Title: Confession
Author: DnKS-giRLs
Rating: PG
Pairing: Kanda-Allen
Disclaimers: err... umh, you've already known that it's not ours to begin with thus we can gain no profit without us telling you, right?
Warning: meh... read and you'll see how stupid it is... OOCness abroad... muahaha... when did we manage to make a fic that's not OOC/pointless? Right... never...
Rabi has always tried to avoid the chapel for all his time with all his might. He is not a good Catholics to begin with. He is not even religious. He will only sleep over during a sermon and those masses in Latin really bore him out of his mind. He is not like Rinali who always recites Hail Mary every morning, nor will he be like Allen who, though he said once not to care with the holy deity named God, always kneels before the altar and prays for all the people he knows.
He always tries to avoid the chapel because it is too silent for his own liking. Rabi loves crowd, he loves being with people who laughs with him and chats with him. In the church, he cannot talk. Every time he produces even the tiniest sound, there will be some angry glares directed to him by those stern looking old ladies around him.
Rabi believes that God resides in everyone's heart, not only in the church. He believes that salvation can come to someone without ever attending a Sunday mass, or maybe it's just his own mind trying to find an appropriate excuse for his own lethargy to come to the mass. It is a rather radical thought for a boy who lives in a Catholics tradition like him. He is sure that a priest will be called to perform an exorcism to him if he ever says his opinion, no matter that he is an exorcist himself, then they will burn him alive, nailed upside down on a cross, naked, in the Convent Garden.
Okay, that's too much. The point is Rabi hates church with vengeance. Maybe it's also because of his memory of something that should never be said that happened in a church near his house when he was little. No question about that, thank you.
So, you can imagine what a great surprise it is when Rabi finds himself standing on the aisle of a little church in some little village he even does not know how to spell the name. He just came there - the village, not the church - a week ago to do some kind of mission with Allen and Yuu. It is rare that the three of them can go together as partners in mission; therefore he's so grateful about that. Their mission has ended just on the previous day, and now, exhausted and totally spent, the three of them have decided it's better to wait for a couple of days before they move to their next mission. Thus said, they stay in an inn somewhere in the village. But that cannot explain why now he finds himself in this empty, cold, dark, not to mention scary little church.
He looks around suspiciously as if someone might appear from behind the shadow and attack him anytime soon. But no, there is nobody he can spot in that little space, not even a priest.
Slowly he makes his way through the aisle, trying to find someone, anyone, because - though he would rather die than admit it - this place starts to creep him out. He moves closer to a wooden box, there should be a priest in there. But with further investigation, he finds it to be empty.
Rabi snorts. Even they don't have any priest to do the confession service. Maybe they all have gone off eating lunch or what. Now, speaking about lunch, he really wants to try sitting in that box on the receiving side. Those two things have no connection, indeed, but it just happens that when he thinks about lunch, he somehow has a desire to know what it feels like to be a priest who listens to those confessions. His mind is messy; Rabi knows that without the need of anyone to tell him. But his mind sometimes can give him such awfully great idea, just like now. Being a priest, it's a rather entertaining job if he thinks about it. He can get people's secrets and make hot gossips from that. Of course, those priest have swore not to tell any living thing about those confessions they receive, but he is not a priest, therefore it's not a sin if he were to tell someone about someone else's confession, right?
Having made up his mind, Rabi enters the wooden box and clicks the door shut. Inside, he finds a chair on which he soon sits. Some minutes pass and nobody comes. Rabi starts to ponder about his decision when suddenly he hears some sounds coming from the small room beside the one he's currently occupying. He can hear the new comer sit down and a very soft voice comes into his hearing.
"Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."
That voice sounds familiar, but he cannot place it exactly.
"I have too," he said.
He just realizes how un-priest-like his answer is when the other person asks with the very same soft voice, "Pardon me, father?"
"No… I mean… we all have sinned as humans, but God is love thus He will forgive anyone who comes to Him asking for forgiveness," Rabi says, he is proud that he can pull out such talk like that. "You must remember, my child, that everyone who comes to God broken hearted will have joys replacing their sorrows."
"Amen," the voice answers. "Yes, I do believe, father, that's why I'm coming to you now."
"Speak, my child, I'm all ears to you," Rabi says, trying so hard to restrain his laugh.
