CHAPTER FIFTEEN

She wouldn't cry—it would be so stupid! But she does want to crawl into darkness, away from everyone, and forget. Forget everything else but--

"Chicken?"

A voice asked teasingly from behind her but she didn't turn.

"No."

"Then why aren't you in there with the Admiral?" he said and came to stand next to her, his eyes searched her face. It was pale and strained. "He would never stop you—"

"I don't know, Daniel," she answered truthfully and cutting him off.

She turned now and faced him, staring into his eyes, reading his mood. Her hands were shaking but she drew a deep breath and forced herself to steady. "It could all be a bunch of crap. I'm afraid to hope. Fifteen years is such a long time, a life time…"

His hands automatically framed her face. "There is nothing to fear, Claudia. No matter what happens, we'll face it together. You never have to be alone again. I love you."

"I know," she said and without a word went into his arms, letting him hold her, absorbing his special warmth into her cold bones.

Oh Roy…

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"Damn it! How long is Gloval going to keep us locked up?" Roy said impatiently to no one in particular and got up from the table. He walked to the wall opposite of everyone and leaned against it, his head down.

"You think it's true?" Lisa asked, fighting for the calm she swore she wouldn't loose as she gazed down into the coffee in her cup.

"Yes." Rick leaned wearily back in his chair. "I wish it wasn't but when have you ever known Breetai to be wrong? Or for that matter, Captain-- I mean, Admiral Gloval?"

"I'm a solider. I'd give my life without hesitation for any of my men but how do you prepare for something like this?" Looking up and at Roy instead of Rick, Lisa felt the familiar rush of sadness that seemed to fill the world. "What are we going to do?"

"Whatever it is, Lisa, we'll make it," Rick said and reached over to hold her hand. "We beat the impossible. We survived didn't we? And we even converted half the Zentraedi force to our side…"

"No," she whispered closed to tears now as her eyes came back to Rick. "What is he going to do, Rick?"

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"Claudia?" he murmured.

She turned and stared at him.

He stared back, stunned.

And without a warning, she slapped his face. Her hand slammed into his cheek with enough force to burn her palm before she slapped him again.

"Liar!" she sobbed. "You're not real! Not real…" and would have slapped him again but he jerked her arms to her side, holding her in place.

"Claudia!" he said sharply. Then his lips pressed into hers. He ate at her mouth, consumed her like there was no tomorrow.

It was good. Just as she'd remembered.

Roy.

"You said it was just a walk in the park," she cried when he ended the kiss and held her. She felt dizzy-- weak-kneed with relief, with bitterness and anger.

"You said you would be back. Too late… too late…" and he stole the words from her again for he could not bear to hear them. He knew if he'd just hold her he could forget everything. He went down upon a knee, drawing her to him. His arms encircled her waist; he held her, squeezing her tightly to him.

She hesitated, her fingers falling on the blond waves of his hair then she quickly pushed him away and moved to put some distance between them.

"I'm married, Roy."

She saw the emotions-- shock, anger, pain, regret-- in his eyes. Her heart twisted as she watched him slowly get up.

"I waited," she said again and raised her head, hardly able to focus on his face. "A lifetime was just too long. It seems I needed more than promises and memories. I…I have a son. His name is Roy. Roy Matthew Sinclair but we call him Robbie."

"I see," was all he could say as he stared at her.

"I love Daniel, Roy. He's a great man, a wonderful father, husband, and we mesh. He's everything I want." She moistened her lips. "While you… you're my past. I'm sorry."

"Baby…"

The endearment weakened her knees. It was as if her very soul had been taken from her. Which was silly, Roy called her sweetheart or baby often. He always had. Yet the effect has never been the same.

"Don't Roy," she cut him off. "Don't call me that anymore. I'm not your baby, your sweetheart or your girl anymore. I haven't been in a long time."

She sent him a smile she hoped wasn't as brittle as she felt.

"Claudia, I never meant to hurt you. You know, I'd always come back to you. It's always you," he said in frustration.

"Look at me! Look at me, Roy," she hissed at him. "I'm old."

"Claudia, damn you, Claudia…I don't care about a few lines under your eyes!" he snarled back and stepped forward to touch her. "I love you!"

Shutting her eyes tightly, she closed out his last three words. Three little words she once would have given anything to hear.

Too late… too late

Shaking her head she moved further away from him as the door to the briefing room swung opened and Daniel Sinclair walked in.

Roy couldn't breathe.

Oh God. It hurt.

It was knifing through his chest, shredding flesh and bone, and he was going to scream with the rage and the pain of it.

