A/N- This was written a LONG time ago, in 2001 or so, but I just found the time to translate it into English. I don't know how good it is, or how relevant, since the X Files are not on for years, but I just felt like translating it anyway, mostly for practice. Reviews are most welcome anyway!
Spoilers- this one takes place right after Existence. Nothing crucial, only slight references for stuff from previous chapters in previous seasons. I think it just makes more sense if you have watched it all, though.
Disclaimer- it was a long time ago, but they still belong to Mr. Chris Carter, not to me.
The Point Of No Return
He was the first to pull away from their kiss. He looked at her. He knew she was exhausted. She refused to stay in the hospital more than it was needed, and all she did from the moment she came back home was making sure that the baby was okay.
"You should get some rest," he said gently.
Scully slowly nodded, then looked hesitantly at William, who looked safe and comfortable in the bundle of blankets Mulder held between the two of them. "You're right," she said, but didn't sound as if she meant it. She laughed softly. "I just can't… can't let him go. I feel like I have to keep checking that he's okay, that he's real, that he's mine-"
"He's perfect," he assured her, his voice not higher than a whisper. "He's real, and he's ours." He smiled as his own words sank in. William was theirs, he suddenly realized. And he was more important than any truth they ever tried to uncover. More than that, he was the truth. Scully returned his smile, as if she could read what was on his mind. "Go to sleep," he repeated, touching her cheek with his thumb.
She still looked hesitant, but eventually she nodded. "Wake me up if you'll need me."
"Sure," he smiled. He left her bedroom and stepped into the living room, where he laid William in his crib. He slipped out of his jacket, leaving in on the back of the couch, and walked back into the bedroom. A single lamp by the bedside was spreading soft, dim light. Scully was just pulling the covers around her as her head snapped up and she noticed him.
"I need you to do something for me," she asked.
He nodded, slowly moving closer and sitting at the edge of her bed. "Sure, anything," he said quietly, tucking the blankets carefully around her.
"Will you call my mom? She was at my brother's; she doesn't know anything about what happened… or about William. Tell her we're okay, that she has nothing to worry about," her voice became weaker and huskier as she was slipping deeper into slumber.
"Okay. I'll call her. Go to sleep now, Dana," he whispered, slowly caressing her face until he made sure she was fast asleep. He sat there for a moment longer, just listening to her steady breath, then he turned off the lamp and left the room.
He slipped out of his shoes as he walked into the living room, and took the baby out of his crib again. He had the sweetest scent, of soap and baby powder and God knew what else, he thought, holding the baby closer. He was wearing a tiny flannel pajama, bright blue with a spaceship in its center, that Mulder bought several weeks back. He remembered Scully's reaction when she first opened that bag. She saw that pajama and burst out laughing. Like father, like son, isn't it, Spooky? She smirked. It was her favorite pajama.
He stared at the baby, fascinated. Yeah, he was all Scully. And he was perfect, and healthy, and normal, and that was the most important thing. All those months of worry and anxiety were finally over. He was so afraid for the baby's future, for Scully's future, if it all turned out differently, and he was so relieved as he looked at the baby for the first time. No little green men, but 20 fingers, thin red hair, bluish-gray eyes. Thank God. He was beautiful.
He picked up the phone and dialed Margaret Scully's number as he laid the baby back in his crib.
"Hello?"
He smiled as he heard her soft voice from the other end. In the passing years, she became a second mother for him, especially after he had lost his own mother. He was always in awe for her strength, her devotion, her never-ending love for everyone, including himself. She was the only one who called him by his first name. Usually, people knew better than do that, but when she called him that the first time he met her, he didn't have the heart to correct her. There was just something about her that made her so irresistible in his eyes; this sweetness that made him want to hug her every time he met her, and never let go. She was so much like Dana, yet so unlike her at the same time. He suspected that deep down, Dana was just like her mother, but she had never let herself expose this softer side of her personality, a side that he had no doubt existed somewhere within her. She always held that discouraging reputation of an emotionless ice-queen, but the truth was that even Dr. Dana Scully could burst into uncontrollable fit of giggles if she heard a really good joke, or flash him that amazing smile of hers, that rare smile that had the ability to confuse everyone who encountered it and made even Skinner soften, no matter how furious he was on both of them.
"Hello?" Margaret's voice shook him out of his reverie.
"Mrs. Scully, hi, it's Fox Mulder." He spoke quietly so that his voice wouldn't wake William, or Scully in the other room.
"Fox? Hi, is everything alright?" she asked, clearly concerned. He smiled. She always made him feel like he was 12, and he had no idea why.
"Am I interrupting you?"
"No, of course not. I was unpacking, I just got back from San Diego. Is there anything I can help you with?"
"I-" he hesitated. He wasn't sure how to start. "Dana asked me to call you."
"Dana? What's wrong? Is she okay?" she asked, the panic now back in her voice.
"She's fine. She… she had the baby two days ago."
"She- what? Oh my God, why didn't you call me?"
