Merlin walked Lourdes' hand in his the only one she would answer at this point. He told her of their need to speak to her and she entered the room seeing Arthur, Lancelot, Viviane, Merlin and herself. It unnerved her, she didn't like the chill it gave her and the foreshadowing of what was to come. Her eyes scanned all theirs and she didn't like the nervous desperate emotions in all their depths. Merlin kept hold of her hand almost afraid she might run it seemed and it made her stomach knot.
"What is this about?" She finally asked when no one spoke.
"It's about Britons future. You life did not come without a debt as you well know." Viviane replied evenly.
Lourdes' looked at her just as evenly. "A life I did not ask for"
Viviane stepped closer to her the regal fury that she was and the commanding power and dominance taking them all over. "Your pitiful dramatics must end now Lourdes'. Everyone's lives depend on it now." She spoke boldly and pointedly taking Lourdes by surprise.
Merlin Squeezed her hand gently to gain her attention and reassure her to some degree at least. " Lourdes' you are a Castus you are royalty now. Your brother married and is expected to have an heir. With Guinevere's injuries you are well aware that is no longer possible." Merlin shook his head as he spoke gently.
"Un fortunately now that task falls to you" Viviane added sympathetically.
Lourdes' eyes went tense " What? I have to have a child now?"
Arthur took his sisters other hand. "Yes, I know this is so hard. They are right though. As you know. If there is no Castus heir to take my place when I am gone this land will fall to ruin again. It will go to an enemy and war will break out again."
Lourdes' sighed closing her eyes tilting her head towards the floor. "Yes that is true."
They all exchanged looks with Lancelot who was still silent gauging her reactions. "Lourdes' you know if it is not your brothers child, the child you must have must be strong in title and personality. You know you must a knight's child. Britons are scared right now. Peace has come to us and you know we dare not lose it."
"A knight's child?" Kourdes said her brow furrowing and then glanced to Lancelot who slightly flinched waiting for it to click and he saw when it did. Lourdes shook her head and went pale. " No, please…tell me I am wrong please…" She nearly begged looking to Arthur who closed his eyes painfully at her expression.
"No this can't be happening. You want me to have Lancelot's child?!" She yelled incredulously and began to fight the hold Merlin and her brother had on her and they let go as her hands covered her face and she shook her head." No!...that's not possible."
Viviane walked up in front of her. "Lourdes think of this from our end. It is the only rational explanation. The first knight and the kings sister, nearly just as strong as any child the king and queen would have. It would not be fought if he was put on the throne." She explained gently.
"No! What about Gawain, Galahad, DAGONOET! Just not him! Why should I do this anyway I am no good to any man anymore. Why should I be forced to have a child for political purposes" She yelled frantically.
"You will need to marry as well the child cannot be a bastard." Merlin pointed out. Lancelot and Arthur looked at him that wasn't mentioned before.
"What?" Lancelot said surprised.
Lourdes' gaze "Figures you'll consent to bed a woman alright, but marriage and your head wants to explode. Vile pig!" Lourdes spat at him.
Before anyone could do anything Lancelot stepped into her face. " I would marry you in a heartbeat." HE said in whisper to her and serious about it. " I was surprised they hadn't mentioned the marriage before, but it makes sense. I am not as selfish as you Lourdes." He said evenly.
Lourdes stepped away from him and began to pace. "The final answer is no, I don't care what war it starts" She yelled moving to the door and went to open it but a door slammed it shut again and she looked up at Lancelot whose face was still even and hard to read.
"Give us a moment alone will you" He said to the others but his eyes never left her and they exited out the other door. He stood their staring at her for what seemed an eternity before speaking. "You need to stop being a selfish spoiled brat. Everything you do is about you. Arthur needs you for the first time he is asking something of you. Extremely hard and he knows it is."
Lourdes' eyes went wide her head reared back. " I would do anything for my brother." She spt
"Obviously not. Just cause it's me. You will let your vendetta with me keep you from making peace in Briton. You know I consented to this already. I will marry you and have you bare my children. It doesn't bother me. For you to do it though means you have to let go of eighteen years worth of locked doors. So whose the coward in this?" He asked leaning his hand on the door by her head leaning in closer to her.
Lourdes looked at him and shook her head. " I can't. No.."
"Why can't you Lourdes?" He asked simply boring his gaze into hers begging her to just release it all finally. "Why is just me? Why would you marry and share a bed with any man but me? "His voice a whisper but it was firm and probing into her mind.
"I-I can't share any mans bed or be any kind of wife you know this. Not after….after the Saxons." She shook he head and looked down.
Lancelot put is finger under her chin and raised it gently to meet his gaze again. "That act does not need to define you. I would never hurt you, you know that. Whether you want to believe it or not you know it's true."
Lourdes felt the tears build in her eyes this was ridiculous she shook off his hand and ran around the round table to leave out the other door. "No! That's final!" She said firmly and slammed the door behind her. Lancelot let out a heavy breath looking to the ceiling before his fist came down on the door he leaned on in frustration.
Lourdes burst through the castle till she found herself in a corner of the stables in tears and just sunk into a dark corner sobbing.
"Lourdes?" She looke dup startled to hear her name and saw Dagonet and looked down again hiding her face.
Dagonet and looked to her and his face softened, they must of told her. The knights knew already cause it was a huge thing. They also knew Lourdes would refuse.
"Sweet girl come here" He said sweetly taking her hand making her stand and he helped brush her off and hugged her gently. " We know of the burden this would be. They are right though. Lancelot is the best choice. Silly girl, he cannot see hwat the rest of us assumed and thought years ago." He ran a hand over her cheek rubbing the tears away.
"You care for him so much, you have fought so hard and ran so far. Have you ever thought to concede in this battle and see where it ends. You might be surprised. Lancelot has never hated you Lourdes."
"No he has only cared for me as a sister. Those words hurt more then anything. He will marry me cause he is forced to, and forced to share his bed with me. What kind of life it that." She shook her head hugging herself to Dagonet relishing the warm comfort she felt in his arms.
"I do know that you are both as stubborn as mules. If either of you didn't want this to happen it wouldn't Briton in both of your hands. Not only that fight as I still know you both will. You both cannot run forever. NO lives at risk, no more malviolent tendencies. You have no more strength for it I can tell and I believe he is becoming to calm for the situation. Just remember he never hated you, he would never mistreat you and he cares for you in some way He would treat you well Lourdes." Dagonet said gently smileing down at her.
"If nothing else do it for us, your people, for Arthur. We need you too, just as we need him."
Lourdes sighed kissing his cheek and walking of the stables with a sad smile at her "Thank you Dagonet"