Title: Icha Icha Pan

Pairing: KuroyanagixShigeru

Rating: M/NC-17

Disclaimer: Not my charas... We fanfiction writers just make 'em do stuff... yeah, stuff...

A/N: Hullo… this piece of smut has been rotting in my head for a while, so must get it on paper before it completely disappears. This… this "plot"… IT MUST BE DONE, I HAVE TO DO IT. I really felt like a chem nerd writing this, it's probably all wrong and I'll fail my organic chemistry midterm but eh… here's a fic from my deranged mind at 5am. Please read and review! I will love you! Or maybe write more smut. You choose.

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- Icha Icha Pan -

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Perfection. That was what Kanmuri Shigeru saw as he held a 50mL Erlenmeyer flask in the florescent light of his laboratory. It was colorless, tasteless, and odorless. The concoction was perfect - in theory anyway.

A client had requested a bread product that would entice a person, maximize the person's libido, and want... for well, sex. In other words, an aphrodisiac bread. In the beginning, Shigeru was incredulous at the idea - first of all, why use bread for a purpose like that? Secondly, it sounded like a request for a love potion from a lovelorn individual whose attempts of "getting any" weren't doing it, so to speak.

But it was purely the idea of creating a love potion of sorts that pulled him into doing it. His inquisitive mind for all the possibilities always got the better of him. Well, of course, the client's fat check played a factor, too. And also, the idea of selling the love-laced bread to high school girls seemed like it would profit.

He had spent many hours scouring through countless sources for information on the most potent aphrodisiacs, running into dead ends in alchemic potions of the past and being bombarded by Viagra ads from the Internet upon searching for his subject. He was irritated by many of the findings; most aphrodisiac foods only aroused people purely for the fact of resembling genitalia. And there was no way he was making any vagina or penis shaped breads.

Eventually, he managed to extract samples of theobromine and yohimbine, from chocolate and the yohimbe tree that's found in Africa, respectively. These two chemicals were known aphrodisiacs, but are not very effective in low doses. Nevertheless, Shigeru being the genius that he is, made them highly potent in nontoxic doses.

And that was what he was holding at the moment, a purified and treated extract of the substances combined. No placebo effect here - it was chemistry at its best. Shigeru felt himself flush with nerdish glee and cleared his throat. It won't do to be too boastful of his achievements.

Eager to test out his results, he sanitized his workplace, changed gloves, and set off to bake bread with his new secret ingredient, still dressed his stark white lab coat and protective goggles.

About an hour later, the fragrance of fresh dinner bread permeated the air. Perfection, the back of Shigeru's mind stated, as he removed the rectangular shape from the oven. As he sliced the bread into even divisions, he felt his face grow warm. He almost dropped the serrated knife when he realized why. He did not take into account of the affects of being exposed to high concentrations of the fumes and berated himself. He set the knife down and walked across the room to open the windows and to the sink to splash his face with cold water.

As he dried his calmed face with a paper towel, he realized he needed a test subject. In proper science experiments, humans are to NEVER be the guinea pigs at this stage. But not in this case - he knew what it would do to a person but he just needed to confirm it. No need to take the long way and watch mice go through mating rituals for the billionth time.

Who to be his guinea pig? Shigeru pondered. To be safe, he would need a controlled environment so that nothing would get too extreme or out of hand. A controlled environment would mean two rooms, preferably separated by a one-way mirror-

"SHIGERU!" bellowed a voice.

"Se-Senpai!" Shigeru was startled out of his thoughts by the slamming open of his lab door.

"I knew you'd be here," Kuroyanagi looked annoyed as usual, "Matsushiro-san wanted to see you."

"Hai..." Shigeru watched the man turn to leave, slightly breathless from the scare.

Then Kuroyanagi swiveled, turning straight toward the freshly-baked bread, slightly intrigued, "Dinner bread, Shigeru?"

Shigeru nodded, watching the older man approach his creation. "Isn't that a little boring for you?"

The dark-haired chemist-baker-food critic took a slice and held it up to eye level, "Even though it is close to perfection each time, of course."

"And seeing that there is no added ingredient that is unsafe for consumption, ittadakima-su!" The bread was already in his mouth as he stretched the last syllable of the pre-meal saying. At the same time, Shigeru yelled in surprise, "Don't!"

The light-haired scientist slapped his forehead at the idiocy of his glutton of an elder. His product was TOO perfect. Even senpai was unable to detect the extra ingredient. "However," Shigeru thought, "Now I don't have to look for a test subject." He brought his hand slowly away; eyes trained on Kuroyanagi for any reaction.

Reaction. His mind did another double-take. Fuck. His genius mind took its time and decided that NOW was the time to remind him of Kuroyanagi's super sensitivity to anything fed to him...

Shigeru made a run for it.

But the taller man made it to the door first.

Said man was flushed and emanated lust. And he was shirtless. Shigeru could cry just about now.

