Oh, by the way…********s separate scenes and exit flashbacks while ~*~*~*~*~s enter and separate flashbacks.

Tai walked through his bedroom door and into the hall that led to the kitchen. The History test he failed miserably seemed so…mundane now. In fact, everything seemed mundane compared to the past few events. God, why am I thinking like this? Nothing's REALLY changed, he thought as he sat on the couch in front of the TV. Oh, but it has… His father glanced at him and quickly averted his eyes back to the folded newspaper he had been reading. Looking at his father, he thought, I told you what was wrong when TK called from the hospital. You were shocked then…probably still are… That's why you can't talk to me, isn't it? I was shocked when I found out too. No…I died when he told us…Matt and I…we were friends but…It's as if we were more…

~*~*~*~*~

Two months ago, Tai had walked up to his friend in a huff and demanded, "Why Sora?"

"What?" Matt looked up from where he was tuning his guitar.

"Why did you pick Sora? Of all people…"

"Because."

"'Because' why?"

"You jealous?"

"Of her or of you?" the only response was an evasive shrug. "Look, she's been my best friend since we were little. I…I guess I'm kind of protective of her…ya know?"
"Uh-huh…" Matt replied as he placed the guitar in its case, careful not to scratch the red paint on the precious instrument.

"Well, it's obvious you like her, but…"

"I don't love her."

"Yeah…waitaminute…YOU ADMIT TO IT?!"

"Before you pound my face in, listen first."

"…Okay."

"Thank you."

"Your welcome," Tai sneered.

Matt sighed and continued, "Sora and I do like each other, like you said, but neither of us is making as much commitment as would be expected." Tai made as if to reply but Matt held up a finger, which quickly silenced him. "And there's a reason behind it, but neither one of us will tell you what it is. The main thing is that we…I…need comfort right now…and she was the most willing to give it without question."

"So…I take it you aren't having s—"

"No! Where'd you hear that?!"

"Around…" Tai answered as he looked at the floor and scuffed his sneakered feet.

"Ah…" Matt answered, nodding. "Well, we aren't and definitely won't be." Then with a faint smile, "So…you still have a chance. You mean more to me than she ever could…"

Tai blinked a few times then rubbed his eyes and muttered, "You mean to tell me that you love..." Tai shook his head. "I hope you know that it's very hard to tell when you're serious or not."

At this, Matt threw his head back and laughed. It took him awhile to calm down enough to say, "I know it is, I pride myself on it. Just pretend that I was joking; you're head will hurt less." He laughed a little more as he threw an arm around his friend. "Come on…it's the weekend and I'm unbelievably bored. Let's go do something."

Tai rolled his eyes and sighed before walking out the door with his friend.

~*~*~*~*~

A week or two later, they were in another one of their – monthly?…weekly?…daily?! – arguments…

"And tell me…WHY should I listen to you?!"

"Because I'm RIGHT!"

"You're ALWAYS right…aren't you?"

"Where you're concerned, yes."

"Ah…so THAT'S it, huh? Well, ya know what?"

Sarcastically, "No…what?"

A pause to fume, then, "…Ugh…Damn you!"

Shocked at the minor blow it made to his ego, "That's it?"

"I'm too frustrated right now to come with anything better," he huffed and turned around.

The other rolled his amber eyes and muttered, "Will wonders never cease…?"

He whipped around and demanded, "What? That YOU can render me speechless?"

"Yeah."

A long pause, then quietly, "You don't have to make me angry to do that you know…"

"Oh really? Hn…ya could've fooled me."

His stubborn friend lowered his eyes and whispered, "You wouldn't have been the first I've deceived…Tai…" he took a deep breath and stated, "I'm sorry."

Tai stared, awestruck, at his friend. Did I hear him right?! "Matt…?"

"Tai…I'm sorry for being a pain in the ass and I'm sorry for anything else I've ever done to make you hate me…" Matt collapsed onto the couch behind him. "It's just that…I…I…"

"Hey…" Tai breathed as he sat down next to his friend. "Why so apologetic all of a sudden?"

"I…" Matt began as he looked up at his friend. He struggled to keep the tears from revealing his pent-up emotions. "I can't tell you…at least…not now. I can't…"
"Why not?"

