Disclaimer: Diabolo and its characters created by Kei Kusunoki and Kaoru Ohashi

Imperfect Circles

The Bad Son

The door creaked open quietly in a comically blatant attempt to go unnoticed.

Without looking, Tsukiko raised her hand and ushered her husband inside. Kyouya entered, holding his little girl's hand with more than a bit of misgivings. He was not one for hospitals, or of anyplace enclosed or filled with sickness. But he knew Tsukiko was there and he had news he wanted to share - and not in the few spare moments fate often granted them alone in their home.

Tsukiko's hair was pulled back tight, the yards of deep black wound into an impossibly small bun at the nape of her neck. Kyouya thought about how lovely the creamy white curve of her skin was.

While simply sitting or standing and saying nothing seemed to be plenty enough to occupy the minds of both husband and wife, it did nothing for a little girl, even one as complacent as Yukina. She swung the hand encased within her father's much larger one and broke him from his stupor.

The man cleared his throat, wondering how to begin. "I've got a possible address," he said abruptly, opting for the straight route.

"And?" Tsukiko prompted without bothering to face him.

"The first one was old," her husband told her sheepishly. "And anyway, it's still under police control. But it seems he's been moving around a lot since, well, since he lost his home. But this latest one looks promising. I've managed to get a lot of information out of Kitayama and let me tell you, that was no easy . ."

"Dear," the woman broke in, "You're babbling." She hated it when he babbled. It was such an un-Kyouya-like thing to do in her opinion and was only done on the very rare occasions that he was especially uncomfortable. It was a relatively new and wholly unattractive habit and she saw no reason for it to rear its ugly head right now.

"Sorry," Kyouya mumbled. The thing was, seeing his wife like this always made him itchy. She was strict and stern and proper and not exactly his Tsukiko.

He hated hospitals and he wasn't particularly fond wife when she was in them.

Yukina squeezed his hand.

The man looked down at his daughter, her large wide eyes staring off in the general direction of her mother. He smiled and squeezed her hand back, knowing full well that her automatic gesture had not been an encouraging one.

"Anyway," he went on, "The point is, now what?"

Tsukiko sighed wearily and got to her feet, finally facing her husband. "Well," she said in the professional tone that allowed for no crack in her porcelain veneer - the one Kyouya did not like, "I suppose we ought to find out just how much they remember. And if anything," she glanced quickly at her daughter, "history-related is going on now. I just get this bad feeling." She touched the center of her chest. "Then we can decide what we should fill in. And then," she placed the tips of her fingers delicately on the back of the chair she'd just been using. "I imagine we should bring them together."

Kyouya only nodded gravely, not having anything he felt necessary to say just then. It took the child to break the strangeness that wheedled into the room, though she didn't dispel it, only transformed it to a new kind.

"Who's that?" She asked in her normal, bland tone.

Her father followed the line of her sight and even though he knew what he would see, the resemblance, the trip back in time it elicited, made his breath catch in his throat. Yukina squeezed his hand again and he blinked himself free of memory.

Tsukiko smiled, unsure of the emotion she should reveal with the expression. "That," she said plainly, "Will be our new houseguest."

--

Nana looked around the room with a very unflattering eye while her hands sat firmly on her hips. She shook her head in grave disapproval. Then she walked over to a corner, knelt down, and delicately picked up a dead beetle by one of its spindly legs. She examined its hard shell, its appendages clenched up in its final death throes, and raised her eyebrows. Then she shook her head again and tossed the lifeless creature out the sole open window.

"This place," she said, turning around and crossing her arms over her chest, "Is a disgrace."

Scuffing her feet as she went, she moved towards the center of the room, stopped, and began to work diligently at a stain in the carpet with the toe of her shoe. Her lips pulled down in a frown. "It's a filthy, disgustin' dump."

Clearly, she did not posses Chiaki's tact.

The stain persisted, it had been there much longer than Nana had, so she gave up the fight and simply stomped on it as punishment for its existence.

"Ya know, ya coulda just stayed with us," the girl called back to the kitchen, which was really just a line of cabinetry barricaded against the rest of the apartment by a low partition.

"I couldn't do that," Rai answered softly, lining up his newly acquired food cans onto the counter with hollow clanks.

