Author's Note:
Well, I shouldn't have started something new when its been so long since I updated the other story I'm working on, but I had this idea in my head and it wouldn't go away. So I decided to get it down on paper. This story is coming to me far more quickly than most stories I've written. I wrote the first ten hand-written pages in a matter of six hours last week, not including this little prologue. And so far, I'm rather proud of how its turning out.

Now, a couple things you need to know. This story begins at the end of Becoming Part II. If you haven't watched all of Season Two yet, then turn around and leave. And yes, that means you Nathan. I don't care how curious you get. If you haven't finished watching the Season Two DVD's I lent you, you better stop reading right this minute and go watch another episode.

For everyone else: I know that in Becoming Part II Joyce sees Buffy dust a vampire, and that, I'm sure helps her come to terms with the truth, but in this, we make the assumption that this either did not happen, or Joyce decided to believe it was a trick of the light or a fancy prank. It doesn't matter which you'd like to believe, just so long as you keep in mind that Joyce honestly believes that Buffy is insane. Period. Also, this story will eventually (though not or awhile) become a Buffy/Giles pairing story. If you don't like this pairing, think it's a travesty for Buffy to love anyone but Angel, Riley, or Spike (and believe me, I love them too, but Giles is better), or think its impossible for two people of such a huge age difference to fall in love (and its not, believe me) than you should also stop reading.

Now, go have fun kiddies.

Last Time On Buffy the Vampire Slayer…

Buffy crouches beside the lifeless body, the edge of her easter-egg blue jacket just touching the pool of blood. Kendra's lifeless face stares up at her. Tears well up in Buffy's eyes. And then a voice shouts: "Freeze! Put your hands up. Back away from the girl slowly!"

Xander stands beside Willow's hospital bed, alternating his gaze between his unconscious best friend, and his girl friend standing in front of him. "I ran," Cordelia says softly, "I think I made it through three counties before I realized nobody was chasing me. Not too brave."

Buffy says, "It was the right thing to do."

"Did Giles keep up with you?" Xander asks.

"I didn't see Giles."

"Buffy stares at Cordelia, eyes wide. "You mean he's not in the hospital?"

Xander answers: "no."

Angelus watches Giles as he stands up. "What do you want?" Giles asks.

Angelus grins. "I wanna torture you," he says matter-of-factly.

Spike looks at her stubbornly. "He's got your Watcher. Right now, he's probably torturing him."

Buffy stares at him. "What do you want?"

"I told you. I want to stop Angel." Spike pauses and snickers. "I want to save the world."

Joyce looks at Buffy, confusion and dismay evident on her face, as she listens to Spike and her daughter talk. "Buffy... what... is going on?" she demands.

Buffy looks at her mother for a moment, exchanges a look with Spike and realizes that it's time. She steps up to her mom and looks up at her, hoping against hope for understanding. "Mom…" she pauses nervously. "I'm a Vampire Slayer."

Joyce just blinks her eyes, raises her brows and shakes her head in complete mystification and a sudden, inexplicable fear.

Joyce and Buffy stare each other down, both furious, both scared, both stubborn as hell. "Well, it stops now!" Joyce snaps.

"No, it doesn't stop!" Buffy shouts back. "It never stops! Do- do you think I chose to be like this? Do you have any idea how lonely it is, how dangerous? I would love to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys or... God, even studying!" she adds, her voice desperate and tortured. "But I have to save the world... again."

"No. This is insane." Frantic, she takes Buffy by the shoulders. "Buffy, you need help."

Angrily, Buffy shakes her mother's hands off. "I'm not crazy! What I need is for you to chill. I have to go."

Joyce shakes her head. "No. I'm not letting you out of this house."

"You can't stop me."

Joyce grabs her and says firmly, "Oh yes, I…" only to have Buffy shove her away, knocking her into the kitchen table, and head to the door. "You walk out of this house; don't even think about coming back!" Joyce shouts. Buffy gives her a long stare, full of sadness and anger and resignation, and then she walks out of the house.

Seeing Jenny, though Drusilla kneels beside him, Giles whispers: "We have to get Angel away from Acathla…"

Drusilla whispers, "Angel himself? He's the key?"

"H-hi… his blood," he stuttered, filled with pain and weakness. "He mustn't…"

"Shh…."

Drusilla kisses him. A moment later, as Angel and Spike call to her, she pulls away and Giles stares at her, realizing with painful clarity what he's done.

Xander appears beside Giles, calling his name, untying the ropes around his raw and bleeding wrists. "Can you walk?" the boy asks.

"You're not real," is Giles' answer.

"Sure, I'm real."

Giles defiantly states, "it's a trick. They get inside me head. Make me see things I want."

Xander pauses and stares him in the face. "Then why would they make you see me?" he asked.

Giles considers. "You're right, let's go."

In a white room, still in her hospital gown, with head thrown back and eyes grown black, Willow chants in a voice not entirely her own. "Asa sa fie! Asa sa fie! Acum!"

In the mansion, Angel drops his sword and cradles a cut on his hand.

In the hospital, Willow shouts the final word: "Acum!"

Buffy raises her sword for the kill, then pauses as Angel gasps and his eyes flash red. Suddenly he is on the floor, coughing and sobbing. "What's going on?" he whispers fearfully.

Buffy whispers, "I love you."

"I love you," Angel whispers back.

She touches his lips with her fingers softly, lovingly. And then breathes softly: "Close your eyes." She nods reassuringly when he pauses, and he closes his eyes. Desperately fighting tears, she kisses him passionately, tenderly. Then she steps away, draws back her sword and thrusts it deep into his chest. Shocked and pained, Angel's eyes fly open, and a bright light bursts from the sword. Angel reaches out for her, but Buffy backs away, eyes filled with tears, face filled with horror. He glances down at the sword impaled through his chest, then back up to her face. And she can only stare at him and step further back.

"Buffy..."

After a lifetime of sorrow and an eon of pain etched into a single moment, the light of the portal behind him finally swallows Angel up. The jaws of Acathla snap shut. And Buffy begins to sob.

And Now…

Let the Tortured Body Cease

Slow, slow,
And still as Death, came Sleep and Death
And looked at me with quiet breath.
Unbending figures, black and stark
Against the intense deeps of the dark,
Tall and like trees. Like sweet and fire
Rest crept and crept along my veins,
Gently. And there were no more pains…
Was it not better so to lie?
The fight was done. Even gods tire
Of fighting... My way was the wrong.
Now I should drift and drift along
To endless quiet, golden peace…
And let the tortured body cease.

-- The Quality of Courage, Stephen Vincent Benet

Author's Note 2:
Just to let you know, Stephen Vincent Benet is a fantastic American poet from the… uh… sixties or seventies, I think. Every chapter's title comes from an excerpt from either a poem written by Stephen Vincent Benet, or song lyrics by Leonard Cohen. I'll let you know what they come from specifically as each chapter comes.