"I just can't. Please Tai, don't pry…"

"Alright…I won't…Hey, I gotta g–"

"Tai?"

"…Yeah?"

Matt looked up, and asked, "What would you do…if I started crying right here and now…?"

Taken aback, he replied, "I'm not sure. Cry and we'll see what happens." Matt lowered his head and his hands came up to cover his eyes. His shoulders began to shake with violent sobs.

Tai, startled, shaken and overall dumbfounded, mechanically wrapped his arms around his friend. He felt the other teenager lean into the embrace. He pressed his lips against his friend's forehead and whispered quiet words to soothe the tormented soul.

Matt's tears eventually desiccated and he was lulled to sleep by his friend's touch and whispered words of comfort. Tai ran his fingers through his friend's silken tresses before looking at his face. The pale skin was streaked tears. The young man reached forward and gently rubbed away the crystalline stains.

"Whatever pains you Matt…don't hide it from me…not anymore…I'm here…and I always will be…"

********

Tai could feel the anguish wash over him once again. The youth rubbed his eyes and swiped at the tears before they marked his cheeks, a desperate attempt to keep his cool exterior. You knew even back then…didn't you Matt? God, it's only 10 in the morning…I can't cry now…

He sat down and ran his hands through his hair as he turned to look out the window. The mountains were veiled in the early-morning fog, giving them an ethereal appearance. I wonder how he's doing, Tai thought.

"You thinking about him again?" a feminine voice asked from beside him.

Turning from the window, Tai found himself face-to-face with his younger sister. Her amber eyes, so much like his, were troubled.

"Yeah…I am…" Tai commented, trying to sound nonchalant, but not quite succeeding. "I woke up this morning from a nightmare – that I can't remember now," he said, cutting Kari off before she could ask what it was about. "And I haven't gotten rid of this feeling that something bad's gonna happen…"

"You think it has something to do with Matt?"

"It might…no – it definitely does – but…I dunno…everything's jumbled and I can't think straight…"

Kari pursed her lips and looked at the table, thinking. She looked up and made to comment but was rudely interrupted by the ringing of the phone. Tai groaned and walked over to the small table that the household menace rested upon. Picking up the earpiece Tai answered it, "Hello…Yes, this is he…"

Kari watched in confusion as her older brother's face paled from the healthy bronze complexion to a pasty white in seconds. The receiver dropped from dead fingers and he slumped to the floor, mouth moving but forming no audible words. The young teen rushed to her brother's side as he began shaking and rocking back and forth. "Tai? Tai! Snap out of it! What's wrong?" she asked. When her brother gave no response, she grabbed the phone off the floor. "Hello? Who is this?" she demanded.

"This is Takeru…Hikari?"

"Yeah?"

"What happened to Tai?"

"Maybe you should tell me." Her only answer was a cold, dead silence on the other end. Dismissing the shiver that ran down her spine she asked, "TK?"

"…It's Matt…he…he's dead, Kari. He passed away last night."

Kari was stunned speechless and trembled at the unfeeling voice from the other line. She gently placed the phone back on the floor and wrapped her arms around her now hysterical older brother. Burying her face in his mass of hair, she wept as he sobbed into her shoulder. They held each other, looking for comfort, but finding little. Oh God…what next?

********

The sorrow and pity is overwhelming, thought Takeru as he stood in the cemetery with the rest of the black-clad mourners. I wonder how many of these people actually KNEW my brother… His eyes moved from one face to another, recognizing some and dismissing others as random fan-girls and -boys. The band members were there out of "devotion" to their lead singer. No, TK thought with a barely concealed sneer, Their FORMER lead singer. Skipping over other such… "friends"…TK came to the rest of the DigiDestined who were also dressed in appropriate black attire.

