Blind Date Avatar Style

I decided to write a one-shot in the spirit of Valentine's Day. It's my first one-shot and I'm used to writing stories over a lot of chapters to develop it, so forgive the sheer strangeness of it!

A/N: I know Blind Date, television screens and many other things in this fanfic weren't around in the Avatar time period, but what can you do? This is a parody after all!

Disclaimer - I do not own Valentine's Day, Blind Date or Avatar: The Last Airbender.

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A peppy presenter's voiceover is heard as the lights come up on a lurid pink set, adorned with hundreds of tacky papier-mâché hearts.

"Hello and welcome to a special edition of Blind Date! In the spirit of Valentine's Day we have several people from Avatar: The Last Airbender! They will compete for a place on a date with a eligible bachelor or bachelorette . We will also be hearing back from the two mystery people we sent away together for a week and we will be seeing how their date has turned out.

"Now let's bring on the first group of people. It's your turn for a treat ladies as we have three single men! Let's bring them out!"

Three men walk into the stage waving and smiling and seat themselves awkwardly in the high stools. The presenter's voice is heard again.

"Well hello there boys! Why don't you tell our audience a little something about yourselves. Let's start with contestant number one."

"Hi, I'm Aang and I'm from the Southern Air Temple. I enjoy Airbending and riding on dangerous animals. I hate meat and tyrannical Fire Lords who are trying to destroy the world."

"Thank you Aang. Now contestant number two, tell us a little about you. Ooh I made a rhyme!"

"Hey. I'm Jet and I live in a tree house. My hobbies include beating up Fire Nation soldiers and anyone else who gets in the way. My most distinguishing features would probably be the piece of grass I'm constantly chewing and the two hooked swords I carry."

"Thanks Jet. Now that jut leaves contestant number three!"

"Hello. My name's Sokka and I'm from the Southern Water Tribe. My life at the moment involves constantly running away from a psychotic Prince and trying to stop my sister and the Avatar getting killed or caught."

"Hey Sokka!"

Aang leans forward and waves to Sokka completely ignoring Jet.

"Hey Aang."

"Well there you go, you've met the boys looking for a date, so let's bring out the lucky lady who will make their dream come true!"

On the other side of the screen a girl with long black hair and red painted lips walks out. She has a whip looped in her belt and is dressed in black with a red tattoo on each shoulder.

"Ladies and gentlemen please welcome Jun! Jun is a bounty hunter and her work takes her all over the world. As a result she hasn't had much time to find that special someone to spend time with. "

Jun seats herself on a stool, shielded from the three boys by the screen.

"Well, Jun why don't you ask your first question."

"Whatever you say. Right boys. As you heard before my line of work involves a lot of travelling. My question is this: If you were a mode of transport what would you be? That question goes to contestant number one."

"Well Jun, as an Airbender I'm most at home in the air. I suppose I'd be a glider so I could whisk you away and take you to cloud nine!"

"Right. Contestant number two?"

"Hey. If I were a mode of transport I'd be a stallion."

"And why?"

Jet grins slyly and leans back in his chair.

"Use your imagination baby!"

"Okay. Finally contestant number three."

"Umm… if I were I a mode of transport? I guess I' like to be a ship because then there'd be a kitchen where I could get a snack whenever I wanted.

"Right… Well my second question I this. I've been known to gamble a little. So I want to know, what is the most risky thing you've ever done? If we could start with you contestant number two."

"Well, I suppose the riskiest thing I've ever done is ambushing a Fire Nation camp when I was outnumbered five to one. In case you wanted to know, I won."

"Nice. The same question to contestant number three."

"Well, travelling with the Avatar means I'm constantly taking risks. The biggest risk I've taken would probably have to be actually leaving home with my sister and a twelve year old and travelling around the world on a ten ton flying bison. All of the other stuff was dangerous but wasn't as hard as leaving home"

"I see. Right, contestant number one what about you?"

"Where to start? Well there was the time I rode the Unagi, the time I fought pirates, the time I snuck into the Fire Nation, plus the time I got captured by a Fire Nation Admiral. I've face a face-stealing spirit, rabid banished Princes and -"

"Okay! I get it! You're always in danger! My final question goes to contestant number three first. The reason I love my job so much is that it pays well. How well off are you money wise?"

Sokka looks at his feet sheepishly, as does Aang.

"Well I'm not very rich. In fact I'm usually living on food we find in the forest or things we can catch."

"Hmm. Contestant number one?"

"Well I guess my answer is exactly the same. You could say I've been away from home for a while so I haven't got much to my name."

"Whatever. Contestant number two?"

Jet smirks confidently at Aang and Sokka.

