Disclaimer: I am borrowing these characters from Dick Wolf and NBC, nothing more.

A/N: Hello! I started this a week ago, and am really engrossed in it. My previous story was also a lot of fun. I got some feedback that they jumped into a relationship too early; that it was a little OOC. I really thought about it, and I think that was really good feedback. This story has a little more complexity to it, a little more subtlety. Their feelings for one another are not so easy. I hope you like it.

Sheila

Control

Chapter 1

Prologue

Alex struggled to keep the gun from shaking in her hands. The situation was untenable. It was clear that this was not going to end well. He was only ten-fifteen feet away and she could smell the sweat running down his face. His gun was bigger, unwieldy, and she knew if he hit her, it would be no simple flesh wound. The child behind her whimpered and she backed up a step, pressing her against the wall.

"She's my child and I'm not leaving here without her." His voice felt wild to in her ear.

"No," she said simply. To her right, the man on the couch shifted. Up to this point, he seemed to be merely a victim of circumstance.

The man turned his head sharply at the noise. "Jimmy, don't move. Stay out of this."

She heard no other noises, but she was unable to turn her head to check. "Ronald, just back out of here. I won't follow."

"I want my daughter!"

"No, she's not safe with you. I can't let you have her."

"I will put a hole through you so big—"

Alex snorted, pretending a bravado that existed no where within her. "Then we both die. You won't be the first man I killed, Ronald. Is that what you want? We end everything right now? It's your call."

She wondered where Bobby was. It seemed inconceivable that he wouldn't know what was happening to her in this moment. She had come up to get the child only. She wondered how much time had elapsed. Was it enough to trigger some concern? He had stayed in the lobby to ask the doorman a few questions. Surely, he was starting to get concerned.

As if she channeled him, a knock sounded on the apartment door. "Ronald! Ronald! I know you're in there!"

A sense of relief flooded through her. He not only showed up, but he knew Ronald was here.

"You touch the knob on that door and I'm going to empty my entire clip into your partner. You're going to have to carry her out in pieces!"

"Alex!"

"I'm here, Bobby. It's a standoff. I'm not letting him take Sara."

"Ronald, I need you to let me in. We have to make a plan so that no one gets hurt."

"Tell your partner to put her gun down. I don't negotiate until she does that."

Alex shook her head. "Not going to happen, Bobby."

Goren sounded strained. "Alex, put it down. It'll be okay."

Alex hesitated. Bobby would get inside and do his thing. It was what she had been hoping for all along, but somehow she couldn't do it; every instinct in her body said no. "I don't think I can do that, Bobby."

"Alex, do it!"

Alex shook her head. His need for control had always been between them; this was nothing new. She had always coped; always gave him plenty of room to do what he needed to do. "I'm not backing down! We need another plan, Bobby!" The child was clutching the back of her shirt. She could feel the terror in her touch.

"Bitch wants to go the hard way!" Ronald extended his gun and took a step toward her.

Goren screamed into the door. "Ronald! You have to talk to me! Let me in! I can help! I can talk to her!"

It was a game. She knew that. He often identified with suspects, it was how he gained their confidence, but she could also hear the frustration in his voice. He couldn't take a back seat to this and she wasn't cooperating.

Ronald was shaking all over. "I'm walking away from this!"

"Put the gun down," she said in a low voice. "Your options are gone. You have two choices; you live or you die. What's it going to be?"

"Alex!"

"Bobby, knock it off!"

Ronald's eyes were burning into her hers, and she worked to keep her focus with him alone. She saw movement in his arms; it looked like he was starting to put down the gun.

"Ronald! Let's talk!"

Bobby's voice startled him and he jerked the gun up again.

"Bobby, shut up!" Her arms had started to imitate his convulsions.

Then the man snapped. He screamed and fired. Alex's instincts clicked in and she fired back. Weight sounded against the door and the lock burst. Alex fell back onto the child, and the two of them slid down the wall. Ronald rocked on his feet, his eyes jerking about wildly. The door exploded and Bobby was there, his gun drawn, throwing Ronald into the wall. The man offered no resistance and Bobby's momentum landed him on the floor on top of him. He pulled himself off and noted the blood seeping from Ronald's ruined chest. It was staining his own shirt, and he pulled away, annoyed that he was wearing one of his Ralph Lauren's. Ronald gasped once more and then his head slumped onto his shoulder. Bobby wrenched the gun out of his hand.

The child had squirmed out from under Alex and scrambled into her lap. Alex didn't move, her gun lay limply in her hand, eyes closed, blood trickling from her temple. The child put a hand on her cheek, bobbing Alex's face back and forth. The child yelped and kicked when Bobby lifted her off. He paid no attention to her squawks, tucking her under one arm like a newspaper. He knelt beside Alex, putting his hand firmly over her carotid. "Alex, honey, are you okay?" He brushed her hair away from her forehead to get a better look at the wound. He sat back and searched her torso for other wounds; the child still protesting against his side.