Nana thinned her lips and growled under her breath. She looked over to her brother as he ritualistically placed a pillow on the requisitioned milk crates, adjusted the blanket, tested out the comfort and then repeated the process about twenty zillion times. Rei had just tweaked the position of the blanket yet again before he sat down, bounced a little and then smiled out into the empty space. Apparently he had finally found the magical configuration and was pleased.

Nana rolled her eyes and turned back to Rai.

"Ah cannot believe you sold that car," she moaned as if it ought to have been bequeathed to her.

"How else did you expect me to get this place?" Rai reasoned.

The dark-haired boy placed the last of his meager provisions into the cabinet and closed the door. Carefully folding the paper bag for future use, he stowed it away in a separate cabinet, and tried not to think about how bare they all were.

The girl waved off the explanation with a sigh and returned to the window. In the distance, she could see the clear blue sky as a backdrop to the Tokyo skyline. "At least the view's not half bad," she allowed.

"Gee, thanks," Rai said disingenuously as he sat down beside Rei. The taller boy then tested the comfort of the "sofa" before turning to his friend and nodding satisfactorily. Rei smiled.

"So, when do ya start?" Nana asked.

Rai blinked. "Oh, uh, Tuesday."

"Hmm."

There was silence for a while, not strained exactly, but strange.

Rai coughed. "So how about you?" He asked hopefully. "Any luck?"

Nana leaned back against the sill and turned her head to the side so she could gaze out the window. "Oh, yeah," she said. "Because we are so good at these things."

"You don't have to be snide." Though Rai knew this would be the case, he was still bitterly disappointed.

The girl simply pursed her lips.

"Mako's been actin' funny," Nana offered. "Well, more'n usual. And she's been buggin' the hell outta Kaoru. Don't know what's up with that."

There was another pause.

"She has your money," Rei stated helpfully.

Rai paused a second before replying. "I know."

The three friends waited quietly for a moment longer, each lost to their own individual thoughts.

Rei began to swing his legs, letting his heels hit the crates he sat on in a percussive rhythm. "I don't like that girl."

His sister snorted inelegantly.

The blonde turned to the boy next to him. "I don't trust her."

Rai tilted his head curiously and nodded, already well aware of Mako's lack of scruples.

"Yeah, well, that ain't any shock to us," Nana observed dryly.

Rei hit his heel against the crate again, reverberating the sound like announcements through the thin building construction.

Slender dark brows pulled together over Rai's green eyes. He jerked his chin in Nana's direction. "What's this thing with Kaoru you were talking about?"

"Wha? Oh." Nana turned her head to her friend as if roused from a daydream. "Hell if Ah know."

Rai dropped his chin to his hands, a bit disappointed.

"She saw something."

Both Nana and Rai turned to the smallest member of their trio simultaneously. The little blonde blinked at them innocently, his eyes volleying slowly from one to the other.

"What did she see?" Rai asked, blindly hoping it was something to do with his parents while wondering, if that was the case, why she hadn't mentioned it before.

The blonde only shrugged.

His sister twitched her head curiously and pushed off the wall, considering her brother.

Thoughtfully, Rai bit his lip. "When did you notice?" He turned to his quiet friend and clarified. "The problem between Mako and Kaoru?"

Rei placed his hands on either side of his hips and stared down at his feet. He scrunched up his forehead. "Right around when. . ." He trailed off, indicating without words that he meant the day Rai's parents were arrested.

After staring for a moment at Rei, Rai's gaze transferred to the boy's twin. But Nana's eyes were fixed rather resolutely on her brother.

She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes. "Well, then," she said, dragging the words like molasses, "Aren't we just a bag full of secrets?"

Rei just swung his legs, no longer hitting the crate, and continued to stare at his moving feet.

Nana blinked very slowly once, then with a sudden twitch of her head, turned her attention back to her dark-haired friend. She raised her eyebrows and waved her hand as if to say, "what can you do?" But what she actually said was, "Ah'll look into it."

Her friend gave her a sheepish smile as he clasped his hands, his elbows on his knees. "Thanks, Nana." And he gave her another awkward smile.

