Goes to the tune of Tom Jones 'It's Not Unusual' :)

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SNAPE:
It's not unusual to melt caldrons my class,
Especially when Neville Longbottom's coming past,
But when it's solid gold, standard size 4,
It's not unusual to see me mad,
Yeah, I'm really bad

It's not unusual to hate those Gryffindors,
The more detentions they get the more I long for wars,
If you should ever get a detention with old me,
It's not unusual, it happens every day,
No matter what they say
You'll find it happens all the time

If I ever say, that is the wrong way
then it's wrong and you're not riii-iii-iiiight (right)

It's not unusual for my classes to get scared,
I've heard it's because I'm so greasy haired,
But if you ever insult me to my face,
then get ready, to face the wrath of Severus Snape
Woh woh woh woh