now.
"Oh. My. God" Is the only thing I can say as his crimson eyes bore mercilessly into me. Please, kill me now.
A/N: Under the newest revival of fandom, Acrimony is now going through and editing the story. She apologises for any inconveniences. The editing will not severely change much of the story line, but the writing will be brought 'up-to-par' with Acrimony's current writing prowess. Also, Acrimony will be removing all unnecessary review replies; but she does thank all reviewers for the lovely feedback that has kept this story's heart beating strong.
--Acrimony, 10th of August, 2007