--

Although the school had gone through no major changes since Rai left, it felt completely different to a small, select group of people. To Nana it felt gloomier and put her constantly ill at ease as if something was inherently missing in the day-to-day run of activities. On the other hand, Mako was deliriously delighted as if she'd won the lottery, continually grinning with an evil flash of her overgrown canines. Yuu walked the halls with an air of pompous self-satisfaction, which frankly wasn't much of a difference. Rei behaved as quietly as normal except that he would repeatedly stop and cast glances at no one in particular. And Kaoru, well Kaoru just seemed perpetually agitated as though a swarm of bees was hot on her tail.

That, however, could be for reasons unrelated to Rai's absence.

But then again, maybe not.

Nana had promised to find out what all the fussing was about and she fully intended to follow through. So she had tailed the dark-haired girl for several days, hoping to get some clue, but Kaoru's school life turned out to be nothing but an ordinary school life. But Nana persisted and on the fourth day, something of interest finally occurred.

Nana's mark was going about her business of cleaning up when Mako stepped out in front of her, seemingly out of nowhere. Nana felt a little thrill of surprise go up her spine and then narrowed her eyes to watch intently. Kaoru meanwhile, had given very little sign of shock, perhaps a small shift of her foot backwards before standing a little taller and clutching her broom tighter to her body.

"Well, well, well," Mako drawled, circling her victim like a shark. She was decked out in her usual after school attire of clothes of bad taste. The ghastly necklace she wore was almost the size of her head and the many faceted mirrors glued to it nearly blinded Nana, even as far away as she was. It looked like Mako was the winner in some twisted Olympic event no one actually wanted to win. "If it isn't the peeping tom."

Kaoru scowled. "I believe you're talking about yourself." She pitched it slightly as though asking a question she already knew the answer to.

But Mako, as usual, was unfazed. She just continued to circle. "Don't play innocent with me." The fashion victim leaned in close. "I saw you. I know it was you, even with . . ." the girl flapped her hand up and down as a sneer curled her lip. "But you still haven't told me why."

"Huh." Kaoru mused, settling easily onto her back foot. "I'm sorry, but I just don't have an explanation for why your life is so empty that you have to obsess over the trivialities of others'"

A muscle near Mako's right eye seized. She frowned momentarily then melded the expression into one of her patented sneers. "You want to continue playing it that way? Fine. But I know something is going on."

"Don't base wild suppositions on events that never even occurred." Kaoru smiled sweetly. "People might start to think you're paranoid."

Mako delicately lifted one eyebrow and smirked with amusement. Then she gave the other girl a long, knowing look before sauntering away as if triumphant, even if it was in a game only she was playing.

There was barely a breath's amount of time before Nana made her presence known. "What was all that about?"

Kaoru turned to Nana quizzically, probably trying to figure out how the girl popped up out of the woodwork, before sighing and waving her hand dismissively. "Oh, nothing."

Nana crossed her arms and faced the direction the infamous girl had taken. "Didn' sound like nothin'." She swiveled her head back to face Kaoru. "Where were ya that's got her so interested?"

"No place special," Kaoru answered evasively, but upon seeing Nana's unwavering stare, she sighed again and said, "She seems to think I was there when Rai kissed that boy."

"Why would she think that?"

"I don't know." Kaoru replied, clearly confused. "Because she's unstable?"

Nana snorted then quirked an eyebrow. "That's old news anyway."

The blue eyes of the other girl rolled to the side. "No kidding."

"Ah don' know why she thinks she can always get away with things like that."

Kaoru shrugged disinterestedly. "Because she always does? People like her somehow get away with everything."

Nana made a puzzled noise and looked back down the hall Mako disappeared down. She unfolded her arms. "Ah was hopin' you knew somethin' about Rai's family."

"Why would I?"

Nana twitched her shoulder. "Well, the princess has been botherin' you, and Ah'm pretty sure she's involved."

Kaoru's eyes went wide and her jaw dropped slightly. "Why would you think that?" But apparently she saw the flaw in that question and shook her head. She attacked the other half of the statement instead. "Don't you think if I knew anything I'd have told Rai?"

"Yeah, Ah guess." The taller girl put her hands to her hips and screwed up her face in thought. "But that doesn't make any sense. Why would she be buggin' you so much over something so . . . stupid?"

