Author's Note: Hallo! (waves like a maniac) This was originally a contest submission for the SDM forums (look in meh profile for the linky-poo). And guess what my fuel was for this story? Hmm? Chocolate!...Yesh, chocolate was used, in great amounts, during the making of this fic. Maybe that's why the final product turned out so weird. Keh heh. Too bad I didn't get a whole box, though.(sigh)
Oooh! (beware, still eating choco) Can I ask you guys something completely random? Have you ever gotten shocked by a tofu? As in literally? I just wanted to know if I wasn't the only one that tried to grab a tofu, and then got bzzt! in return. (I don't think tofus like me...)
Oops, almost forgot. In this fic, the classroom has multiple grades. (I used to be in a classroom like that.) So don't go 'What the heck!' when you read that Selphie, Kairi, and Riku are all in the same class.
Disclaimer: 'Sako wishes she owned a box of chocolate. Sadly she doesn't...But she does own Kingdom Hearts! (gets kicked in the butt by an invisible S-E representative) Ow--okay okay! (sob) She doesn't own that either.
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A Box of Chocolate
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February fourteenth on Destiny Islands. Yes, the deadliest day of the year. It was the time of year when girls were stalked by random infatuated nerds who had crushes on them for centuries, and when guys ran for their lives from mobs of freaky fangirls. Yes, it was a dangerous time, but not as much so for the elementary kids.
Elementary school was the place to be for Valentine's Day. Parents just loved being the ones to finance the V-day card companies, so their little kiddies could charge up to school and hand them out, just to be thrown away a week later. After February fourteenth, the heart-covered cards were useless. But on Valentine's Day...Ho ho! They were gold. Receiving the most proved that you were the most-liked in class. This year, Sora was in the third grade. This year, he wanted to beat Riku. This year, he would get the most cards in the class!
That was his second goal. His first was top secret. For once in his life, he had actually kept it to himself. Well, that's a lie. He told his mom. And he regrets doing that to this day.
"Aw, Soooora! My little baby is growing up! Your first crush!"
"Mom---quit---squishing---me!" Somehow, Sora squirmed out of his mother's suffocating headlock. She continued to blush and call Sora her "cute little macho muffin." And she kept calling him that. All the way to school. She didn't reveal his top-secret mission, but she did get Riku and the boys to start calling him a macho muffin. Luckily, it was barely February first. He still had time to plan out his mission and to figure out ways to erase his new label.
Now, Riku, on the other hand, wasn't too keen on doing blatant, dorky, Sora-ish missions to prove his love for someone. No, a nine-year-old was much too mature for that. He'd rather secretly plant a bouquet of flowers -- purchased out of his own pocket, of course -- in her cubby hole, along with a note saying "You're cool. Happy V-Day."
Riku wanted this to be confidential too. But, alas, on February thirteenth, his dad was bowled over by a strong scent wafting from Riku's backpack.
"What the heck is that smell? Did you go and save a half-dead skunk from being run over by a shopping cart?" His dad plugged his nose and fell onto the couch. In his hand he held a suspicious-looking water bottle filled with a brownish, swirly liquid inside.
"Dad. They're roses."
"If that smell is comin' from roses, then my name isn't Bill."
"Dad. Your name isn't Bill. Are you drunk?"
"I swear to drunk I'm not God."
Riku was tortured with this at least once a week. Fortunately, when his dad was drunk, he was not insane and abusive, but rather stupid and clueless. According to the doctor, his senses got warped up. However, he looked and almost sounded sober, as opposed to his un-drunken state, which didn't make any sense to the family. But that's another topic entirely.
"Mooom! Dad's being intoxicated all over the living room couch!"
"Well, push him off, honey!"
"What are the roses for?"
"No one!"
"Your girlfriend?" The man started to grin evilly. That look meant his dad's brain was still working. It had to mean that. Maybe he really wasn't stupid like he thought.
"N-no!"
"I finally have something to use as blackmail against my son. Do your secret if you want me to keep it a homework."
"What?" Scratch that. He was a complete idiot.
"Honey, go get drunk in the neighbor's doghouse! You're not setting a good example for our son!"
So, his drunkard of a father found out. Riku was forced to do his homework that night. His father wouldn't even let him go to the bathroom until he was finished. At least he didn't gush that Riku was a macho muffin to all of his friends.