"She and the baby were in danger, so we had to move her away from the city. She's okay though, so don't worry." Although it was behind them now, he still preferred not to discuss it on the phone. Who knew who was listening.
"And the baby?" He could tell she was scared.
"He's fine," he assured her.
"He?"
"Yeah. His name is William." She gasped. He thought he heard her cry, but he wasn't sure.
"Thank God. Where are you now? What hospital-"
"Dana refused to stay in the hospital. We took her back home. I'm calling from her place."
"Can I talk to her?"
"She's asleep. She was exhausted. I'm watching the baby."
"I'll be there in half an hour," she said, her voice determined.
"Yeah, sure, okay."
"Thanks for calling, Fox."
"No problem. I'll see you soon." He dropped the phone on the couch and turned to look at William again. It was just like Scully said before, he suddenly realized. He couldn't let him go. He took the baby out of his crib and leaned back on the couch with him in his arms. Closing his eyes, he waited for Margaret Scully to get there.
His eyes snapped open when a knock came at the door. William was asleep in his lap, his tiny hands close to his face. The noise didn't seem to bother him.
Expected enough, Margaret Scully was standing on the doorway. She was about to say something as he opened the door for her, when she suddenly noticed the baby, wrapped in the blankets he held against his chest.
"Oh my God," she whispered, her eyes filling with tears.
He smiled sleepily. "Shh… you'll wake him," he whispered back. "Come in."
She followed him inside. "Is he okay?"
He nodded. "Fine. He's perfect."
"I knew it would be a boy," she smiled in spite of her tears. "It is so silly to cry, now that we know he's okay."
"It's not… it's okay. Here, hold him," he said, gently handing her the baby. He watched her amazed expression as she held the baby, who then opened his eyes and looked at her curiously. "See? He's got Dana's eyes," he said, leading her to the couch. Once they were seated, he caressed William's head softly. "Hey little guy, say hi to your grandma."
"He's beautiful," said Margaret, as if she had to confirm it. "Thank God. I was so worried."
"We all were."
"I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you did for Dana in the past couple of months." He nodded. She shouldn't have said anything. Of course he knew. Then she looked at him hesitantly. "There is something I must ask, but I don't want you to get hurt or offended by my question."
He had a feeling he knew what she was about to ask. He could see it in her eyes. "Okay."
"Are you his father?" It wasn't really a question. It was more as if she knew the answer, and just wanted him to say it aloud. Well, the truth had to come out sooner or later. He nodded. "Why didn't you tell me? Why did you keep it a secret?"
"I guess… we never expected this. At first we kept it a secret because we knew they'd use it against us. And this," he said, looking at William, "just happened. I can't explain it. I've never believed it was possible, neither did Dana. I still don't understand how… or why… but this is the truth. And yes, I am his father. And now I'm afraid they might use him against us as well."
"In other words," she said slowly. "Those people who took Dana away, who took you, who put both your lives in danger so many times-"
"They're still there," he completed her thought. Sudden chill ran through him. he shivered involuntarily.
"So you have no way to defend yourselves, or William," she rationalized. "And if this is the case, it's just the beginning. And you're right that they'll use him against you. How can you be sure that he'll be safe then? That you'll be safe?"
"I can't," he hated to admit it, but this was the truth. No matter how much he'd tried to tell himself otherwise. He wished he could just forget about the future for one day only, and just enjoy this moment they all feared from for so long. But then he forced himself to face reality again. There was no time to waste.
"Exactly," she said sadly. "You can't, and neither can Dana. Your life was a nightmare in the past 8 years. Is that really what you want for William?"
He hesitated, then slowly answered, "I want to believe we can protect him." What was left but believing it? It was the point of no return. It was impossible to turn back time. The baby was born, and now they had to figure out a way to keep him safe. To keep the three of them safe.
"But what if you can't?" The question remained hung in the air unanswered, accompanied by uncomfortable silence, that was interrupted by William sudden cry. "Shh… that's okay, sweetheart," murmured Mrs. Scully, slowly rocking the baby in her arms.
Mulder stood up. "I'll go and wake Dana."
"No. Let me do that," she asked. He didn't argue. He assumed she needed some time alone with her daughter. He nodded, and watched her as she disappeared down the hall, with William in her arms. Sitting back on the couch, he thought about what they were just talking about. Hoping that everything would be okay from now on was a nice illusion, but it was far from reality. And this new problem they were facing seemed to be the worse they ever encountered with. Mrs. Scully's voice echoed mercilessly through his mind. Is that really what you want for William? God knew he didn't want this kind of life for his son. He didn't want this kind of life for himself, but it was too late to back away from it now. Yet, he was tired from this never-ending search for the truth, from lies, from dead-ends. It always felt as if it got him nowhere. He just wanted everyone to let him be, to let him and Scully living their lives.
But they wouldn't. He knew that. Yet he also knew he couldn't let them hurt William.
But what the hell could he do to prevent them from hurting him?