This is the story of Grievous's transformation from Kaleesh to cyborg, but mainly focuses on the manipulations of Dooku, when he awakened in his new form. I would like you to review this story so that I can improve it and gain ideas for future chapters. This is how I visualise the events that had taken place but naturally all things Star Wars are owned by their respective copyright holders (disclaimer). I'm just having a good time spinning different ideas.
Enjoy everyone – and wait to hear from you (this chapters depressing but sets the moment!) O and Happy New Year!
A Grievous deception – chapter 1
Grievous lay on the operating table located in the catacombs of Geonosis. Earlier his mind was screaming for the pain that spread across his body to stop and let him rest in peace, for he wanted to die a warrior's death. However he was denied such a death when the shuttle that was transporting him to a meeting with the IBC crashed over the waging waters of the Kalee Sea. Grievous remembered little about the accident ever since he was transformed into the cyborg general that would appose the armies of the republic and lead the separatists into victory, however within the bacta tank, which kept his vitals alive before his transformation was complete, he was fully aware of his situation, especially when a small section of his family saw him in the critical and suspending state that had stripped all the honour which he had kept so close to his heart. They gazed in horror when they looked at the warlords grievous injuries. Praying for him to return home.
Grievous's mind was latter wiped of the incident which had occurred during his family's visit. Grievous's first wife stood there clawing at the tanks glass surface, trying to awaken her husbands damaged mind. The Geonosians became increasingly impatient of the family's presence, for they wished to pursue with the generals transformation, before their prize was lost forever. One of the Geonosians lifted his head to summon a group of super battle droids to escort the 'guests' out of the lab and back to Kalee. One of the droids grabbed one of the Kaleesh younglings. His brothers and sisters all shouted in fear and anger. Grevious's three wives tried to release their son from the battle droids metallic grip. Grevious's first wife, Kamahi, grabbed the long Kaleesh blade which was strapped to her arm and sliced the blade through the droids circuitry. The droids grip released and the youngling was released, however the Kaleesh family was being advanced on by security droids who were alerted to the struggle.
The droids seized the family. Kamahi screamed at the suspended form of her dear husband.
"GRIEVOUS…."
Just as if being beseeched by a powerful external force, Grievous's heart rate pumped furiously, the Geonosians watched as his heart readings went off the scale on the monitor.
"SEDATE HIM" shouted one of the Geonosians, "WE CANNOT LOOSE HIM, TAKE THE KALEESH AWAY AND EXECUTE THEM, THEY HAVE NO PURPOSE!"
The Kaleesh screamed at the helpless figure suspended in the bacta tank. Then Grievous's eyes shot open, his vision was blurred with the green air pockets rising in the tank, but could see the figures of his family, crying for help. He struggled within the tank, trying to break free, even though he had no arms or legs he was driven to protect his family not only in life but also on the brink of death. The speakers surrounding the tank suddenly boomed with the voice of the dying figure:
"LET THEM GO" he cried
Suddenly Grievous saw the dark shadow of an elderly man, where he saw a silver curled handle clutched in the palm of his hand. That handle then emitted a long red light. He stood by the entrance where his family were being escorted out of. Suddenly his wife Kamahi broke free from the droids grip in a attempt to reach the shuttle they were escorted on to Geonosis, to get help from Grevious's former elite guards, which were sent by the Kaleesh clan elder to protect the Shakar family and who were still stationed onboard the shuttle. Her attempts were futile; the old man with one twist of the wrist sliced the Kaleesh in two. Grievous could hear the cries from his children and the remaining two wives. In one last attempt he tried to break free, however it was too late, the Geonosians had sedated him, a long tube slithered into his mouths opening, where he then went into darkness, but not before seeing his wives and children being dragged towards the holding cells and clambering around the dead body of Grievous's first wife Kamahi. The last thing he heard was the screams of his children pleading to be released so that they could mourn the death of their mother. Grievous remained sedated and was then transferred to the operating table, where his new shell awaited. Cold and lifeless, which is what he was soon going to become. His family were thrown into the holding cells, where they all grasped each other for comfort, crying in their despair. While Grevious's elite were destroyed by droid fire, where they had no chance of defending themselves.
The Kaleesh younglings had tears falling down their cheeks. The two remaining wives tried to comfort them; however they themselves were shadowed in grief and despair. What were those monsters doing to Grievous? They had realised that the general's health was not the Geonosians main priority. Grievous's second wife, Melica, was crouched on the floor rubbing her arm where the droid had touched her when they were escorted to the holding cells. Melica hated droids, and the thought that one had touched her, made her feel sick inside.
The operation was proceeding according to plan. The Geonosians had transferred all of Grievous's biological matter into the droid shell and was implanting the upgrades into his brain. The Geonosians had completed their project and were confident to present their creation to Count Dooku for inspection. Grievous lay there, his heart was beating at a slow but functional pace.
"Will father save us?" one of the Kaleesh children asked.
The two wives looked at each other:
"What does your heart tell you?" Melica said quietly
Suddenly a battle droid marched into the holding cells, the children grouped together while the two wives stood their ground, ready to defend their children by any means necessary. Melica glared at the battle droid:
"When Grievous awakens he will deal with you like the piece of scrap metal you are"
The sound of laughter could be heard behind the battle droid. The figure approached forward. It was the human who had killed Kamahi.
"My dear you are mistaken, the general has offered his services to me and I control him, just like I control this battle droid"
"Grievous would not answer to you, he is no droid" Melica shouted
Dooku smirked. "But my dear, he is!"
Grevious's eyes suddenly shot open…
TBC