A/N: Out of sheer boredom, I, DarkTigerGirl, have decided to make a new fanfic. And I'm sticking to my usual pairing. WHY YOU ASK? Because I can! So ha!
Warnings: Delusions, arguments, strong language, and medication.
Entry # 1
Journal Entry # 1- June 14: My therapist suggested that I start using a journal to, you know, keep my thoughts in. I think its kinda girly, not to mention stupid. But, she did say that it was also for mentoring my condition. So now I HAVE to write in the damn thing. So, I guess I have to write about how the day went. Not much to say. Envy was being his annoying self. My mom says it's just 'brotherly love'. Yeah, brotherly love my ass. Just because he's been in this house longer then I have, doesn't mean he's the fucking alpha male. Fucking bastard. Well seeing that it's already 7 o'clock, I have to get ready for dinner. Maybe I'll write more tomorrow.
Edward walked down the stairs, long golden bangs overshadowing his face somewhat. Once he had made it to the dining room, neither of his parents said anything. Then again, they never really said much to after they found out there son was mentally unstable. The only one who didn't change all that much was Envy. He was still his usual annoying self, but he had toned it down a little after getting a death threat from Edward, and then realizing that he just might actually go threw with it. Everyone was still silent as Edward pulled out his chair from the table and sat down. He scooted in a little, so that there wasn't too much of a gap between the table and him. He picked up his fork and began to mix some of his peas with his mashed potatoes. Trisha was the first one to break the silence.
"So, how was your last day of school sweetie?"
The blonde looked up momentarily at his mother. She was pretty; long coffee brown hair and soft deep blue eyes.
"…Boring and uneventful."
"Did you have any…episodes?"
Edward shook his head. He hated when he was asked that question.
"That's good. What about you Envy? How was your day?"
Envy downed another piece of chicken before he spoke.
"Roy was being an asshole again, lunch sucked, and oh, everyone is leaving for the summer. This is going to be such a bitchen summer."
"Watch your mouth." There father commanded.
Hohenheim was somewhat of a stern man, who was the one that Edward mostly resembled. Edward didn't talk to his father much. Since he was the one that had suggested that they put him in therapy. Trisha, on the other hand, was afraid that they might actually make the problem worse.
"Maybe they left to get away from you." Edward mumbled.
"What was that you psychotic freak?"
"You heard me you fucking prick."
"Envy! Edward! Cut it out!" There mother pleaded.
"You should jack his ass up with more medication, maybe then he could learn a few goddamn manners!"
"At lest I know who the fuck my real parents are!"
"Oh but wait, isn't it true that their real son turned out to be a fucking lunatic!"
"Fucking bastard child!"
Envy pushed himself from the table and stormed off. Both Trisha and Hohenheim looked towards Edward, who gave them 'I'm not apologizing to that bastard' look. Edward let out aggravated sigh and left the table.
Edward went threw the medicine cabinet, looking for his medication. He pulled out six bottles, each of them for the same condition. He open then and pulled out one pill from five of them, and two from the last one. The blonde popped them in his mouth and swallowed hard. He placed the bottles back and closed the cabinet. It wasn't until Edward turned around that he found he was being watched.
"What do you want?"
"I'm making sure you're taking all of your meds."
Envy walked over to his younger brother and opened the cabinet once again. Reaching in, he pulled out another bottle and waved it in his face.
"You missed one."
Edward snatched the bottle from Envy and opened it. He popped the last pill in his mouth and swallowed it. Envy sighed.
"Look, I know how much you hate taking these things, but they'll make you better."
"I've been taking these pills for three years, and I don't feel any 'better'."
Envy shrugged. Edward just walked pass him. He had already had his fair share of people telling him what was going to 'help him' or 'make him feel better'. He was getting rather fed up with it.
"Hay Ed, if 'he' comes back tonight, you can always come into my room, okay?"
The blonde didn't turn around, but he nodded.
That nigh was no different from the others. One of the side-effects of taking so many pills was insomnia. Edward had gotten use to it at this point, so he usually did something productive. But, tonight there was nothing to do. He just lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. While he was gazing up at the cracks that had started to form, something was telling him that he should sit up. Edward ignored this feeling until he couldn't stand it anymore, knowing full well that he would regret it. And he did. There, sitting on his bed was a blonde haired teen. His eyes goldenwere completely dead. They showed no emotion whatsoever.
"Go away."
"I just wanted to talk to you Edward."
"I don't wanna talk to you."
"I though we were friends?" He said in a hurt voice.
Edward clapped his hands over his ears and closed his eyes.
"Shut up!"
"But I wanna ask you something Edward."
"I said go away! Leave me alone!"
Edward was about to have a break-down. He didn't want to listen to him. Edward had at one time and it nearly cost him everything.
"Just leave me alone."
"Ed?"
He opened his eyes to find that the teen was gone. Looking towards the doorway, he found Envy with a conceded look on his face.
"He came back didn't he?"
Edward nodded. Envy walked over and took Edward by the hand.
"Come on."
So, both of the brothers made there way back to the eldest room. Once there, Edward climbed into the sins bed; Envy followed soon after. They faced away from one another, so both of them would feel comfortable.
"Envy?"
"Wha?"
"Will Pride ever go away completely? Will I ever be sane?"
"…I don't know Ed. I really don't know."
A/N: There you have it! Now, tell me if I should continue or not!