"Father… I… I'm in love with someone…" that person says, somehow sounds very shy about it. "This person knows not about it and I intend to let it be like that for the rest of eternity, because… father, the person I love is… I… I love a man."
Rabi almost shouts "NO WAY!" with all the letters in capital but he can hold himself back. This is more interesting than what he previously imagined.
"Ummh… that's… ah… unusual…" he says finally after some coughs that he hopes to sound like clearing his throat but in fact is his attempts to hold his evil laughter.
"I know it is, father, I know it's a sin but I cannot stop myself from loving him, even now that I'm in a team with him in our mission, I cannot…" he stops and Rabi starts to be suspicious. "Father, I'm an exorcist. People says that we, exorcists, are the Apostles of God, but no… we're just normal people. And just like normal people, I too can love. Father, please do tell me what should I do?"
Rabi's frowns deepen. He thinks hard for a moment and then says.
"This person you love, is he an exorcist too?"
"Why, father? But to answer that, yes, he is, though that doesn't make things easier," the person sighs. "Why should I have to get interested in Kanda at the first place?"
"ALLEN!" Rabi shouts in full voice and full capital. Shortly after he shouts it, he clasps his hands over his mouth. This is awesome! One of his best friends has just confessed that he loved someone who is also his best friend. Oh joy!
"How… how do you know…" Allen's - yes, he's sure now it's Allen - nervous voice comes shaky and laced with fear. Quickly Rabi maintains his composure and searches for something to amend his fault so that Allen doesn't find out about his true identity.
"Know about what, my child?" he asks, trying to sound natural. "Ah, forgive me; you must be surprised with my shouting. It was… ah… a word of expressing shock from my homeland… I came from Finland and there we shout things like that when we're shocked."
He doesn't know why he said Finland. Maybe because he once came to Finland for his mission and he could just stand like an idiot hearing people speaking a language that is really strange to him.
"Oh…" Allen says and he hears a sound of breath being released. Rabi cannot believe that Allen actually believes his pathetic lie. That boy is really too naïve for his own good.
"So, my child, I can conclude that you love this man so dearly and now you're confused," Rabi says.
"Yes, father, I don't know what I should do."
"Well, child, I am not the one to give you advise, but listen to me carefully, love is never a sin," he says.
"But… father, do you mean…"
"Pray to the Lord so that He will show you His way… or just listen to your heart, that's why God has given us heart," Rabi says. "I wish upon you bless of Father, Son, and The Holy Spirit, my child. I hope that even though I cannot end your confusion, at least I can lessen your burdens by being a faithful hearing companion. Every time you need a person to talk with, please do come, this church's door will always open to you."
Actually he's not even sure if the church is even still functioning, given the fact that it looks so abandoned, but that just sounds so cool that he can't stop himself from saying it.
"Thank you, father, I think I will do as what you said," Allen says. "Good day, father."
"May God be with you, my child."
He can hear Allen take his leaving and when he's sure the boy is far away from him, Rabi releases the laughter that he has been holding for so long. He laughs so hard until he's bent over on his chair. He just cannot believe this. Allen loves Yuu! That timid and naïve boy named Allen Walker is in love with the cold Kanda Yuu!
Well, he snickers, as they said, opposites do attract. He imagines them being together and laughs harder. He loves them; Yuu and Allen are his two best friends. Now that he knows that Allen is in love with Yuu, Rabi is more than willing to set them up together. But what about Yuu…
The thought silences his laughter for a while. It's true that Allen loves Yuu, but does Yuu feel the same? Because if he's not, then things will surely get complicated.
When he's drowned in his contemplations, Rabi hears some sounds from the room next to him. He forgot to come out of this confession box and thus now he's forced to hear another confession.
He groans. Just when he's in so much need of thinking, there comes an intruder.
"Forgive me, father, for I have sinned," the new comer says and he almost jumps out from his chair. He recognizes that voice! How can he not if the person to whom that voice belongs has occupied his mind for some recent times. That's Yuu, he's so sure about that! Rabi has known him for so long that he can distinguish his voice easily.
But why is Yuu here? If it's about religion, he's sure that Yuu is even more un-religious - hey, is that even a word - than him. He's not even sure that Yuu ever has confessions.
"Speak, my child, I'm listening," he says.