"Well Jun. As the leader of a rebel gang I haven't got the most secure income. The good news is that the scum that we take out are usually loaded and as they say… finders keepers."

The annoying presenter speaks up again and is accompanied my very upbeat music in the background.

"Thank you guys. Well Jun you've asked your three questions so all that is left is for you to pick the fella you like the sound of best. Do you go for contestant number one: The poor boy who likes to live on the edge and would like to take you to cloud nine? Maybe you go for contestant number two: The rebel without a cause who wants you to use your imagination. Or perhaps you'd prefer contestant number three: The homesick boy who wouldn't mind if his rear end weighed several hundred tons, just as long as he had food inside him."

Jun appears deep in thought as the annoying music reaches its peak.

"Well Jun who do you pick?"

"I pick contestant number… two."

"Right. Well Jun you've said goodbye to contestants number one and three. Please give it up for Aang and Sokka!"

Aang and Sokka come round the screen and Jun looks a little relieved that she didn't pick a twelve year old boy. Aang and Sokka take a seat on a couch on the other side of the stage as Jet and Jun stand either side of the screen.

"Well Jun, you picked him. Say hello to Jet!"

The screen pulls back and Jet kisses Jun on the cheek.

"Well guys, you two are lucky enough to get an all expense paid trip to the city of Omashu, where you can take in the sights of the mountainside city, along with its famous delivery system."

Jun and Jet nod and go over to sit with Sokka and Aang.

"Well my dear viewers, a week ago we sent two people off on a date together. Due to bad weather they are still at the sight of their date in the North Pole. The good news is that we have managed to get a live camera feed. So let's talk to Zuko and Katara."

The large television screen next to the couch splutters into life and the four people on the couch also turn to watch it. Katara and Zuko are sat next to each other on a fur lined couch. Snow can be seen falling heavily past the window.

"Hi guys! Well I can see how bad the weather is, so in general how has this week been?"

Zuko purposely avoids looking a the camera while Katara smiles slightly.

"It's been alright I suppose."

"Well Katara, we've heard that you weren't that thrilled when you found out you were going away with Zuko."

"No I suppose I wasn't. but come on! He's been chasing me, my brother and my friend for the past few months!"

"True. Why Zuko, you aren't looking too good! Are you okay?"

Zuko makes an indistinct grunting noise while Katara giggles.

"Actually Zuko caught a cold not long after we got here. We got banned from the central courtyard after Zuko sneezed and almost melted one of the ice sculptures."

"Oh dear! Well hat everyone is dying to know is did you two get close on this getaway?"

Zuko lowers his head even further while Katara blushes. In the studio Sokka sits a little straighter in his seat glaring at the screen.

"It's alright if you don't want to answer it because we caught something very interesting on video tape!"

The image of Zuko and Katara is replaced by a video recording of two people standing side by side on a bridge made of ice. It is clearly Zuko and Katara. There is no sound with the video but it is clear the pair are laughing about something. They turn to face each other and Zuko catches Katara's chin in his hands. He lowers his face to hers and wraps his arms around her waist. In turn Katara puts her arms around Zuko's neck.

In the studio Sokka and Aang are gaping at the screen as another dozen images of Zuko and Katara kissing are played.

Finally the recordings stop and it switches back to the North Pole. Katara has disappeared but Zuko is still sitting there with his head to the ground, a crimson blush on his cheeks.

Back on stage Sokka is on his feet pointing incredulously at the television.

"ZUKO!"

Zuko's head snaps up at the sound of Sokka' angry voice. Looking to his left he sees Katara has run off and he waves sheepishly at the camera before he too scarpers.

Meanwhile Sokka is charging out of the studio while muttering about "Stupid Fire Princes" and "Hijacking a bison to get to the North Pole".

Aang gives a final wave to the audience before chasing after Sokka.

"Well we've lost over half of our contestants and we've got some time to kill. Jun? Jet? Is there anything you want to ask each other?"

Jet nods and smirks at Jun.

"I'm just curious as to what the whip is for."

"It's for my Shirshu."

"Shirshu?"

Jun nods and cracks the whip. A few seconds ass before her large tracking animal (A.K.A: Shirshu) bounds in.

Jet screams like a little girl and legs it out of the studio.

"Oh no you don't! After him Shirshu!"

Jun jumps on her Shirshu and kicks his sides. They race after Jet.

"Can you feel the love! Well it seems as if we have lost all our contestants so I'm afraid that the show must come to a close. Just remember that it doesn't have to be Valentine's Day for you to tell someone you love them! Goodnight!"

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Well there you go. I'm sorry if it sucked but I wrote it in like, an hour, and I made it up as I went along. I just had the biggest urge to write something for my favourite show involving Valentine's day.

Review please!