Like a predator stalking its prey, Kuroyanagi backed Shigeru into the lab bench and growled, forest green eyes smothered with heat, "This has to be the most unusual reaction I've had with dinner bread."

Shigeru laughed nervously, "Ha ha ha... Imagine that."

Not caring for Shigeru's response, Kuroyanagi hoisted his kouhai onto the dark table, his hips pushing the latter's legs open.

Lying on the table with his pink locks mussed under his head, he felt himself grow breathless. The idea of doing something like this in his lab, on his work bench where his calculations come to life, was exhilarating. He shifted a bit and saw to his left, his bread, still emanating its scentless drug. At this point, his mind laughed at him for wanting a controlled environment. Silly Shigeru.

Interrupting his slightly delirious mind, Kuroyanagi pressed his naked torso against Shigeru and languidly licked at his neck, nibbling at the sensitive vein where heated blood now rushed. While doing this, his hands were busy taking Shigeru's shoes and shorts off. He spares no wasted time in this state, Shigeru noted, lifting his hips to assist him.

Shigeru moaned as his naked erection rubbed against a clothed one. He was breathless and hot, hands clasping together in his senpai's black hair, and hips arching for more sensation. "Se-senpai... take your... pants... off... ah.. ha..."

More than willing to oblige this panted request, Kuroyanagi fumbled with his belt and dropped his pants with a clang of the buckle hitting the floor. "Aahn!" Neither knew who let out a shuddered gasp as naked skin met with naked skin.

A rough rhythm picked up between the two, cocks rubbing between them, against each other and their stomachs. Soon, both their cocks were dribbling with precum, making everything slicker and much more enjoyable.

Kuroyanagi continued placing light kisses on Shigeru's neck between thrusts, eventually reaching his soft lips. The younger chemist was panting erratically, allowing the other to explore his mouth freely, tongues meeting and massaging, lips licking, nibbling, and sucking.

"Sen... pai... I..." Shigeru groaned, he was close, "I need.. more..."

This stilled Kuroyanagi for a moment, "You mean..."

Shigeru let out a shuddering laugh, "We've done this... at Harvard."

Kuroyanagi blushed harder, if that were possible, "You said you wouldn't talk about that." And if it were not for him getting off and pushing the younger boy's legs up, Shigeru probably would've laughed again.

Lavender eyes caught a seductive glint in moss green irises as they disappeared from view and his entire body jolted as he felt a warm and slippery sensation against his sensitive opening.

"Aah.. ah!" Shigeru let out small, delicious sounds of whimpering as Kuroyanagi ran his wet tongue along the bunched group of muscles, teasing him close to climax.

Perspiration beaded along Shigeru's temples from holding back release - he knew there was to be more than this… And there it was.

He felt Kuroyanagi's tongue leave for a moment, then have it replaced by saliva slicked fingers, one at first, then two, easing slowly in and out. It felt strange but entirely enjoyable, and Shigeru relaxed against the intrusion, brows furrowing in concentration.

Kuroyanagi stretched and prepared Shigeru's opening until it was relaxed enough, then he replaced his fingers, with once again, something else, this time much thicker and much warmer.

Shigeru groaned in pain and pleasure, as the head of Kuroyanagi's cock entered, meeting with a bit of resistance. Painfully slow for both parties, Kuroyanagi eased his way in, pushing in and pulling a fraction out, all the while willing himself to not come from the tight heat. With a harder final thrust, he was in all the way.

The two stayed in that position and panted until Shigeru sobbed out, "Mo..ve.."

And it was heaven when they did. Kuroyanagi pulled out an inch and thrust back in, successfully targeting and rubbing against Shigeru's prostate, driving him crazy with each hit. Shigeru dragged his hand against his own throbbing cock and realized that he was still wearing latex gloves.

He would've laughed, but the gloves added a favorable friction and all he could do was groan to the added pleasure, stroking in time with each thrust from within.

They were close, very close, and their pace grew frantic. Shigeru came first, from the dual stimulation, wordless save one, "R..you..." White spurts of warm fluid shot free, spattering onto his lab coat and face. It was then he realized the hilarity of the term "protective goggles".

The sight was what drove Kuroyanagi off the edge. There he was, his beloved kouhai, covered in streams of white, his GOGGLES splattered with the milky substance, then finally to hear him utter his name upon release.

"Aaah!" He half-shouted, half-gasped, as he felt himself reach his peak and explode. Shigeru moaned and arched, feeling himself filling with warm liquid.

Legs weak, Kuroyanagi collapsed onto Shigeru, panting. They stayed like that, catching their breaths until Shigeru sat up, still slightly dazed and said, "I think... I need to dilute the concentration a bit."

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- Omake -

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Shigeru: Senpai and I were thinking that we should market this as RABU RABU PAN.

Tsukino: Love… love bread? You and Ku-kuroyanagi-san thought so?

Shigeru: Yes it was quite effective. Actually, we were thinking more along the lines of ICHA ICHA PAN.

Kuroyanagi: LIES!