Disclaimer: JKR owns Harry Potter. I'm just sneaking into her creative swimming pool at night... or something.

Author Notes: I was previously Insane Slytherin. This is The Great Editing Movement of 2010. Those of you with this story/me on alert are probably rather shocked to find that this is the only chapter left, and that it's nothing like what it once was. Not to mention the two years' absence and the change in name.

You see, I knew from the moment that I stopped writing this story that it wasn't very good. For a fifteen-year-old, maybe it was good, but that's just not good enough anymore. For the last two years I haven't been able to summon the interest, focus, or even the courage to do something about it. Then I started reading fan fiction again. I'm seventeen now, and I've calmed down a lot. Now I actually stop and think about what I say before I'm going to say it. So, I'm applying all of that to this story.

This story will be nothing even remotely similar to what it once was. Bits and pieces of the general plot will remain the same, but there was a lot I didn't like and felt embarrassed by. Entire sub-plots will be removed, and entirely new ones will be created.

I want this to be big, but I can't do it without you guys. If you have any suggestions, any corrections, anything to say, please say it. I'm open to any suggestions, and I want as many people to be able to enjoy this story as possible. We've done this once before, I hope you all are willing to help me do this again, and make this story, this series better than it ever was before, better that it was ever going to be.

Thank you so much to everyone who has ever supported me. Please enjoy this story.

Prologue

April 17th, 1985

It was raining today.

In fact, it wasn't raining, it was pouring, and little four-year-old Harry James Potter of Number 4, Privet Drive knew what that meant.

"Boy, go weed the gardens! My tulips are being suffocated from the shoddy job you did of it last week!"

Every time it rained his Aunt sent him outside to weed. At least the rain today was rather warm, or Harry's fingers would have been too numb to grip the plants properly. Sighing, Harry sat up in his cupboard under the staircase and quickly began to dress himself. If he dawdled too much, his Aunt would come and get him with her screechy voice, her face blotched from yelling. Harry wasn't entirely sure why she always yelled at him when it made her face blotchy. Harry certainly wouldn't if it were him. However, last time Harry had asked her anything, she had yelled at him to not ask questions. He wasn't sure why, but obviously he couldn't ask her.

Harry pulled on his trainers by the back door and strolled resignedly out into the pouring rain and mud. He glanced up at the sky, searching hopefully through the clouds for a gap at the edge of the sky that might signal an eventual halt in the downpour, but he saw nothing but grey puffs swollen with water.

Remembering what his Aunt had yelled about the tulips, Harry wandered over to that section of the garden. One thing that Harry rather liked about the garden was its neatness and order. Harry liked neatness because as long as everything was clean and orderly, Aunt Petunia didn't yell at him. Well, she did, but not as much. Spotting an odd plant that he knew didn't belong there, Harry dramatically yanked the weed, threw it on the grass, and pretended to shoot at it as if it were an invading enemy. He had few toys and his chores were boring, so he used his chores to play games. Only when Aunt Petunia wasn't around, of course, because she always yelled at him when he laughed or played in front of her.

In the next ten minutes, Captain Harry tracked down three more enemy invaders and demolished them with his supercharged laser gun, leaving the Tulip Space Station safe and sound. Moving onto the Begonia Castle, Harry rose up to one of the weedy spies, only to draw back as he noticed a small snake lying peacefully beneath the weed.

Harry had only seen snakes in Dudley's cartoons before, and had never actually encountered one in the gardens. He remembered once last summer when he was too young to weed by himself and Aunt Petunia had been outside and screamed for Vernon to come kill one, but when Harry had tried to go over and see it, he'd been pushed out of the way and ultimately sent to his cupboard for being nosy.

Taking a closer look at the dark green snake, Harry couldn't see why Aunt Petunia was so scared. The snake was rather pretty, and its odd skin looked very smooth. When Harry took a step towards it, the snake looked up at him.

"Hey, there," Harry said soothingly to it, hoping it wouldn't run away. "You're a pretty snakie. Do you like the rain?"

The snake gave him what he imagined was a very shocked and insulted look and then, to Harry's great shock, spoke back to him. "Snakie? What is a snakie?"

Harry stared for a moment, speechless. "Wow," he said, "you can talk? The TV never said snakes could talk!"

The snake looked even more confused. "What is a TV? And why can you talk to me?"

Harry smiled. "A TV shows you funny pictures that move and talk."

The snake just stared at him.

Harry giggled a little nervously, not used to anything talking to him in a polite tone of voice. "What's your name?" he asked it.

"Name?" it asked. "Why do you say such strange things?"

"What do you call yourself?" Harry asked.

The snake seemed to consider this for a moment before saying, "I am He-Who-Swims-In-Shallow-Water."

Harry giggled. "That's a silly name," he said. "That doesn't even sound like a name!"

The snake moved a little so that it was sitting in a puddle. "It is what I am called in the pond where I dwell during the sunny days."

Harry smiled. "My name's Harry."

"That name is ridiculous," the snake said. "What is a Harry?"

"I'm Harry!" he said.

The snake made an odd hissing noise that sounded like a snort. "You are strange and say things that don't make sense."

"But you don't make sense!" Harry practically yelled. "You're silly, with a name like Swims-In-Water!"

"It is what I do," the snake reasoned, "and therefore, it is what I am called, but there is no such thing or action as a Harry, so you are the one with the senseless name."

Harry wasn't sure what to say. He hadn't completely understood everything that the snake had said, since it spoke so oddly. One thing Harry did know, though, was that the snake looked so smooth. "Can I touch you?" Harry asked it shyly.

The snake gave him a contemplative look before acquiescing, and so Harry reached down to touch it, trying to be gentle. "You're so soft," Harry said happily, "and you're pretty. You're the same color as my eyes! My eyes are green, too, except you're darker and also brown."

The snake hissed happily. "You are a good One-Who-Walks-On-Its-Hind-Legs. Harry is a stupid name. I shall call you He-Who-Speaks-With-Ground-Dwellers."

Harry stared. "That's a very big name!" he said, "I don't think I can remember that!"

The snake gave him a rather annoyed stare before saying, "Then I shall call you Speaker. Are you able to remember that, you odd Hind-Leg-Walker?"

Harry nodded and smiled. "Yes! It's like my own code name!" he said happily.

The snake gave him a look. "What is a code name?"

Harry laughed and stroked the snake happily. "Will you be my first friend?"

The snake gave him another look. "Friend? Like my brothers and sisters?"

"Sure!" Harry said happily. "Friends talk and have fun together! I never had one, but Dudley does, and I've always wanted one."

The snake nodded. "That is acceptable. I will return when the water falls from the sky."

Author Notes: I've decided to do that whole Harry-meets-a-snake thing. I've done my best to make him sound four. There's a three-year-old in my house, so I like to think that I did a decent job. I might stick the original Fates thing in later if there's a spot where it fits. We'll see.

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. The next chapter should be up within the next couple of days, since I've written it once before, there will just be a lot of differences, as I said at the top of the page.

Until we meet again,
Pinnacle of Madness