"How should I know?" Kaoru shot back a bit peevishly. "That girl's always plotting something, maybe she thinks everyone else must be too."

Nana turned on the girl and crinkled her brow, asking relatively flatly, "Are you?'

The brunette pursed her lips in irritation and gave Nana a "you've got to be kidding me" look. "The only thing I'm plotting," she said, "Is how to get Mako off my back."

Nana's lip went flat as she looked off into space. "That's understandable." She took a sudden look up, catching sight of a cobweb floating lazily in an unseen breeze. "How 'bout Ah give ya a hand here?"

Wordlessly, Kaoru accepted the offer and Nana walked off in search of a broom. And so they left it, with no questions answered, and a few new ones raised.

--

"Still nothing?" A male voice asked.

"Still nothing," a woman repeated in answer.

There was a scrape of metal against linoleum as a chair was pulled up beside the bed. A long silence followed, interrupted only by the growing crackle of a remote fire.

"I think I've found him this time," the man offered hopefully.

The fire fled back out into the far distance.

The woman hummed. "You said that the last time."

"True, true," the man admitted. "But I didn't know then that he hadn't been keeping anyone up-to-date on his whereabouts."

"Oh?" The woman brushed a warm hand over Ren's injured cheek as he slept. "Then what makes you think you've found him this time?"

"Well, I said he hadn't been keeping up-to-date." The male chuckled.

The woman heaved a sigh. "And? I suppose he just came up and told you, did he?"

"Now, now," the low, masculine voice soothed as a rustle of fabric, his hand across the woman's arm, sounded into the silence. The woman released an apologetic breath of air.

"I'm sorry. I'm just under so much stress," she explained.

Then there was a lull in the conversation and the roar of flames that had been relegated to the background of Ren's mind resurged, attempting to drown out everything else.

"You were saying?" the woman prompted.

The sound that didn't fit, the blaze that searched for Ren in the darkness, faded away again.

The chair made a horrible squeal along the floor as it was pulled back. "I followed his lawyer."

"Well," the woman said, plainly unimpressed. "That works too."

"Hey, a little credit here. That guy didn't know where he was any better than I did until recently. And it's harder than it sounds." He began ticking off the impediments to his success. "I have to avoid being seen by the lawyer and my boss and anyone who could rat on my activity. And all this while maintaining my own case load . . ."

"Yes, yes, of course."

The man sounded as if he was pouting.

"Anyway," the male went on, still rather put out, "I'm heading there in a couple of days."

The woman sighed again and placed her fingertips to Ren's brow. "Thank goodness," she said with obvious relief. "Hopefully soon we can find out how Rai's doing."

Ren's eyes flew open, an action he immediately regretted when the harsh, sterile light assaulted his pupils. Squeezing them shut again, he tried to raise his hand to his face and found it to be a much more difficult task than it had any right to be.

How long had he been asleep? It felt like a long time; like just this side of forever.

But then he'd heard that name, and like it was a trigger, his eyes opened. He groaned loudly and tried again to lift his hands, succeeding this time with the exertion of great effort, in bringing them to his cheeks. His fingers stopped and for a moment he felt frozen in time. There was something wrong with his face.

"No, no," that woman, the one he kept hearing in his sleep, said. "Slowly, now. Slowly."

Then there were small, warm, gentle hands on his, bringing them back down to rest at his sides.

"That's good, that's right," the woman encouraged calmly. "Now, try again. Slowly, slowly."

And Ren did exactly as she advised, carefully raising the lids of his eyes as if they were made of glass. The adjustment went better this time around, but the room was also dimmer than it had been before. He blinked a few times; his eyes felt dry as did his throat, but he was too busy trying to take in his new surroundings to be overly concerned with his discomfort. It was an all too depressingly familiar sight. He'd woken up in hospital beds too many times to properly count. But he couldn't remember clearly how he had gotten here this time. His father? No, that was ages ago. Those bullies? Well, that was always a possibility, but he'd never had a beating so bad that it knocked his memory clear out of him. Unfortunately. Himself? He didn't think so. He'd been doing well lately, he thought, and for quite some time now. So that left what? He shook his head, not coming up with any viable options and chose to take a better look around instead. That was at least something he could handle, even in his bewildered state.

