Story: Her Happiness

(This fiction has no connection to "Making Eternity", just to let you know.)

Sanosuke's Point of View

You know, I've heard before that proposing is one of the toughest, scariest things a guy has to do. Simply said, you have to get down on one knee in front of the girl, and while holding out a ring, ask her to marry you. That's the western style proposition, which I tried my best to do—though the first time I tried I kind of ended up slipping and somehow landing on my face.

It's a good thing Megumi didn't question of why in the world I started kneeling like that; she just took it as some random, weird something that a typically random, weird guy like me would do. So I ditched the ring idea, and went back to the old-fashioned plan of asking her to marry me verbally, without any silly rings or kneeling.

Needless to say, talking is usually easy enough, unless you have to say those four words, while looking at her dead-on, plus you have to keep a straight face without suffering a nervous breakdown. Oh, sure, it looks easy—but then again; most things that look easy are usually pretty hard, anyways.

I failed the straight face, the eye contact, and the no-nervous breakdown parts, but I managed to ask Megumi before my heart gave out. It's kind of stupid, now that I think about it—she's already told me she loves me, so I don't really get of how she could actually say no. But she said yes, so it's not really that bothersome anymore.

But no one ever mention of how hard, scary, and tough getting married was. I mean, can you imagine sitting down in a strange, poofy, black outfit with a bunch of people staring at you from behind? Yeah, well, I suppose I got it easy—Megumi was going to have to wear some white thing that looked more like a giant, white hairball that's been blow-dried to the size of a train.

Oh yeah. I was going to absolutely, undoubtedly, unspeakably, die. Painfully, too. I can imagine the headlines in the news: "Youthful Rooster croaks due to post-wedding heebie-jeebies." Yup. I'm dead.

These wedding things are, I bet, purposely designed to freak the couple out. For example, have you ever heard or read Shinto wedding vows? I have a hard time remembering what street I live on, and they expect me to memorize….ah, what, a MILLION lines of wedding vows?

Not to mention on my traditional clothing, there's this fuzzy thing that looks sort of like a dust bunny, hanging from two strings on my gi. I've never been in a wedding before, so I have no idea what it is…but, as I walk now with Megumi and the gang, following the priest, to the jinja (shrine), I've discovered it's really fun to play with. Megumi shot me a nasty, no-no look, so I quickly left it alone. Feh. Wait until I tease her later about how she looks like a white mushroom with that puffy white thing on her head!

I'm being a little negative, yeah—but when you're so freaking scared to the point of wetting yourself, you're going to be a little tense. When we got to the jinja, we and everyone else had to wash our hands and mouths in holy water. Now, I don't have any particular idea of how water can be holy, but I decided to drop it. Being a sort of uneducated, casual kind of guy, I'm a little rough on appreciation of all this formal gunk.

Nearly forgetting to bow, I was lucky that I saw Megumi slowing ahead of time before I walked right into the jinja. It was kind of weird, but it was over as quick as it had started, and we went inside the shrine without another ritual.

Eventually Megumi (in her big, puffy hairball dress) and I (in my black and gray suit with the white dust bunny) were seated upon the floor, facing each other, with some space in-between us for Kami. Megumi seemed far away from me, since we sat apart; but she looked no where near as nervous as I. Her calm, beautiful features matched those of when she worked at the clinic; making me feel all the more silly and cowardly. I was more scared now then ever before, and I could imagine Kenshin and Kaoru smirking and snickering silently at my damn nervousness. Some friends.

It was dead silent. I'm not the sort of person who's used to this sort of quiet; the closest I've got to quiet is when I tried to follow Kenshin to Kyoto, but somehow ended up in the mountains. The forest was still enough, but it had the chirping of birds and the swishing of trees, so it wasn't this quiet. Goosebumps appeared all over my arms, but no one knew that except me, thanks to my gi.

Suddenly, a loud, dull beat echoed throughout the jinja. I nearly jumped, but managed not to as I realized it was only the priest, beating a taiko, or a drum. It felt different; each thud seemed to pass through me like a rolling heartbeat, with its own weight and emotion. It kind of reminded me of a stone dropping through water; that's the image I got as the priest awoke the spirits with the pounding of the taiko.

I watched as the priest seized a staff, with a set of paper streamers attached to it; and he waved it over us and the onlookers. I wasn't sure if I was allowed to look about and watch everything, so I kept my head as still as I could, and let my eyes wander behind my lashes. It's not like the priest would notice and clonk me on the head in the middle of the ceremony just because I was curious; otherwise I'll was his mouth out in holy water, and give him a few prayers. Namu Amida Butsu. Or wait, that's Buddhism, isn't it? If that's what Anji used to say, then it…never mind….