There is someone we are forgetting. Who could it possibly be? Is it Tidus, who has that humongous crush on that jump rope girl? No, no...Of course you know who the person is. The currently oblivious redhead, the girl that socked any lame weeners that dared to give her a smooch, the apple of our hero's eye.
Kairi was unaware of all this fuss over her. Now why would she notice something like a crush, especially if it was directed at her? The only crushes she could see were the ones between Selphie and Tidus. Besides, boys had cooties. Instead of planning out some doomed-to-fail mission, she was busy mulling over what type of cards to give everybody. Ones with cats? Ones with dogs? Or should she stick with gooey pink and red Be My Valentine lollipops? Third-graders had to make such difficult choices sometimes.
Then, the big day. The fourteenth of the second month. Valentine's Day. Sora's mother insisted on walking him to school again. She wanted to see her macho muffin walk gracefully through those doors in his miniature dark blue suit, complete with his heart-shaped box of chocolates for his love. She could just imagine him walking proudly to the lucky girl, placing the box in front of her on her desk, then saying romantically, "You were the one I was destined for." Sigh. She was still glittering with that fantasy when she quietly waved bye-bye to her little prince.
Whoops. Did I say little prince? And quietly? Typo, typo. I actually meant: "SEE YOU TONIGHT, MY CUTE LITTLE MACHO MUFFIN! DON'T FORGET THAT LINE I TOLD YOU! AND TELL ME HOW IT ALL WENT WHEN YOU GET HOME. AW, WHY ARE YOU CRYING? HEY, DON'T LAUGH AT MY SON, TIDUS! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!" Poor, poor Sora. If only he hadn't told his mom about his top-secret plan.
After a whole kaboodle of horrid teasing from Wakka and Tidus(Riku wasn't there yet, thank goodness), Sora dropped his pack onto his desk and slumped into his seat.
Outside was not safe. Outside was evil. Sora was pretty sure that Tidus had announced to the whole schoolyard that little scene with his mom. He couldn't risk any more humiliation on such a crucial day. But that didn't stop him from being annoyed with the teacher. She didn't even notice he was in the room until the bell rang and a flock of kids came streaming in. Heck, she didn't even notice him then! Oh well. It doesn't really matter if he's invisible to the prettiest teacher in school. What mattered was her.
Sora propped his elbow on the desk and let his droopy eyes wander back to the door. And then she walked in. With him.
"Darn you, Riku," Sora muttered under his breath. "Darn you, darn you, darn you!" Riku was unintentionally messing up his plan! Wait...What if he was intentionally doing this? What if his mom told Riku's mom, who told Riku's dad, who accidentally told Riku in his drunken stupor all about his top-secret plan? Gasp. That must be it. That must be how he knows.
That was how things looked like on Sora's side of the universe. But on the sane side, things looked quite different. For instance, even if Riku had found out about Sora's dinky plan, he would boot it out of his mind before the virus contained in its sheer stupidness plagued his intelligence. Well, after he used it to jab at Sora's pride for a bit, that is.
Kairi said hi to him. Riku said hi back. End of story.
Sora watched this interchange with contempt and jealousy. The nerve! Seeing Riku trying to woo Kairi into accepting his affection made his blood boil.
It's probably safe to assume that Sora had inherited his mother's imagination.
The clock ticked by. Class was so excruciatingly slow. The teacher yapped on and on about St. Valentine and multiplication and blah blah blah. Tick...She wouldn't even let them speak of the Valentine party until lunch. "I want you guys to finish up your work for the day first," was what she said. Whatever...Tick...Sheesh, that minute hand sure was slow...Tick...It looked like it was going backwards...Tick...Waitaminnit!
"Miss! Your clock is broken!" he yelled, shooting out of his chair and accidentally knocking Selphie's yellow pencil case off her desk.
"Quiet down and finish your vocabulary." The teacher made sure to raise her tutoring manual---which, by the way, was a romance novel with another covering---even closer to her nose. (It was Heartthrob, by Shigure Sohma, whoever the heck that was.)
"But I know these already!"
"Really? Then read to me number two."
Sora brought the paper up to his face. The side margin was fill with messy scribbles of stick men with swords. Maybe he should erase that later...Gulping under the weight of his teacher's amused stare, he read aloud: "Um...Deht-er-mine-ed: the past tense of the act of--"
"Determined, Sora. DETERMINED. Sit down and practice your pronunciation. QUIETLY."