Eames groaned and her eyes fluttered open.

He grunted as if unable to complete a response and then cleared his throat. "You're okay, Alex. It was a glancing shot. Just nicked you. There's no point of entry."

Her eyes darted over his shoulder and he nodded. "He's dead."

Uniforms had begun tumbling through the door. Goren handed the girl off to a female cop and returned his attention to Alex. "You're too stubborn sometimes, Eames."

"You don't trust me enough," she murmured as her fingers poked at the bleeding gash on her head.

Before Bobby could respond, another voice sounded. "She saved our lives. She was so brave."

Bobby turned to find a man standing over them. He was the man from the couch.

"Thanks, Jimmy," Alex murmured.

Goren raised an eyebrow at him. "Yeah, Jimmy, she's amazing. Listen, they're going to want to take your statement. Go talk to that officer over there."

………………………………………………………………………….

It was midnight before IAB finally released the scene. Bobby answered questions long after Alex had been sent to the hospital. Deakins showed up and generally fussed at investigators until the chief Internal Affairs guy assured him that the shooting looked righteous. Finally, he got the message, packed up his show and headed down to the hospital so he could ride herd over his injured detective.

By the time Bobby got there, she was almost done with tests and Deakins had been banished to the waiting room. Bobby murmured some assurances and convinced the captain that it would be best if one of them got some sleep. The captain left once Goren promised that he would get her safely home.

It was another hour before she emerged. A white bandage marked her forehead. She saw Bobby and sighed. He looked back at her with sleepy eyes. "I haven't eaten in forever."

She nodded. "I could use a couple of eggs before I go to sleep."

They hadn't said three things to each other by the time the waitress set two ranch specials in front of them. Eames tried to order coffee, but Goren scolded her about drinking caffeine with a head injury. She rolled her eyes, but settled for orange juice.

He took two bites, but couldn't seem to maintain an appetite. He leaned back in his booth and looked at her. "What happened back there?"

She shrugged, her fingers toying with her orange juice glass. "We thought he would be at work and he wasn't."

"I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about us. What happened?"

"I couldn't stand down, Bobby. It would have been a mistake."

He nodded. "I understand that, but we're partners. We're not supposed to fight each other like that especially when we need each other the most."

"You need to trust me more."

He shook his head emphatically. "I do trust you. I don't think I have ever trusted anyone more."

"But it was my call. I was in there."

"And I needed to be in there with you."

"If the situation was reversed, you would most definitely have not allowed me in there."

Bobby studied his plate for a moment. "I'm not a fan of hypocrisy. I would want that not to be the truth."

"Bobby, you're the big gun. I'm the one who keeps it steady. Most of the time I'm content to let it be your show, but this time you just needed to listen to me."

He looked out the window. "I didn't know you felt that way."

She waved her fork in the air. "I don't have the languages nor do I have the freakish memory. I don't have your knowledge or your imagination. I can't identify 3500 different scents with my nose. I'm just an honest cop with good instincts and a solid work ethic. There's nothing special about me. Hell, you could get the same out of any partner if you wanted."

"So you want a new partner," He murmured at the window pane.

"No," she sighed. "I do not want a new partner. The partner I have is just fine with me.

I just want your respect and your trust."

"You're not average, Alex. Not one bit. I'm sorry if you've felt like that. I'm sorry if I've not been better at…sharing with you."

Aw jeez, Bobby, I don't know. Let's not feel bad about this. It's been a rough enough day, and my head is starting to pound something fierce. I'm sorry about everything too."

"We still have things to talk about here. We have to make the time."

"We will." Alex dropped her gaze back onto her food and didn't meet his eyes again for the rest of the meal.

……………………………………………………………………………

Three months later

Eames' phone rang again. She picked it up and winced slightly at the display. Goren looked up from where he was crouching in front of a dead woman, her hair splayed across a exquisitely expensive marble floor. Eames gave Goren an embarrassed smile, rolled her eyes, and then moved off to the corner of the room to answer it. Goren furrowed his brow for a moment, but quickly returned his attention to the dead female on the floor.

She was 41 years old, but her face was achingly smooth, almost shiny. Wearing latex gloves, he gently explored her hairline. He could feel the distinctive elasticity of a face lift. He rocked back on his heals and cocked his head, regarding her carefully. Finally he stood up, wincing as a large man does when he spends too much time on his knees. He turned, found the M.E. and nodded at her.

Alex was still on the phone, hunched over in a corner of the spacious room, books in shelves from floor to ceiling. It felt odd. She was definitely tense.

