Only a Clone

It's her.

The girl that I cared deeply about.

The girl that never seems to respond to my feelings.

The girl who always seemed to be by Athrun's side.

Who, in the end, exposed Athrun's treachery to Talia.

Whose attention was focused on Shinn more than was ever given to me.

Lunamaria Hawke.

The very name makes me shudder with longing and concern.

The girl who pilot the ZAKU Warrior mobile suit.

The same girl that was entrusted with Shinn's Impulse Gundam.

The girl who never seemed to care about me more than just comrades.

Why?

Is it because I'm just a clone?

A copy of someone else?

My abilities are the same of a dead man?

I'm not an original?

Why?

Why is she closer to Shinn than me?

Why does she always clinging by his side?

What does he have that I don't?

Why…

Did she kiss Shinn?

Shinn tried to kill her!

Yet…

She forgave him.

Said he was having a trauma.

Shinn tried to kill her own little sister!

What did she say?

She said it was Athrun's fault for involving the younger Hawke.

Why is she always tried to hide Shinn's apparent mistakes?

When I, myself, earned her scolding for making the simplest mistake?

I guess…

It all narrow down to the fact that I am…

A clone.

I am a coward, I realized that.

I relied on Dullindal for every steps that I'm about to take.

I'm useless.

Only an idiotic boy whose only aim in life is to serve a man's order.

I detest my very own existence.

I hate the fact that everyone could live happily even if they don't eat any pills.

I despised the fact that in order to survive, I have to eat a number of pills a day.

I tried to outshine Athrun, but retreat at the first sign of death.

I tried to be more superior to Shinn, when I am only someone's underdog.

I tried to direct Lunamaria's attention to me, only to fail miserably.

Hah.

I am useless.

I am incapable of moving without my master.

I am lacking any beneficial use to anyone.

I could not do anything without Dullindal's guiding.

I am merely a lifeless puppet.

What is my motive in life?

None.

I don't have any.

Death would serve me better than living.

If clones could die.

They say that every breathing thing could die.

Is that true, I wonder?

I am curious.

No one would be bothered if I die.

I'm just a pain at their back.

Only a servant.

Maybe Lunamaria would finally pay attention if I die?

Possibly.

There's no reason that I shouldn't.

Die, I mean.

Maybe it's for the best?

After all, I'm only a burden.

I am similar to the Extended.

Except that I'm a clone.

Of Rau Le Crueset.

The dead man who haunt me to this day.

Death is the best.

For me.

Disclaimer: maestrom does not own Mobile Suit Gundam SEED or Mobile Suit Gundam SEED: Destiny.

How was it? Give me some comments, will you? Compliment and criticism will be accepted.