Question Time: Reload

Notes: Dar asked me to write more of this, so – enjoy.

The Lethal Olympics

Seto: What is this? (Brandishing a flyer and staring at his garden, full of sporting paraphernalia, fire and dead things. The Kaiba mansion's conservatory has been turned into a makeshift hospital, where various m,embers of Yugi's gang are being treated for everything from Tetanus to third degree burns. They're being tended to by Malik and Otogi, who know nothing about medicine and are mostly just daring each other to touch the sick people.)

Bakura: (Gesturing to the chaos) Welcome to the first annual Lethal Olympics.

Seto: Annual? I think not. Does Ryou know about this?

Ryou: (Appears) Know about what? Oh, good lord, what on earth have you done this time?

Bakura: (Hands Ryou a flyer, whilst watching Marik playing 'Roadkill Hockey' with Yami in goal. It seems to consist of rollerblading around the driveway pelting Yami with dead squirrels and laughing.)

Ryou: (Reading flyer) You...decided to hold a demented version of the Olympic games in Kaiba's garden, just as an excuse to torment Yugi and his friends? Please tell me they didn't all sign up because you told them it'd be a 'fun, group activity'?

Bakura: You would not believe how many times Jounouchi will try and walk across an electrified tightrope wire if his friends are all cheering him on. It would have been more if the fall hadn't knocked him out on the sixth go. Also, Honda now holds the record for being on fire the longest without jumping in the pool, he's surprisingly flame-proof. To a point. It would have been Anzu, but her turn didn't count because it turned out someone had glued her in place. Might take a while for her hair to grow back, but on the plus side she still has most of the skin on the soles of her feet.

Seto: I was wondering why the place smells like the inside of a KFC. What is Honda doing now?

Bakura: Hurdles.

Seto: They're on fire. So is he.

Bakura: Makes 'em run faster.

Seto: I'm sensing a theme here.

Bakura: All sports are more interesting when at least one of the players is on fire.

Seto: True, I suppose...

Ryou: Don't encourage him! What on earth is Marik doing now?

Bakura: Baseball.

Ryou: Why are the balls exploding into red mist when he hits them?

Bakura: We filled the pitching machine with mice.

Ryou: (Watches Marik for a while, looking ill. Marik turns and winks lecherously at him, dripping mouse innards.) ...

Seto: What are Malik and Otogi doing now?

Bakura: Ah. Naked tree climbing.

Ryou: Honestly, I leave you alone for one minute and – (Is ignored)

Bakura: Call me when he's done telling me off.

Seto: Where are you going?

Bakura: To challenge Pharaoh to a game of Chainsaw Jousting. More fun than Duel Monsters, neh? (Smirk.)

Seto: (Rolls eyes and wanders off to make coffee.)

End.

Naked tree climbing. If you're drunk and it seems like a good idea, don't let common sense stop you. Because that is such a cool thing to have on a criminal record.