Finally, after what felt like a bajillion years, it was time for lunch. Well, actually, it was thirty minutes past lunch. ("Oh my," the teacher had said. "I guess it really is broken. Any volunteers to fetch a spare from that hot--I mean handsome counselor across the hall?")
It was time for the party to begin. The room was filled with an elevating clamor of squeaks and giggles, along with a faint scent of roses. Sora vaguely wondered where that smell was coming from. But right now, he needed to focus! He needed to execute his mission perfectly. So, he ran over every little detail in his mind, while at the same time keeping a close eye on Riku. Today, they were enemies. Sora was not about to let Riku pull any tricks on this day. No, certainly not today.
"All right," the teacher announced, clapping her hands after that painful stretch to hang up the new clock on the wall. "Let's bring everything to the picnic tables outside. Wakka, take care of the pizzas, please. Be quiet, Tidus. Nobody wants to hear your disturbing laugh. Oh, and everyone! Don't forget to put your Valentine boxes on your desks before you leave the room."
Outside, the cool breeze and the warm sunshine lifted Sora's confidence. The weather had shifted to a turn of perfection. That meant that his rotten luck would change too...right?
Now, time to put his plan into action. The girls were helping set up the food, and the boys were using a poor palm tree as a pebble-target. Good. Nobody would notice him sneaking into the classroom. He stealthily made his way back through the outside double doors, tiptoeing down the hallway while mentally singing "Secret Agent Man."
If only he hadn't let his guard down when he reached the classroom. If only he hadn't written that would-be mushy love note in big fat letters on the box of chocolate. If only he had seen Riku standing by Kairi's cubbyhole, gawking at him as if her were a deranged lunatic. If only he hadn't damaged his brain cells by singing that song in his head---off tune!
"What the heck, Sora?" Our little chestnut-haired hero nearly jumped out of his iron-pressed pants. Holy freakin' pickles! (His bank of curse words was pretty small back then.) What in the world was Riku doing here! Wasn't he supposed to be outside, killing a tree?
"'To Kairi, I like you a lot. Let's share a paopu fruit when we get older, okay?' What the...What kind of love letter is that!"
Sora's hands leapt over his sloppy handwriting. All his hopes of his luck changing had been dashed away. The main reason was that evil-looking smirk spreading slowly across Riku's face.
"You know, I still have to pay you back for that last time."
Sora gulped. "S-sorry. Don't know what you mean." Of course he knew what he meant. Last time...Yup. Remembered it like was yesterday. (Actually, it was yesterday.) Planted a crab in the teacher's desk, then successfully framed it on Riku. Ha! And all the adults fell for it!
Too bad. It was Sora's grave misfortune to chuckle aloud at that precise moment.
Riku had already bolted out of the room by the time he opened his eyes. Oh. No. Sora stood gaping for a total of two seconds before rushing out after him, crashing into a few desks along the way.
Perfect. Just fabulous! Great, great, great, great, great! Forget the plan, he needed to save himself from utter embarrassment!
He ran and ran until, finally, he shoved the double doors open and stumbled onto the concrete pavement outside. Riku was standing by Tidus and the rest of the boys. Sheesh, he runs fast! he thought, but then pushed to the back of his mind.
Sora sprinted up to them, already sweaty and gasping. He didn't think of hiding the box of chocolates scrunched tightly under his arm.
"Riku!" the boy shouted, his eyebrows at a sharp slant and his mouth twisted into a juvenile frown. "Don't you even think of--"
"Think of what?" his silver-haired friend responded coolly.
"Hey, Sora. What's that you have there?" Tidus cocked his head to get a good look at the box unknowingly held in Sora's arm. "To Kairi, I like you a...Whoa." The group of boys slapped their hands over their mouths, but there was no way they could muffle their laughter.
Riku was chuckling and shaking his head. "I wasn't going to tell anyone, but I might as well get my revenge now, huh?"
At first, Sora was astonished to see a big red heart tucked under his arm. What was a big red heart doing under there, anyways? Sora's mind was brought back to limbo when he heard the following words:
"Sora and Kairi sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S--jeez, shut up, Tidus!--I-N-G!"
