Obligatory Author's Note: Hello, again. I posted this about a week ago, but it got deleted for some reason. I'm not sure what I did wrong, hmm….. Anyway, here we go again.
Basically this is a parody of such galling things as: the many heretofore "unknown" Millennium Items, the horror that is KaibaxOC, Mary Sues, and illogical romances. If you writethat sort of thing, keep in mind this is not based on any particular story, author or character. It's ajoke.Thus, not to be taken seriously. Thank you.
Disclaimer: Mr. Kazuki Takahashi owns Yu-Gi-Oh! and all its characters and properties. Basically, only Gorg the Caveman, "Crystal" and "Sakura" belong to me.
Got that? Right-o, let's begin…
Prologue - In the Beginning…
In the beginning, there was a caveman. Let's call him Gorg. Gorg liked to tell stories. Stories of his bravery against Mammoths, Sabre-Toothed Cats and other prehistoric paraphernalia. Some of Gorg's story were true, but most were just creative lies.
As time went on, people picked up on Gorg's ways and continued lying creatively to each other, until someone had the idea to write his Creative Lies down. And then someone else decided to put his Creative Lies on television. And, I expect, in the future they'll find a way to beam our favourite Creative Lies directly into our heads. But that is a story for another time.
At any rate, somewhere between books and television, yet another someone wrote a story using characters that already existed in someone else's Creative Lie and called it "Fan Fiction". It was a hit.
Unfortunately, after a while, fan fiction was infected by a certain Evil. As you may have guessed, that evil was a girl named Mary Sue. In the story of the King of Games, a meeting between Mary Sue and her bishounen prey will most often look like this:
Poor, unsuspecting Yugi Motou walks downs the street to buy some milk, when all of a sudden a girl, beautiful beyond all logic, jumps out of a Plot Hole. This girl is Mary Sue number four-thousand-two-hundred-and-twenty-nine. Let's call her Crystal.
"OMG Yugi!1" says Crystal.
"U lyk, totally half 2 hlp!1! im lyk a ReIncArnated egiptan princess/preitess/neko demon/saiyan! i hve a miLlennium item and sooper speshul powerz!1!11! My Daddy is OMG so MEEN 2 me! U must hlp me cuz it is ur destiny!OMG!" Here she stops for breath.
"OMG nd my Yami sez ur Yami is deztinned 2 b her twu wuv cuz she sez so LOL"
Neither Yami nor Yugi has any objection to this because their collective I.Q. has been magically reduced to that of a table lamp.
"OK!" says Yugi.
"lolz" says Yami.
And off they go a-skipping.
So you see any physically attractive man is putty in the hands of these beautiful Maidens of Illogic.
As I draw this long wandering prologue to a close, I'll say that this story has nothing to do with the King of Games himself. It involves his rival, his rival's brother, (woe be to them!) and a certain Maiden of Illogic.
Well, that's that. The actual story starts in Chapter One: Enter Sakura, Exit Sense.
Once again creative criticism is greatly appreciated!