Don't touch him!

The words were whipping through his mind as Claudia gripped for Sinclair's hand and when he curved his arm around her back, she leaned into him automatically.

"So, you and, Claudia? A son! Wow… I'd always though you were after Lisa…" was all he could utter out as he stared at them and the pain raging inside of him.

Damn you! Damn you! You son-of-a-bitch!

He had to get away from them.

Before he screamed.

Before he cried.

"Congratulations, I mean, wow…" his voice-- wasn't his voice and he backed away from them. "Looks like the party's over," he said, staring into Claudia's face, aching to the depths of his soul. "Take care of her, man."

He felt the ice building, though he knew it wouldn't last long. It was forming in his veins, covering his flesh, washing through his mind. The shield was a brittle as frost, and just as cold.

"Fokker, wait--" he heard Sinclair said but nothing else for he'd turned and walked out of the room not seeing or hearing any thing.

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"Oh Claudia, he's so adorable!" Lisa said as she stared at the picture of a two-year-old Roy Sinclair. "I'm still in shock. You, a mother and, captain of your own ship! I'm so happy for you. Robbie definitely has Daniel's eyes and his smile."

"I'm sorry that I wasn't there, for the briefing, I mean, but I read part of your report," Claudia said in a low voice, not looking at Lisa at all. "You guys sure had an adventure and Max, falling in love with a Zentraedi! Kind of like Romeo and Juliet," she continued and tried to sound excited but failed.

"Lisa, Daniel saved my sanity. I love him. I do and, Robbie… my baby, gave me hope to live again. He's my miracle…" Claudia furthered said as tears welled in her eyes. "I don't know what I would have done with them. They're my life. They are my world…"

Looking at her friend with compassion, Lisa crossed the distance between them and hugged her, again.

"I still can't believe it that it's you. Really you, Lisa," Claudia said, and tried not to cry again. "I never gave up hope but I never really believed it either… I'm so sorry…I wronged him. He's hurting so much, Lisa, and I don't know how to stop it."

"No more tears, Claudia, okay. And there is nothing now that can be done. What is important is that we're here. We're safe. We're home and that's all that matters."

Gently, Lisa wiped away the single tear that was creating a trail down Claudia's right cheek. "Roy will be okay. He has to. It's not your fault… you didn't' know. Nobody knew...life is for the living. Daniel once told me that…"

"Did I hear my name?"

"Daniel!" Lisa cried and quickly stood up to greet her friend while Claudia quickly wiped the remaining tears away from her face.

Coming quickly into the room, Admiral Daniel Sinclair picked up Lisa and hugged her tightly to him.

"God, it's so good to see you, Lisa!" he exclaimed as he set her down after a couple of minutes. Staring into her face, he smiled and ruffled her hair with affection as she tried to push his hands away.

"You!" a voice boomed from behind them and they turned to see a very angry Rick Hunter.

"Rick? What's gotten into--"

"Sinclair! You scum! Claudia is Roy's girl!" Rick said and moved strait for him.

"Rick!" Claudia quickly ran to him and stood in front of Sinclair and Lisa.

"Don't you defend him, Claudia," Rick yelled. "He took advantage of you. You love Roy. You and Roy…"

"Roy and I… were, Rick," Claudia said and reached out to hold her husband's hand. "Daniel is my husband, now. We have a child. We are a family. I… we, everyone believed Roy and you and Lisa, and everyone in Skull dead. It's been fifteen years, Rick. Fifteen years."

"But--"

"No," Claudia pleaded and began to cry. "You don't understand… you can't… you don't know…please… please… just go."

"Claudia, he stole--"

"Leave. Hunter. Do not make her ask you, again," Sinclair said with deadly calm as he stared at Rick.

"It's exactly what I'd expected from you, Sinclair, hiding behind Claudia--"

"You speak of things you have no understanding of, Hunter. You can hurt me all you want but hurting Claudia, I will not forgive… Lisa, take him out of here now or I will not be responsible for my action."

"Rick--"

"Don't you take his side too, Lisa!" Rick said angrily and turned back to stared at Sinclair.

"Lisa!" Sinclair said again without taking his eyes off Rick.

"Lieutenant Rick Hunter!" Lisa said in her most authoritative voice, "I'm giving you a direct order to leave this room."

"Damned it, Lisa! He screwed Roy over. He's the one you should be ordering to leave. He's the scum! Not me!"

"Now, Hunter! Move it!" Lisa continued as if not hearing his outburst.

Frustrated Rick turned and stalked out of the room without a backward glance.