Kairi was witnessing this all from the picnic table. Something in Sora snapped.
"Shut up, Riku."
"Aw, does wittle Sora want to beat me up? First comes--what was it? Love? Then comes--"
"SHUT. UP."
"Uh oh. Run away Riku! I think he's going to kill you!"
"What're you talking about?" And then he turned around. "Holy--" He could've screamed bloody murder. But what he did instead was run.
Meanwhile, at the picnic table, the teacher and the girls were finishing setting up the table. She almost had a heart attack when the most evil-sounding war scream hit her ears. What she saw when she turned her head would forever haunt her nightmares. "Sora! Stop that! Oh my goodness, where in the world did he get that pole?"
"It's the tether ball pole, Miss, and he wants to kill Riku," Selphie chirped. Obviously, she was enjoying this.
"I told the janitor to pour cement around the base of that thing," she mumbled, and then began shrieking when Sora began slicing the pole through the air.
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU RIKU!"
"Yeah, right. Tidus! C'mon, give me something here! Hand me one of the wooden swords!"
"Miss confiscated them after that crab thing!"
"$#&$!"
"RIKU! Don't swear on school property!"
"Sorry, Miss!"
The whole schoolyard was in chaos. Boys were standing on the sidelines, cupping their hands over their mouths and yelling to Riku which way he should dodge. The girls were busy screeching and fanning the fainted teacher. And right in the middle of this was Riku, running the fastest he had ever run in the nine years of his life, and Sora, who was charging after him like a madman. There was only one time in his life that Riku was actually scared of Sora, and this was it.
"Hey, Sora, it was only a joke!" Riku said lightheartedly between pants. "Everyone would've forgotten about it if you didn't make such a big deal--"
"I'M GONNA RIP ALL'A THAT PRETTY HAIR RIGHT OFFA YOUR HEAD!"
"Lay off already!"
"DIE!"
"All right, now I'm pissed!" Riku immediately dropped to his knees, extending one leg to trip his best bud. Sora was going too fast to stop. The laws of gravity were not on his side. (But then again, were they ever?) His body weight was still pulling forward at a high momentum when inertia caused him to tumble ten feet away.
The sky. That's what he saw as he lay sprawled on the dead February grass. What was today again? Oh yeah. Valentine's Day. The day that celebrated love and cursed anyone who tried to express it.
"Sora." The fallen macho muffin was almost afraid to see the face of the girl who spoke his name. Already cringing, he turned his head. It was Kairi. She was bending over him, holding the long forgotten heart-shaped box. And she was smiling.
"Thanks. I like chocolate." She pulled out a small wrapped stick from her bag of Valentine gifts. "I only got you a lollipop..."
"N-no! I love lollipops!" He pushed himself up. He didn't feel so bad now.
Kairi dropped it into his hands, and then skipped away, hugging her box happily.
"Hey, Sora." Sora looked over his shoulder. Riku was giving him an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that. I didn't think it meant that much to you."
"S'all right. Thank Kairi that I'm forgiving you so quickly."
"Hey, don't push your luck. I'm still going to win, Mister bipolar-anger-management kid."
"Hey! Win what? You mean---so you do know! Did your dad tell you? And I'm not bipolar!"
"Sure you're not."
February fourteenth, the deadliest day of the day. The elementary kids didn't get it so bad. Compared to the rest of the world, they were lucky. Two months of detention isn't too terrible, right? Nevertheless, the day ended up being good. Riku was again the reigning V-day card king, nobody teased Sora for quite a while, and Kairi was really happy that a certain macho muffin risked total humiliation to give her a box of chocolate.
She did like Riku's flowers better, though. But who says she's going to tell anybody that?
Author's Note: Weird, ne? I had fun writing it, so pyah. So, who else is spazzing over KH2? Eh? Ehhhh? I became the walking definition of hyper when I found out the release date. OH MEH PHWEE, IT'S ALMOST HERE!
If you don't understand the Shigure reference, please refer to Fruits Basket, volume two. Wanna know a tidbit? Some little quirks in here I've witnessed at school. Such as: a person sneaking into my math class singing the "Secret Agent Man" song. Seriously, it was funny!
Okies everyone, just remember that the writer of this fic doesn't think of the charas the way she wrote them. It's the chocolates who think that way!
Hope to see you soon, fwee!