On the second pass, he noticed the most obvious difference between this room and every other one he'd been in before. This one came equipped with a beautiful woman perched in a chair beside his bed.

Tsukiko smiled at him. "You're up."

Ren squinted, the wheels in his head in desperate need of oil to work properly. He felt more out of sorts than he'd been in any other time he could recall, floundering in confusion. Instead of making any remark to the woman, he twisted oddly to the side and spotted a cool, inviting glass of water sitting on a side table.

Suddenly he remembered how thirsty he was.

He put his hands flat to the mattress at his sides and attempted to lever himself to a sitting position. Immediately and without any express request on Ren's part, Tsukiko was at his side, her sure hands gently guiding him up. She eased the glass into his hand and waited for his grip to become steady before letting go. Her presence did not abandon him entirely though, and while she did not hold the glass, she kept her hand floating protectively beneath it in case he should falter. When he took in what little water he could down a throat that was out of practice, the woman retrieved the glass and carefully replaced it to the table.

As he let the water slip its way slowly to his stomach, Ren decided to take a better look at his companion. She was perfect and pristine and dressed all in white. 'Of course, she's a nurse,' Ren thought to himself. He had known many of them in his short lifetime - always kind, always helpful, but ultimately nothing more than a transitory intruder in his life. It disappointed him every time.

The water sloshed down into his empty belly and made him slightly nauseous.

The woman's smile turned sweeter. "How are you feeling, better?"

Ren nodded dumbly, not able to trust his voice.

"It will be a little while before you're able to function normally," the nurse told him. "Not too long I suspect, given your history, but don't try to rush things."

Ren looked away.

He could hear the woman shuffle anxiously in her seat. "Do you remember what happened?"

The boy paused a moment as if thinking, then shook his head.

"Ren," Tsukiko said patiently. "Look at me please."

The "please" was unnecessary. At the mention of his name, Ren whipped his head around violently. His mouth worked uselessly like a fish out of water and his eyebrows squeezed together, making a deep crease over the bridge of his nose.

Tsukiko inclined her head curiously at his behavior but in true professional fashion, she forged ahead as though nothing unusual had happened. "There was a fire," she explained carefully. "Do you remember that?"

Ren's whole face pulled into its center and his eyes rolled up in thought. He lowered his lids and took in long drags of air, releasing them slowly and unwillingly let the memory roll up from the back of his mind. The snap and crackle of flames that had long haunted his dreams crept to the forefront his consciousness. His mind went red and yellow, white and orange. A sweat broke out all over his skin. Within his mind, he opened his eyes and saw in the burning background a shadow slowly being devoured by fire.

Immediately, he opened his eyes so he wouldn't have to see what his mind already remembered.

Tsukiko looked at him with heartfelt and experienced empathy. Her eyes softened as she said, "You've been in a coma for a little over a month. And you sustained some minor injuries from the fire, but those have already healed for the most part." She drew out the last word, expecting him to comment, but when he didn't, she went on. "They have, however, left scars."

Automatically, Ren's hand returned to his face, but Tsukiko quickly grabbed it and lowered his arm back down. The damage had already been done though, as Ren finally registered the scar tissue on his arms. As he looked down at the mottled, melted pattern, his expression remained flat. Tsukiko rubbed a comforting hand over his shoulder.

Ren turned his golden eyes to the nurse and with a shift of the pupils only, told her he wanted a to see himself. That he needed to see himself. Tsukiko held his gaze a moment, debated, and then nodded. As though she knew he would ask for it, and she probably did, she reached beneath the end table and pulled out a mirror. Mechanically, Ren took it and studied his reflection as he turned his head to the side to get a better look. Then he dropped the mirror to his lap, seemingly unaffected as if he had seen no difference. The woman tightened her lips in worry, biting slightly on the lower one.

"Ren?" She ventured with concern. "Are you all right?" It was a stupid question. She knew that of course he was not all right, but his complete lack of response was far more troubling than if he'd had an outburst.

The boy dropped his eyes to his lap and coughed dryly. "Why?" he rasped out.

"What?"

The teen lifted his gaze to stare directly at Tsukiko. With a minutely stronger voice, he asked, "Why do you know my name?"