The mothers and daughters held onto their husbands, boyfriends, or each other as the fathers and sons stood either stone-faced or stared off into space as tears painted their cheeks. Those without umbrellas were becoming thoroughly drenched by the onslaught of rain. "Fashionably gothic, but no less depressing," as Matt would say…

Tilting his face upwards he closed his eyes and let the rain spatter against his face. The Heavens are crying…I wonder why considering they have him now, he thought bitterly. Returning his gaze to the ceremony, he noticed no one had scorned his reaction to the drawn out speech the priest was making. I'm not trying to look bored, Hell no…it's just…why does this have to be open to everyone? God, some of these people are just here because they saw it in the paper. And the priest doesn't even know who we all are. All he knows is that we're paying him. None of them give a damn… Why do I feel so fucking cold?

TK shivered and looked at his parents. His mother stood dabbing her eyes with a Kleenex. Tears of a broken woman…a broken mother. Mr. Ishida looked tired…exhausted. He suffered as his son had suffered…and now he'd suffer alone. No one should have to out-live their own child…

TK pulled his hands out of his trench coat's pockets and looked at them. They were shaking. He closed his eyes and placed them back in the safety of the cotton lining. He looked up and found the ceremony had drawn to a close. People were placing roses and other flowers upon the lid of the casket.

"Takeru?" TK turned to face his pallid mother. "It's time to go…"

"I know… Can I have a few minutes though?" he asked as he watched her face tightened.

"Yeah – "

"Good," TK cut her off and turned to face the coffin once again.

"But – "

"Nancy," whispered Mr. Ishida as he pulled gently on his ex-wife's wrist. "Let him be…" Taking one last look at her son, Ms. Takaishi reluctantly followed.

TK walked up to the casket that encased his deceased older brother. Reaching forward, he ran his hands along the smooth, polished surface. It was almost impossible to imagine his brother – a walking, talking inspiration to everyone around him [1] – laying silent…dead…within the cold, wooden box. He lowered his head and his knees gave out on him. TK kneeled in the grass and pressed his forehead against the coffin's exterior. He could smell the faint perfume of the multiple floral arrangements that adorned the casket. Tears spilled from his eyes as he closed them. Why?

********

Nancy Takaishi [2] sat in the passenger seat of the jade Nissan [3] her ex-husband had bought a month ago. "For Matt when he goes to college," he had said. Both knew, however, that their son would never get a chance to drive it…She blinked back more tears and looked out the car windows to see her ex-husband take a deep drag on the newly lit cigarette before glancing up to their younger, grieving son. He inhaled the poisonous smoke once again before tossing the cigarette to the ground and grinding out the still-burning embers with his shoe.

"Still haven't kicked the habit, huh?" she asked as he entered the vehicle. Her nose twitched at the putrid odor that still hung around him. She had divorced him for a number of reasons, but this practice had been a daily irritation.

"I almost had," he muttered.

They sat in silence then, not knowing what to say and what should be left unsaid. Nancy heard him sigh and shift in his seat. Turning, she saw he was twisted so he could see their son standing…no, kneeling next to the coffin. The coffin that held their other… The woman lowered her eyes to look upon her clenched hands. She hated cemeteries. They were where the old and the sick should be laid. Not children…not her child…

"Nancy…"

"Yeah?" Silence met her. "Masaharu…?" [4] She turned to find him leaning against the wheel, head in hands. Placing a hand on his shoulder, she shook it gently. "…Masaharu…?"

"Why? Why does this have to happen?! Dammit!" he cried slamming his hand against the wheel. "This should never have happened! He was only sixteen! Sixteen, Nancy! He had hopes and dreams…and I feel like…like I wasted all of his and my time together… I was always at work and him either at school or with friends. We had never really talked until we found out about the illness…found out how little time he had left. I feel like I never really got to know my own son."

Nancy paused to think. "I think you're wrong…"

"What?"