"Detective"

He wheeled around to find a uniform gesturing at him. There was a woman with him, her face red and tear stained. He nodded, took one quick look at Eames again before carefully stepping around the body and taking the upset woman by the arm and steering her into another room.

Goren sat down with her in the kitchen. The woman's reaction seemed entirely genuine, and he focused on questions about the dead women's life and schedule. She identified herself as the girlfriend of the deceased and talked about the deceased having a husband who refused to allow a divorce. She looked at him furtively at times as if to find evidence of his moral judgment, but he showed her none of that. Bobby Goren had no interest in judging the lives of people unless they were in the business of murder.

Eames showed up at the end of the interview. He felt an air of agitation coming off her, her cheeks flushed, and he tried to catch her eye, but she avoided him. The grieving woman's sister showed up, and they let her take over. They made their excuses and headed for the door. Bobby leaned over, "We need to look at the husband."

Alex nodded, but asked for no particulars.

"Are you okay?"

Eames looked at him sharply. "Yeah, sorry about before. I took care of it."

"Anything you want to share—"

"Not particularly. Thanks for asking though." Her sarcasm matched her agitation and so Bobby let it drop.

………………………………………………………………….

The husband proved an easy collar. He all but had blood dripping from his hands. Eames let Goren play with him for awhile, and then she slapped a picture of his dead wife in front of him. The man seized as if afraid the photo would come to life. He was clearly not cut out for a life of crime. He became spastic every time Bobby asked him a question. Even his lawyer could see that subterfuge wasn't going to work for his client. After a few whispered conversations, the man almost vomited his confession. He eagerly explained the circumstances and her unwillingness to return to him, and his desperation and the heavy crystal statuette that sat on the table and how it was in his hands before he knew it. Goren didn't press. The man was transparent. There was no other motive, no premeditating factor. It would get written up as manslaughter, and his two kids would spend the next 10-15 years wondering why mommy and daddy couldn't resolved their differences like regular people.

Alex took care of the paperwork while Bobby ran him through booking. She didn't look up when he returned, but she could feel him hovering. He sat at his desk across from her when he got no reaction, and began to shuffle paper in an apparent attempt to simulate work. She resisted an urge to stab him with a sharp pencil.

When she couldn't stand it anymore, she slammed her pen down on the table and took a deep breath. He looked at her with these annoyingly puppy brown eyes, and she suddenly understood the pull of a crime of passion.

Things had felt different since the shootout with Ronald Wick. He treated her carefully and it annoyed her. He overcompensated as she knew he would, and it was all she could do not to blow up at him on a daily basis.

Slowly, she considered her words. "Bobby, have you ever done something terribly stupid and you just couldn't bring yourself to talk about it?"

He nodded and sighed. "I once told a girl I would marry her to get her to stop crying."

Her eyes widened. "Well, uh, thanks for answering a rhetorical question. Um, I have no right to ask, but as you always honor your promises, I am very curious. Why is there no Mrs. Bobby at home right now with the little Bobbettes?"

He winced. "I was a sophomore in college. I paid the star of the football team to ask her out on a date. She was into status. She let me down gently a week later. Now she is Mrs. Larry in Cincinnati, Ohio with three Larrettes running underfoot."

She looked down at her desk. "Can we let my secret just be mine for right now? I need to see if I can set things right."

"Of course," he said doing his best nonchalant. Eames gave him a tight smile as she watched him fidget through his paperwork. It wasn't enough for him, but she felt like it was all she could give.

…………………………………………………………………..

She saw him walking down the street toward her. He was a handsome man, blonde, tall, lanky, almost dapper. His blue eyes were frighteningly intense. He smiled widely at her and extended a single rose. She shook her head in disbelief.

He gave her his most disarming grin. "I know you said not to come. I realize that I'm being terribly disobedient."

She looked down and took a deep breath. "You're confusing me, Jimmy. We talked about this."

"Please forgive me. I couldn't leave things as we did before."

She refused to take the rose. "We didn't leave things. I told you that this was not going to happen. We're not going to date, Jimmy."

He shrugged. "I came on too strong. I said things you weren't ready to hear. This is my fault and I want to fix it."

He extended the rose again, and she took it out of his hand and threw it against the concrete face of her apartment building. "You are not listening to me and that's a problem. There's nothing left to talk about."

He stepped back and pursed his lips. "Alex, there's no reason to be hostile. We crossed wires; that's all. I'm here, humbling myself before you."

"Don't. Please leave. I'm tired." She reached for the front door.

He put a hand on her arm. "I'll be very kind to you."

She wheeled around and slapped him soundly across the face. He stepped back, blinking wildly while she advanced on him, a finger pointed at his chest. "I said no! And it will be 'no' tomorrow as well and the day after that. Knock it off, Jimmy. I don't want to see you here again." She turned around and marched through the door, never giving him a backward glance.

……………………………………………………………………………

TBC