A quick blink was the only evidence Tsukiko gave that this inquiry surprised her. Then she smiled mildly at him, her mouth barely curving upward at the edges. "It's on your chart," she explained and Ren blushed. "Although I did know you once, a long time ago. But I guess that you don't remember." She pitched it like a question and her only response was a turn down of Ren's lips. "Well, you did something for me whether you know it or not, and I don't easily forget such things. You need not know what I mean, only understand that I am not crazy and mean you no harm. And allow me to introduce myself again. My name is Tsukiko." She held out a delicate hand, smooth and white. "I am very happy to meet you, Ren."

The name tumbled around in his head - Tsukiko, Tsukiko, Tsukiko - as it sought recognition, but it only bounced against walls. He looked at the proffered hand blankly before taking it into his own. He did not bother to introduce himself since she already knew his name.

After a moment, Tsukiko reluctantly let go. His response was one she had put into her list of possibilities, but in her heart of hearts, she had never truly believed that it would be the one she'd receive. Her eyes roamed over his face, trying to read him like a book, only to discover she no longer knew the title. She took in a deep breath. "So, you don't know Rai at all either, do you?"

The reaction was instantaneous. Ren almost jerked from his seat, lunging at her, but when she blinked she found that it was only an illusion. Ren had in fact barely moved at all but the contraction of his aura, as it were, was so intense that it felt as though he had hurtled through the air straight at her.

His voice, however, was calm and small when he spoke. "You know Rai?"

Tsukiko nodded slowly. "Yes. Just as I know you."

For a long, weightless minute, Ren stared at her. Then with a short, slight intake of breath, he turned away. Tsukiko could see the working of his throat when he swallowed.

"Did he come?"

The nurse smiled sadly to herself. "No," she told him with regret. "You had only two visitors. A blonde girl. And another, with black hair and green eyes."

Still not facing the woman, Ren nodded acknowledgement. Chiaki, of course, and Kei. Kei. His He felt his gut clench with guilt. Poor loyal, kind Kei. He'd have to tell her, but tell her what? That he was going to leave her if not for the . . . accident? He couldn't say that. Even if it was true.

That part he remembered clear as a bell: the last heavenly moments with Rai before everything crashed down, a feeling he knew he ought never to trust. But even as his guilt assaulted him anew, his anxiety and disappointment over Rai - he had never come - also churned away.

"But I heard," he halted to clear his throat mid-sentence. "You were talking about him."

"Yes," Tsukiko answered warily. "But that was several days ago."

Rai gazed at the window, its blinds shut to protect the world from him. "Then why hasn't he come?"

"A lot has happened," the nurse tried to explain vaguely, though there was more to it than that. It was a tricky, risky situation that could land them all in trouble if not played right. "Ren," she said, edging nearer to place her hand on his arm and draw his attention. "The hospital will send you home soon." Ren turned to her, confusion clouding his eyes. "Do you have anywhere to go?"

What a deceptively simple question. His amber eyes lost focus for a second. Then he mumbled, "Home?"

Tsukiko's face grew uncertain even as her grip on Ren's arm tensed. "Oh my. No, of course you wouldn't know. I'm sorry. I should have explained first. But your apartment, most of the building in fact, was destroyed in that fire. You can't go back there." She titled her head in sympathy. "I am sorry."

The boy looked at her long enough to believe her then dropped his gaze to his lap, remarking her perfect white hand on his pink and tan mangled arm. He had nothing to say and didn't know how to handle her apology. It wasn't her fault and she had no reason to be sorry.

He wasn't.

"Do you have any place to go?" Tsukiko repeated.

Ren thought about it. He had so many options - Chiaki, Kusunoki-san, Rai - that weren't really options at all. Besides, he could make no decisions until he settled his mother first; he had to take care of her or no one else would.

But then fear, red and black and scorching trailed down his spine to boil in his stomach, now a blender for his mixed, tumultuous emotions.

A face appeared. And a match and a phone. A smell strong and sharp. A shadow behind flames.

The fear gnawed and clawed and bit and scratched and Ren squeezed his eyes shut. Fiercely, he bit the inside of his cheek and pulled his eyes open and forced himself to look straight into Tsukiko's eyes.