"I think…I think you always knew our son…at least, much better than me. And you always loved him…"

"I did, but did I ever tell him that? After the…divorce…I was too wrapped up with my own problems to really pay any attention to his…God… And by the time I did have time to be with him…I found he had already grown up… My son…my little boy…"

"You forget that he was mine as well…"

The man turned to face his ex-wife. Tears blurred his vision as they clouded hers. "Nancy…"
Reaching forward, she cupped his face in her palms. "I know…I know. We'll get through this…together." She held him to her until the tears dried and their son entered the car. Leaning back into the seat, Nancy watched Masaharu as he started the car and drove them out the gates of the cemetery. We have to put this behind us…maybe not now, but we have to. And we will; we'll start again…a new future…

********

"…The band broke up. I'm sure you kinda figured that, though. No one would ever be as good as you. That and I guess they don't feel like it's honorable to find someone to take your place. I have to admit, I hope it's the second reason." He laughed. "Me being my sardonic self again…sorry about that. You never liked it. You said you'd rather me be the nice twin rather than the evil one. But sometimes…I can tell which is which and where's the line between." He sighed. "Tai and Sora are together. I asked Tai about it. He didn't really give me an answer though… I wonder why. Personally, I think it's because they miss you. Then again…everyone does…" He laughed again. "Everyone keeps saying that I've been acting more and more like you. That's kinda scary, ne? I mean…I was supposed to be the sweet and sorta naïve one right? I'm beginning to wonder if you've ever acted a little crazy. Lots of people think I've lost it. Well…not lots lots of people…just a few. Tai doesn't. He knows just as well as the rest of the DigiDestined that I've developed these…moods since you left. I can't help it, ya know? I mean, I haven't started swallowing pins or dressing in black or anything [5]. It's just that I get a little depressed every now and then. That and the fact that I come to a cemetery to talk to a tombstone to find consolation." He paused to think of what else had happened in the last month. So much to talk about so little time, he thought as he glanced at the setting sun. "I don't have much time left…I don't know about you but I don't like cemeteries after the sun's gone down. For some reason they freak me out." He shivered. "On to more cheerful news…Mom and Dad are thinking about getting together again. They both have good jobs now, so the money won't be tight like last time. That's always a good thing right? …I remember that you told me once that Dad still loved Mom even after the divorce. Guess you were right. Like I said earlier, they're thinking about it. In my opinion, they'll be okay. They've got everything running for them so…let's hope. I imagine that you'd say something modest right now if the dead could talk. Something about happiness arising from tragedy…" He sighed and rubbed at his eyes that had suddenly teared up. "I miss you, you know. A lot. So does everyone else but…you know." He sniffed and swallowed back a whimper. Trying so hard to contain his tears hurt sometimes. "Hn…of course you know. You always did. Now, don't laugh but, sometimes…sometimes and can feel you with me. I can almost hear you…or see you. I have to admit, it used to freak me out but…I'm used to it now. That's a good thing, right?" He paused for a long time before he pulled something shiny out of his pocket. Matt's harmonica glittered in the fading sunlight. "I found this in some of your old stuff. I can't play yet but…I don't know…I think I can learn. I want to. I know I'll never master the guitar but… Even if I don't learn, I want to keep it. I need a part of you with me." He reached forward and touched the cool marble of the headstone. "I miss you Oniichan…and I love you. And I hope you'll meet me at the Gates when I follow you." He then stood up and dusted the dirt off of his pants. "I gotta go now…Mom will be wondering where I disappeared to. I'll come back and visit soon. I promise." And with that, Takeru Takaishi left the cemetery with a much lighter heart than coming in. His rational mind wondered why he would waste his time talking to a grave. However, deep down he knew why. Matt was always a good listener. Just 'cause he's left this life doesn't mean he still can't hear me rant… And he smiled.

[1] Disturbing Behavior quote…it's only PART of the quote but…anyway, when I heard it…well, watched the entire scene really, I thought of TK talking to Kari if Matt died. Of course…the brother in the movie committed suicide. Very sad…

[2] One of the common reviews was that I kept spelling TakAIshi wrong. 'A' before 'I,' right? There. I fixed it. ^_^

[3] I told my cousin to, "Name a car that could be bought in Japan." And one of the…categories?…companies? *shrugs* was a Nissan.

[4] Thanks to everyone at my E!Group (now Y!Group), Digimon_Fanfics, for helping me figure out his name. A few thought that the dub's version was "Malcolm" but…I figured I should stay with the Japanese…ne? ~_^

[5] Anyone catch the reference to GTK brought to us by the wonderful Clare Ishida? Go learn about him here at: http://www.crosswinds.net/~mattishida/main.html and click the "Goth TK's Room" link! ^_^*