-Foreword-

Rudolph sat in a squashy armchair by a crackling fire. Eager Fanfiction authors huddled around him, clutching meager blankets of reviews next to their skin for warmth. The smallest, an adorable thirteen-year-old, piped up.

"Master Rudolph, tell us the tale of how to write a non-nauseating story! Our reviews are all flames from a crazy pair of authors, the Cliché Busters!" she said, shivering.

"It is a long, tiring tale, dearest. I will begin, however, in the hope that you may learn." Rudolph sighed, taking a long glance at the tapestries on the walls, some depicting American exchange students being killed by what looked like a review box.

"Listen, my children, and you will hear the secrets…"

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