"It has been nearly seven years since my last confession and I haven't gone to Sunday mass for nearly three years but that's not what I'm going to talk about," Yuu stops for a while. "I have… some serious problem… really serious…"
"Problems are God's way to call you back, my child," Rabi says. Seven years? And Yuu is living in the church as an exorcist for almost as long as he knows. How could he do it without being yelled at by his supervisor!
He needs to ask that later, for now there's a more important issue.
"Probably so," Yuu says. "But if I'm back, will it stop?"
"What will stop, my child?" Rabi prods further.
"Father, I… am in love… with my companion… a cute though stupid person whom I just met some months ago… who is a boy," Yuu says,
And before Rabi realizes it, he's shouting, "DEAR GOD YOU ROCK!" with all his voice… and, yes, of course, the letters are all in capital.
"What the…" Yuu says and he cuts him halfway.
"Sorry, that's just my form of showing shock…" he says.
"A weird one if I may say," Yuu says coldly.
"Umm… yes, you may say that. I am really shocked because just now, there is a boy who confessed the very same thing like you," he says carefully, endeavouring so that Yuu will get all of the hints he's throwing. That boy that Yuu is speaking about is Allen, Rabi can tell about that. There is no other person he knows who can fall into the category other than him.
"I thought priests were not supposed to tell other people about the confessions they received," Yuu says.
"Ah… umm… they changed the rule, so now we can tell stories about those confessions but still keeping the sensitive points secured. We think it can help people if we are to give them… some examples from living people… who has the same situations with them and reflects how these people solve their problem," Rabi says, his sudden inspiration always amazes him, "Many things changed in seven years of your absence, my dear."
"So, this boy, can he solve his problem?" Yuu asks.
"Well, I don't know yet, I have just given him some advises to follow his heart and ask for God's guidance, he's an exorcist, so I think he is already familiar with these religious things,"
Rabi smiles when he hears Yuu's nervous voice saying, "He's an exorcist, you said!"
"Yes, a very young exorcist, if I may add, not older than fifteen… it's a shame that a mere boy like him can be so confused over his problems. God really gives His hardest trials to those He finds closest to Him." Rabi says.
"And… he's in love…"
"With his fellow exorcist named Kanda," Rabi fakes a gasp. "Oh, dear, now I have told you. But it can do no harm right, since you cannot possibly know this Kanda guy…"
"Father, this boy… what he looked like?" Yuu demands.
"Dear… dear… my child, we were separated by a wooden divider, there's no way I can possibly know how he looks like. There is no way that I can know that he has white hair and black coat and a scar on his left eye. No, dear, I don't know how he looks like…"
Rabi hears a surprised intake of breath and the sound of a door being opened. Peeking from the creak on the door of the box he's in, he can see Yuu walking in fast strides out from the church, possibly in search for Allen. He grins and comes out of the box, feeling really amused and happy for them. He's not against them now that he knows they love each other. Rabi believes that love is never a sin so it's not wrong to love someone from your own gender, though normal people will likely take him to the court for the sin of blasphemy if they hear about it. But… like exorcist can be considered as normal…
He snorts again and his eyes catch the statue of Virgin Mary standing on the altar. He smiles, and then kneels before the altar. Closing his eyes, he utters the most disorganized prayer in his life.
"Dear Lord," he says. "I am sorry for lying and pretending to be a priest, but that was fun… or maybe I should feel sorry because I think it was fun? Anyway, You heard those two stupid boys and their confessions, I know You heard them since You heard everything, right? I hope that they can be happy. People said it was wrong for a guy to love another guy but I think it's not and if You have the same opinion as them, You are going to fight me. Oh, wait, if I oppose You, then You won't give Your blessings to them, and I know they need it badly. Please, Dear Lord, they are good people, I just want them to be happy, please unite them forever in happiness. And thank you for today. And I hope that those people from Finland are not angry because I've used their homeland to support my lie. And I wish that Komui is not going to kill me since I broke his coffee machine last week. Amen"
- the end -
(A/N : forgive us, readers, for we have sinned. We have made a fic that is not only stupid but also makes no sense. We have dirtied the holy sacrament of confession. We have been rambling with no meaning whatsoever. And even after all those things we still hope for some great reviews. Yeah… review… WE SAID REVIEW DAMMIT!)