As I thought, my eyes flicked back to the priest, my ears absorbing the weirdly nasal tune of his chants to Kami. He spoke so fast, and in the same, sing-song tune, as he offered food to the gods. I mimicked Megumi, holding myself in a humble pose; I just hoped no one saw how badly my hands were shaking, and sweating, for that matter.

Of course, we had rehearsed this entire thing before; but the whole ritual seemed new and frightening as it proceeded. I spotted the miko—the helpers of the priest—carrying something small and flat to the priest, who picked up a pitcher and tipped it to pour something into the thing. He leaned the pitcher forwards, and withdrew it, and then did so another time before pouring in a certain amount of liquid I knew very well. My senses spiked with excitement as the miko brought the cup to me, to begin the next stage of the wedding.

Megumi's Point of View

The ceremony had gone beautifully, so far. I was extremely thankful that Sanosuke was doing his best to keep himself in line, and not to mess up. However, I knew very well he was as frightened as a lost puppy in a thunderstorm over there, despite his stoic expression. The way his hands slightly fidgeted, and his eyes flickered everyplace; I could tell.

Now, I had to be concerned about the next ritual; the San-San-Kudo (Three-Three-Nine), or the ritual of threes. Having done some research, I already knew about it. The San-San-Kudo was a ritual in which the marrying couple shared three cups of sake, in which increase in size as they go along. Each person had to take three sips for each cup; the first two fake, the last one a real sip. The only worrisome thing about this ordeal was that I was nervous Sanosuke might forget this, and drink it all without thinking.

Studying him out of the corner of my eye, I noticed his bright boyish eyes go wide with glee when the miko brought him the first cup. Oh please, don't, I begged inside, as Sanosuke pressed the edge of the cup to his lips. Remember what we practiced, Sano, remember…

The cup tipped, and for a horrendous moment, it seemed like had already drank it. But then the lowered itself again, only to tip up once more a moment later. Not a drop of the rice wine had been drunk. I noticed Sanosuke was peering at me as well, keeping himself in form so that no one else would know. His eyes smirked at me—he knew very well of what I had been fretting over.

He took the third and actual swallow, returning the container to the miko, who brought it to me. I preformed the ritual without stumble, finishing off what was left of the sake on the third tip.

The next cup was brought to me, first. It was larger than the other cup, but still just as flat. After performing my part, the cup went to Sano, who finished it happily, though, only his eyes showed it. I couldn't help but wonder if the priest's agreement to marry us would have differed if he had known Sanosuke was an unemployed gangster who used to clobber people for money, and now frequently freeloads off of his trusted ones.

Finally, the third, last, and largest cup of sake was brought; firstly to Sanosuke. He managed to resist temptation for the first two sips, but then guzzled well more than half of the sake. I wanted to somehow lift up the statue of Kami next to me and flatten him with it, but unfortunately I'm not the kind of person who could find a way to do so without garnering unwanted attention. The miko, looking slightly sheepish, brought the remainder of the sake to me. I finished the ritual, downing the little bit of alcohol left, making sure to cast a sideways glower of spite to my pleased Rooster.

His content expression soured a bit when the priest finished preparing the alter, asking for us to rise and come. I knew what was bothering him so; it was time to make our vows, which worried Sanosuke to no end. But he followed me grudgingly as I stood; and I felt guilty for him, wishing I could reach out and take his hand. He probably would have liked that, too; but we'd ruin the ceremony.

I was nervous as well. The vows were delicate and difficult, and Sanosuke had to do the most reading. He flicked me a quick look like that of an injured animal as he struggled to hold the parchment of vows correctly, managing to do so to a respectable length. He took a frightened, snagged, but soft sigh, and began to recite the vows.

Though it's a surprise to many, but I love to listen to Sano read. His soft, deep voice read the words like a musician's instrument does the notes, and the tune combined with the shyness of his voice make it all the more adorable. He's often self-conscious about his literary skills; and while I'll admit his writing is sloppy, and his spelling and grammar are in worse condition than his right hand; his reading is so cute and lovely to listen to.

Lifting my eyes, I could feel the slightly surprised atmosphere emanating from our audience. Ken-san and Kaoru-chan sat near, smiling happily, while Yahiko-kun and Tsubame-chan simply peeked at us with astonishment, probably because of Sanosuke's unknown reading skills. Tae-san, Misao-chan, Aoshi, Genzai-sensei, Ayame-chan, Suzume-chan, and Katsu-san were present as well, silent and respectful. Of course, there was one person present that Sanosuke absolutely threw a tantrum about inviting; the boy had declared he'd pick me up and kidnap me to a faraway town were we could get married without any friends to watch if I insisted on inviting this man. But, of course, I got my way eventually, and we invited him.

Wonderfully enough, Saitou hadn't made a disturbance of himself at all. To my greater glee, he had even kept himself from smoking inside the jinja! In fact, it was simply a miracle in itself that Saitou was there at all. I wondered if Sanosuke took this as a sign of respect from the man, or if Sano saw it as something else; it's hard to tell sometimes of what exactly Sanosuke feels about a situation unless you can talk to him about it and look in his eyes. I think that is what his most fatal flaw is as a fighter; you can read him easily, just by looking into the pools of brown behind his eyelashes.

