The Fan(girls)

This is what boring weekends lead to...

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A Naruto-fanfiction by Rike-sama.

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DISCLAIMER: If I owned Naruto, there'd be more crazy filler stuff. If I owned Gravitation, it'd be more realistic.

AUTHOR's NOTE: I really truly feel like kicking myself for producing this stupid thing... The title is a pun on the movie 'The Fan' by the way, if you didn't notice. Yeah, I suck... Anyways, my first language is German so please bear with me and kindly ignore all of my mistakes. XP

To understand this, you probably need to know a bit about Gravitation... which is a shonen-ai/BL-anime/manga about a singer and his boyfriend. All you need to know is that the singer's name is Shuichi, his boyfriend is called Yuki and there's a girl named Ayaka that is engaged to Yuki. Sounds like a soap opera to you? It basically is.

Seeing as Gravitation is mentioned in here it's obvious there are yaoi-hints. Don't flame me about that. Anyways...

ENJOY!

THE FAN(GIRLS)

They seemed totally out of place. Nobody cared, nobody noticed. Naruto-fans all over the world wondered why nobody was ever spotted using them. Even the most obsessive fans were completely mystified. Where did they get their power from? There wasn't a single powerhouse in all of Konoha. No power supply lines either.

And still: Nearly everybody in Konoha owned one.

We're talking about TVs here, of course. Not about fangirls. And since the Narutoverse would implode if we were to find out why they had TVs there, we'll just ignore it and take them for granted. Just like we take it for granted that there aren't any laws that protect children from being sent on missions they might never come back from.

Ahem.

Even though we never get to see it, people do actually use their TVs – just like Ino and Sakura were at the moment. Shall we take a look? Yes? Of course. I mean, I'm the author, I can make you take a look at anything I want you to look at – and it feels darn good, too.

Anyway, so Ino and Sakura had a day off and were sitting on the couch in front of the TV in Ino's room, happily munching away on some popcorn and generally having a good time. Nevermind they were supposed to fight each other for Sasuke's affections – they only did that when other people were around anyways. Because having no friends of one's own sex really sucks.

From the amount of skimpy outfits, cigarettes and pink plush bunnies it was obvious they were watching that anime, Gravitation.

You'd never think by looking at them, but Ino and Sakura were closet yaoi fangirls. Yeah, that's right. So here they were, watching Gravitation in relative silence, giggling, squealing and shouting with indignation from time to time.

And then a character named Ayaka appeared on the screen.

"Oh God, no, not her again!", Ino groaned, throwing a piece of popcorn at the TV.

The pink haired girl next to her nodded vigorously. "Yeah, she's so annoying!"

"I know!", Ino cried. Then, after a bit of contemplating, she added: "And she's got no fashion sense whatsoever."

"Yeah, you're right. She's gotta be, like, my least favourite character. She's just so stupid! I hate her!" Sakura glared at the screen darkly, stuffing her face with popcorn.

"Me too", Ino said. Then they were quiet for a while, placing the now empty bowl of popcorn on the floor.

A loud 'smack!' sounded and both girls bristled with anger. "Sakura, did you see that?", Ino asked. "She slapped him! She just slapped Shuichi!"

Sakura growled. "Yeah, I saw it, I'm not blind, you know. I can't believe it! That stupid cow!"

"Everything'd be so much cooler if she was gone… she totally gets in the way of YukiShuichi smut!", Ino claimed.

"That's right, that's right. I mean, she may be Yuki's fiancée, but it's so obvious that he can't stand her!", Sakura agreed.

Both girls paused. After a while Ino spoke up. "She gets in the way of YukiShuichi, and when you think about it, you sort of get in the way of SasuNaru."

Sakura fumed. "Yeah, well, I would get in the way if they were gay, but they aren't." She was quiet for a bit. Then she said in a small voice: "Do you think that somewhere out there, there's yaoi fangirls that hate me the way we hate Ayaka…?"

Ino and Sakura glanced at the TV, then shared a look and shuddered involuntarily. Suddenly they both felt very, very cold.

"Let's do something else", Ino suggested nervously and hurried to switch the TV off.

"Yeah…", Sakura muttered, rubbing her arms, glancing around warily, checking the corners for weird shadows. "L-let's do something else."

She felt as if a thousand angry eyes were glaring at her, wishing she'd fall ill and die.

In reality, of course, there weren't a thousand angry eyes glaring at her.

There were way more.

Heh... sorry.

This isn't meant to offend anyone, be it canon, fanon or yaoi fans. I just thought the ideo of Sakura and Ino acting all yaoi fangirl-ish and then wondering wether there's others like them out there was very amusing...

I'm sorry the writing sucked so much, I wasn't in the mood for anything fancy. XP