"Where," he said slowly in a small voice that wasn't his own, "is my mother?"

The irises of Tsukiko's eyes grew deep and wide like bowls filling with water. Her hands, pleasantly cool, went to his face and cradled his chin firmly but gently with the tips of fingers. She looked at the boy with a tender intensity as she spoke.

"Ren." She swallowed silently. "I cannot tell you how sorry I am. But the fire . . . took your mother. She is gone." The nurse searched her patient's eyes for any sign of recognition. For a long time, there was none, but that wasn't unusual. So Tsukiko just held the boy's face in her hands and waited.

Ren did not know how to feel.

Or to be more truthful, he knew precisely how he felt and it was repugnant. His mother was gone. He had failed her. He was a terrible son and now there was proof for the whole world to see. And he had known she was gone, long before Tsukiko told him. For a few blissful minutes his mind allowed him to forget and granted him the peace he so desperately needed.

But now there was no more running away.

There was no pretending he wasn't a failure.

He looked into the eyes of the woman across from him and snapped to reality.

She was touching him.

With a violent thrust, he pushed her hands away. But he was in no way fully recovered and the attempt was clumsy and inept.

Even with his rejection of her, the woman had kind, warm, understanding eyes. They were similar to those of Rai's mother. They were the eyes of what Ren thought a mother's should be.

His own eyes began to tear up until he was swimming in his sorrow, drowning. He fought it off as long as he could, but when he was forced to blink, the water was pushed out, carving two long trails into his cheeks. His ribcage started to spasm with half-restrained sobs, bottomless and harsh as they escaped the long line of his miserable history.

Tsukiko reached for him again, and again the boy tried to fend her off. But he was weak and she knew better and eventually prevailed, maneuvering onto the bed and laying his head on her shoulder. Just for now, because nothing mattered anymore, Ren let her. She calmly ran her hand up and down his arm and rocked the two of them together, just slightly.

Just like a mother.

"Shh," she whispered. "It will be all right. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but it will be all right." She threaded her thin fingers through his hair over and over again like a lullaby. "It's always difficult to lose someone."

Ren shook his head vehemently against her embrace because that wasn't why he was crying.

He was crying because deep down, in the darkest parts of himself, this is what he secretly wished for all along.

--

Rai discovered, as he looked at the mountains of books piled up all around him, that he didn't mind work. It kept him busy and kept his mind off of other, more troubling things.

Like Kei.

Or the fact that his constant snooping and eavesdropping around the hospital had yet to yield any results. That one receptionist was starting to give him the evil eye. A few more encounters with that woman while he tried to investigate would spell a personal security escort for him.

But now was not the time to worry over those things. He had a thousand books to record and sort and shelve and that was plenty. Chiaki had confidence in him and Ren and he were linked by destiny. He had to let that conduct him over his fears. Despite everything that was going on, he smiled to himself.

Rai chose to take it as a good omen that the bookstore that he'd shopped for Ren's gift was the same one that ultimately hired him. He'd have ample opportunity to find the perfect thing now, just as soon as he found him. He was certain that it would be any day now; he could feel it in his bones. All he needed was one more day.

Rai found optimistic thoughts really did help his outlook.

It was silly.

It was all he had.

If he didn't hold onto those thoughts, the fears and anxiety would crush him.

He was stacking the sorted reference books onto a dolly to be loaded out when his new boss called for him.

"Rai!" The man yelled genially into the backroom. "You have a phone call."

Wearily, Rai deposited the books in his hand to the dolly and went to retrieve his call. It was probably Nana who, in the absence of seeing him every day at school, had taken to "mother-hen"-ing him. He grinned and shook his head. He began to get a new understanding for what Rei went through.

The older man attending to the cash register gestured with his chin towards the phone. "Sounded important."

Rai gave him an appreciative smile. Nana had developed the tendency to treat everything as if it was a dire emergency.

"Rai speaking," the teen said into the phone, expecting some tart remark from his closest friend.

It wasn't Nana.

All his optimistic thoughts were for naught as he got whiplash from a totally unexpected side.

The store manager watched with growing concern as Rai's knuckles gripped the receiver so tight that the plastic should've broken and his normally pale face paled further until he was nearly as white as a ghost.