With a slight stammer, which brought me out of my musing, Sanosuke finished his vows, and I spoke my part easily, for it was very short. As the parchment was replaced, and we made out way back to our seats, Sanosuke's hand sneakily brushed against mine. I could tell he was extremely relieved that it was over; but nevertheless we didn't forget to walk correctly. Knowingly we didn't turn our backs completely to Kami, the movements our inside feet stepping in union, though poor Sano got slightly confused when we neared our seats, and got a little out of timing.

He glanced over sheepishly at me, and I smiled.

-

I lay awake that night, weary from celebration, and from Sano's nocturnal needs. Sanosuke snored softly beside me, his arms around my bare waist and holding me against him as he slept. Having never seen Sanosuke like this before, I sleepily watched his boyish features as they remained unstressed and smooth. I had given my everything to this man; my trust, my safety, my funds (you'd think I'd be petrified about that, and just to note, you're right), my love, my home, my heart, my purity, and my future. Without this man, without Sanosuke, I have no future.

They say love is giving someone the strength, power, and ability to destroy you, but trusting them not to. It's true. And what is stranger is that it's really not as frightening as it sounds, and if it is, either it's not true love or you're overcomplicating things. Sanosuke and I, we overcomplicated things hideously—causing us to climb up from the depths of hatred, to the plains of competitors, finally to the point of friendship. It took us ages even to get there; and I won't even begin to think of how difficult it was to admit to love.

But I think what I like most about all of that is the result. I like to think that the struggles, hardships, arguments, misunderstandings, and such only made our love all the more precious and special. After all, what value is something you easily receive? Now that I am here, in Sanosuke's arms, I am not frustrated with the past hardships I faced to get to this point, as I used to be. In fact, I'm satisfied with them.

Sanosuke mumbles in his sleep, his expression tightening slightly only to relax once more. His eyes moved behind their lids; my husband was dreaming, about what I could only imagine. Reaching up, I do my best to ignore the nagging heaviness of my eyelids, and I stroke his face. His cheeks are soft-skinned, with the slight itch of facial hair. A smile forms my lips as the image of Sanosuke attempting to shave without slicing his nose off comes to me, and I laugh softly as he smiles as well.

His dreams cease, as my fingers rove up to his temple, gliding through his hair and combing back the stubborn spikes. An unexplainable connection floats between the two of us, something I can't really define; a kind of closeness that makes me want to set free my soul from my body and just be closer to Sanosuke then ever before, breaking our limits and reaching out into the unexplored voids of our love.

It's confusing and unsure, but I think that as long as I stay with him, I'll be able to live to my fullest. Sano is my breath of life, my happiness, my love, my mind, my heart, my world…it's ridiculous to some, I know; but this love I feel is outrageous on its own. It's real, unlike a lot of love and marriage. My love is true and stable, I feel that—most things in my life have always let me down, broke from beneath my feet, betrayed me… everything has, except my Sano. Sanosuke's always been there, whether affectionately or not; whether it's by yelling at me for being stupid, or holding me tight when I am sad, Sanosuke's always been there to be my fortress and shield.

He is my happiness.

OWARI.

MadiSano: As you can tell, I am alive! LOL. I apologize to you all for the absurdly late update; life has caught up to me! ORO! ...heh, anyways, I am sorry; but if my updates do come a little slower for a bit, it's because of the exams and such I am taking in order to get into an appropriate spot in high school. Feh. It feels like I'm applying for college instead, but hey... This post was more of a feel-good, mushy, mega-fluff fic; and some people like that. This fic was requested by Crewel; and I thank her VERY much for this request; I learned quite a lot about Shintoism and even learned some new Japanese words! Thank you very much!

You will NOT believe how many requests I got for a continuation of "We're Even!" LOL. In fact, I plan to do an AU fic sort of based on the same idea, only it takes place in modern days; once I finish "Do You Believe In Me?". And yes, Crewel, I am talking about your idea :)

Since a lot of people like action-packed romance, I am going to post the kind of fic everyone likes! Adventure, romance, action, humor, drama... the works. LOL. The next post I plan on was requested by Roosterboy. I instantly fell in love with the idea, since I am a hardcore Pirates of the Caribbean fan! XD LOL. Sano the pirate! Megumi the princess! (imagines Sano in scruffy, Captain Jack Sparrow-like pirate gear) O.O (passes out) ...Okay, I'm back. Hehe. Anyways, the inital plot is that Sanosuke kidnaps Megumi in order to attain ransom from her father, but while at first the girl drives him completely nuts, in the end Sano isn't so sure he wants to give Megumi back... Until then! Ja!